Angel

Summary - Anthony visits the orphanage. Just a simple one shot about his feelings and thoughts. Set between the first CA & Full Throttle.

Disclaimer - I don't own the Thin Man, or any other Charlie's Angels character. This story however, is all mine.

A storm is raging outside as I silently enter the main hall at the orphanage. It doesn't frighten me, it never did, not even when I was a mere child. It reminds me of myself. Whenever it comes, death and destruction are never far away. I smile slightly, the sound of the wind and rain against the windows filling my senses. It is strangely soothing. It is music to my ears. I briefly close my eyes, letting out a soft breath before I feel the presence of someone else.

"Anthony, good to see you." Mother Superior greets me with a warm smile. I never liked the given name but whenever she says it, it feels and even sounds right. Just like she is always pleased to see me. I wonder why she has this much affection for me, when i'm always so distant and cold. I don't quite understand it. Quickly dismissing the confusing thoughts I nod and follow her into the sitting room. She knows why I am here.

"I suppose you want your haircut?" she asks, sitting down in one of the dark brown leather armchairs. I follow her lead and take a seat opposite her. I search my pockets for the notepad and pen I always carry with me. She regards me with a soft, but hopeful gaze and I know she wishes for me to speak. It saddens me to know that that event perhaps will never occur. I don't feel the need to express myself verbally, though it would make some things seemingly less difficult. After locating the pad and pen I frantically scribble down my response. For some reason i'm a bit on edge. Maybe it's because I will never get used to these 'feelings' I have for the old lady, this mother figure. She's the one who took me in, comforted me, supported me, even cared for me. Almost treating me like the son she never had. I grind my teeth in annoyance. Stupid, useless, damn emotions. There is no way around it. Mother Superior is the only one who comes even close to family. I never like to admit it, because somehow it feels as if i'm betraying my dead parents. After their death I decided not to trust anyone.. ever.. but she had come close, very close to breaking through that invisible wall of self protection. Maybe one day she would succeed.

I reach over and hand her the slip of paper. "Yes, the usual." She nods knowingly. One of the nuns comes over with some freshly made tea and puts it on the small table, before leaving the room quietly. "Would you like some? Maybe we can talk some more." I detect a pitch of sadness in her voice, which I try to ignore. "I really wish you would visit the orphanage more often. Don't get me wrong Anthony, you have been very generous but I do miss you here, as do the children." She offers me a cup and I accept, carefully taking a sip from the still very hot liquid. Part of me wishes I could visit more on a regular basis, but I can't. She doesn't know why and she can never find out either. I shrug and let the moment pass. After a few seconds she sighs and drops the subject. She knows I will never fully explain.

"How have you been?" Fairly good I guess, knowing that only a month ago I nearly died in an explosion, not that i'm going to tell her that. "I'm well." I write down on the small notepad before ripping the page off and sliding it across the table. She glances at the piece of paper and smiles a small, but genuine smile. "I'm glad. Everything's going well at the Orphanage too. Your contributions certainly help a lot."

It pleases me a great deal that i'm able to help the childeren. Little does she know it's all.. well, blood money. If she did, she would have most likely never accepted it. Atleast I know the money is used for good purposes. I nod my understanding and finish my tea. It's almost time for me to leave and I still have to get that haircut. There's also the disturbing feeling of something similar to guilt.. A feeling i'm not used to, nor does it take me by surprise. Here I am, drinking tea with Mother Superior in, dare I say, the presence of God? Here I am, a sinner, someone who has done so much wrong that it may never be right? The fact that I'm capable of feeling guilt, does that make me a better person? I like to think so. I know that she can see the inner battle i'm currently having but she fails to see the person I've become. No longer am I that awkward, lost, innocent seven year old boy that was in desperate need of guiding. I'm anything but innocent. That innocence I lost a long time ago when I first stuck a blade through someone's heart. I always went for a quick and clean kill. I never liked making a mess. I take a deep breath and tuck my pad and pen away before standing up, clutching a piece of my hair indicating I want my haircut. Mother Superior obliges and guides me into another room.

Not a word is spoken as she watches one of the younger nuns cut my hair. The young one is careful not to come too close, making it almost impossible for me to steal a lock of hair. Mother Superior must have told her about my fetish. I can't keep the scowl off my face. After it's done, the young woman exits the room, leaving the two of us alone again. I walk over to the mirror in the corner to check my appearance. Yes, just the way I like it. I turn around and nod my thanks. She knows I will not give more, so she will not ask for it. I grab my trench coat from the chair and with one last glance I make my way out. Not knowing if I will ever see her again, though there's a distinct feeling telling me otherwise.

As I walk through the hall towards the front doors I can feel her gaze on my back. Maybe she's wondering the exact same thing. I allow a small chuckle to escape my throat. I don't know why all of a sudden I feel this way, for all I know I can die any moment. But this reassuring presence around me seems to tell me a different story. What is it? Is it her? Mother Superior? It's such a strong feeling I almost want to spin around and search for the answers to these questions that seem to have popped up out of nowhere. Tightly grabbing the doorknob I try to sort out these strange feelings and thoughts. The sound of thunder notifies me of the still raging storm outside. I can't wait to get out and I open the door. A gush of wind catches me off guard and messes up my hair. Rain is pouring down heavily from the grey skies above. I welcome this sensation, a small smile playing on my lips. This is exactly what I need. I open up the umbrella and step out into the storm, a sense of peace coming over me. I don't even dare to question this, or look back, for part of me is scared to find something I am not quite ready for.

I know she is still watching me.

A pair of jet black wings could be seen, sparkling with raindrops. The appearance of hundreds of small diamonds. I smile at this wondrous sight. My eyes aren't deceiving me, not even in my old age. I have always known there was something special about this boy. I could feel it, sense it.

"Oh Anthony, an angel you are."

R&R.