Disclaimer: I own neither. Phooey.

A/N: Another one that was originally part of As Deep as the Sky. The idea of that ficlet collection is that you put your music playlist on random and have to write a fanfic based on whatever song pops up, but you only have the duration of that song in which to write it. When this track came up I spent the first minute staring at the screen mouthing "What the f-" and wondering what I was supposed to do with it for YGO. Then the lyrics 'Pokèmon, you're my best friend' blared out of my speakers and the rest … just kind of fell into place (though I did go substantially over the time limit, hence this is separate than the other ficlets because it didn't conform to the rules). That said, this has got to be one of the weirdest fics I've ever written – right up there with that Naruto/My Little Pony crossover from last December.

Gotta Penalty Game 'Em All!

© Scribbler, August 2008

Pokèmon!
It's you and me.
I know it's my destiny!
Pokèmon!
You're my best friend,
In a world we must defend!
Pokèmon!
A heart so true;
Our courage will pull us through.
You teach me and I'll teach you:
Pokèmon!

-- From Pokémon Theme (Movie Version) by Billy Crawford

"So," said Honda, "in a perfect world, what do you reckon the perfect trainer would be like?"

It was a game, like the make-believe battle humans too young to be trainers played – and it was usually Honda who started it.

"A guy," Jounouchi replied in an instant. "No girls. Girls are crappy trainers." He yelped when Anzu whapped him on the head.

"As long as they're kind, it shouldn't matter whether it's a guy or a girl," she said, shifting from foot to foot and turning to attend to her tail. It'd fluffed up with nerves. It was adoption day, after all, and even after time and disappointment after disappointment they all still got nervous on adoption days. She carefully combed down her fur, but as soon as she turned back to Jounouchi it'd spiked out again. "It should be someone who knows when to push you and when to substitute you for someone else."

"That's no way to think!" Jounouchi cried, standing tall and swishing his own tail behind him. Since what wasn't on fire was covered in tough scales he didn't have to worry about fluffing it out, just setting things aflame. "Trainers are there to help you get better at battling. If they sub you, you'll never be able to kick any butt."

"I can kick plenty of butt, thank you," Anzu replied primly, adjusting her hat. She'd never relinquished it, even when she was sent away from Medical Training as 'unsuitable to requirements' because she adopted a tough love attitude that was more tough than loving. Her hat made her feel like she still belonged somewhere. "When I need to. And I think you'd better adjust that attitude of yours or you'll never get adopted. You're so aggressive; it's intimidating for inexperienced trainers, and that's the only kind who comes here."

"Yeah, the experienced ones know better," put in Honda.

"There's a reason we ended up here, you know," Anzu finished.

Jounouchi pouted, glaring up at the Abandoned Pokémon Adoption Centre sign above the door. "My old trainer was just a lightweight. I'm better off without him." He looked away as he said it, though, so Anzu knew he wasn't as blasé as he wanted them all to believe. It was never easy knowing your trainer had ditched you on purpose, not just lost you like Otogi's, or died like Ryou's.

Otogi's trainer eventually tracked him down and reclaimed him, and Ryou had been adopted out by some trainer called Bakura last week, but Anzu, Honda and Jounouchi were still waiting. They were the oldest residents of the centre now, and probably with good reason. Nobody wanted a fully evolved Blissey bossing them around, a Charmeleon with an attitude problem, or a Chimchar who refused to leaved without that Charmeleon. They'd developed a reputation of being a trio, and the other Pokémon kept away from them in case any potential trainers thought they were part of that group and adopted someone else instead.

Honda tipped his head to one side. "I hear people. Quick! Look adorable and adoptable!"

"Put a paper bag over your head, Jounouchi," Anzu sniped, ignoring the way he skinned his teeth at her, though she laughed when Honda forcibly closed his jaws and pulled his lips into a smile that was actually more of a grimace.

"I said look adorable, not vicious!"

"Ow! Lay off, you stupid monkey -"

"Yowch! You bit me!"

"Yeah, so?"

"I'll show you stupid monkey!"

"What does that even mean? Ow!"

"C'mere! Owowowowow!"

Anzu rolled her eyes and waded in to prise them apart. Her arms may have been short, but they were more than enough to deal with these two idiots. She'd had more than enough practise, after all. "Honestly, you two are ridiculous."

"Are they … meant to be fighting each other like that?" interrupted a voice they'd never heard before. It was speaking Human, which they all understood, but considering their current position it didn't inspire the feelings of joy it should've.

"Those three are, ah, difficult cases."

"Are those their files?"

"Yes."

"They look really heavy."

"They are. Now if you'll just come over here, we have a delightful Jigglypuff right over here. Or perhaps you'd be interested in the Glaceon it came in with. They're a pair whose trainer died quite unexpectedly, and had no family to speak of …"

Honda groaned. The centre worker was talking about Mokuba and Seto, who were both excellently trained pokémon any trainer would be lucky to have – not screw-ups like them. "There goes another opportunity for adoption."

Anzu dropped both him and Jounouchi and sighed in a way Blisseys weren't meant to sigh. Blisseys were mean to be happy all the time, but more and more these days she found it difficult to hoist her expression out of a sad frown.

To his credit, Jounouchi looked embarrassed at ruining their chances – again – and pushed his snout into her stubby little hand. It was his way of patting her to make her feel better, since the last time he tried to pat her normally he accidentally sliced her with his claws.

"Sorry, Anzu. I know you've been here longest of all of us."

"It's no big deal. I'm used to the place now."

"Still … sorry. It's always me who ends up messing up by fighting and junk. I just can't help myself. It's the way I'm wired -"

"Actually, could I have those three?" the human voice asked.

Honda turned slowly. "Guys. He'd pointing at us."

"No way!" Jounouchi bounded forward to see.

"Yes way. And he's looking at our files and still pointing. We're gonna be adopted!"

"All of us? Together?"

"Yes. It's a miracle!"

Anzu frowned and came forward to inspect the boy trainer, who didn't look old enough to have his first Pokémon, let alone three special cases like them. And what was up with his hair? He looked like he'd insulted an Electabuzz in the middle of a downpour.

Still, there was something in his eyes that made her heart leap. He had kind eyes, and when he looked at Honda, Jounouchi, and finally at her, she knew this was the type of trainer she'd always hoped for.

"Hello there," he said, leaning into their pen. "It's weird to see a Blissey without a Nurse Joy, but so much the better for me. You're really beautiful."

Anzu smiled. He had a nice voice, too. She touched his hand and giggled when he shook it like she was a person instead of a Pokémon.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Yuugi."

Fin.

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