Disclaimer: See Ch. 1

Warnings: Language, future sexual situations

Author's Note: So I just thought I'd give you fair warning that I go a little ape shit with italics and bold and stuff so here's a guide to help you understand some things if you care:

Italics out of "…" : What're they're thinking right then

Italics in "…": Something they're emphasizing

Bold out of "…": Something I'm emphasizing

Bold in "…": Something they're growling or using scary tone in

CAPS IN "…": They're speaking very loud/yelling

CAPS OUT OF "…": Just another means of expression

Chapter 2

"Ehehehe…sorry about, you know, yelling that out and stuff. You just really looked like the guy," the murderous glare didn't falter. Since his little outburst the Uchiha had become something akin to what the blonde was sure nuclear radiation would feel like. Any sound that came from the room after his "proclamation" quickly died as the poisonous aura thickened and spread out of the boy. It was so intense that even without waiting to hear Sasuke comment on the statement (which he seemed very intent on), Neji made a hasty exit, leaving the dobe to fend for himself.

Naruto's hands scratched nervously at the back of his head. "So, yeah…am…am I forgiven?" the raven's eyes seemed to bleed into a red color. "Wow. That's really impressive. Do you, like, practice that or is it just a gift?"

Sasuke unclasped his hands from where they had been resting in front of his face and began messaging his temples. "1…2…3…4,"

"Look, you-,"

"It's incredibly important that you let me get to 10," he paused, and began counting again.

Once he had finished, he slowly leaned back in his chair and placed his hands on the arms. He took a deep breath, exhaled and fixed his eyes on cerulean. "Go."

"I was just wondering-,"

"No. Stop. I can't listen to you anymore. It angers me."

"I said, like, 4-,"

"See, that's what I can't stand: that whine to your voice. And stop saying 'like' in every other sentence, it's unnecessary and obnoxious."

Naruto gaped. "Fine!" he snapped. "I'm not sorry! And better yet, I'll do that shit every time we meet up! So there!"

"What? Whine? Or announce to the whole school you watch people have sex?"

"Wha- I. DO. NOT. I just walked in on them by accident."

"Sure."

"Listen, you shit head! I don't need this crap from you!" he lowered his voice after several hushes from across the room, but continued. "I don't even wanna fucking be here, bastard! I was fucking forced here and I can gauran-damn-tee you that I'm not going to be putting up with your male-menstruating stuck-up self for the whole fucking year, so lay off, you…," he came to a slow halt when he realized that the bastard had a smug look on his face. "What?" he snapped.

The smirk expanded. "I was just thinking how much your vocabulary would shrink when you can't use all those foul words."

The blonde blinked, thoroughly confused. "Foul? OK, first of all, what the fuck is your deal, 'cause if I remember correctly you used plenty of 'foul' words when I met you in the hall. And second of all, what makes you think I'm gonna stop using them?"

Sasuke never lost that evil grin as he leaned across the table towards the discarded packet and, quickly opening it, tossed 2 sheets toward the other senior. "Firstly, it's 'going to', not 'gonna'. Secondly, the reason I know you're going to start is because you signed up for this program. Key word being 'signed'. You are obligated to do anything this program demands from you and that includes behavior assessments after sessions."

Naruto, who during this time ignored the papers, quickly snatched them up at the words 'behavior assessments', his body numbing with a heavy dread. What the fuck was this program?!

As if reading his mind, the raven leaned back once more and in the most pompous tone he'd ever heard, practically shanked the blonde: "This program is not only after academic modification but attitude as well. It's for reform, in every sense of the word. Along with study groups, you are required to attend manner seminars, held primarily by me, and apply them daily. This includes lessons on proper introductions, eating habits, how to dress, proper appearance, speaking in both in-depth conversations and making small talk, and, my personal favorite, courting."

The prep-school student was surprised the jock's neck didn't break from the speed he snapped his head up. "C-c-courting?!"

"Societal, of course. And before your rudimentary excuse of a brain starts digging into those piles of filth stored in there, I say it's my favorite because the basics of what I must do for that session is read out loud and explain the guidelines for proper conduct when wooing the female sex and set you off to apply them."

A tan mouth gaped.

"And observe the entire time."

"WHAT THE FUCK! Do you, like, have this whole fucking thing memorized?!"

"Well, of course. It's a requirement on my part so procrastinating flakes like you don't take advantage of my lack of knowledge."

The next half hour went by fairly quickly, with Naruto only catching bits and pieces of what the Ice Princess was saying to him, far too busy plotting murderous revenge against that mother bastard he called his "counselor".

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You-you-you-you-you-you," Kakashi let out a heavy sigh as his blonde student bundled around his office, walking in circles and pushing furniture aside as he ran into them.

Apparently the meeting yesterday hadn't gone so well because for the 5 minutes the boy had been in the room, he hadn't been able to get more than one word out. Albeit, a good 200 times.

"You-you-you-you-you-you-you-,"

"Naruto, sentences, please. You're becoming annoying."

"YOU COCK SUCKING MOTHER BASTARD!!!!"

Well, that seemed to do it.

"YOU TOTALLY SET ME UP FOR THIS!!! YOU GAVE ME ALL THE PAPERS RIGHT OFF 'CAUSE YOU KNEW I WOULDN'T READ 'EM SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING! DIDN'T YA?! DIDN'T YA?!?!"

"Now, Naruto,"

"REFORM! KAKASHI, REFORM!!! I GUESS THAT WHOLE MANNERS SHIT SLIPPED YOUR MIND, DIDN'T IT?! You know, it's bad enough I had to go there in the first place, but then to find out everything the mother fucking program entailed, IT WENT STRAIGHT TO GOD DAMNED MOTHER FUCKING NO-GOOD, SHIT-SMOTHERED HELL!"

"I would've told you everything, but then you wouldn't have gone. I didn't want you to get off to a bad start," the man's tone dripped with sincerity but the evil twinkle in his eye betrayed him.

"You're damn right I would've! Everybody in there acted all high and mighty, but they're no better than the people they look down on! I always thought secretaries were cool! I mean, yeah, the chick here can't really be considered a secretary 'cause she doesn't do anything, but she'll at least point you in the general direction of what you need and talk to ya sometimes! At least she doesn't judge anybody! And what right do secretaries have to judge anyway?! They have one of the saddest jobs in existence! I hardly dress nice for formals and stuff, but the second I walk through that door I'm shoved in starchy, pompous fabrics and yelled at 'cause the stupid whore can't even take MY MEASUREMENTS RIGHT!" he paused and inhaled long breaths, his shoulders shuddering with each exhale.

"Ah, come on, Naruto, surely it can't be bad as all-,"

"Oh, and you know what really irked me?!"

"They were mean to you?"

The blonde glared at him. "First of all, don't interrupt me! Second of all, YES! The Ice Princess who's in charge of 'tutoring' me, when I first met him, he talked exactly like me and used words I used, and then when we actually realized we were paired up for this stupid thing he started speaking like he'd never heard of 'swearing'! AND HE DID!"

"OK, Naruto. I think I understand."

"Do you? DO YOU?"

"Yes, and I know how much you're hating this, but let me say something concerning your situation. If I may," he added.

Naruto huffed, but sat in one of the open chairs. After all, when Kakashi requested to speak, it usually held some kind of importance. Importance that never benefited Naruto.

"Fine. What?" he grumbled out.

"Your guardian put you up for this program."

Blink.

Blink.

FUME.

"Jiraiya did WHAT?"

"He called and told me in no uncertain terms that you were to be entered in this program, or else. He said that he knows your behavior is mostly due to his constant absence but he doesn't want you to be kicked out into the world as unprepared and, I quote, as 'uneducated in all things acceptable' as you are."

Naruto couldn't believe what he just heard. Yeah, okay, he was a bit rowdy and probably played more pranks than he should, but that was no reason to force this poison down his throat. And besides, that damn perv was worse than he was! Uneducated in all things acceptable?! At least he never purposely spied on women for porn ideas!

Seizing the opportunity of Naruto's silence, Kakashi stood and delivered the final blow. "He also told me that if you refuse or slack on this program, he'll send you to a boot camp."

A piercing feeling of dread made its way up the jock's spine. He could sense his fate forth coming.

"On a reality show."

Signed, stamped and sealed.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OHHOHOHOHEEHEE!!!...*snort* WAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Kiba, shut the FUCK UP!"

He should have kept his big mouth shut. He knew it was a mistake! Since he had informed his friends of what was to become of him over their senior year, Kiba hadn't stopped laughing, Chouji hadn't stopped patting him on the shoulder, and Shikamaru hadn't stopped smirking at him. He had to say that annoyed him the most.

He swatted Chouji's hand away for the 9th time and flumped down on his desk. "It's not funny," he growled.

Kiba tried to retort, but couldn't retain enough air.

"Actually, Naruto, it's pretty hilarious," commented Shikamaru.

"Ah, come on, Shika!" Naruto whined. "It's bad enough I have to do this against my will, I don't need you guys giving me grief about it and I swear to GOD, Chouji, if you pat my back one more time, I'll break off your hand and shove it down your throat!" the chubby fingers immediately fled the tan boy's back and retreated into a large bag of chips.

The blonde let out a hefty sigh. It was lunch time and they were fortunate enough to have the room to themselves as the rest of the class occupied themselves with activities. But unfortunately the quiet gave him plenty of time to fear the ending school day and the upcoming meeting with his mentor.

Bleh.

During the talk in the library yesterday they had decided (and by decided he meant the Ice Princess demanded) they bring their schedules tomorrow (today ) and go over meeting times for the next month.

The blonde frowned even further when he thought of how his schedule only consisted of a few hours of football so he'd be basically following the prick's schedule. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a firm grip on his arm.

"Damn it, Chouji, what did I just tell you ab-oh. Hey Gaara," the red-head nodded in a greeting before releasing Naruto and settling down beside him, chewing on the remnants of his lunch.

He gave a short greeting to the other three and Kiba was actually able to manage a 'hey' before he went back into his laughter (which had now become silent due to lack of air, thank God). Gaara raised a brow muscle(1).

"Why's he laughing?" he inquired.

Naruto's face instantly returned to the folds of his arms.

"Naruto has to do a reform program that's gonna make him learn manners," answered Chouji, licking the salt and grease from his fingers.

Gaara smirked. Damn it. "Manners, Naruto? You?"

Chouji responded again, "From table to courtship."

It was at this point Naruto heard a chuckle from his friend and turned his head to glare at him.

"Don't you dare laugh! It's your fault the meeting went tits up yesterday in the first place!" he pointed an enraged finger at him.

"Oh? How so?" the red-head challenged him.

"Because if I didn't walk in on you, I wouldn't have gotten confused!"

Now everyone raised an eyebrow.

"What? Dude, that makes absolutely no sense. Walk in on what?" Naruto mentally cheered that Kiba had finally stopped laughing, but booed when he realized he was just gonna make fun him again. Oh well. He may as well go for the gold.

"He was doing some guy in the showers yesterday and I thought it was the same guy who was assigned as my mentor."

Kiba's eyes widened and he leaned forward on his desk. "Was it?"

"No."

Gaara looked at Naruto, amused and…curious? "No, it wasn't. It was a junior from here, in fact. You know I would never waste my time on prep students. They yell too much," Naruto desperately tried to fight that image back. "What did you do before you figured it out?"

"Eh?"

"You always were one to blurt things out. So…what did you do?"

Whiskered cheeks turned beat red and the jock hid his face once more, mumbling into this arms.

"What was that?"

"I yelled it out in the library, OK?!"

Not able to confront the laughing faces of Gaara or Shikamaru, he settled for taking out his frustration by strangling Kiba.

"Oh. It's you."

"Yes," bitch "It's me."

The secretary threw the clothes and snapped at him to change before proceeding to ignore him.

He retreated into the bathroom, silently cursing her, shoved his now-shed clothes into his bag and changed into the school's dress clothes. He had taken as long as possible walking from his school to here, but time likes to go faster when you're trying to avoid something. He groaned softly as the buttoned the stiff collar against his throat.

God. I forgot how uncomfortable these damn things were.

Once finished, he walked back out and cheered a little inside when he noticed the secretary was gone. All happiness quickly vanished when a familiar presence appeared behind him.

"What was I called down f…Oh. It's you." Not even five minutes had passed and he was ready to kill someone.

He turned and met the Ice Princess eye-to-eye, now knowing what to expect. Sasuke looked none too pleased to see him but sighed and motioned for him to follow none the less. They bypassed the library and entered a deserted hallway with no lockers. There were 6 doors, 3 on each side, and on closer inspection Naruto found that they all read 'Study Lounge'. Five were occupied by bookworms so they headed straight down to the only available one and entered.

The raven teen gently placed his bag on the table while Naruto tossed his and both sat down opposite each other.

And said nothing.

For a while.

When the awkwardness became too much, the blonde decided to break the silence. "Can I go?"

"No."

Ah. It was worth a shot.

"I know today we were going to hammer out the schedules but there's been a change."

Naruto looked quizzically at him. "OK, so what're we gonna-,"

" 'Going to'," he corrected.

The blonde growled. "What're we gonna do?" Psh. Like he was gonna give in that easily.

Sasuke glared but continued. "The coordinator checked over both our schedules and designated meet times for us," he shifted and pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocked and flicked it at the boy.

Said boy unfolded it, glanced at it and stared back up at Sasuke. "So what's this mean?

"It means we start tomorrow."

If anyone brought it up later, Naruto would deny any and all accusations that he had pouted at that moment. But noticing the Uchiha didn't seem happy about either, he spoke again. "So what're we doin'?"

"The coordinator wants this program to be based on trust and understanding," the tan teen swore he heard 'which is impossible with you' added. "So he wants every pair to do a Life Tour."

"A what?" Seriously, if this program got any more confusing Naruto's brain was gonna explode.

"A Life Tour. We're supposed to give each other a tour of our lives; where we go to school, live, eat hang out, etc., so that we become better accustomed to each other. He described it as a give and take sort of deal, but I believe you'll be more familiar with the term 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours'."

Naruto scoffed. "Oh, that's rich, bastard. Did you stay up all night writing that one?"

"Unlike you, dobe, it doesn't take me hours of careful planning to say something smart."

A tan jaw opened and closed, searching desperately for a clever enough retort.

It failed.

Sasuke reveled in the double-entendre of his comeback. For the first time since receiving the news of the activity his face broke out into a satisfied grin. Not wanting to crush his uplifted spirits, he decided to hold back a while and watch the idiot sputter a bit more before he would inform him that he was going to be forced to attend Naruto's school the next day.

TBC

(1) I know that by the time you finish this very long chapter and read this you'll forget what this was for, so here ya go: I placed it when I wrote Gaara raised a brow muscle (1) – the reason being I got sick of the phrase "non-existent brow". I know there's not many other ways of saying it, but I'm going to avoid it as much as possible.

Please read and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, I do small time skips between chapters so don't expect the next one to start where the previous leaves off. Just giving anyone who's skimming a heads up. If needed.