Introduction: READ, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER… MAYBE…

Hello again :D Okay, I'm a newby (well sort of anywho) in to the world of Georgia Nicolson fan fic, and in my other fic I have muchos funos writing about the boys and Dave. So much fun in fact that I've decided to bite the bullet and try writing a fan fic based on them rather than the ace gang – the ace posse! I've got Dave as the main speaker and the chappys will be based on events from the books but from their point of view (like Dave meeting Georgia, the red herring fandango, the fish party, camping e.t.c ) so the chapters will be a bit spaced out time wise coz of this if that makes any sense at all. Which it doesn't. Because I've just read it. Basically it's much fluff and fun – hopefully ;)

Anyway, I've wittered on for far too long. Here it goes. If the first chapter is any good give me a sign and I'll continue on with this idea :D

This is when Dave meets Georgia for the first time… (So for that reason there's not a lot of georgiaisms in there because he has not heard them yet. i will shut up now. )

Blodge

Oh fantastic. Biology. Can life get any better? No, no it can't possibly or I will explode from the excitement. Still, at least I've got Ed next to me to keep me entertained. I must say his impression of onion cell is tip top at the moment. I'm very very impressed. I must tell him this.

1 minute later

I said to Ed "Ed I'm very very impressed. Your impression of an onion cell is tip top."

He said "Thankyou Daveo I've been practising."

2 minutes later

I think I might have to kill myself, just to end this pain. Honestly, this is beyond ridiculous. Why I'm not allowed to sit next to Rollo I don't know. It's a bloody mystery. Okay I admit, we did get into a bit of trouble last year, but that's no reason to move us to separate sides of the room. Okay, so we set fire to spotty Norman's text book and shoved it in a cupboard because Dr Bridgeway walked into the room. Big deal! I still maintain it would have gone out by its self if Dr Bridgeway hadn't insisted on opening the cupboard to find out why smoke was coming though it. It was his own fault really. The sudden rush of oxygen you see. How were we supposed to know that it would explode into flame again when he opened it?

1 minute later

And set fire to his beard?

5 minutes later

Tom's not even here to send annoying notes to. Off to Bruges or somewhere beginning with a B. Whilst the rest of us are stuck in science. Pretending that we care. I will just have to make do with annoying his beardyness.

10 minutes later

I was busy planning my excuse about why I had 'forgotten' my English coursework when Dr Bridgeway pointed to me and said "David perhaps you can give us the answer"

Huh?! Answer to what? What excitement could I have possibly missed? I looked at Ed and he just gave me a shrug. Very useful.

I said "Huh, answer to what?"

"Answer to the question."

"What question?"

"The question I just asked."

"Which was?"

Then for no reason he got really shirty with me and started to pull up his trousers and tutt. He said "David Stuart, how on earth do you expect to pass your GCSEs and gain decent qualifications if you simply refuse to listen to a single thing I say?!"

I said "Pardon?"

Lunchtime

In detention.

Some people just can't take a joke. Honestly, what is the world coming to? Innocents like me being thrust into lifetimes worth of detention sorting files while complete twits of the first water like Mark 'gob the size of a whale' get to go around binning everything smaller than them. Which isn't hard. He is after all massive.

1 minute later

Looked out of the window to find Rollo and Ed waving like madmen. Which they are. I went over to them and said "Would you kindly bugger off, for I have to sort through 5 years worth of folders in half an hour if I ever wish to go home again."

Rollo shrugged and said "Charming. Listen mate thought you might like to know that Tom's big brother is having a gig at that club, the er mental melon or something."

Ed punched him in the arm and said "It's the crazy coconut you pillock."

Rollo shrugged again ( He thinks he looks cool when he does that. He looks like a prat.) and said " yeah what evs, same difference. It's still a fruit ! Anyway, like I was saying Robbie is doing a gig there with the Stiff Dylans on Wednesday AND WHAT'S MORE Tom rang me to say we are all invited AND WHAT'S MORE there will be girls there. And Tom said that Robbie said that he knows someone who liiiiikes you!"

He clearly saw how confuzzled I was because then he said "Yeah you know that girl Georgia, Jas's best mate? Well Robbie said that she wants to see you there. Cool eh?"

I said "Oh God, she's not a nutter is she?"

Ed said "Of course she is. Why else would she want to meet you?"

I whacked him hard around the head for that with the 'homework folder.' Honestly. How sad do you have to be to have a folder dedicated to your pupils' homework? Very, that is the answer. Still, it's not like he gets much chance to use it. I took a sneaky peak and there are literally two pieces of paper in there. One from Rollo after he was forced to write lines last week, and the other from me. It says 'I O U my science research.' I wrote that two years ago.

3:20 PM

Schools out!

Packing bag with my posse. Hmm, that is actually a rather cool name for us. I must tell the others this.

5 minutes later

I said to Rollo and Ed "We must have a name for our grouping. It is essential, my life will never be complete if we don't have one."

Ed said "That is incredibly sad Dave."

I said "Ah but is it?"

Rollo said "Yes it is" but then he looked thoughtful for a second. Freaky! The only time I've seen Rollo looking thoughtful was in maths when Tom asked him Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston.

I said "Wow Rollo don't strain your self. You look like you are very almost using your brain."

He said "Shut up I'm thinking" THINKING?! it's more serious than I thought.

After about a minute of looking strange (i.e in thought) Rollo suddenly grinned really widely and nudged Ed and me in the ribs pointing to the gates.

He shouted "Oy DEC! DEC! DEC MOVE YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE!" Rollo is full of charm.

Dec came scampering over and high fived us like the loon he is. Actually I hadn't seen Dec since assembly this morning. How strange.

I said "Where in the name of Mr Sampson's pantyhose have you been all day?"

Dec shrugged (What is it with the shrugging? Why does every one do this?) and said "I've been being repressed maaaaaaan!"

Ed said "You were put in isolation weren't you?"

"Yep."

I shook my head. An outrage! Dec is best behaved out of all of us. He actually does his froggie homework. ( Even Tom doesn't do that, and he's practically a saint since he met Jas. Actually, I still haven't met her yet. At this rate I'm not entirely convinced she's real, but apparently Rollo saw her last week and she's 'well buff, but with a lot of fringe').

Anyway, where was i before i so rudely interrupted myself? Oh yes!

I said "What for? You are the best behaved out of all of us!"

Dec said "I know! I was put in isolation because someone (and he poked me really hard on the chest) decided it would be a brilliant idea to answer back in assembly today, and made me almost pee myself laughing. Apparently I showed 'a great lack of respect'.

Rollo said "Geez, they put you in isolation for that? Dave and I escaped with a five minute detention for pouring soap in the fountain!"

Ah, I'd almost forgotten about that. We must re-do that this year.

Ed turned to me and said "Oh that was you? Should have guessed really."

Rollo (like the dim twit he is) said "What? What happened? What did you say?"

Ed just looked at him. He said "How could you not have heard it? I was right at the front of the hall and I heard it!"

Rollo whacked him with his bag and said "I was in the art rooms remember? Prepping for the exam?"

I said "Oh laydeeeez put the handbags down. Rollo, if you must know you missed a riveting lecture about not eating in the form rooms. Mr Sampson was raving on about rats and mice and stuff and at the end of his rant he said "So don't eat in the form rooms, because we all know what that attracts!" And I shouted 'yeah floor lickers'."

I thought Rollo was going to split his trousers.

6:30 PM

In my room at home trying to drown out my brothers singing

Phone rang

I said "Ah bonjourio Mes amies! Can I enquire as to who is calling?"

"Hiya Dave, it's Tom."

"Yo, what's appening in er, wherever you are?"

"I've gone to Birmingham."

"Really?! i thought you were in Bruges?"

"That's in Belgium you twit!"

"Hey, i never said geoggers was a strong point of mine."

"Look, did Rollo tell you lot about Robbie's gig?"

"Ah oui! I'm surprised you rang him actually. Rollo is not the safest bet if you want a message to be passed on. He has the memory of a spoon."

"Yeah well, Rollo is the only one with a mobile. Did he tell you about Gee?"

Gee? Huh?

"Er what?"

"Georgia? Robbie said something about you to her when they split and she's going to be there… remember?"

"Oh yeah Rollo did say that."

Silence for a bit

"So you'll be there then?"

"Yep Tomathy I'll be there. I can't possibly deprive people of my company, that would just be cruel"

"If I didn't know you Dave I'd say you were full of it."

"And if I didn't know you Tom I'd say you like wild life way too much!" and I slammed the phone down. Ha ha that will teach him!

10 minutes later

Peter, twit brother and a half came bundling into my room.

Honestly, he is two years younger than me, but already taller. What is the point? Or vas ist der point as some deutchland people will say. Maybe. Oh I don't know I don't do german.

He practically knocked down my door when he came in.

I said "Knocking is the best policy Peter, you twit and fool, if you do not wish to be made mince meat off."

He just rolled his eyes at me and jumped on my bed. I will kill him, I will.

He said "Soooooooo…"

I said "Whaaaaaaat……"

"I hear you're going to club coconut next wed?"

Huh? How in the name of… of… how?

I said "Pete, how in the name of my imaginary pet camel did you know that?"

He said " How could I not know? Rollo has been telling everyone he knows and told your mate Danny who told his brother Ollie who told me."

I said "Your point is?"

He said "You give me your stash of hidden crunchie bars, and I'll back your lame cover of 'oh I was over at Rollo's to study' when Mum and Dad discover what a crap liar you are and quiz you about showing up at three in the morning. Deal?"

I said "No, kindly bugger off out of my room."

He said "Fine, I will just tell mum and dad your plans and they will stop you from going and meeting Georgia."

He is a criminal mastermind and I hate him. I never thought I'd think this but I actually miss big bro Jake. The big fool buggering off to uni means I have to put up with Pete's crap all day by myself. I almost want him back.

1 minute later

Almost.

Thursday 23rd September

Rubbish morning. Rubbish break. Detention at lunch for having a sense of humour. Loads of homework. No crunchie bars. A crap day. A crap life. A brother I want to kill.

Sun 26th September

8:30 PM

Dec rang

He said "oy oy, just to let you know, we're on operation Rambo on tomorrow."

Operation Rambo is a work of genius. I managed to escape the valley of the mad (i.e home) earlier and go round Ed's with Dec and Rollo in the arvie to perfect it. Of course not without the age old lecture from dearest papa saying "Be back by dinner, don't talk to strangers, don't take sweets from randomers, don't set fire to anything, blah blah blah". Honestly, I am 15 years of age, soon to be 16. Why can he not see this? Okay I admit, at the moment I am a bit on the small side (even my 13 year old twit of a brother is taller) but I am growing!

I said to him "Just because I am not 6 foot 5 and I don't have a beard, it does not mean that I have the mental age of a five year old. I can in fact get through the day without your lecture about 'stranger danger'. I take care of myself and of my camel very well thankyou."

That shut him up.

Anyway, operation Rambo is a work of art. We simply remove our school ties from around our necks, wrap them around our heads and grunt all day instead of speaking. Most excellent. It almost beats a good binning.

Mon 27th September

Maths :- Operation Rambo agogo.

I must say it was tres amusant walking into to maths with Rambo in action. Smithy almost had a fit when he saw us. Tom would say it was a nervey b (?!) but he was not there to share the joy. Still sunning himself in, er, that place he's in.

Smithy said "What on earth do you think you are doing? Remove those ties from around your heads immediately! I mean it! I'll inform Mr Sampson of this!"

I shouted "Dive for cover lads, we're under attack!" and everyone in our maths class chucked themselves under their desks. And I mean everyone. Even Phil the nerd did it. I have to say it almost brought a tear to my eye. We spent about 5 minutes diving underneath desks, with Dec, Rollo and Ed and me popping up occasionally and shouting "coast is clear" every time Smithy turned his back on us and wrote on the board. Then as soon as he turned around to see who shouted we'd all yell and dive under the desks again. I thought I'd die from laughing. We had to stop when Mr Sampson our beloved head teacher was brought in though. As funny as it was none of us really wanted to have double after school detention.

Wednesday 29th September

At Rollo's house getting ready to partaaaay!

8:30 PM

This is ridiculous. I have no decent trousers to wear. Why? Because pillock and twit of the first water Peter nicked them all and used them as goal posts for his footie game. As I said to mum when the police come around to arrest me for murder I think they will be very understanding of me. Also the ones I'm wearing have pizza all down them and I can't borrow any of the guy's stuff because they are either a) being worn b) in the wash or c) in Rollo's case scary beyond belief. The only pair he has available are bright green. I would rather be in my nuddy pants thankyou very much. Which I will end up doing at this rate. I am for one NOT going out in my super man boxer shorts.

5 minutes later

Still in boxers staring at Rollo's trousers. I can't wear those things surely. They are beyond the realms of hideousness. Not even someone with the cosmic horn could love them.

2 minutes later

No I can't… I will never recover. I will need counselling if I wear those things.

1 minute later

Ed to the rescue! In his spare (!) combats after spending an hour in my boxers staring at Rollo's scary pants trousers. Honestly who has spare pairs of trousers in their bags? I would have said something but I was just glad not to have to wear those things Rollo was shoving in my face.

Club coconut

11:00 PM

Standing by the bar on 'cat patrol' with Ed, Dec, Rollo, Steve, Danny and some of 'the Dame's' crowd. Basically we stand about looking cool and groovy until a song comes on we can actually dance to, and we drag some girl (or bird) to boogie on down with us. Jeez I luuurve Tom (strictly in a non homosexualist way of course.) and his family but Robbie really does write some depressing songs. I think this one is about a fish trapped in a net. I tried to start a conga to it but as Ed said no wanted to join my cong.

1 minute later

Rollo nudged me and said "oy look over there. I think that's Jas and her mate. I think she must be Gee."

I said "Er, where? In case you haven't noticed we are in a club, there are a lot of people here. I do not have a magic eye you know."

He said "Look, over there you fool. Blimey there's three others with them. And that huge Swedish bloke whose in upper sixth and wearing flares. Sven isn't it? I wonder if he's going out with any one of them?"

I said "Why are you interested?" and then we all burst out laughing like lunatics.

Then a tallish blonde girl came over to us and started to talk to Rollo.

She said "Hey, Rollo isn't it?"

He nodded (scarily sensible. I was so frightened I had to look away) and she said "Hi, I don't know if you remember me but I'm Jas. Who is Dave the laugh?"

Flicky fringey, nod nod.

Rollo poked me and said "This is Dave the laugh."

Flicky flick on her fringe. (Why does she do that? It makes her look like a horse swatting flies with it's tail. I think Tom must really like it. It's like Dec with his obsession over stutters)

I said "Why?"

Jas said "Because my mate Georgia really rates you."

And then she smiled (she is actually quite a fit looking girl) and then walked back over to her mate. Then she pointed really obviously at me.

I shrugged (hopefully looking cool and sophis. Dec said I looked like I had fibreglass in my shirt – which is the most uncomfortable feeling known to mankind – but I like to think he is just jealous of my shrugging skills. That is what I like to think.)

I mouthed to Jas "Is that her?" and she nodded like one of those nodding dogs.

I thought Georgia was going to kill her.

11: 35 PM

Rollo and Dec went off with some of Jas's mates. They are all fit looking girls it has to be said. Especially Georgia. I have spent the last half hour just staring at them dancing. I'm too scared to go over at the moment though. That huge Swedish bloke is doing the funky chicken and his flares are everywhere. Honestly it is a safety hazard. Steve caught me staring at them and said "Dave, I hate to inform you of this but you are acting like a crazy stalker at the mo."

I said "What do you mean acting?" and gave him the cross eyed look.

He saluted and said "Ah most excellent" and then went off to boogie on down.

00.15 AM

Finally said hello. I trapped Georgia and Jas just outside the wazzarium and said "Hi!" Very good Dave! Nice and casual, not too weird.

I think at first she was a bit startled because she sort of sucked her nose in, but then she smiled a really nice half smile and said "Oh hi!"

I said "Are you Georgia?"

She said "Well I'm not the pope!"

3:10 AM

Sneaking into my room

Well I think that all went rather well. I danced with her and her mates quite a bit after I said hi. I even did the funky chicken with Sven, though I must admit was a little bit shocked when he picked me up and kissed me on the cheeks.

I said to him "oo er are you on the turn?"

He said "Ja you are my chicklet!" and then snogged the face of the girl with matching silver flares (Rosie I think. I have reason to believe she is not entirely normal)

We left the club together (no, not like that you cheeky cat) and I said in all my sophistication "Georgia, are you walking to the night bus stop?" She looked over at the band for about 5 seconds and then practically pissed herself laughing. I think it was a delayed reaction. I was a bit shocked actually. That joke is clearly more hilarious than I first thought.

When we reached the bus stop it was just me, Gee and Jas. I think Georgia had something in her eye because Tom's fellow vole lover decided to prod about in it. Unless that's just some sort of girlie ritual for saying good night to each other. It could be for all I know. They are like a different species. I have told that night bus joke to the guys and all I got each time was a groan and a whack on the head. The first time I tell it to a girl and she leaves a puddle on the floor. It's a bloody mystery.

Anyway my bus came and I said s'later to her. I even winked. I can only hope she didn't think I also had something in my eye. Then we would be a dodgy eye couple. We'd have to go on dates to spec savers. Still, I think she likes me. Life is good. I shall call her tomorrow after daily torture (school) is done!

1 minute later

Merde! I forgot to get her number!

So there you have it! The first ridiculously long chapter. Like I said if it's any good give me a sign and I'll do the next chappy (which will be their first dates and the red herring fandango)

S'laters for now :D