O.K guys who watch this, if your new to my work, I've already completed The Dark Knight abridged, if this is some years past 2010 (it might be!) I've also probably wrote the Dark Knight sequel abridged, if your here cause you love abridged series, well this thing basically follows the status quo, only it's very dialogue based, for any of you who have already read TDK, sorry about that rambling, I was going to wait a little while, but I pump out this quality work very quickly, not sure if that's good or not. Enjoy!

Previously on Batman...

"Ice to meet you!"

"Bat nipples!"

"What killed the dinosaurs! The Ice Age!"

"Holly Sardines Batman! A shark is biting your leg!"

"Chill out!"

"I'm Bat Girl!"

"Lets kick some Ice!"

As you can see, it was kind of crap! So, with the magic powers of bad ratings and Warner bros lack of originality, I command you Batman universe! Reset!

"Rachel! What have you got!" a young Bruce Wayne demands.

"Superman, the Richard Donners cut, the last good superman movie!" Rachel informs.

"Give it!"

"No. I have it. It's mine, taking it is stealing. And stealing is against the rules!"

"Screw the rules! I have money!" Bruce yells.

Happy slap! Fall down a mine!

"Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats!" Bruce screams as Bats attack him.

This continues for several hours. Beyond loosing a few pints of blood through bat bites, and minor psychological trauma, he's O.K!

Meanwhile at the Opera house, the timeless classic Die Fledermaus is playing.

"Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats! Ahhh! Bats!" Bruce screams again.

For anyone who cares, I don't know how to copy and paste, so those last 10 minutes were boring! I'll probably stop breaking the fourth wall now...

"I think we should leave, the screams are bringing the actors out of their high." Bruce's Dad suggests.

"Bruce, why did you get fraked out by bats in there. We're Waynes..." Bruces Mum/ Mom asks.

"Hay! Did you just say you're Wayne's! Bruce Wayne! I watched Batman and Robin at the cinema, it was a load of crap!" random thug yells.

"It wasn't that bad there was a quality cast, but the actors, they had to make a bad script work." Bruce's Dad pleads.

"Don't excuse the actors!" Random Thug yells.

Bang bang, I shot you down, bang bang, right to the groud. Bang bang I shot you down!

"Daddy, I feel somewhat reponcible for your death." Bruce ponders over his Fathers body.

"That'd probably be because it is Bruce." his Father says before dying.

The entire events of Smallville pass...

"Your honour, what Mr Chill did was bad, but he had good reason, Batman and Robin was pretty crap. He deserves to get out now." the soulless lawyer explains.

"I haven't watched it, how bad is it." the judge asks.

"Well that's why I invited Mr Schwarzenegger. Would you please recite some of your lines."

"Let's kick some Ice! I'm cold to your pleas of mercy! You aint' sending me to the cooler! I'll be back!" Arnie recites.

"Oh crap that's a bad film, Mr Chill is off, just never show me that abomination to the eyes and ears again!"

Outside the court room...

"When Chill comes out, I'm going to blow his face off, thus temporarily solving my problems for a few seconds until new ones come along. But those will be some great few seconds." Bruce deduces.

"People, I've been let out, but I have to tell you, I know who shot JFK..." Chill reveals.

Bang, gun crime, drive by, assassination nation!

"Damn, he'd dead." Bruce notes.

"Bruce, how can you think such a thing. Murder is against the rules." Rachel lectures.

"Screw the rules, I have money!"

At the Crime Boss hall of standard level evils, 2 days without decapitating a horse...

"Are you here to thank me or kill me Bruce Wayne!" Generic Crime Boss asks.

"I don't really know why I'm here!" Bruce realises.

"Than get the hell out!"

"Oh, I'll get the hell out, I'll get the hell out, I'll get the hell out and never return again, never again... hang on, that line was crap! Can I do that again..."

"I reiterate, get the hell out!"

Several seconds later...

"Hay, a giant boat, that looks like fun." Bruce ponders.

Too be continued, review please, like you don't all want to pick to pieces my Smallville statement!