Yo, guys! It's me and I'm back. I just got my new computer, a MacBook. Lol. It's so prettyful. I'm starting freshmen year in college this Monday, so I'll be busy in a whole new way, but I'll have some free-time too, with my computer at all times. Or so I hope. Aha. I was struck by inspiration. So here's a new little oneshot for you guys, as a present/gift. I've got a new computer. You get a new oneshot.

It's Loveless; It's Seimei-centric, featuring his thoughts on Ritsuka and their relationship. Hhm, as anyone who reads my stories should know, there's going to be some hinted yaoi, some incest, some questionable habits. It's nothing graphic or explicit. Just Seimei.

Alright, now. Spoiler Alert for people who haven't been keeping up with the manga. You've been forewarned. Don't bitch.

I have no claim on Loveless, though I'd love to.

Recommended Listening: "Stars" by: t.A.T.u

"Stars"

They say hindsight is twenty-twenty. Seimei, being perfect, had twenty-twenty vision for both the present and future and absolutely no need to re-examine his past. What was done was done, and done well. He crafted his path and walked it with poise, content that all was according to his perfect plan. What need had he for gods and Fate? They were supportive imaginings for weak minds. He was his own god, his own support.

And the world shook in fear of him.

No one challenged his authority--no one dared. Ritsu was a blind fool--now literally, as well as figuratively. Septimal Moon was, one by one, dying off. No need for them anymore. Of course, there was always Soubi to equal him, but broken and obedient as the pet he was meant to be, that Fighter would never raise a hand against him of his own will.

Maybe he was cruel; perhaps not. It was all a matter of perspective. He used Soubi, he used Nisei. It was in his nature to control, to manipulate. If he denied that, he would be a liar. They were dogs to him--dogs and rodents who scurried underfoot in their haste to please him, or stay out of his way. They did not exist at the same level as himself; they were not human. They were pests and experiments and were to be used as such.

On Earth, there lived only two humans worthy of the name. Two perfect individuals destined to be complimentary souls for all time.

Like twin points of light in the heavens; a binary-star system, each caught in the others gravitational field, pulling and pushing. They were intertwined, evolving and moving around and around. A dance in the sky. Fires burning down in perfect sequence until the end of time.

There could be no Seimei without Ritsuka; no Ritsuka without Seimei. It just wouldn't be allowed. Seimei would never allow such a thing. Ritsuka would never be without him; he would never abandon Ritsuka.

Many were quick to call him cruel, but could you really, when he loved absolutely? When he would very easily trade the lives of all those worthless millions for the single existence of one? Could you call him heartless, when his whole being was devoted to one love?

Perhaps they should call him beautifully cruel? There was a sonata of things inside that blackened void--and it was all for Ritsuka, every bit. All the love, the hate, the wonder and the sorrow. Betrayals, double-crosses; elation and trivial joys. He caused pain and brought simple pleasures, mixing them to take the sting from the wound. And sweet Ritsuka, too innocent to know any better, grew up on that traitor's brew. Grew to love it. Thought it was love.

Maybe he was right; perhaps he was not. It didn't really matter now, did it?

Seimei didn't discuss these things with anyone, though he suspected Nisei could guess at the barest truth of it. How could you invite someone in to discuss the very substance of your being--questionable, blackened, sapphire-brilliant--and expect them to understand the nature of you? It was impossible. What he had, he had with Ritsuka alone. No other could understand him. No other would ever truly try.

None could grasp the vast range of his varied shows of affection.

Young Ritsuka, eyes of violet alit with sorrow and giant tears. Onii-chan, my guppies died! I'm so sad!

Or maybe ...My teddy bear was broken!

Perhaps ...Onii-chan, I had a nightmare!

And then those thin, pale arms winding their way around his waist, Ritsuka's cheek pressed to that space just above his hip bone as the boy cried in his embrace. Hold me, onii-chan! Falling asleep with Ritsuka in his bed, in his arms. Slipping from consciousness to dreams, with Ritsuka murmuring peacefully beside him.

How to explain the sharing of pain? Everything he did to Ritsuka, he did for Ritsuka. It would be years before the boy would ever understand it, but Seimei had time and he could wait. What was one denial? Two? A hundred? Ritsuka might say he disapproved, but his eyes were windows to that innocent place inside him where a superstitious person might say his soul resided. Who knew? More importantly, who cared? Ritsuka was innocent still, in more ways than one. He disapproved of Seimei's action now, but that was only because he did not yet understand. Like his childhood; like every kiss and hug and gift Seimei ever gave him.

It was still too soon. But, the day would come.

Seimei escaped life, escaped the mundane. He faked his death, instigated a resurrection and returned to take revenge on those fools who dared cross him. Ritsu, the fool, got off easy--because he showed kindness to Ritsuka, where few others had. Soubi should count himself lucky; he only forced the man to his will where he could have ordered him to destroy himself. But that would have left Ritsuka alone against the enemies still to come, and that could not be allowed.

Seimei's enemies were Ritsuka's enemies, but that didn't mean he would allow them to so much as touch what was his. Ritsuka would be protected. Soubi would assure that, if nothing else.

He could almost see Ritsuka's pale, beautiful face in front of him again, eyes wide with disbelief and joy--and something else. Seimei could read the confusion, the hesitation--the inability to reconcile two warring impressions. He tried to show Ritsuka all of it--the very inside of what made Seimei himself--but it was too soon, always too soon. Ritsuka was so fragile. It needed to be slow-played rather than force-started. It was a miscalculation, but not a grave one.

"I still believe in you, Seimei! But even if you believe in someone, if you hurt or betray someone...it's still really bad!" Tears in his eyes, Ritsuka's small hands on his shoulders, holding him. Even in all the confusion and grief, Ritsuka still ached to have him back. It warmed Seimei even as the chill of disappointment settled in.

But this was Ritsuka, and Ritsuka was perfect for Seimei. He could understand. Seimei understood, too. It was too soon for young, innocent Ritsuka. Always, innocent Ritsuka.

"Ritsuka, it's fine if you think that way. I guess that's your answer, Ritsuka." He wanted to saw "for now", but held himself back. He didn't want to scare him. It wouldn't do to have Ritsuka fear him. Never that.

"I wasn't wrong. I..." Ritsuka's eyes closing briefly in thought, caught up in the intensity of their emotions. Two Sacrifices with a bond of their own. "I forgive you, Seimei! But I'm still mad at you for what you've done!"

Ah, the moment of truth. Forgiveness. Only Ritsuka would think to forgive someone who had no want or need of it. But, like Seimei's gifts to him were infusions of pain-pleasure and bitter-joy, Ritsuka could only give him sweetness, light and even, comically, forgiveness.

Seimei was willing to except those gifts from him, always, even if he felt no remorse for his actions. He could smile at Ritsuka and take those words, but only because they were from him. Things spoken by Ritsuka, to Seimei, were like word-spells all on their own.

But Soubi--stupid Soubi--seemed to slip in his obedience. Always, he was so submissive, but now, when Seimei would have wished for more time with Ritsuka, Soubi was here in the way.

"Seimei, please don't make Ritsuka suffer; don't make Ritsuka afraid."

It irked Seimei, deeply. How dare Soubi stand in his way? What did he know, really? Masochist that he was, he enjoyed pain just as dearly as Seimei enjoyed inflicting it. And what could he know of Ritsuka? How could he think to step between Seimei and his love?

"Ritsuka isn't afraid of me, like he is of you." It was the best of reprimands, because it was true. Where Soubi was perfectly obedient and friendly, his brand of pain-enjoyment was not familiar to Ritsuka. It was too overt, to obvious. He was raised in, under and around Seimei's particular brand of subtle pleasure-pain. Nothing else would ever make sense for the boy; Seimei had seen to that.

And where it had taken months for Ritsuka to learn to trust the non-hostile, obedient, friendly Soubi, he didn't hesitate at all to embrace the proven sadist and betrayer Seimei. Didn't that say it all, really?

Love. It lived in them, like glowing points of light trying to reach one another across the distance of a black-void galaxy. Maybe it was too far; maybe, not far enough. Of one thing though, there was absolute certainty.

As stars, they burned only for each other. All others...were cosmic debris on a solar wind. Worthless, useless...

...Forgotten in the inky blackness of infinite space, where they float, unbalanced by the Fate that only stars can rise above.

Smile. Hope ya' liked it. Please, swing by and leave me a comment. I don't do Loveless often, though I absolutely enjoy it. Review nicely and I might do more. Also, feel free to leave me a line on your favorite pairing for the fandom. I might write it for ya.

Lots of Love.

-erena.