Hello readers! This is a collab with Skye Charcol Marie. Sorry if there are punctuation mistakes and such, we wrote this over AIM and my spell check doesn't pick those sorts of things up. I hope you all enjoy it!

Warning: Contains major OC use, go to my profile to learn about them.

Disclaimer: Neither Skye nor I own Naruto. Though we do own Midori, Malem, Kanna, Ayumi, and this story line.

"Talking"

Thoughts

Telepathic communication

Hyuuga Midori was taking a leisurely stroll through Konoha park, admiring the fall weather.

Itachi lounged against a tree, his cloak unbuttoned and his bag off to the side.

Midori spotted the Uchiha and ran over to him. "Hello!" She greeted cheerily, beaming up at him.

He looked back at her and blinked, "Hi."

She grinned. "Whats up?"

He shook his head, "Nothing really. And what about you?"

"Eh, not much" she shrugged. "Neji finally asked Tenten out. Its about time too. Lee and I have plans to spy on them. Lee said something about Gai-sensei coming too..."

"Frightening." He sat down in the grass.

"I know, and he would so give us away" Midori stated, sitting on the grass next to him

Itachi stared at her for a few minutes. he then looked down at his hands, "What are you doing later on today?"

She looked up at him, a hopeful glint in her eye. "Nothing, why?"

"I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to go out for dinner with me tonight," He said trying not to sound hopeful for a yes.

"I would love to!" Midori answered, not to eagerly of course, but on the inside she was cheering and dancing and just plain giving Zoxra a migraine

Itachi tried to contain his excitement, "Great. Then I'll pick you up at 7?"

Midori beamed. "Great! I'll be ready then!"

"Alright. I guess I'll see you then." He left by bursting into his usual black birds.

Midori was grinning from ear to ear, Itachi had asked her out!

Hey Midori what is up, your mind is all... sparkly and stuff. It's scaring me. Ayumi asked telepathically

Yeah, I've been getting that queer vibe all throughout my mission today. What's up with you? Malem asked as she returned from her solo mission

Indeed, it's almost like Itachi asked... OMG, he did, didn't he? Kanna asked, joining in.

YES!! Midori replied

Malem squealed, making the guards at the door stare at her. Really!?

Yes! Just now! We are going to dinner tonight. He is picking me up at 7! Midori replied.

You go girl! Kanna cheered

Ugh. I wish I could be there. Malem pouted as she wandered the streets.

Midori didn't answer as she was too busy getting ready to listen.

Hey, I have an idea. Kanna stated.

No. Ayumi said.

Aw, come on. You don't even know what I was going to say.

But you're just so predictable. I'm totally in.

I know you would be in Malem. We should also drag Kisame, Hidan, and Deidara along too.

We. Totally. Should.

Ayumi sighed. I guess I have to go along to make sure you don't cause too much trouble.

It'll be fine. I just hope Hidan doesn't complain the whole time.

And if he does, I've got the chaka enhanced duct tape! Kanna added

Or I could just kick the crap out of him.

Yeah, but that would draw attention. Ayumi pointed out

True... geez, how come Midori can get a date and i can't? that's what i want to know.

It's cause she is a Hyuuga, and she has a big chest. Seriously, it's the biggest out of all of us!

Malem groaned, I AM NOT FLAT!! JAMES CRACKER YOU GUYS!!

I'm not saying that Malem, I'm just saying she is very well endowed.

Well. nahhh!!

Anyway, lets all meet at the Uchiha compound to get ready. I'll get the guys.

Sure. I still want to know why i can't get a guy to ask me out... am i broken or something?

Nah, their just too stupid to not see what a great girl you are. Ayumi said, she and Kanna were both thinking to themselves 'or they're too scared of Hidan to even get close'

It makes me sad though ...I just don't get it...

Well, let's not focus on the negative. To the UC!!

AWAY!! Malem dashed off in the direction of the compound, stopping to glomp Sai on the way.

Malem arrived soon after, shortly followed by Kanna with Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara

"So how are we going to sneak into a restaurant anyway...?" Malem asked.

"We're going to get fucking caught..." Hidan said.

"Probably." Ayumi agreed.

"We should spread out. Work in pairs ya know? They will be Me and Deidara, Kisame and Ayumi, and then Hidan and Malem." Kanna said

"I'm lost. What are the pairs for?" Malem inquired, cocking her head in the cute way she normally does.

Hidan blushed slightly, Malem didn't notice it but the others did.

"It's so that we are less likely to be caught" Kanna replied.

"But if we spread out won't one of us get caught and then Midori is going to assume the rest of us are there? I don't think she's that stupid that she wouldn't notice... Itachi too."

"Yes, but the same thing would happen if we were in a big group, only it would be easier" Ayumi pointed out

Malem suddenly shrieked, "I just had a scary thought!!"

"What?"

"What if we get caught?!"

Kanna paused. "Wait! Ayumi can control minds so she can make it so that they just overlook us if they see us."

"But what if it doesn't work... they could like... beat us to death... with spoons. and butter knives!"

"It will"

Malem hyperventilated.

Ayumi looked at her, "You need. To. Calm. Down."

Malem held her breath, then let it out, "Okay. I think I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, "So... I want some toast..."

Kanna paused. "Me too."

"All this talk of death by butter knifes is making me hungry."

"How the hell does that work?" Hidan asked.

She shrugged, "I wouldn't know."

Ayumi sighed. "Go get your toast, just hurry up. It's already 6"

"Oh well. I want toast." She walked off to get food. Kanna joined her.

"She's a little... off." Hidan said, watching Malem go.

"She's always off," Deidara said, "No one can turn her on."

"That was mean Deidara." Ayumi said

"But it's true."

"It is" Kisame added

Hidan shrugged.

Kanna and Malem returned. "Lets get going!"

Midori was in her room, doing a few final touch ups before her date. Neji was in his room, complaining about a head ache and most likely planning Itachi's death. Hinata sat on Midori's bed helping her get ready.

Hinata glanced at the clock. It read 6:55. "Maybe he'll be fashionably late... or early... or directly on time.. what do you think?"

"I don't know! Do you think I look okay?" Midori asked her cousin for the 50th time that evening

"For the 50th time. You look great!"

"I hope so" Midori answered

"Trust me." Hinata grinned.

"Good." The door bell rang. "It's him!'

Itachi fixed his tie then put his hands in his pocket.

The door opened to reveal Neji.

"Good evening Neji-san." Itachi greeted.

"Let me just say one thing. Hurt my sister and I will kill you" Neji said

Itachi blinked, then grinned, "I'll take good care of her."

"Itachi!" They heard someone call out from the top of the stairs. Itachi looked up and froze. Midori stood there looking drop dead gorgeous. She was wearing a dark green, single strap, knee length dress with silver embroidery and a silver sash around her waist. She also wore a pair of silver heels. Her jewelry was silver and jade.

Itachi was lost for words.

Hinata smirked from her hidden place as she watched his reaction. Midori blushed, he was looking very hot in her opinion

He finally regained his composure, "Ready to go?"

Midori was beaming "Yes"

Midori linked arms with him and waved goodbye. He led her through town to the restaurant he decided to take her to.

"Ah, Uchiha-sama. Your table is right this way" The waiter said as soon as they entered the restaurant

Itachi thanked the waiter as he pulled out Midori's chair for her before taking his own seat.

Outside Malem and the rest of the gang were waiting to go in.

"The eagles have landed." Malem said.

"What?" Kisame asked.

"The fox are in the hole."

"Huh?"

Malem sighed, frustrated, "Itachi and Midori have just entered the restaurant."

"Oh!"

"Idiot." Kanna coughed.

"Okay, before we do this, let's huddle."

"Why?" Deidara asked.

"Because it feels like we're playing football, now do it!"

Kanna and Ayumi complied immediately, the boys were a bit reluctant.

"Okay, Kanna and Deidara, your post in inside the ceiling since you are the lightest pair." Ayumi said, Kanna did the 'score' motion, she liked being in the ceiling. "Kisame and I are going to hide in the kitchen, and then Malem and Hidan you will hide in the restaurant"

"How are we supposed to do that? We stand out like a sore thumb..."

"How do you figure?" He asked her.

"You have a three sickled scythe. That's not out of the ordinary at all."

"I have an idea. Leave the scythe behind for once." Kisame suggested

"Shit! I can't do that. What if I need it."

"I seriously doubt you will."

"Hell, but what if I do?"

"Why did we bring him?"

"It was your idea" Ayumi accused Malem.

Malem groaned, "This is just as bad as me not being able to get a fucking date!"

Hidan had a slightly guilty look. Again Malem didn't notice

Malem sighed, "Okay, I'm over it again for now. Anywhoo, let's get this over with. And if we get caught, I'm blaming you all for my death..."

"Oh, stop being a drama queen. Now split!" Kanna said and the groups parted. Deidara and Kanna were hiding in the ceiling a bit away from the couple and being sure to stay in the Byakugan's blind spot

"I'll give you drama queen." Malem mumbled after Kanna left. She turned to face Hidan, "So, how is this supposed to work? We march in and get a table or something?"

Hidan looked at her "You actually expect me to fucking know? This is your and Kanna's sort of thing, not mine"

"...I wouldn't know..."

"Well, it's worth a damn shot."

"Lead the way then." Malem ushered him in.

"How may I help you?" The waiter asked them

"A table for two please?" Malem asked.

The waiter looked them over, "Your boyfriend?"

Hidan grinned. This was his chance. "Isn't it fucking obvious?" He answered, slipping an arm around her shoulder.

Malem blushed but played along, "Sure." She agreed leaning into him.

"Right this way," The waiter said, leading them to a table.

The table was a good one, it gave them a view of the couple but they wouldn't spotted

"Well that worked," Malem said.

"Yeah. A little better than I fucking expected," Hidan grinned.

Kisame and Ayumi were in the kitchen, being forced to wash dishes.

Hidan and Malem ordered food to seem casual, in the mean time keeping a close eye on Midori and Itachi.

Said couple were talking casually, enjoying each others company.

"You look very nice tonight." Itachi commented.

Midori blushed "Thanks. I never expected to see you in a tux."

He gave a short laugh, "Yeah. I went through a lot of trouble to get it."

"How so?" She asked, cocking her head to the side slightly causing a slight red tint to cross Itachi's face

"I went all over looking for a suit because I don't own one. In the end I just borrowed Pein's."

"Ahh, I see."

"Everything seems pretty normal..." Malem said.

"Yeah, but again, I wouldn't fucking know." Hidan said

Malem grinned at him, "I figured you wouldn't."

Hidan stuck his tongue out at her.

"Move over!" Deidara hissed, "I'm stuck, un!"

"Aw quit being such a baby." Kanna whispered. She and Deidara were currently inside of the ceiling. They were spying on the couple by taking out one of the ceiling tiles and using a genjutsu to make it look like it was still there to anyone who looked up.

"I can't move. You're taking up too much space, un!" Deidara struggled to free his arms to get a better look.

"Ugh, fine!" Kanna scooted over a bit to allow the blond more room to see.

"Thank you!" He peered down on the two.

"Aw, they are such a cute couple!" Kanna gushed

Deidara shrugged, "It must be a girl thing."

Kanna stuck her tongue out at him before turning back to the scene.

The couple's food arrived and they both began eating and talking still.

"This is really good." Midori said, smiling.

Itachi smiled back, "It is."

"Here, try this." Midori picked up some of her food and held it out to Itachi, who was blushing at the thought of being fed by his crush, whom he felt extraordinarily lucky to be on a date with.

Itachi reluctantly ate the food off the fork, "You're right. That is good."

Malem bit her tongue to keep from giggling.

Itachi smirked and held out his fork to his date. Midori took the food and laughed as she swallowed.

"Their date seems to be going well." Ayumi commented. She had set up a genjutsu that allowed them to see what was happening by using the surface of the water like a TV screen.

Kisame laughed, "This is entertaining."

"Indeed it is. I am seeing a side of my cousin I never thought I would see." Ayumi replied.

Kisame grinned, "I'd never think to see him all lovey-dovey over a girl."

"I know, right? But they make a good couple." Ayumi smiled fondly at the image. She was happy for her cousin and her friend.

"I'm still worried about getting fucking caught." Hidan finally said.

"Me and you both. All we need is for Tobi to come strolling in and scream our names out in public."

Hidan gave her a horrified look. "Don't fucking jinx it!" His voice a rasping whisper.

Her eyes widened, "Oh crap!" She knocked on the wooden table, "Knock on wood."

Hidan let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, I think were safe. I hope to dear Jashin something doesn't fucking come up."

"I would probably scream."

He nodded, "Only if I did, it would be a fucking manly scream. Not some shitty, sissy one like Tobi or Deidara make." He added, nodding his head at his own thoughtful-ness. Malem sweat dropped.

Malem shook her head at him, "Way to go."

He grinned. "You know you fucking love it."

"You'll never know." Malem said.

"I'm bored, un." Deidara said

Well that's just too bad now isn't it?" Kanna snapped.

Deidara pouted.

"... You know, you really look like a girl when you do that." Kanna said

He glared at her, "I think I've gotten that enough from my sister. Don't make it worse."

Kanna shrugged. "It's true, there is no use denying it. Even Sasori thinks you look like a girl."

He sighed, "I know."

Kanna grinned then a totally random thought popped into her head. "Hey Dei, if you were a girl, would you go out with Sasori?"

He gave her a weirded out look, "What the hell?"

Kanna shrugged. "This is me we are talking about, my mind comes up with weird things. Just answer the damn question."

"I really wouldn't know if i would or not. Moving on, un?"

"Fine, but I still wanna know. I may bug you about it in the future, so be warned." Kanna said, turning back to their reason for being there: Itachi and Midori.

"If this vent breaks under our weight, I'm coming after you."

"Psh, as if. You know that will never work." Kanna retorted

"It's not impossible though."

"Yeah, sure." Kanna replied, rolling her eyes at Deidara's foolishness.

The vent beneath of them creaked and they both gave each other a worried look.

Below, Malem and Hidan were growing bored, so they began talking about random crap. Hidan carelessly laid his scythe down on the ground with the rope lying out in the aisle.

In the kitchen Ayumi and Kisame noticed that the kitchen was getting unusually crowded. They were getting bumped around and closing in on the double swinging doors.

Kanna and Deidara exchanged looks that just screamed 'Uh oh' before the ceiling collapsed underneath them. At the exact same time, A waiter tripped over Hidan's scythe. The waiter had been carrying a large plate off food so the noise and mess was large. And then also at the same time, Kisame and Ayumi were pushed out of the kitchen, landing on the floor with a crash.

"Oh shaiza!!" almost everyone hissed at the same exact time.

Itachi and Midori looked around at the wreckage that surrounded them. Kanna and Deidara on top of broken tables and ceiling chunks, Hidan and Malem covered in food with more of the stuff and broken dishes around them. Kisame and Ayumi on the ground, one of the doors having broken off and was now under Kisame. Midori felt the anger rising up in her. She was pissed.

Malem looked up at Midori, "Um... we can explain..."

"Oh really?"

She paused, "Uh... no."

Midori then proceeded to yell at all of them, also having lined them up in front of her. It was a fairly amusing sight actually. A short, green haired girl yelling at two people covered in white dust and chunks of plaster, another two covered in food, and a last two who were rather wet with some bubbles here and there.

Malem folded her hands like a little child getting scolded, "Did we mention you look really pretty...?"

Midori's glare turned to her. "Thank you, but it isn't going to work." Hidan and Kisame looked terrified, Deidara seemed to be on the brink of tears, Ayumi appeared indifferent, and Kanna seemed bored. Itachi sighed, it was about time he stopped her fury. Midori was preparing to begin her yelling once again when she felt some one tap her shoulder. She turned around to yell at them for interrupting her, but Itachi kissed her before she could open her mouth.

Malem and everyone else grinned wickedly.

Midori's anger seemed to melt away as she slipped her arms around the Uchiha's neck. His arms in turn rested around her waist. The continued like this, ignoring the various comments and cat calls from Hidan and Kisame.

"Oh forget this shit!" Hidan scoffed, he then grabbed Malem and pulled her into a kiss too. Malem was shocked to say the least.

The remaining four exchanged looks.

"It's about time too." Kanna said after a moment of silence. The others nodded in agreement.

OMG FINALLY!! Malem and Midori screamed telepathically in unison.

Kanna and Ayumi snickered. Deidara gave them a puzzled look.

"What's so funny?" He asked them.

"Absolutely nothing." they answered.

"Aw, come on. Tell us." Kisame prodded.

"It took them long enough." Kanna folded her arms.

Ayumi nodded, folding her arms as well.

"God, this is getting boring, just like watching Pein and Konan make out." Kanna said after a while. The others agreed so they left the two couples in the ruined restaurant, off to do who the hell knows.

As they were walking out of the restaurant, Ayumi turned to Kanna, "Isn't Hidan like 32?"

"Does it matter in this anime?"

She thought about it then shook her head, "I guess not."

"And remember, my dear Ayumi, I have time control powers and I have used them to make him only 19." Kanna said. Kisame looked at her incredulously.

"Are you serious?" He asked.

"Duh, how else do you think I was able to grow up with Sasori, he was like 20 when I was adopted, but I made him the same age as Deidara." The orange haired girl replied.

"It's true." Deidara shrugged.

"Oh, well that explains so many things." Kisame said, drifting off into his own fishy thoughts.

"What do we do now?" Deidara asked.

"I dunno, but I wanna wash off before we do anything else." Kanna said.

"Good plan." They agreed looking at how dirty they all were.

And so, there ended an evening one can only describe as... unique. And by ... unique, I mean as also with the whole 'dot dot dot' dealy mabobber. Anyway, as to what they did after cleaning up, we'll leave that to your imaginations, as we don't feel like coming up with anything. But now, we must say adieu.

Totalnarutofangirl85 and Skye Charcol Marie

P.S. For those who do not know, shaiza is German for shit. Thank you and please review!