I was so used to Cameron's 'eccentricies' by now that when Mom said she'd sent her to buy me a birthday cake, I imagined her standing at the baker's counter and just staring at the cakes. I imagined she was probably logically trying to reason which cake I would like more. She's probably going to drive the clerk crazy.

I liked her name the moment she said t. I couldn't believe that this gorgeous girl was talking to me, the weird new kid. She was so funny, and had such a great personality.

I couldn't believe how quickly she dropped the façade when I found out she was a Terminator. Who is she, I want to say, to barge in and pretend to be my friend, and pretend to like me? I want to ask her, and I stop myself, so many times, but I just want her to be that funny gorgeous girl again. Just to be that and just for a little while.

Who is she, that I trust her, even when she locks us in a freaking bank vault, and my mom is freaking, and I still trust her? Who am I to her, that she knows I'll trust her?

She takes us to the future, and we find a home, and I watch her. And even though I never ask it, I wonder everyday.

Who are you?

I don't want to be a leader. I don't want to send my friends to their deaths. I don't want everyone I know to die. I don't want to have to be clever, and eventually...cold.

My mother expects it, and she trains me for it. But she can't make me something I'm not.

What can I do, to avoid my destiny?

Apparently, nothing. Jordan's death shows me a part of my future, and I hate it. I hate Cameron for stopping me.

What kind of hero am I supposed to be if I can't save one young girl?

What kind of person am I when I know what Cameron is; I know she can kill me in an instant; I know she wouldn't save someone that wasn't necessary; and I still trust her with my life?

What am I supposed to think when I realize that Cameron wants to destroy her own kind, and help me? It may be a stretch to think that of her, but I believe it. What else am I supposed to think when she waits until I'm already halfway to the warehouse before she tells my mom exactly how many soldiers that much Coltan will make. I know she must have heard me crawling out of the truck.I think she wanted me to do it.

What am I to her in the future? She knows me, protects me, and sometimes, she watches me. Mostly, she teaches me, no matter how stupid I am to get trhe lesson. She's made me stronger and smarter.

What is she making me into?

Where will we finally find Skynet? Is it really Andy's Turk, or is it a piece of software sitting in some kid's cell phone, waiting.

I know we'll find it. I'm not always so sure, but the longer Cameron is with us, the more sure I become. It's only a matter of time. Until then, she'll protect me, and by default, Mom, for as long as it takes.

We're watching Andy's Turk and I sense her as soon as she's enters the auditorium. I'd like to think it's because some part of me can automatically detect a danger when it enters the room. Another part of me is laughing hystericallat the first part and is thinking very clearly that I can just sense her.

I focus on the part of me that wants to sense danger.

Where would I ever be able to be safe if she turned against us? Where would she finally catch up?

Where would she leave me dead?

Where is the damn Turk?

We save Derek, and in the midst of it all, Cameron has to fight the Terminator that's supposed to kill Derek. I try to help her, like there's anything I can do. This Derek guy dismisses her as easily as my mother once dismissed 'Uncle Bob.' Where the hell does this guy get off saying this crap? Cameron just saved his life! Even though he got shot.

Where the hell do they think we can go that bastard wouldn't have been able to find us if Cam hadn't stopped him?

Where would any of us ever be safe with out her?

When did I start seeing her as less of a cyborg, more of a human? She's different, she said so herself, the first time we went on the run together.

She's not human, I'm not stupid. But she's my friend, and she's not a machine, not really.

When I see Derek shaking his head in the kitchen I can't help but ask what's up. I follow his dismissive gesture to Cameron's room, and my breath catches. She looks so human, dancing. A real, beautiful, soulful dance. When did she become so human?

Then she scares the hell out of me when I'm watching the memory files on Vick's chip. What really scares me though, is when she's 'making conversation' it's stressed, but it's almost real. Almost. Then before I can think about it too much, she drops the bombshell, and reminds me she's not human at all.

It isn't fair, and I don't know why I even think that.

When did she learn to wink, like a normal girl silently agreeing to a secret?

When did I decide she's as important to me as Mom is? For totally different reasons. Weird, huh? My best friend is a robot, and she came from the future, and I so need counseling.

When is it going to sink into Mom's and Derek's head that she isn't going to hurt me? I tell them she doesn't have a soul, and she never will, and I swear, just for a moment, when I look back at her, she looks hurt. It's probably my imagination.

I'm terrified when the job is done, and I wait for her to come back to me. If I've screwed up, if she's broken, I don't know what I'll do.

When she comes back, and she looks at my arm, why do I feel embarassed, like I got caught doing something I'm not supposed to? Except I'm not supposed to care about her, am I?

We're at the museum, and it's really sad to realize she doesn't have a birthday. I think to myself that I'll talk to Mom, and even if she and Derek don't like it, I'll pick a day. Maybe the first day we met. We can give her a built day gift, haha. What do you buy a cyborg for a gift?

I was so used to Cameron's 'eccentricies' by now that when Mom said she'd sent her to buy me a birthday cake, I imagined her standing at the baker's counter and just staring at the cakes. I imagined she was probably logically trying to reason which cake I would like more. She's probably going to drive the clerk crazy.

Oh crap, I still have to tell her what a prom is. Maybe she is going to kill me.

The house rocks and Mom jumps to her feet.

I sit there, the seconds suddenly taking forver to pass. Who the hell found us? What the hell was that? Where the hell is Cameron? When is Cameron running back in to get us out of here? Why isn't Cameron running back in to get us the hell out of here…?

Why?