So, I was inspired to mix The Princess Bride and LOST together after joking around with one of my friends about putting LOST characters in as characters in the movie. I did not write this. This is the screenplay from The Princess Bride. The only writing I did was changing the names of characters and changing some of the situations to better fit the story of LOST. I do not own any of the characters, the storyline, etc. Hope you all enjoy! :D
--
CAST LIST
James "Sawyer" Ford
WESTLEY
--
Katherine Austen
BUTTERCUP
--
Sayid Jarrah
INIGO
--
Jack Sheppard
PRINCE HUMPERDINCK
--
Benjamin Linus
COUNT RUGEN
--
John Locke
VIZZINI
--
Mr. Eko
FEZZIK
--
Aaron
THE KID
--
Charlie Pace
THE GRANDFATHER (I made him the father, though)
--
Desmond Hume
IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
--
Rose Henderson-Nadler
VALERIE
--
Tom
ALBINO
--
Bernard Nadler
MIRACLE MAX
--
Hugo "Hurley" Reyes
YELLIN
--
Claire Littleton
MOTHER
--
Sun-Hwa Kwon
QUEEN
--
Jin-Soo Kwon
KING
--
AND SO WE BEGIN...
FADE IN ON:
A VIDEO GAME ON A COMPUTER SCREEN.
The game is in progress. As a sick coughing sound is heard.
CUT TO:
AARON
lying in bed, coughing. Pale, one sick cookie. Maybe he's seven or eight or nine. He holds a remote in one hand, presses it, and the video game moves a little bit. Then he's hit by another spasm of coughing, puts the remote down.
His room is monochromatic, greys and blues, mildly high-tech. We're in the present day and this is a middle class house, somewhere in the suburbs.
CUT TO:
Aaron's MOTHER, Claire, as she enters, goes to him, fluffs his pillows, kissses him, and briefly feels his forehead. She's worried, it doesn't show. During this –
CLAIRE
You feeling any better?
AARON
A little bit.
CLAIRE
Guess what.
AARON
What?
CLAIRE
Your father's here.
AARON
(not overjoyed)
Mom, can't you tell him that I'm sick?
CLAIRE
You are sick, that's why he's here.
AARON
He'll sing a line from his song from his old rock band. I hate that.
CLAIRE
Maybe he won't.
Aaron shoots her an "I'm sure" look, as we
CUT TO:
AARON'S FATHER, CHARLIE, bursting into the room. Kind of rumpled. But the eyes are bright. He has a wrapped package tucked under one arm as be immediately goes to Aaron, sings, "You all everybody!" in an annoyingly high falsetto.
CHARLIE
Hey! How's the sickie? Heh?
Aaron gives Claire an "I told you so" look. Claire ignores it, beats a retreat.
CLAIRE
I think I'll leave you two pals.
(And she is gone. There's an uncomfortable silence, then-)
CHARLIE
I brought you a special present.
AARON
What is it?
CHARLIE
Open it up.
The Kid does. He does his best to smile.
AARON
A book?
CHARLIE
That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and today, I'm gonna read it to you.
AARON
Has it got any sports in it?
CUT TO:
THE GRANDFATHER
Suddenly passionate.
CHARLIE
Are you kidding? Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles.
CUT TO:
THE TWO OF THEM as Charlie sits in a chair by the bed.
AARON
(manages a shrug)
It doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.
CHARLIE
Oh. Well, thank you very much. It's very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. All right.
(Book open now, he begins to read.)
The Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. Chapter One. Kate was raised on a small farm on the middle of a beautiful, tropical island.
DISSOLVE TO:
The story he's reading about, as the monochromatic look of the bedroom is replaced by the dazzling color of the exotic farm.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Sawyer, but she never called him that.
(to Aaron)
Isn't that a wonderful beginning?
AARON
(off-screen)
(doing his best)
Yeah. It's really good.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
(reading)
Nothing gave Kate as much pleasure as ordering Sawyer around.
CUT TO:
KATE'S FARM - DAY
KATE is standing, holding the reins of her horse, while in the background, SAWYER, in the stable doorway, looks at her. Kate is in her mid-twenties; doesn't care much about clothes and she hates brushing her long hair, so she isn't as attractive as she might be, but she's still probably the most beautiful woman in the world.
KATE
Farm boy. Polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
SAWYER
(quietly, watching her)
As you wish.
Sawyer is perhaps six years older than Kate. And maybe as handsome as she is beautiful. He gazes at her as she walks away.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
"As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
DISSOLVE TO:
SAWYER, outside, chopping wood. KATE drops two large buckets near him.
KATE
Farm Boy. Fill these with water --
(a beat)
--please.
SAWYER
As you wish.
She leaves; his eyes stay on her. She stops, turns -- he manages to look away as now her eyes stay on him.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you."
DISSOLVE TO:
KATE IN THE HATCH - DUSK
Sawyer enters with an armload of firewood.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
KATE
(pointing to a pitcher that she could reach herself)
Farm Boy, fetch me that pitcher.
He gets it, hands it to her; they are standing very close to each other gazing into each other's eyes.
SAWYER
As you wish.
(Now he turns, moves outside.)
DISSOLVE TO:
SAWYER AND KATE, outside his tiny hovel in the red glow of sunset. They are locked in a passionate kiss.
AARON
(off-screen)
Hold it! Hold it!
CUT TO:
AARON'S ROOM
AARON
What is this? Are you trying to trick me? -- Where's the sports? -- Is this a kissing book?
CHARLIE
-- wait, just wait --
AARON
-- well, when does it get good?
CHARLIE
Keep your shirt on. Let me read.
(reading again)
Sawyer had no money for marriage. So he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the ocean to the other island.
CUT TO:
SAWYER AND KATE
They stand near the gate to the farm, locked in an embrace.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
(reading)
It was a very emotional time for Kate --
AARON
(off-screen)
(groaning)
I don't be-leeve this.
KATE
I fear I'll never see you again.
SAWYER
Of course you will.
KATE
But what if something happens to you?
SAWYER
Hear this now: I will come for you.
KATE
But how can you be sure?
SAWYER
This is true love. You think this happens every day?
He smiles at her, she smiles too, throws her arms so tightly around him. They kiss. Then as Sawyer walks away, Kate watches him go.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
(reading)
Sawyer didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Others, who never left captives alive. When Kate got the news that Sawyer was murdered --
AARON
(off-screen)
(perking up a little)
-- murdered by others is good --
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: Kate, staring out the flap of her tent.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
She went into her tent and shut the flap. And for days, she neither slept nor ate.
KATE
(no emotion at all in her voice)
I will never love again.
HOLD ON HER FACE, perfect and perfectly sad.
DISSOLVE TO:
THE ISLAND - DAY
The beach on the island is full of people, livestock, and a bustling marketplace.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
(reading)
Five years later, the beach was filled as never before to hear the announcement of the great Dr. Jack Sheppard's bride-to be.
CUT TO:
Dr. Jack Sheppard, a surgeon of incredible power and bearing, standing in his usual dirty and worn attire on a large rock. Three others standing behind him: an OLD COUPLE with crowns, SUN AND JIN, the aging KING AND QUEEN of the island, and a dark bearded man who seems the Doctor's match in strength: this is BENJAMIN LINUS.
JACK
(raises his hands, starts to speak)
My people ... a month from now, our island will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves --
(pause)
-- but perhaps you will not find her common now. Would you like to meet her?
And the answering YESSSS booms like summer thunder.
CUT TO:
A giant hill leading to the CROWD and as a FIGURE just begins to become visible,
CUT TO:
THE CROWD, as they see the figure. (We haven't yet.) And if there is such a thing as collective action, then this crowd, collectively, holds its breath.
CUT TO:
THE HILL, as the figure appears at the top. It is Kate, and she resplendent.
JACK
My people ... the lady Kate!!
She descends the hill and starts to move amongst the people.
CUT TO:
THE CROWD, and they do a very strange thing: with no instruction at all, they suddenly burst into applause. Great waves of people applauding and --
CUT TO:
KATE, terribly moved. She stands immobile among the people, blinking back tears. HOLD on her beauty for a moment.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
Kate's emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave Jack the right to choose his bride, she did not love him.
CUT TO:
FOREST
-- and Kate, barreling along, controlling her horse easily.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
Despite Jack's reassurance that she would grow to love him, the only joy she found was in her daily ride.
CUT TO:
A WOODED GLEN, CLOSE TO SUNDOWN.
Lovely, quiet, deserted. Kate suddenly reins in.
VOICE
A word, my lady?
CUT TO:
THREE MEN, standing close together in the path. Beyond them can be seen the waters of the ocean. The three men are not your everyday commuter types. Standing in front is a tiny man with the most angelic face. He is bald and his name is JOHN LOCKE. Beside him is an Iraqi, erect and taut as a blade of steel. His name is SAYID JARAH. Beside him is a giant. His name is MR. EKO.
LOCKE
We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?
KATE
There is nothing nearby; not for miles.
LOCKE
Then there will be no one to hear you scream-
He nods to the giant, Mr. Eko, who merely reaches over, touches a nerve on Kate's neck, and the start of a scream is all she manages -- unconsciousness comes that fast. As she starts to fall --
CUT TO:
A TINY ISOLATED SPOT AT THE EDGE OF THE OCEAN
A raft is moored. It's dusk now, shadows are long. Sayid, the Iraqi, busies himself getting the raft ready.
CUT TO:
The giant Mr. Eko carries Kate, unconscious, on board.
Locke rips some tiny pieces of fabric from an army jacket and tucks them along the saddle of Kate's horse. There is about the entire operation a sense of tremendous skill and precision.
SAYID
What is that you're ripping?
LOCKE
(not stopping or turning)
It's fabric from the uniform of an Other.
EKO
Who's Other?
LOCKE
(pointing straight out)
From the island across the sea. The sworn enemy of this island.
(slaps the horse's rump)
Go!
The horse takes off. They start for the raft.
LOCKE
Once the horse reaches the beach, the fabric will make the Doctor suspect the Others have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Other island, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
EKO
You never said anything about killing anyone.
Locke hops onto the raft.
LOCKE
I've hired you to help me start a war. That's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.
EKO
I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
LOCKE
(whirling on
EKO)
Am I going mad or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass!
SAYID
I agree with Eko.
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: Locke, in a fury.
LOCKE
(We only thought he was in a fury -- now he's really getting mad)
Oh. The sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern -- I will kill her --
(louder)
And remember this -- never forget this --
CUT TO:
SAYID AND EKO, as Locke advances on them. Nothing shows on Sayid's face, but Eko is panicked by Locke.
LOCKE
(to Sayid)
-- when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy --
(now to EKO, who retreats as much as he can while Locke advances)
-- and you -- friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless -- Do you want me to send you back to where you were, alone in the forest?
Locke glares at him, then turns, leaves them.
During this, Sayid has gone close to Eko, who is very distressed at the insults he's just received. As Sayid casts off.
SAYID
(softly)
That Locke, he can fuss.
(a slight emphasis on the last word)
EKO
(looking at Sayid)
... fuss ... fuss ...
(Suddenly, he's got it again, emphasis on the last word.)
I think he likes to scream at us.
SAYID
Probably he means no harm.
EKO
He's really very short on charm.
SAYID
(proudly)
Oh, you've a great gift for rhyme.
EKO
Yes, some of the time.
(he starts to smile)
LOCKE
(whirling on them)
Enough of that.
As they sail off, we hear their voices as the raft recedes.
SAYID
Eko, are there rocks ahead?
EKO
If there are, we'll all be dead.
LOCKE
No more rhymes now, I mean it.
EKO
Anybody want a peanut?
As Locke screams, we:
DISSOLVE TO:
THE RAFT RACING ACROSS THE DARK WATERS
Sayid is at the helm, Eko stands near the body of Kate, whose eyelids flutter slightly -- or do they? Locke sits motionless. The waves are higher, there are only occasional flashes of moon slanting down between clouds.
LOCKE
(to Sayid)
We'll reach the Cliffs by dawn.
Sayid nods, glances back.
LOCKE
Why are you doing that?
INIGO
Making sure nobody's following us.
VIZZINI
That would be inconceivable.
KATE
Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, Jack will see you all hanged.
Locke turns a cold eye on Kate.
LOCKE
Of all the necks on this boat, lady, the one you should be worrying about is your own.
Sayid keeps staring behind them.
LOCKE
Stop doing that! We can all relax, it's almost over-
SAYID
You're sure nobody's following us?
LOCKE
As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable! No one on the Other Island knows what we've done. And no one on The Island could have gotten here so fast. Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
SAYID
No reason. It's only, I just happened to look behind us, and something is there.
LOCKE
What?!
And suddenly the three whirl, stare back and as they do --
CUT TO:
THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM.
It's hard to see; the moon is behind clouds now. But the wind whistles. And the waves pound. And suddenly it's all gone ominous.
CUT TO:
SAYID, EKO, AND LOCKE squinting back, trying desperately to see. At this moment, they are all holding their breaths.
CUT TO:
THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM.
And there's still nothing to be seen. It's still ominous. Only now it's eerie too.
Then --
The moon slips through and --
Sayid was right -- something is very much there. A large raft. Black. With a great billowing sail. Black. It's a good distance behind them, but it's coming like hell, closing the gap.
CUT TO:
SAYID, EKO, AND LOCKE
staring at the other raft.
LOCKE
(explaining with as much logic as he can muster)
Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night through eel-infested waters.
And now as a sound comes from their boat they turn as we
CUT TO:
KATE, diving into the water, starting to swim away.
CUT TO:
THE RAFT,
and Locke screaming.
LOCKE
Go in, get after her!
SAYID
I don't swim.
EKO
(to the unasked question)
I only dog paddle.
LOCKE
Veer left. Left. Left!
CUT TO:
KATE,
still close to the boat, switching from a crawl to a silent breast stroke. The wind dies and as it does, something new is heard. A not-too-distant high-pitched shrieking sound. Kate stops suddenly, treads water.
CUT TO:
THE RAFT
LOCKE
Do you know what that sound is, lady? Those are the Shrieking Eels -- if you doubt me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh.
CUT TO:
KATE, treading water, still not far from the raft. The shrieking sounds are getting louder and more terrifying. Kate stays silent.
CUT TO:
THE RAFT
LOCKE
If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you. I doubt you will get such an offer from the Eels.
CUT TO:
KATE, and she's a gutsy girl. The shrieking sound is louder still, but she doesn't make a sound. Behind her now, something dark and gigantic slithers past.
She's scared, sure, petrified, who wouldn't be, but she makes no reply --
-- and now a SHRIEKING EEL has zeroed in on her --
-- and now she sees it, a short distance away, circling, starting to close --
-- and Kate is frozen, trying not to make a movement of any kind --
-- and the Eel slithers closer, closer --
-- and Kate knows it now, there's nothing she can do, it's over, all over --
-- and now the Eel opens its mouth wide, and it's never made such a noise, and as its great jaws are about to clamp down --
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
She doesn't get eaten by the Eels at this time.
And the second we hear him:
CUT TO:
AARON'S ROOM
Aaron looks the same, pale and weak, but maybe he's gripping the sheets a little too tightly with his hands.
AARON
What?
CHARLIE
The Eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to you because you looked nervous.
AARON
Well, I wasn't nervous.
Charlie says nothing, just waits.
AARON
Well, maybe I was a little bit concerned. But that's not the same thing.
CHARLIE
Because I can stop now if you want.
AARON
No. You could read a little bit more ... if you want.
(He grips the sheets again, as Charlie picks up the book)
CHARLIE
(reading)
"Do you know what that sound is, lady?"
CUT TO:
LOCKE.
We're back in the boat.
LOCKE
Those are the Shrieking Eels.
AARON
(off-screen)
We're past that, Dad.
CUT TO:
AARON'S ROOM
AARON
You read it already.
CHARLIE
Oh. Oh my goodness, I did. I'm sorry. Beg your pardon.
CUT TO:
KATE,
treading water.
CHARLIE
(off-screen)
All right, all right, let's see. Uh, she was in the water, the Eel was coming after her. She was frightened. The Eel started to charge her. And then -
And we're back where we were at the last moment we saw her, Kate frozen, the Shrieking Eel, jaws wide, about to clamp down as we
CUT TO:
A GIANT ARM,
pounding the Eel unconscious in one move, then easily lifting Kate.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
The raft and Eko, Kate being deposited on the deck.
LOCKE
Put her down. Just put her down.
CUT TO:
SAYID,
pointing behind them.
SAYID
I think he's getting closer.
Locke, tying Kate's hands.
LOCKE
He's no concern of ours. Sail on!
(to Kate)
I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?
KATE
(staring deep at him)
Only compared to some.
DISSOLVE TO:
The raft at dawn, being followed closely by the black raft, which we can see for the first time is being sailed by a MAN IN BLACK, and his raft almost seems to be flying.
SAYID
Look! He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.
LOCKE
Whoever he is, he's too late --
(pointing ahead of them)
-- see?
(big)
The Cliffs of Insanity!
--
Soooo... How was it?? I know the format is a little bit annoying, but I left it in its screenplay form. This is Part 1. If it gets good reviews and you guys want me to keep going, then it will be about... 5 parts long. ) I hope everybody enjoys this! Please leave reviews! :)
:)