This little darling is something my friend poked me into doing. She is highly odd. I tried to resist her, i really did, but she just wouldn't stop poking me! All in all there will be 10 of these chapters to suffer through, so bare with me.

An eye opening experience - Things not to do when drunk

The obnoxiously shrill alarm scratched into Naruto's head, making him wince in pain. 'What the hell is with that alarm?' He muttered in his head, opening one eye in irritation. He was faced with what looked like a dark red velvet curtain. He drowned. 'Kyu?' He called in his head, knowing the fox would have some explanation.

Yes kit? It asked, clearly smirking.

'What's going on? Someone changed my alarm clock. I liked the cow.' He thought, referring to the cow shaped alarm clock that would moo at him in the mornings.

Do you honestly not remember kit?

'Remember what?'

Take a moment to examine your own body kit. Naruto obeyed, looking down. As he looked, he realised three things in quick succession. The first thing he noticed was the arm slung around his waist. The second was that he was naked, save the sheet under said pale arm. The third was that he was in real deep shit right there.

'Shit, Kyu, what the hell do I do?' He thought desperately.

Find some red shoes and click your heels repeating' there's no place like home, there's no place like home'. Naruto frowned, seriously doubting whether that would work. Just stay there for now kit, chances are your bed mate will be of the same 'oh crap, what have I done?' view as you.

'Your right, I just have to wait until-' His mental rant was cut short by a small moan behind him.

"Morning." The man behind him murmured, kissing the frozen boys shoulder. When he didn't respond, the man put a hand on the just kissed shoulder and pushed Naruto onto his back.

'Double shit.' Naruto thought as he looked up into the smooth hansom face that was surrounded by long raven hair. 'I think I just slept with my best friends brother.'

"You look rather scared of me." Itachi said with a smirk, using a hand to brush stray locks of hair from Naruto's face.

"Uh…" Was all Naruto could force out of his mouth.

"I see you really were that drunk last night." He said in a tone as close to disappointment as a Uchiha would allow himself to produce.

"I…" Naruto tried again, but failed misberably.

You really must work on that talking thing kit. Kyuubi smirked.

"Here, allow me a reminder." Itachi smirked again, leaning down and connecting their lips. Naruto's eyes went wide in shock.

'WHAT THE HELL! I'M KISSING SASKUE'S OLDER BROTHER! THIS IS NOT MEANT TO HAPPEN!'

Oh calm down and enjoy it kit. He's not that bad at it. Naruto was frozen as Itachi pulled back.

"I apologise little Naru-kun." Itachi said softly, leaning down to kiss his neck. "But I have to go to work. There is a meeting I can't miss, but I would like you to meet me for lunch. Be outside the ANBU building at 1." Itachi's mouth was suddenly gone, as was Itachi himself. Naruto looked around in confusion, sure it wasn't possible for anyone to do that. In fact, there was no signs of the Uchiha ever being there, aside from the large bruise forming happily on Naruto's neck.

Right, well apparently he didn't share your views after all.

'He asked me to meet him for lunch…'

Well thanks Mr point out the obvious a lot, be sure to share you genius observations with me a lot more often. The Kyuubi snapped, voice dripping with sarcasm.

'What do I do?'

Tell him you don't want to be with him.

'Like break up with him?'

Exactly kit.

'Oh god, I've never broken up with anyone before!' Naruto was suddenly in panic. 'How do I do it?'

Let him down gently. Just say last night was a big mistake, and you really hope that you can still be friends. Naruto cringed at the classic line. Well you think of something! The fox huffed, tails flicking in irritation.

'I'll just say we cant see each other, and that I just cant deal with anything like that.' He nodded. 'Yeah, that's it…god this is not going to go well.'

Again, what wonderful observations you make.