There is some sort of challenge-fest going on with a buddy of mine. We're doing a series of one-shots based on the challenges we issue each other. Of course, we will both be writing according to the challenge we issued. She's going to go through with it writing one-shots for an original story of hers, and I'm writing Fanfiction (I might actually go into other fandoms for this)

Challenge: Use the designated phrase at least five times in the story, never one after the other, and two of them must be the beginning and the end respectively. It's the only criteria. The genre, scenario, mood, pairing (or not), and anything else that relates to the story is entirely up to you.

The phrase I received: "It was something they both wanted"

Summary: ONESHOT 'It was something they both wanted.' Because every time something happens, it's always, ultimately, about the twins. So if their problems ended, then so did all others.

Genre: (Don't exactly know, actually, since I don't understand the story myself) Angst/Family (but not)/Spiritual (in a way)/Tragedy (but it's the perfect ending!) /Romance (if you aren't looking - very very very slight AnnaYoh, and only in Anna's perspective)/ Drama (mentioned once or twice)/ Friendship (if you squint)/ Mystery (even I don't get it, and I wrote it)/ Suspense (Because I don't tell you what's going on until the end)/ Supernatural (really really strange)

I would add Hurt/Comfort but there was no comforting involved in any way (nope, not at all; no bleeding anywhere in the story, either)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Shaman King except the (semi-/non-)plot of the story.

Warning: Confusion; angst-fest; repetition of a single phrase; character death(?); no chronological order

The (not so) Perfect Ending

It was something they both wanted.

What regret couldn't forgive, time forgot.

It'd been a while ago since they last met…for the last time, and he knew that it was something they both desired; secretly coveted despite their open hostility.

oOo

Anna knew; she always knew. There was something decidedly wrong about the people around her. Those who knew wouldn't say, and those who didn't know were oblivious, and never asked.

But of course she was left out of it; because they could never tell her, since she would be the only one who would actually do something about it.

Ren told Horo Horo and Chocolove. Mikihisa found out when Opacho told Goldva, and told Keiko who told Kino and Yohmei, while Tao Yuan and Ran were listening. Blocken told Macchi, who told Mari and Kanna. Faust told Ryu, who told Tamao. Amidamaru told Bailong who told Jun and Pilika. Lip and Rap told Silva after hearing it when Luchist told Marco, who told Jeanne while Lyserg was listening in the next room over. Sati knew because she overheard by accident, but she didn't care enough, in the end, to tell anyone else. The rest were all in the dark, but no one asked.

Because it was about the twins.

Every time something happened, it was always, ultimately, about the twins; because everyone was always looking at the all-powerful Hao, who was always looking at his other half, Yoh. Everyone who knew just knew and as long as everything was solved in the end, it didn't matter. The rest who didn't know obviously didn't need to know.

But in the end, really, no one needed to know.

And Anna was the only one who actually cared, but who must be left in the dark.

Why?

Because she was the only one bothered enough who would actually want—and be able—to do something about it.

When it came down to Yoh's resolve and Hao's threats, no one could really deny them what they truly wanted.

And they both wanted it.

So she didn't know until it happened.

Still, she would have liked to know beforehand.

Because then she would have done something about it.

Even though it was something they both wanted.

oOo

"Going out again, Yoh?" Anna asked, arms crossed, looking at the ground and leaning against the door frame as her fiancé paused in his steps.

Yoh turned his head to her, a gentle smile gracing his face. "Aa."

"…" Anna was silent for a while, as if contemplating. She looked up at Yoh. "Why?"

And deep down, really, she already knew the answer.

"Because he's my brother." And that wasn't it; that was the only sentence that couldn't have been the answer.

She pushed off the wooden frame, blocking the entire doorway, obscuring the light that previously shone on her face. "He's not really your brother, you know." But way older; and they both knew already, really, that it's something closer. Yoh was Hao's other half; it was an accident that that happened right before their birth. Yoh wasn't actually supposed to exist at all.

Of course, he knew that. They both knew that.

He laughed slightly. "I know." He smiled and, as if ending the conversation. "But he still is."

He walked off. Not quickly, as if eager, but not slowly, either, as if reluctant.

Anna wanted to follow. She knew that Yoh wouldn't stop her. But then, he wouldn't reveal anything either.

Since then she'd try to do something about it.

And that just wouldn't do.

Because it was something they both wanted.

oOo

And now that he thought about it, they did it for each other, but also for themselves. Because in a far-fetched, unbelievable, but true way, they were the same person. They were two people, though, and that was that. What was supposed to happen didn't matter, so in the end, they were also not the same person; that was also true.

But looking back, he knew that in this state of confusion amongst the clarity that only the two of them shared, their hearts were shared—connected—by exactly what they had been saying to each other all along.

"I knew you would think about it—"

"I have always wanted the chance to just talk to you—"

"Annoying, isn't it—"

"I know you can read minds—"

"Everyone is scared of me—"

"Don't you feel anything—"

"I've felt betrayed from the very beginning—"

"Because Hao has no friends—"

"Your soul is upset, Yoh—"

"I know you won't kill me right now—"

"Since I'm your older brother—"

"After all, you are my older brother."

And in that little span of what were maybe ten minutes, they understood each other perfectly even though the people (and spirits) around them did not. Both were lonely, leading opposite lives, growing up differently, and found the greatest condolences in a cat—separate branches rooting from the same seed—but there's really nothing about them that set them apart or made them the same.

They just were, and wanting something like this…it's not selfish; it's selfless, because they were doing it for the other at their own suffering.

It just so happened that they both wanted it.

oOo

"Tomorrow will be your last chance to hesitate, Yoh." Hao smiled softly, the usual condescending tone and the usual condescending gaze ever-present. "Not that there's anything to hesitate about."

And they both knew that was true.

But Yoh hesitated, nonetheless.

Hao wanted it. He wanted it as well. It was the best ending, for everyone except himself; and to Hao, the exact same thought.

Because they both felt bitter about the past, and that last dream, so long ago, would be quite forgotten because they could both see themselves by seeing each other, and realize that there's ultimately no goal at all, because after the end, there was nothing.

Nothing at all.

"You're right, Hao." Yoh sat down on the grass with a sigh, indicating exhaustion. "There's no reason to hesitate at all."

But he still hesitated. It was a weird feeling, like the moment when one pauses right at the moment before jumping into a lake and stopping because one shivers at the anticipation of the cold water and could already feel it, goose bumps crawling up the skin…

It's called cowardice, Yoh realized. It was the clench at his heart accompanying the fear and anticipation of the consequences, feeling them gnawing at him before the deed was even done—

"Go ahead, then. Tell me what I have to do."

And Hao couldn't be gladder. He couldn't do it before because back then Yoh hesitated and when it's something they both want he just couldn't do it when Yoh didn't want him to.

But he's not happy.

Neither of them was happy about it. They both wanted it, sure, but they wanted to go through with it in order to satisfy the other at the cost of their own happiness.

So they couldn't be happy about it, even if it was something they both wanted.

oOo

When he thought back on it, it was a good decision after all. Anna didn't think so, but that's her. Because she didn't understand what it means to be 'Hao'. But even though he liked the way it happened, he wasn't happy, simply because he wasn't supposed to be happy about it.

And everyone else felt good about it too. No one died, really, as a result, and even though no one could really be satisfied with an ending like this, no one complained. There was nothing to complain about, after all. It was just not a resolute ending, and every one of them all knew it, but since they both wanted it, no one could do anything about it.

Except Anna, and that's why no one told her.

They all thought about it, too, countless times, and it's not like he regretted what he did. Whatever happened five hundred or one thousand years ago really didn't matter to him, even though it did because he was part of Hao. But he's Yoh, too, so how could he care about a time that he had no remembrance of?

And Hao also admitted, secretly, that if he had Yoh to save him like Anna did, then all this wouldn't have happened.

But Yoh was part of him, so how would it have worked? Besides, it wouldn't really have worked, anyways, because Matamune wasn't even born then, and then he and Yoh would've both died while Yoh was trying to save him, and then it would work because then it would all end right there and then. (Yoh had laughed, then, at the irony of it all, while Hao chuckled slightly in agreement)

And none of that made sense, but since the end had already passed, none of that mattered anymore.

It was something they both wanted, so even if, if, there were regrets (and there were none, after all), they wouldn't have changed the outcome had another chance been given.

oOo

"Okaeri." Yoh paused in his slow venture toward his bed in the dark. He didn't expect anyone to be up and in his room. But of course, Anna would always be there, to make sure that he at least came back in one piece. And she would realize, too, that even if he came back safely, like all other times, something had changed.

Yoh slowly turned toward the other side of the room, where his fiancée's thin figure was softly illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. "Tadaima." What else could he say?

"What happened, Yoh?" She asked, not looking at him. She was on her knees, turned towards the window and facing down. Her back was straight, her poise upright, like a proper okami waiting on her guests. The moonlight shining upon her through the lone window of his temporary room cast an ethereal light upon her, embracing her with a gentle light, making her seem like a tragic goddess, looking so much older than she was. There were no visible emotions to be seen, no conspicuous gestures that indicated unease, discomfort, or anything out of place at all.

"Nothing."

"Nothing means something, Yoh."

"It's not an important something."

"Then why can't you tell me?"

"You don't really need to know something like this."

"Of course I do."

"No, you really don't."

"Even X-Law's Marco knows."

"He didn't need to know, either. Really, no one did."

"Then why can't I know if he knows?"

"…" A pause. There was no reason not to tell Anna now that it happened, and really, she already knew that something was wrong. If she could not change what has happened, might as well appease her, right?

But he didn't tell her. There's no reason for her to know, after all.

He said just that, insisted, even.

"Then…why did it happen?" Anna knew, in a way. She could feel it. She could tell, but she didn't know, because she didn't want it to happen; because it made him suffer. She knew that he's suffering, and that was actually because—

"It was something we both wanted." He explained. "That's all there is to it."

And she knew that's all there is to it, because she always knew. But she didn't want it to be true, because Yoh was suffering, and Hao was not. Because Yoh was the one she loved, even though he existed because of Hao, whom she hated because he reminded her of who she was.

She stood up and started towards the exit. "You didn't want it, and neither did he." She opened the door that he previously closed. "I don't care what it was." Her back was to him, but she turned her head a bit. "But the only reason you wanted it was because you thought it was your responsibility…but really, it wasn't."

And she left, just like that, gently closing the door behind him. But by then, she already knew, and she couldn't do a thing about it. She would lecture him later, and maybe punish him with a harsher training schedule, but right then, he was suffering...suffering in Hao's place when Hao's blissfully unaware, or rather, aware but none of it mattered to him anymore.

In a way, though, she was right. And in the end, Yoh's the only one suffering because after all, Hao was his brother, the only way he can view Hao no matter what anyone else told him. He wanted to be Hao's friend, too, but he never wanted to be a part of him. But wasn't it enough to be brothers? But the part of him that told him he's a part of Hao agreed with the part of him that told him he's Yoh and both told him he wanted it, so he wanted it, just as Hao did.

For why else would he exist? To Hao, he existed to be devoured; to his family, he existed to defeat Hao. So in the end, it was his responsibility, wasn't it?

Then it all ended perfectly, after all.

He didn't respond, and merely got under the blankets to sleep. "It was something we both wanted." He muttered as he closed his eyes. And that's really all there was to it.

After all, it was true. It was something they both wanted.

oOo

And the next day, when it was decided that they would finally proceed to the second round of the Shaman Fight, everyone who's left alive, along with their and other spirits, gathered together to watch the next round commence.

Everyone except Hao.

And everyone was confused, except the people who knew…and Anna.

"He died." Yoh told them.

And now everyone, including Anna and those who knew, were confused.

But the first type of confused, the what-is-going-on confused, is different from the second type, the what-are-you-saying confused.

Yoh smiled. "Yesterday, he told me to tell everyone he was sorry, he was no longer interested and would rather look for something more interesting, he would like now to go to sleep, he had fun, thanks for the entertainment, maybe next time, and goodnight." He rattled out in simplicity, without pause or any indication that he was lying.

So no one questioned him.

And the Shaman Fight continued, then ended.

oOo

However, Anna knew, and so did everyone who already knew, that it wasn't the truth.

Because Hao was not looking for something more interesting and would not be coming back the next time. They all knew where Hao was, and the only thing they could do was to look at Yoh and wonder when he learned to tell such an elaborate lie without batting an eyelash.

But that was to be expected.

After all, Hao was a very good liar, with an amazing ability to distinguish—with one hundred percent accuracy—if others were lying.

And Yoh was a part of Hao, right?

Oh wait; it was the other way around now, wasn't it?

But that didn't make much difference; they were one, after all, at the very beginning.

And Hao asked for it, too, persuading that really, he has nothing that he was living for other than the vengeance against his suffering only to realize, in fact, that he suffered more by continuing to live. And if what had happened hadn't happen, he would continue to live (and therefore suffer), centuries after centuries.

Yoh agreed, and even added that Hao was also hurting others, and as Yoh, he didn't like that.

So they came to a very complacent agreement. It was the perfect ending to all the drama that had been going on.

After all, when it came to the Shaman Fight this time, everyone agreed that when something happened, it was always about the twins. So if their problems ended, then so did all others. And that's why it didn't matter, in the end, who became the Shaman King; because Hao was supposed to be the one to step onto that throne, and he wasn't there anymore. It was a good ending to the long drama that dragged in more victims as it droned on, and everyone was satisfied.

Still, they were brothers, after all, and Yoh wanted to be his friend, too. At the end of it all, they agreed upon it because they both wanted it, and they both benefited from it. They separated then, forever, even as they joined. Hao managed to escape into nothingness, and did not feel the pain of this separation.

But Yoh did.

So he suffers.

And maybe, like Anna said, no one wanted it in the first place, but really, only one fact mattered.

It was something they both wanted.

oOo

A/N: This was really weird. My friend thought so. Even I thought so. I didn't know where it came from, really. The story wrote itself. I was listening to "Sore Ga Ai, Deshou" by Shimokawa Mikuni, and the tune kinda affected me too, I guess. I just made it up as I went. Actually, I wrote the quote, copied it, and just pasted wherever it fits into.

A very considerate reader warned me about my inconsistency in tenses, so I went over the story and tried to put everything into past tense, but if I miss some then oops.

But there's a reason that the last 'suffers' is in present tense. So leave that alone.

Yeah…sorry about the angst-fest that has been going on. Hopefully, the next one I write will be a happier one (or at least fluffier). But for now, angst-fest dominates; sorry again.

Now, for those who are confused (including myself), here's the gist of the story (the way I deducted after I read it twice over again):

(By the way, if you're smart and already understood or you already interpreted it your own way, you can't just skip right past the next paragraph)

Hao says that he will devour Yoh and become the strongest when Yoh reaches his highest potential. In a sense, that's completely getting rid of Yoh and reabsorbing his other half into himself and make himself whole again. But along the way, he realizes that really, it's all pointless. He set his original goal because he suffers, but if he himself were to end, then he wouldn't have to suffer all the betrayal and annoying thoughts and sadness anymore. Yoh knows this, and he wants it because Hao is causing suffering for everyone, and Yoh doesn't like that. Hao knows this and instead of wanting to end himself to cease his suffering, he wants to end himself to cease Yoh's suffering. Yoh wants to help him in a similar sense, that instead of everyone else, he wants to help put Hao out of his misery. So in a way, they're both doing it for each other even though they both benefit from an end of Hao's existence. But Yoh's also sad because Hao is important to him as a (desired) friend and brother, as well as an important other half, so he hesitates even though they both want it. And in the end they go through with it, but since Hao cannot merely die (since he'll just transmigrate anyways), he gives himself to Yoh, similarly to the way he first planned on devouring Yoh, and Yoh feels that he deserves the suffering for making Hao disappear. So instead of Yoh becoming a part of Hao, Hao became a part of Yoh.

Random deduction ends.

Please don't ask me how this works. Like I said, the story wrote itself. And I guess it made sense to my fingers that just typed the next word my mind thought of, and I thought "why not? It answers the challenge and it's not like it's any harm to write a confusing story once in a while (not that my other stories are not confusing), since my one-shots are usually so boring anyways".

To those who care: I used the designated phrase 6 times (not case-sensitive)

So yeah, that's that, the end, final, so on so forth. Now laugh all you want, leave a well-thought-out, amusing flame accusing me of writing nonsense (but I love replying to flames; there are just so much to say. So leave your username or at least an e-mail address; I won't stalk you ;D), and then go entertain yourself elsewhere.