Frozen
Awake and yet asleep. Images flash through my brain. Deciphering? Impossible. Appearing for but a second, yet time seems to stop and stare inquisitively, penetrating my very essence. Then the image is gone, lost to me forever, forgotten in the passing of the wind that whispers through my consciousness. An infinitely small chasm of time, sealed away in a world of icy crystal. Unable to escape. Forever chained. Tears have long run dry. Crying only made it seem worse. As light as the brush of a feather is my awareness of the world around me. I no longer care. To me, you were my world. But I have left you, and you lie broken, and I can do nothing to comfort you. But isn't that ironic? To think how I risked my life for you, yet this is the reaction. To think that, above all, you loved me more than I could have ever believed possible. I see now you would have gladly died for me. No. For any of the people you hold dear, you friends, your beloved, your precious ones. So I wonder, why I did it. Would it have truly been better to let you take that final hit, instead of shielding you with myself? With my love?
And yet, a small part of me hopes, that for once I did something right. I cling to the small fact that I wanted to do something, to help you and to understand you. That in saving you, I saved myself. Then your tortured cry echoes through my head, cutting into every corner of the dark crevices of my heart. And I know. I know your pain, I hear you scream as you weep for me in your sleep. I know I haunt you in your darkest nightmares, yet I can do nothing except prolong the pain. In time, you will forget me. In time, you will bear the pain. Yet until you forget my name. Until you forget my face, the sound of my voice. I torture you. I live.