Me: I have had this idea floating around my head for a while now and can't believe I'm only just getting around to typing it out. I'd like to say at this very moment there will be mpreg, deal with it. I got this idea shortly after I started reading misumisu's stuff, she is one of 3 mpreg writers that I really like, the rest have a tendency to be so horrible at it that I really can't stand to read it, or it gives me the creeps. I don't care if I get flamed for this, I most likely will, but please keep it relevant. I really don't give a rat's ass if mpreg as a subject offends you; you were warned in the second sentence that it will be here eventually. And yes, I have completely ignored the game story line while using the setting, it is completely intentional. –Points to mpreg bit- Fairly certain no one was knocked up in the game, certainly not a guy.

Summary: General Sephiroth is used to getting what he wants and right now he wants something he can't have. Cloud is with Reno, but that will hardy stop the General from trying to claim him as his own.

Story warnings: Eventual mpreg, yaoi, het (what the fuck right?), light smut on a lime level (no detail though that may change depending on how I feel at the time), something that could be construed as rape, cursing like a fucking sailor, hyperactive Zack, pissed off Zack, violence, Hojo (I figure he deserves his own warning), sadistic Sephiroth, vengeful Turks, some serious OOC, and kelle611 being a fangirl (crack, no Mary-Sue, kelle doesn't do that to anyone). I just listed 14 warnings and there will likely be more to come.

Chapter warnings: Reference to sexual activity, chicken on a window, jealous Sephiroth, excessive use of the word yo, and a fair number of swears.

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He was beautiful, there was no denying it. Blond hair like spun gold and soft as a baby chocobo, sapphire eyes that shown without mako and seemed to grow more stunning with, fair skin like fresh snow, and a sinful innocence that just begged to be taken. Cloud Strife, third class SOLDIER. He was everyone's desire, yet only one could have him. No one could pretend they weren't jealous of the redhead standing with his arm around the blond beauty, though the redhead wasn't one to scoff at either. Many female Shinra employees had their dreams crushed the day that the lithe redhead pounced on his blond companion in the training hall. Reno hadn't really known what else to do to get Cloud's attention, his usual flare and charisma hadn't seemed to even get a second glance from the blond.

Cloud had always been surrounded by admirers, yet the blond never really seemed to notice, too intent on his studies and SOLDIER training. The only one who had even been able to break through the small cadet's barriers was Zack Fair and everyone knew nothing was going on there. Whenever anyone would suggest it both males would look at each other and slowly back away with horrified expressions. It didn't take a Turk to see that their relationship was that of friends, but it did take a Turk to see how Zack had broken through. The day Cloud had arrived Zack had scooped him up, declared him cuter than a baby with a kitten with sugar on top, and then proceeded to hug the poor boy until he started to turn blue. Somehow that meant they became friends, Reno suspected Cloud just gave up on trying to get Zack to stop stalking him. Turned out Cloud just liked the attention, something only a Turk would notice. So one day Reno did what Zack did, he tackled the blond and professed his undying love publicly, only his love wasn't platonic. 30 minutes and 1 ruined supply closet later they were officially a couple.

This of course did not sit well with the blonde's admirers, the fact that the beauty was off the market was not appreciated. The fact that it was Reno, loud, crude, and obviously perverted Reno, did not help matters. It had been the general consensus that Cloud was innocent, purity in its rarest form, so to have him taken so crassly in a supply closet was an outrage. Zack in particular had made his displeasure known, pinning Reno to the wall and threatening to rip his throat out for defiling his best friend. It had only been because Cloud himself had dragged Zack off Reno while yelling that it wasn't like he was a virgin anyway that kept the redhead from meeting an early demise. It also made more than a few people wonder who had stolen the blonde's virginity.

There was one admirer in particular that was not pleased with how things had progressed. A sought after prize himself, General Sephiroth had no delusions about his own beauty. He knew he was gorgeous, his silver hair like moonlight, cat like green eyes that could stop any man or woman in their tracks, and toned body most would kill for were his secret weapons. He had seen the blond when he arrived and been attacked by his first in command and that was all it had taken for him to decide that Cloud would be his. When that pompous little pervert stole his property Sephiroth had wanted to kill Reno in the most horrifically painful way he could come up with, and he knew some horrible ways thanks to Hojo.

The silver haired general had been working his way into Cloud's life slowly but surely, cautiously testing the blond to make sure that he wasn't going to scare him away. He had seen the look in the small blonde's eyes the first time he had seen him. Those perfect sapphire eyes had widened before quickly looking him up and down. That delicate throat had seemed to constrict and Cloud had swallowed, making Sephiroth think of exactly what he wanted the blond to swallow. Cloud had seemed to shrink away slightly when he approached though, something that caused the General a slight aching pain in his chest. The angel before him feared him rather than lusted after him, that wasn't how it should be. Sephiroth was so used to people simply throwing themselves at him that to not immediately be sought after was as good as rejection. But he was the General, he wouldn't be easily deterred.

Cloud's friendship with Zack was his opening and he knew it. The blond and raven haired man clicked immediately, both chattering on with each other for hours as if nothing and no one was around them. Sephiroth had personally watched them have a two hour conversation about how people thought they gelled their hair when they really didn't. After that they proceeded to play with each other's hair. If Sephiroth hadn't known that Zack was straight and seeing a girl in the slums he might have been jealous. As much as the General liked to pretend that he was above the need for company, there was no denying that Zack was his friend. Sephiroth only had three, Zack, Genesis, and Angeal, and he wasn't about to risk one of them over a possible fuck. If Zack had been involved with Cloud he would have given up on the blond, but the raven haired SOLDIER wasn't, so as far as Sephiroth was concerned Cloud was fair game. He had slowly but surely making the blond more comfortable with his presence, not that that alone was getting him any closer to his goal.

Sephiroth was starting to get pretty damn frustrated with the cadet's continued skittishness when he made up his mind, he would lay claim to the blond no matter what. He was going to call the petit male into his office and ravish him before he had the chance to object when he saw a blur of red launching itself at his blond. Next thing he knew there was a Turk on top of his property yelling that he loved Cloud and wanted to be with him. Suddenly they were in a closet together and that angelic voice he had fantasized about was screaming Reno's name. It was only the knowledge that the Turks would likely kill him in his sleep if he killed Reno that stayed Sephiroth's hand after that.

He hated watching them, like he was doing right now, hated having to see them together. It certainly didn't help that Cloud had recently moved in with the damn Turk, though the fact that Reno's apartment was in the tower next to Sephiroth's and that the silver haired man could see into their bedroom from his living room only seemed to add insult to injury. The General was currently sitting in his favorite chair watching as the Turk paced around his bedroom, Cloud sitting on the bed watching him. A slight smirk touched his lips at the redhead's obvious frustration, the knowledge that he had caused it all the more satisfying. It was far from a coincidence that Reno had been requested for a SOLDIER Turk co-op mission on his and Cloud's 6 month anniversary.

XxXx

"I swear that General has something against me yo!" Reno fumed as he paced around his bedroom.

"No one has anything against you," Cloud soothed, "You're just the best out there, you should be flattered."

"Oh lots of people have shit against me," Reno snapped, "I'm a fucking Turk, yo."

"Reno, calm down, it's not that big a deal."

"It is a big deal damn it! I wanted to spend our anniversary with you," Reno turned to pout at the blond, his eyes softening as he took in the beauty that was Cloud. The blond was dressed only in a pair of red silk boxers, making his flawless pale skin appear even paler, his stomach and chest were well toned without having the over bearing bulge most SOLDIERs seemed to have, his shapely legs hanging limply off the side of the black sheeted bed, and his spiky blond hair slightly askew. It was his eyes that really calmed Reno down though, they always could. They were so understanding, so loving, that everything else in the world just seemed to melt away.

"It's fine," Cloud smiled sweetly, a hint of mischief in his eyes, "You can just bottle it all up and let me have it once you get back."

"Oh I'll let you have it all right," Reno purred as he climbed onto the bed and pushed Cloud onto his back, "I'll let you have it all fucking night."

"Mm," Cloud hummed slightly.

The pair jumped as something slammed into the window, their heads whipping around to stare at the glass. "Is that…a lump of chicken?" Reno asked softly.

"I think it is," Cloud stared at the meat plastered to his bedroom window in shock, "How the hell did that happen?"

"I don't know, we're on the 20th floor yo," Reno levered himself off the blond to go examine the glass, "I think someone threw it."

"That's ridiculous," Cloud scoffed as he too rose to look at the chicken breast stuck to the window, "We're too high up."

"Look at it yo!"

Sapphire eyes stared for a moment. "Well, it does kind of look like that time Rude accidentally set off that explosive in the kitchen and the chicken got plastered to the ceiling, but I highly doubt someone was able to throw it at the window."

"I don't know yo, the SOLDIER building is right there."

"I don't see any open windows though, or broken ones at that."

"Probably just some prank," Reno muttered, "Interrupting my fun time, damn it why won't the fuckers let me get laid?!"

"Who said you were getting laid?" Cloud said cheekily.

"I did and you said, quote, 'mm,' end quote. That means happy happy fun time for Reno."

"Nope," Cloud smirked as he kissed the redhead's cheek, "It meant I agreed that you would be left alone till you got home from your little mission and then you and I would lose the ability to walk for a few days. I said nothing about you getting any tonight."

"That's not fair yo!"

"But just think about how good it'll be when you get back," Cloud purred as he pressed against the Turk.

Reno smirked and leaned down to kiss his shorter companion when another thud against the glass caused the pair to jump. A chicken thigh was now plastered next to the breast. "I think someone's doing it on purpose," Reno muttered as the blond pulled away.

"I think you're right," Cloud frowned as he tapped the glass trying to get the chicken to fall off. Glancing down at the ground he perked up, "The President is walking by! Help me get this off, we might hit him!"

"I'd get fired for that," Reno said as he joined the blond in smacking the glass. The chicken popped off and both leaned forward to watch it plummet to the ground. The breast landed right in front of the President while the thigh hit him square on the head. Rufus who had been standing behind his father burst out laughing, clutching his side and leaning against Tseng for support as President Shinra gestured wildly.

"Oh hell yeah!" Cloud cheered and turned to hug Reno.

The redhead accepted the blond into his arms and hugged him tight before cupping Cloud's ass. Another thud of chicken on the window immediately followed and Cloud jumped. "Someone has to be doing that on purpose yo," Reno grumbled as he rested his forehead on the blonde's shoulder.

"You mean someone is…watching…we need to change rooms right now," Cloud went rigid and started for the door, leaving a disgruntled Reno in his wake. "You coming?" Cloud's voice called from the living room a second later.

XxXx

Sephiroth sat back down in his chair, rather pleased that he had managed to keep that damn redhead from molesting his Cloud. If he could just keep them from having sex for the week that was left until Reno departed he was sure he could get Cloud into a state of need that would make him vulnerable enough. Smirking to himself as images of exactly what he would do to the blond once the time came filled his head, Sephiroth gazed down at his hands and realized they were still covered in chicken juice. Standing and making his way into his kitchen, the General replaced the raw chicken in his refrigerator and moved to the sink to wash his hands.

He was just wiping his hands dry when his phone went off. "Hello," Sephiroth said lightly.

"Don't hello me," a slightly annoyed voice replied.

"Fine Zack, hello, you've reached Sephiroth, sex on legs. Happy now?" the silver haired man rolled his eyes slightly.

"Not particularly, you forgot to ask what naughty things you could do to me," the slight mirth in the raven haired man's voice signaled to Sephiroth that his friend was smiling, "But that's besides the point."

"You have a point, but that would mean you had a thought," Sephiroth said with false shock.

"Oh be nice or I'll tell Angeal," Zack laughed, "But seriously man, I called for a reason. I just got an interesting message from Cloud."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, something about chicken," Zack said, "Wanna tell me what that's about?"

"He likes to eat it?"

"Seph, it was you, I know it was you, don't lie."

"I'm not lying, I simply am not saying anything," Sephiroth shrugged even though his friend couldn't see it, "If you would explain-"

"Did you throw chicken at Cloud's window while spying on him and Reno?" Zack cut in.

"…well," Sephiroth said slowly, "I wouldn't call it spying."

"Seeeeph," Zack groaned, "We've had this discussion before. Cloud belongs to Reno, perverted, disgusting, asshole-ish Reno. Not you."

"Not for long," Sephiroth muttered.

"I heard that," Zack sighed, "Seph, don't make me interfere here, because I will."

"He deserves better!" Sephiroth snapped, "That pervert is just using him for his own amusement and he'll just hurt Cloud in the end! Besides…he's mine."

"He's not yours," Zack said softly, "He loves Reno. I didn't want to tell you this, but you've left me no choice with how damn obsessive you have been over Cloud. The reason Reno tackling Cloud worked for them getting together is that Cloud had a crush on Reno since the first time they saw each other, but he was too shy to act on that desire. He's afraid of you, he loves Reno. Leave him alone Seph, or you'll be the one who ends up all alone because I can tell you right now, I will choose him over you if you do anything to hurt him."

The line went dead and Sephiroth stared at the device in his hand in shock. No one dared speak to him like that, no one. After a moment the silver haired man dialed Zack's number and waited. Five rings later the phone was picked up. "Zack says he doesn't want to talk to you," a woman's voice said softly.

"Aeris please give the phone to Zack," Sephiroth sighed.

"Zack," her voice was slightly distant as if the phone was being held away from her face.

"Tell him I don't want to talk to him."

"I already did, you just heard me."

There was a sigh then Zack said into the phone, "I don't want to talk to you."

"I understand that, but I need to talk to you," Sephiroth said, fighting to keep anything that could be taken for aggression out of his voice, "What did you mean Cloud is afraid of me?"

"He's afraid of you, you scare him," Zack said shortly.

"Zack…what did I do wrong to lose him to that…Turk?"

"He wasn't meant for you," Zack's voice was soft, "Just accept that. You'll find someone, just wait."

"But I want him," Sephiroth leaned against his kitchen counter, "Zack, I want him so bad."

"Accept that you can't have him."

"But I-"

"Don't Seph, just don't. If you don't accept it and move on then you'll do something that you can't take back. Do you remember what you did in Wutai?"

The silver haired man winced slightly, "I remember."

"Then you know you can't always have your way."

"Can too," Sephiroth muttered.

"Gaia, it's like talking to a child," Zack groaned, "Seph, what the hell did they teach you as a kid?"

"…"

"I'm sorry," the other man sighed, "But you've gotta grow up. Give up on this, find something or someone else to obsess about, someone who will let you nail them to the floor."

"…fine," Sephiroth grumbled as he pushed off his counter to walk over to his refrigerator, "I won't be so obsessive."

"No throwing food at Cloud's window," Zack said shortly.

"I wouldn't dream of it," the silver haired man said lightly as he opened the refrigerator.

"I can hear the fridge opening. Put whatever you took out back and go to bed, forget about harassing Cloud and Reno and just let them be."

"Fine," Sephiroth snapped and closed the fridge loudly.

"Good boy," the smirk was evident in Zack's voice.

"I may be your friend," the General said slowly, "But I'm still your commanding officer, show some respect."

"Oh get the stick out of your ass and go to bed you silver haired egotistical ass," Zack laughed.

With a sigh the silver haired man hung up the phone and clutching his carton of eggs made his way to his guest bedroom where he should be able to see into his blond desire's living room and kitchen.

XxXx

Zack strolled into Shinra head quarters, whistling slightly. Other than dealing with Seph the night before had gone just as he planned. Aeris let his stay over, not the exact way the raven haired man had wanted, but she still let him sleep in her bed. It was a big step considering how slowly they had been taking things, nearly a year and nothing past heavy petting was starting to get to Zack. Not that the First would push anything on the brunet woman, she wasn't the kind of girl to simply sleep with anyone and that's what Zack loved about her. But still, Zack wanted a little more than what he was getting. If it hadn't been for Cloud's text and the conversation with Sephiroth the raven haired man's night would have been perfect.

His thoughts wandering to his fluffy haired blond, Zack wandered towards the cafeteria, knowing he would find Cloud and Reno there (1). He wasn't overly fond of Reno, but Cloud loved him and it was obvious the redheaded Turk was rather devoted to the blond. Sure enough the pair was at the cafeteria, sitting on one of the couches that lined the wall. Well, Reno was sitting on one of the couches; Cloud was passed out with his head on the redhead's lap. The Turk was talking to his partner Rude; a tall, well built, bald, black man who wasn't really engaged in the conversation so much as was being talked at. In truth Zack had only heard the bald Turk speak a few times since he had met him, but Reno insisted that once you got a few drinks into Rude that the usually silent man wouldn't shut up. If it weren't for Cloud's backing it up then he would never have believed it.

"Hey Puppy!" Reno smiled widely as he looked up at the raven haired man.

"You're not allowed to call me Puppy," Zack muttered as he sat next to the unconscious blond, "What's up with him?"

"Some jackass kept throwing food at our windows last night yo," Reno muttered as he looked down at Cloud and started to stroke his fluffy blond spikes, "Poor baby didn't get any sleep he was so freaked out."

"Not a baby," Cloud muttered into the redhead's lap.

"Thought you were sleeping," Reno murmured, "Didn't mean to wake you yo."

"Hard to sleep with you poking me in the head."

"What do you mean?" Zack quirked his head to the side, "He's just petting your hair."

The blond raised his hand and pointed to the redhead's lap. "He's a pervert."

Scowling, Zack smacked the Turk on the back of the head. "Keep it in your pants!" the SOLDIER snapped, "Now, what do you mean someone was throwing food at your windows last night?"

"Every time I would touch Cloud something would hit the window, mostly eggs, but once whoever was throwing them ran out they switched to fruit."

"They did it whenever we touched!" Cloud said as he turned his head to gaze at his friend, "They had to be watching us, do you have any idea how creepy that is?"

"I've got a clue," Zack muttered.

Cloud just groaned a bit and turned his face into Reno's leg and appeared to go to sleep. Zack didn't miss the soft look in Reno's eyes as he gazed down at the blond and began to pet his hair again. Seeing a flash of silver, the SOLDIER turned his head to watch as Sephiroth walked by one of the window with Angeal and Genesis. He was going to have to have another word with his friend, this time with at least Angeal present. Zack was tired of having to deal with Sephiroth on his own; they had been having discussions about why the silver haired man couldn't be with Cloud since the small blond had arrived at Shinra over a year ago. The General just didn't seem to realize that it wasn't meant to be, that Cloud would never accept him as a lover, not even for one night. It just wasn't in Cloud's nature to be with someone so dominating, the blond was too easily intimidated at the moment for them to be together. Maybe in a few years it could have worked out, after the blond had gained some confidence and moved up the ranks of SOLDIER a bit.

That was another reason to keep his friends apart. Cloud had potential, anyone could see that. The way the blond would move when he fought was like liquid death, flowing through the moves with such precision and grace that he was only rivaled by the top three SOLDIERS, Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth. It just seemed to be natural to Cloud to have that unearthly grace and form when he had a weapon in his hand. Unfortunately that didn't seem to transfer to other activities quite yet. While Cloud could kill someone before they even realized the blond had moved; he somehow managed to trip over his own feet just walking down the hall. And his confidence outside the battlefield was practically nothing. He would become quiet and submissive as soon as it was clear there was no danger. While no one questioned he would be capable of achieving an officer rank, he just needed some time to develop his personality.

Zack hated to admit it, but Reno was certainly helping him achieve the confidence that the blond would need. Ever since the pair had gotten together Cloud had become more out going, talking without being spoken to first, smiling without that shy uncertainty that had plagued him when he first arrived, and going out to have fun every now and then instead of being stuck in a book all the time. Zack knew that if Cloud had ended up with Sephiroth that wouldn't be the case. The blond probably would have shrunk in on himself even more and his potential lost, overwhelmed by the silver haired man. It had been a very real fear of Zack's that Sephiroth would force himself onto the blond before Reno had snatched him up. Not that the General would have out right raped Cloud, Zack knew that Sephiroth thought rape the lowest thing one could do to another human being. It was that Sephiroth wouldn't have backed down and bullied Cloud into doing something he didn't really want to do.

"I'm going to talk to Tseng yo," Reno's voice broke through Zack's thoughts; "If someone was spying on us then they could be watching the higher ups. Gotta get some surveillance to find out who it is."

"I think that's an excellent idea," Zack smirked.

Cloud chose that moment to mutter something into Reno's leg and the redhead went rigid, his eyes wide as he stared down at the blond. He began to shake slightly when the petit male nuzzled his lap. "Cloud, baby," Reno's voice shook as he spoke, "You remember how you hate it when I jump you in public?"

Cloud groaned and nodded slightly and Zack felt his smirk grow as the redheaded Turk became very still. "I think what he's trying to say Spiky," Zack said softly, "Is that you're stimulating a very…sensitive…part of his body at the moment."

Golden spikes swayed slightly as Cloud turned his head to look at Zack with bleary sapphire eyes. "Oh," he said shortly before turning his face to hide from the light and nuzzled the redhead's lap again.

"You're doing that on purpose yo!" Reno groaned.

Cloud snickered slightly and nodded before sitting up. "I gotta go to training," Cloud said as he kissed the redhead on the cheek and stood.

Reno watched the blond the blond leave, a goofy smile on his face. "You really love him don't you?" Zack said softly.

"Yeah," the redhead nodded, "Don't know what I'd do if I lost him." Blue eyes glanced at Zack as Reno's face went blank. "You know don't you?"

"Know what?" Zack frowned slightly.

"Who was throwing stuff at us," Reno sighed as he leaned back into the couch, "Doesn't matter yo; you're not the only one who knows."

"Who do you think it was?" Zack asked his face suddenly serious.

"General Pissy Pants," Rude grunted.

"He speaks!" Zack faked a shocked expression, "And insults my commanding officer! For that Tseng is now Commander Pony Boy (2)!"

"…pony boy?" Reno quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, because he has a pony tail and is a boy," Zack nodded definitively.

"That is the stupidest insult I have ever heard."

"Bite me Turk boy."

"Look, just drop it yo. Is it Sephiroth or what?"

"I'm sure the General has better things to do than throw food at your window."

"…Zack."

"Fine, it was him, I yelled at him but apparently it didn't work. Look, I'll yell at him again with Angeal there, that should get through to him."

Before the Turk could respond his pager went off and he groaned slightly. Checking the device he grimaced, "Gotta go man, Rufus wants me in his office. Thanks for helping, the whole food thing is really messing with Cloud yo."

"No problem," Zack waved to the redhead as Reno and Rude made their way out of the cafeteria.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

1. I have based the design of the cafeteria off the cafeteria at Coffman Hall at the University of Minnesota. There is a cafeteria with tables and chairs and then a sitting area with couches and chairs right outside of it. I felt that Shinra would be willing to pay up to allow for a slightly more comfortable environment as the cafeteria in my mind would be for all the branches of Shinra, not just SOLDIER. Also if you've played Crisis Core then you know that on the SOLDIER floor there is this little area with a couch set into the floor by the window. This led me to believe that Shinra wanted its employees to be comfortable.

2. Pony Boy is courtesy of Kibaftw. I was AIMing with her and couldn't come up with a good insult, she had that in like 5 seconds. She's like Zack in mindset apparently. And yes, it is meant to be taken in the perverted way, Zack just hasn't realized what it really means…yet…

Me: I am actually rather proud of this piece so far, but be warned, this is will be very slow as far as updates go. I have way too many chapter stories right now, so I tend to wander somewhat aimlessly between them. Plus I made the decision that no chapter will be less than 5,000 words typed, so no short chapters to be found. While I'm really in the mood for this at the moment I also really like it, so I'm obsessing over the editing as of right now. I'm gonna be harassing my beta and my friends over this, I can already tell.

Mims: You should have seen her editing this. 'No, that won't work. Damn it, not the right flow. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL! I hate that transition, I hate that transition, I hate that fucking transition. RENO ISN'T PERVERTED ENOUGH!'

Cautai: It was hilarious. She spent like an hour a paragraph on this thing.

Me: So glad my frustration amused you two. Well review if you think this is worth continuing or if you don't review and tell me it sucks. Flames are accepted as always, just please try to keep them relevant as I don't particularly care if you don't like mpreg, it's gonna be here whether you agree with it or not. Also…I hate to ask this because I think reviews should be someone else's observation alone rather than the author poking for something, but can anyone tell me what they think of Seph's character. I'm trying to make him slightly childish and I'm not sure if I've really succeeded.