EPILOGUE

* You thought it didn't exist, eh? Well it does! *mad scientist laughter* After FOUR MONTHS!!!!  Special thank you to sai and Yuki Oken and of course my sister RanVanFan for kicking my lazy butt into action once again. ^_^ This one's for you.

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An envelope fell down to his feet as he opened his locker.

Rukawa bent over and picked it up. His eyes widened when he saw that it was a love letter. Beyond all doubt, it was a love letter.

It had been so long since he received any of these letters again. Perhaps because of his personality, it wasn't really encouraging to girls to give him letters. It wasn't obvious that he was aware of this, but he was. When he became first known in basketball, they came in swarms, but as it became clear to his admirers that he wasn't even going to appear the place where the girl asked him to meet them, they dwindled until they eventually stopped. (Rukawa's too scary, ne?)

He turned it over in his hands, thinking. He wondered what he should do it. A year ago, he would've thrown the letter away without another thought. But things were different now. He couldn't help but think of her…how every day away from her seemed like eternity. He was seeing her face now, smiling at him, telling him not to throw love letters away, to be sensitive to other people's feelings. For a brief moment, he wished this came from her, that by some miracle she was waiting around a corner, so she could put her arms around him. But he knew that was next to impossible. Just recently he was informed that Tsubasa had a relapse, and it the road to full recovery stretched farther, and that the doctor advised her not to travel. They were always in touch, talking through the telephone, but it was not the same.

He stared at the envelope for a few moments more, than with a sigh tore it open in one movement. The note was unsigned, and very simply said:

Dear Rukawa-sama,

Please meet me at the rooftop after classes. Thank you.

The note was written in a delicate handwriting, vaguely familiar but he couldn't place where he had seen it before. Two conflicting emotions: the person he was before, the person he was now. Should he go? This girl was foolish to even ask. He could still see the last one he had turned down, some years ago. How her face fell, how she cried. But this time, he would be saying…

His lips broke into a rare smile. No, he wouldn't be telling a stranger of his feelings. Not yet, until he would be able to tell her this himself, directly, the way she always wanted it.

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She slowly climbed up the stairs, her footsteps echoing throughout the empty staircase leading to the rooftop. She wondered if he had gotten the letter yet, and if he would come. She placed one hand against her chest, feeling her heart beat.

She had finally reached the rooftop. A hot breeze blew over her, tumbling her hair, but she didn't mind it. Summer was quickly drawing near, indeed. She studied her surroundings. This rooftop was where he had spent many of his free hours, thinking, dreaming…she wished she could talk to him about his dreams. She walked over to the grills, looking at the skyline. This was the first time she was at the rooftop. It was a long time since she was last here.

She watched as an airplane fly over the sky, shimmering white against the blue. She shaded her eyes with one graceful hand. Will he come with me there, she wondered.

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Rukawa put one hand in his pocket and felt the paper brush against his fingers. The damn letter wouldn't leave him alone, wouldn't it? He didn't know why, but he seemed to be obsessively going back to thinking of the letter, on who was brave enough to ask tell him her real feelings…hopefully, it was a her.

Hopefully, it was she. Tsubasa. He didn't know why, but he kept on hoping and wishing that it were her, playing a little teasing joke to announce her arrival. And didn't she promise him, a year ago before she left back to America, that she would have a special surprise for him?

And then the bell rang, one sweet note after another. He stood up, gathered his things and shuffled out of the door slowly. Some of his classmates gave him tentative smiles and one of the guys even suggested that Rukawa should eat with them sometime. Things were changing, little by little, and he was surprised to discover that he didn't mind the change at all. There was something liberating about it.

"Oooooi, kitsuneee!" someone yelled behind his back.

Some things though, never changed.

Sakuragi Hanamichi came strutting up to him, grinning smugly all over his face. He made a satisfied noise and held up a sheet of paper in front of Rukawa's nose. A big number "80" was written in red ink on the top, and it was encircled several times by a black pen, which Rukawa suspected was Sakuragi's doing, just to magnify his "intelligence" some more.

"Look at it closely and weep, baka kitsune." Sakuragi was saying, running a hand through his newly cropped hair, forgetting that he had just had cut. "You think you're smart? I got an 80 with this chemistry exam! Practically breezed through it! Muwahahahaha! What can you say to that?"

"Nothing." He replied as he fished out a folded piece of paper from his other pocket. He unfolded it and held it up in front of Sakuragi's face. "Except that I got an 85."

It took a split second for the red number to be hit by light and received by Sakuragi's eyes. It took that time for Sakuragi to turn into smug student who got an 80 to a wild boar with a very pissed howl.

"It can't be!" he bellowed, grabbing Rukawa's paper and feverishly running through the items corrected. Rukawa almost fell sorry for him. Almost. "You probably cheated, you…cheat!"

"No one has to cheat to get higher grades than yours, do'ahou." Rukawa retorted calmly, snatching his exam paper back and pocketing it. "Every idiot knows that, except you, of course."

One of the strangest things that had been happening lately was that Rukawa and Sakuragi's rivalry had extended far from basketball where it originated. They were rivals at everything: grades, who tied shoelaces faster, who wrote faster, who grew hair faster, and the like. Although Rukawa never admitted it, he was glad this rivalry was going on, or else he wouldn't be interested in anything, like before. Fortunately though, they didn't have to resort to violence like before, as Haruko always seemed to pop up at the right moment, with the ever-ready smile on her face.

"Konnichiwa, Sakuragi-kun!" she sang gaily, and almost automatically became as friendly as he can be, which meant a complete turnaround from his usual self, or rather, his usual self around Rukawa.

"Haruko-san! Konnichiwa!" he wasn't stammering this time, a broad smile on his face. "How was your test?" he asked.

"Nothing too nerve-wracking." She answered lightly, beaming at him. Then she noticed Rukawa's presence and greeted him with a light, "Hello, Rukawa-kun."

Rukawa almost smiled. Even Haruko seemed to have changed as well. She wasn't acting awkwardly around him anymore, shuffling and nervous. This was Sakuragi's effect on her, undoubtedly, he thought, casting the redhead a quick glance. That was his effect on her, and he didn't even know, the baka. (But then again, Rukawa isn't too great with the 'sensitivity' thing himself. :p)

The students swarming in the halls were slowly increasing, and Rukawa had to leave. Haruko and Sakuragi were too immersed in conversation that they didn't even notice, and his self-proclaimed rival didn't even give him a threat/promise to do better the next time as a parting shot.

For the briefest of moments, Rukawa was jealous of Sakuragi. If he could only be with Tsubasa, he would be very happy. A sigh escaped his lips and he looked out of the window. The snow had melted away, and spring was well on its way. Spring break was around the corner, and usually he looked forward to this time of the year to be able to practice without any intrusion of any sort. Now, it seemed like a chore. He put one hand in his pocket and felt the paper brush his hand. The letter.  He thought about it, and then he turned back.

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One step after another. Another step. The steps leading to the school rooftop were too small for his feet, but he never skipped one, even now, when he was hurrying, and he even didn't know why. At last he stood in front of the steel door, unmoving, staring at the door's handle. He drew in an unsteady stream of air, and opened the door.

She was startled to hear the loud creak the opening door made, and jumped to face the newcomer.

There she was. And she was tall and beautiful. Golden hair that flowed down to her waist, moon-white skin, and blue eyes that stared right back at him.

He was looking into his own eyes.

And for a long time neither spoke. They have not heard the other's voice for so many years.

"Are you disappointed?" she finally ventured.

She took one look at her son's face and understood.

"You're surprised to see me, aren't you?" she didn't sound angry or bitter. In fact her voice was teasing, a smile playing around her lips. "So I guess Tsubasa's plan did work." But she knew 'surprised' was hardly the word. He stood very still, a storm of emotions confusing him, and he did not trust himself to speak. The handwriting. How could have he forgotten her handwriting on that letter?

"Why are you here?"

"To see you." She answered.

"You didn't have to." He said stiffly. He wanted to go, to leave, to run, but somehow, his body refused to obey him.

Don't run away where I can't find you. Tsubasa's voice.

Don't run away.

"Were you hoping it was Tsubasa? Or Shigure?" there was a hurt note in her voice. She wanted to come to him, and to embrace him, but she didn't dare.

"What do they have to do with this?" he asked flatly.

"Because they were the ones who gave you everything I couldn't give." She held her hand up to her mouth and looked away, as if she was stopping herself from crying. "I am sorry for all the things I did…all the things I didn't do…" she composed herself and straightened, but she was trembling. "I don't expect you to forgive me."

He remembered how, last year, he had opened all those blue envelopes with Tsubasa, reading them together, to know this woman, this woman with golden hair and heartbreaking eyes. He was looking at her now, for her face had always seemed like a stranger's, and he looked into her blue eyes. And he knew that she wasn't a stranger, she never was.

For Shizuka was so much like himself.

But he had learned how to let go of the past, and Tsubasa taught him that. To live, to learn and to move on. He realized he wasn't angry with her. He could never be angry with his mother. There was no need for her to cry.

He had made mistakes himself. He had hurt as much as she had hurt him.

One step at a time.

What do you want? To be successful? To be popular? To be respected?

One step at a time.

I just want to be happy.

One step at a time.

One step at a time.

I love you, she said, looking embarrassed and shy. And that is why I'm here.

Very gently, he took her hands, and tears fell on them. Her blue eyes seemed shocked, disbelieving. Then he smiled at her, so very happily. This was what he had wanted, all this time.

"I'm home." He said.

Through her tears, she smiled and nodded. She raised her one hand and brushed away the a tear that fell on her son's cheek. They were all waiting for him, his family, and she knew now, for sure, that he would come with her. Her heart was bursting, looking at her son. Her grown-up son.

"Welcome home."