A/N: So here it is, the long awaited update. And I mean LONG AWAITED. It has been over a year and half since I updated. I could give so many excuses but I'm not going to. What I will say is that I don't watch OTH anymore. It just isn't the same show at all, and not just because of Brucas, but because of everything. The show started out to be about two brothers but it got so far away from that. I watch the older seasons and I realize why I fell in love with this show in the first place and it makes me wish that they would have ended it a while ago when it was at the top of its game. I digress, so needless to say I lost inspiration for this story a while back and it has been really hard to find it again. I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I had to get it done. This is dedicated to my BEST FRIEND Angie for her 25th birthday. She has begged me at least once a week fro the past year and half to update, so I have just for her. Like I said, this isn't my best writing ever, but it will do. I promise that the next chapter will be a great one, and I'm hoping that it isn't another year and half before it gets done.

Reminder: The story takes place right after the end of season 5, so when I'm writing this, in my head nothing that in s6/s7 ever took place.

Disclaimer: I don't not on the characters in this story. They belong to OTH and creator Mark Schwahn, unfortunately.

As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading
Illusions of the sunlight
And the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting
Love gone for so long

It's been one month. One month since the winds shifted. One month since everything in Tree Hill changed forever. Exactly one month to the day, Dan Scott died. The funeral, well there wasn't really one at all. Dan was buried in the plot he had purchased for himself, right next to Keith, his brother; his brother that he murdered.

In the past month, life in Tree Hill has gone on without Dan Scott.

Jamie has been going through the motions of everyday life, while missing his best friend. Everyday he asks his parents if he can go visit his grandpa but they always come up with a reason why he can't. Other than that, he really doesn't talk to his parents or do much of anything, for he believes everyone around him is happy that his grandfather died, and he just doesn't understand why. His Aunt Brooke is the only one that he really talks to; he believes she is the only one that really understands him.

Nathan tries to act like his father's death has not affected him at all. He is 100% focused on his "comeback," practicing with Q everyday. Oddly enough, the one thing that his father used to control him is the only thing that helps Nathan escape from him now, basketball.

Haley, she has been a saint. Trying to be sympathetic to her son's feeling about the man she considered to be a monster, but at the same time trying to get her husband to share his feelings with her. It is not like Nathan has shut down like before, but she can tell that his father's death is bothering him. Not sure as to what she can really do, she just makes sure that both her son and husband know that she is there for them for whatever they need.

Peyton, well Dan's death didn't have that big of an effect on Peyton. She wanted to be there for Lucas but ultimately decided that it wasn't her place, and that it would be detrimental to the promise she made herself to move on from the brooding blonde boy. So instead she has focused on work, Mia's new album, and also on dating again.

Lucas, well according to Lucas nothing has changed at all. To him, Dan died the day he pulled that trigger in the hallway of Tree Hill High, and killed the only father he had ever known. He started a book tour for The Comet, but the book was a complete failure. So he returned home to Tree Hill and has been trying to write for the past couple weeks. He has been spending a lot of time with Brooke, who keeps trying to get him to reveal his true feelings about his "father's" death. But he is determined to convince her, to no avail, that the death means absolutely nothing to him.

And Brooke has been Brooke, helping everyone but herself. She takes Jamie at least once week and tries to makes things better for the little boy she loves so much because she hates to see him in pain. She has been helping Haley with anything and everything, especially Nathan. No matter how much Nathan likes to pretend that his father's death has not affected him, Brooke knows it's a lie because she knows she would act the same way if Victoria died, but inside it would be eating her up. She likes to think that she is making progress with him. On the Peyton front, she has been helping her best friend move on from her other best friend by setting her up on blind dates. After a couple bad ones, finally one worked out and Peyton and Julian seem to really like each other. She is genuinely happy for her best friend. Lucas on the other hand is a complete different story. She knows that out of everyone, Lucas was the one most affected by Dan's death. She has been trying to get him to talk about it but he just keeps on insisting that he is completely fine, so she lets it go, for the time being. Lucas and her have been spending a lot of time together in the past month, well expect for the week he went away on the book tour. She didn't want to admit it to herself but she was really bummed at the prospect of Lucas being away for at least 2 to 3 months, and a part of her was somewhat happy and relieved when the tour was cancelled. She is kind of scared of how dependant on Lucas she has become, it eerily reminds her of the end of their junior year of high school. Yet at the same time, it feels natural, talking and hanging out with Lucas, its home.

After a month of focusing on everyone else, she has taken the day off, today is about her. Today is the day she hears from the adoption agency about whether or not she has been approved for adoption. Shortly after Angie left, she got a call from the agency, telling her that they were highly impressed by the whole Angie situation and that they decided to review her application again.

Brooke stands in her kitchen cleaning the counter tops trying not to focus on the knot in the pit of her stomach. She has been dreading and looking forward to this day for the past 3 weeks or so. She has not told anyone, not even Lucas or Peyton, about the agency giving her a second look. She just wants to be by herself when they call, and if it's a yes she can call everyone and tell them but if it's a no she can sit by herself all day, be sad, and then get over it, and go back to being the Brooke everyone knows and loves. However, her plan doesn't last for long when there is a knock at her door. She sighs heavily, she really did not want to be bothered today, then in a cheery voice yells, "Come in."

The door opens to reveal Lucas. "Hey you!"

Brooke puts on a fake smile, "Oh hey."

Lucas realizes that Brooke is not ready to go out, "You forgot didn't you?"

Brooke looks confused, "Forgot what?"

"We are suppose to pick Jamie up from school and take him to the zoo because he has a half day."

She closes her eyes and sighs, "SHIT! Yeah I completely forgot."

"Well we have a little bit of time. You can go get ready, just don't take the normal 'Brooke' time to get ready." Lucas smiles at her letting her know that he is joking around, kind of.

Brooke sighs again, "I can't do it today Lucas, I have to be here for the pho…" She stops herself, remembering that she doesn't want to him to know about the adoption agency calling.

Lucas looks at her confused, "You have to be here for what?"

Brooke thinks fast, "For the phone call. I'm expecting a phone call from my lawyers regarding Clothes Over Bro's. I'm trying to get my mom's name taken off of anything and everything to do with the company."

"Oh, well can't they just call your cell phone?"

"Sure, but I have papers and stuff here that I'll probably have to go through when they call. I just feel really bad for canceling on Jamie, I mean he has already been through so much."

"Brooke its fine. I can pick him up and explain the situation to him, he'll understand."

"You really think so?" She really does feel bad about canceling and letting Jamie down, but she has to be at home for when the agency calls. Sure she could get her calls transferred to her cell but she wants to be alone when she gets the news.

Lucas can tell Brooke is really upset. He knows how much she has been there for Jamie, and in fact all of them, this past month. He just wishes he could give back as much as she has given him. "Yeah, I think so. Don't worry about it okay?"

She nods, "Okay." Brooke's mind wonders off when she realizes the time. 11:30, they should have called by now.

Lucas can tell something else is on Brooke's mind, "Hey what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

He breaks her out of her thoughts, "What?… oh nothing. I'm just hoping that I can finally rid my company of anything to do with my mother."

Lucas knowing she isn't being truly honest decides to let it go, for now, "I'm sure everything will work out, but I better get going if I'm gonna get Jamie on time."

"Okay, again, tell him I'm really sorry and I'll make it up to him."

"I will." He starts to walk toward the door but turns back around, "Hey, call me if you need anything."

She smiles, "Count on it."

Just as he is about to open the door to walk out Brooke's phone rings. Forgetting that Lucas is even there she rushes toward the receiver by the stairs and answers the phone, "Hello?"

Lucas was about to leave anyway but when hears the nervousness in Brooke's voice when she answers the phone he decides that maybe he should wait around just a little longer.

"Yes this is she. Yes… thank you." Lucas notices Brooke's face become somewhat hopeful and just as fast her face falls and she almost goes pale instantly. Her voice is now shaky like she is trying to hold back tears, "…. no, no its fine, I understand. Ok I will. Bye."

She hangs up the phone, not even knowing what to think at all. How can they say no? They once again said what an amazing job she did with Angie, and she really thought that meant they were going to say yes. But then they said that the single parent household and the business of her career just weren't "conducive" for a child right now. She just wants to break down and cry, and tears start to fall down her face. Then she feels someone's hands on her shoulders, which makes her jump slightly. She turns around, and that's when she realizes that Lucas never left. Without any words she falls into his arms and starts sobbing.

Lucas is really confused, but also realizes that Brooke just needs to cry right now, not talk. He walks her over the couch with her in his arms and just holds her tight while they sit, kind of like she did for him on the river court the night he admitted to his heart condition.

After a couple minutes Brooke sits up and starts to wipe her tears, "I'm sorry, you much think I'm crazy."

"No, I think that you are a woman who just got a really upsetting phone call. That wasn't your lawyer, right?"

She puts her head down and shakes it a little.

"And it wasn't your lawyers call that you were waiting for, was it?"

She shakes her head again.

"Ok so who was that who got you so upset?"

She thinks of lying to him, because after all she feels like a failure, but she realizes that she can't and most of all she doesn't want to, she wants someone to be there for her for once. "It was the adoption agency."

Lucas immediately panics, "Oh my God, is it Angie? Did the operation fail?"

Brooke immediately puts his fears at rest, "NO, no Angie's fine. At least I think so."

He takes the breath he was holding in, "Oh okay, good…. But then why did they call?"

"They called me about 3 weeks ago and said since I did such a great job with Angie, they were going to review my application again. Give me another chance."

"Brooke that's great!" Then he remembers that Brooke was just crying on his shoulder for the past couple minutes, and realizes that it isn't so great. "Oh wait, the phone call, it wasn't so great was it?"

Brooke just shakes her head and tears start to form in her eyes again.

"I'm so sorry. But I don't understand, if they know that you can be a great parent because of everything you did for Angie, then why would they say no?"

"They said that my lifestyle isn't 'conducive' for a child."

"What!?! But they know that you put Angie above anything and everything while she was here, don't they know that you would do that and more for your own child?"

Now she is getting more upset, and somewhat angry. She stands up and walks toward the kitchen, "I DON'T KNOW LUCAS!"

He gets up and walks slowly towards her, "Ok, I'm sorry. I just think that its ridiculous."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm must soo UGH!"

"Its fine. Come here." He takes her in his arms and hugs here as tight as he can.

"Wait Jamie."

"Crap. Hold on." Lucas pulls out his phone and presses a button. "Hey Skills, its me…. Good. Look I was suppose to pick Jamie up from school, well now, but something came up and I can't get away." Brooke is in front of him shaking her head and mouthing 'no'. "Yeah…. Are you sure its fine?… Ok, great. Thank you so much…. Ok, I'll talk to you later." He hangs up the phone.

"You shouldn't have done that."

"Brooke, its fine, he'll have fun with Skills. Besides you need me right now."

"Thank you. I thought I'd want to be alone, which is why I didn't tell anyone, but now that you are hear, I don't want you to leave."

"Then I won't, I'll be hear until you kick me out."

She smiles a little, "Thanks, I don't know what I'd do with out you."

"Well lucky for me, you'll never have to find out" They both smile and look into each other's eyes, and both realize that they truly wouldn't know what to do without the other. They have helped each other through some of the worst times in their lives, and can't imagine going through anything without the other. Their gaze is getting a little intense, oddly Lucas is the first to break it, "So what's next?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's the next step in getting you a child?"

Brooke seems really surprised by this, "Um, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

"Brooke for months you've been thinking about having a child, you must have thought about the ways in which to go about it."

"I did but I was just so sure I would be able to adopt. But I guess people are right and money can't buy everything."

"So forget about the stupid adoption agency, what are your other options?"

"Well there is always a sperm bank. I mean I've read a lot about them and that is what a lot of single mothers do."

"So what, you go and you pick out some random guy and they inject you with his sperm?"

"Basically."

"Sounds so impersonal."

"I mean women do it all the time. Well either that or they use a friend's, but its usually a gay friend or something. And being in the fashion industry you'd think I'd have a lot of close gay friends, but oddly enough, I don't." She looks at Lucas and she can tell he is thinking deeply. "What are you thinking? You know a gay guy?"

"No, but I do know a guy who might be able to help you out."

Brooke looks at him confused, "Who?"

Lucas looks really hesitant but figures he might as well put it out there, "Me."