The Madder Side

Fools Time

Let me taste your madder side and let's see who I become. Sirius and Harry's bonding time got a little out of hand. And now the press were camped outside, Molly Weasley wanted Sirius dead and the rest of the house wanted to know their every detail. Damn. SBHP, SLASH.

Fred gave the pair a hopeful smile as George muttered the counter-curse.

"So, no hard feelings?"

Sirius glared at him viciously. When he'd calmed down from the naked-in-the-kitchen debacle (and after they'd had sex), Sirius had felt embarrassed. He never felt embarrassed, and the few times it had happened, he'd hated it. The squirmy stomach, the blushing and the not wanting to ever leave your room ever again – he hated it.

Harry coughed. "Maybe you should come back later and apologise." He glanced at his lover. "Next week sometime is probably your best hope."

George opened his mouth to say something, and Fred quickly wrapped a hand across his twin's mouth.

"Will do, Harry," he said brightly and bolted for the door, dragging his brother with him. He saw the kamikaze look in Sirius' eye, and an angry Marauder was not something he wanted to tangle with at the present time.

Harry turned and looked at the other man as the door closed, chuckling to himself. Sirius sat with his arms crossed, glaring at the sheets and looking like a child who'd just been told he couldn't have a cookie for dinner.

"Sirius," he said with a smile. "It's okay. It was a stupid joke; they didn't mean to hurt us."

"I know that!" he snapped. "I'm... I'm embarrassed, okay?" he said with a pout. "I was too angry before to be embarrassed... but I was naked in the kitchen! And everyone else was in the kitchen too!"

Harry raised his eyebrows. Sirius was embarrassed and he wasn't? When did hell freeze over?

"Who cares? Most people have seen you naked before, Sirius. I was getting molested by Tonks while I was naked in the kitchen!" Harry paused, watching his lover scowl at his quilt cover. "Babe, it was embarrassing, I know. But they're our friends. They'll make a few jokes, have a laugh and that'll be the end of it," he said gently.

Sirius sighed. "I know," he said, finally looking at the other man. "I just hate being embarrassed. And I hate being on the receiving end of a prank, even though I dish it out."

Harry chuckled. "But just think how much shit the twins would've got in when we left the kitchen!"

Shaking his head, Sirius moaned. "I can't believe we did that!" he exclaimed, and began to laugh. "As if they wouldn't want to see us together though, we're hot. I'm sure Remus does anyway."

The pair collapsed into laughter, the Animagus finally relaxing and laying beside his lover. Harry rolled over and buried his head in the other man's chest, closing his eyes with a contented smile on his face. Now that Sirius was happy again, he could finally get some sleep.

When the pair finally arrived downstairs the next morning, no one made any jokes. There were a lot of smirks and blushes, and no one met their eyes, but not one person made a joke. It was disconcerting, really, and not at all what they'd been expecting.

Sirius cornered Remus after breakfast (Molly had given them both glares and burnt bacon - some things, at least, were normal) to demand what was going on. The werewolf had squeaked and nearly dropped the jar of coffee he'd been getting from the pantry when he turned around to find his friend blocking the doorway.

"Explain," Sirius said in a slightly exasperated voice.

Remus gave him a reproachful look. "Explain what? And don't sneak up on me like that! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Sirius growled. "Explain why no one has made any jokes yet. Why hasn't anyone paid us out?" he asked.

The other man's jaw dropped. "You haven't been paid out? I've been getting shit all morning!" he exclaimed indignantly. "That's not fair!"

The Animagus stared. "Bullshit. Why wouldn't they pay us out if they're teasing you?"

Remus narrowed his eyes. "Bastards," he growled, and pushed past his friend into the kitchen. "Why the fuck are you teasing me about yesterday and not Sirius or Harry?" he asked in annoyance.

Around the table, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Tonks, Mr. Weasley and Malfoy sat and stared at him. Draco and the twins had wicked smirks on their faces, and Hermione blushed and went back to her breakfast.

"Language, Remus!" snapped Molly from her position by the stove.

The werewolf didn't bother to reply. He was incensed. He was more than incensed - he was furious. Insanely furious.

"Why?" he continued, ignoring the sniggers. "Why do you people do these things to me? What have I done to deserve them? First I get dragged into the Sirius-Loves-Harry Saga, and then I get chased down the stairs by naked fiends, and then I get the shit paid out of me for it and they don't! What is wrong with you people?" he exclaimed, the frustration evident on his face.

"Well," replied Ron with a smirk. "Harry is the Chosen One, the Boy-Who-Lived, he killed Voldemort and he can be pretty scary sometimes. Sirius is a convicted mass murderer. Put them together and you get a fairly dangerous mix."

Remus' jaw dropped. "But I'm a werewolf for Merlin's sake! I could eat you if I wanted to!"

Fred shook his head. "Sorry mate. No comparison. Besides, we're on thin ice with the horny couple anyway."

"It wasn't even my fault!" he exclaimed, tone desperate.

Sirius whistled a happy tune from his spot on the kitchen counter, a grin on his face. "Oh Remmy-bear, maybe if you didn't come across as such a... pussy, people wouldn't tease you so much. You're gayer than field full of fairies with flowers."

"Argh! Like you can talk! You're actually dating a bloke! And you're as bad with your hair as Malfoy! And you own two pairs of leather pants!" Remus growled.

"Hey!" complained Draco. "For the last time, there is nothing gay about my hair! If we're talking gay, what about the way the Weasel follows Potter around like a lovesick pup?"

"Oi! I happen to have a very beautiful wife, Malfoy, and I do not follow Harry around!" Ron replied, outraged. "At least I don't rate other bloke's bums," he said with a pointed look at the twins.

George's mouth dropped open. "Research, you twerp! It's all in the name of research!"

"Oh, sure it is," Remus sniped. "And what type of research would that be?"

"Back off, Remmy-bear. Doesn't the wolf in you get annoyed you're such a soft cock all the time?" Fred growled back, coming to the defence of his brother.

Molly turned back to the stove and stirred her soup. If she ignored them for long enough, they'd all go away and turn back into normal human beings like they used to be.

"There are such things as beta wolves, you know. Remus can't help it, it's the way he was made," Draco cut in.

Remus sighed and turned his eyes heavenward. "I am not a beta wolf! Just because I choose not to be loud and annoying like the rest of the household doesn't mean I can't be tough!"

The arguing went on. From his spot on the kitchen counter, Sirius smiled at the chaos he had caused. Molly was ignoring them, Arthur was standing in between George and Ron trying to keep them apart and the rest of the room was talking loudly over one another. Even Hermione was joining in.

He pushed himself off the counter and sauntered out the door. While they were occupied, he might as well go and get some quality time with his favourite hero.

"Harry-bear!" called Sirius as he walked down the hall to his lover's room. He stuck his head inside the door, and Harry quirked an eyebrow at him from his spot sprawled across the bed.

"Harry-bear?" he asked with a grin.

Sirius shrugged. "Just trying it on, doll. Doll? Sweetums? Baby-cakes?"

Harry made a face. "Please no. They may not be paying us out about yesterday but I don't think they'll be so understanding if you start calling me baby-cakes."

The other man snickered and threw himself on the bed. "Speaking of that, do you know why they're not teasing us about it?" he paused, and Harry shook his head. "Apparently we're intimidating and scary, and so they're paying the shit out of Remus instead."

Harry snickered. "Poor Remmy. He really got hit with the shit stick this week didn't he?" he said with a grin.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Well... yeah," he replied and Harry rolled his eyes.

"It was a rhetorical question, babe."

The Animagus wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Well aren't we clever today, Mr Wordsmith," he replied snarkily, rolling away from his lover in mock annoyance.

Harry laughed and gave Sirius a gentle shove. "Alright!" he chuckled. "I'll bite. What happened?"

"Well," Sirius rolled back over with a grin. "I had Remus cornered in the pantry-" Harry raised an eyebrow. "And I asked him why no one was paying us out. Then he cracked the shits because apparently everyone'd been paying him out, and went and yelled at the whole kitchen. Then everyone got in a fight because Remus isn't scary, and practically everyone got called gay for one reason or another. They were still going when I left," he finished with a grin.

The other man stared. "So you went down there, started a fight and then left. Merlin, no wonder no one likes you."

Sirius grinned. "But you like me," he said with a wicked grin as he wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and pulled himself closer. "You like me a whole lot."

He rolled his eyes. "Merlin knows why, but I do. Maybe it's because you're just so damn sexy," he added, head tilted to the side as he pretended to consider it.

Sirius nodded seriously. "Probably," he said after a while. "That's why I like you so much."

Harry's smile widened. "Of course it is."

"For fuck's sake! If you could all just pay attention for one, bloody moment I would appreciate it!" Draco snapped impatiently.

Everyone paused, and the room turned to stare at him. Draco stood at the head of the kitchen table, wooden spoon in hand and the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place seated around him.

"Are you going to spank us for being naughty, Malfoy?" Fred asked with a smirk.

Draco rolled his eyes. "From what I've heard, Weasel, you enjoy that kind of thing. I, on the other hand, do not." He ignored the man's indignant splutters and continued. "I've called this meeting about Sirius and Harry and what they've done to this house."

Molly paused in the doorway to the kitchen. "Here here!" she called crossly and continued on her way.

"Anyway," Draco continued with an impatient look at the now empty doorway. "You've all gone mad. Their relationship shouldn't change anything for anyone but them," he added with a condescending look.

Ron raised his eyebrow. "Like you can talk, Malfoy."

"Yeah!" added Fred. "You threw the first plate of eggs!"

Draco sniffed. "Unlike you... plebeian creatures, I am not in the habit of engaging in food fights. The plate merely slipped from my grasp."

Hermione scoffed quietly in the corner.

"The point is," he said with a glare in her direction. "We all need to calm down and start acting like mature, responsible adults. I know you're all happy for them, so we should have the decency to not pay them out about the events of the past few days."

Remus coughed pointedly and everyone rolled their eyes.

"And we'll stop paying you out to, Remmy," Draco added in an exasperated voice. "Merlin's balls, when did I become the voice of reason of this bloody stupid household?"

Hermione grinned. "Possibly when you decided to play matchmaker," she said cheekily.

Draco recoiled as if burned from her words and everyone gasped.

"You- You set them up?" Tonks whispered in disbelief, eyes huge.

"No!" he snapped, sending Granger daggers.

"Yes!" cried Remus triumphantly, eyes alight with victory. "Malfoy is really a romantic at heart!"

The blond spluttered indignantly, unable to respond.

"Oh my god," said Ron, horrified. "You have a heart!"

"I do not! How dare you say such words?" Draco replied indignantly, the wild look of a cornered animal in his stormy eyes.

"He does, he does, he does," Remus sing-songed gleefully.

"Oh for fu- how old are you, werewolf?" the blond-haired man snapped. "I thought it would be amusing if they were together! That's it; I just thought it would be funny. And it was, so I was right and now they're all happy, lovey-dovey so it's all good. Okay?"

Fred coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'Romantic!', and George snickered next to him.

"Okay?" Draco bit out. The table smirked and nodded. "Right. Anyway, the point of this meeting before people-" he glared at Hermione, "butted in with irrelevant information, was that I was going to suggest we should do something nice for them as a couple to show them we're… supportive of their relationship. And probably show them we take them seriously as a couple."

Ginny gave him a glowing smile. "I think that it's a wonderful idea, Malf- Draco. Very decent of you. What about throwing a party for them? Just the Order, and a few other friends."

"We could have it in the garden," added Hermione. "It'd look fine with a few fairy lights."

"Fred and I could do some fireworks," George volunteered.

Ron sighed. "I s'pose I could ask Mum to do a cake and some food. She might have forgiven Sirius for being an evil paedophile by now."

Remus stared around the kitchen in shock, mouth open slightly. They were throwing them a party. They were throwing Sirius and Harry a party. They were throwing the two people who nearly got him killed by Molly Weasley, who chased him down the stairs while they were naked, who gave him a black eye and a cut lip and who did countless other cruel and inhumane things to him a party. What the fuck was wrong with his fucking life?

"Quiet!" Hermione hissed, waving her hand at the twins. She was standing by the back door of the kitchen, glaring in what she thought was the direction of Fred and George. The inhabitants of Grimmauld Place were standing around the garden, hidden from sight by disillusion charms.

The garden itself was illuminated by moving, floating fairy lights placed strategically around the backyard. A table was set up down the right side, laden with food and drink and a big banner with the words "We're Sorry" was stretched across the back fence.

From her position by the back door, Hermione could hear Sirius and Harry thump down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Where is everyone?" Harry asked, voice floating through the open kitchen window.

"Maybe they all died," Sirius sniped nastily and Hermione heard the fridge door open. Somewhere out in the garden, someone made a squawking noise. Probably Remus.

"There are lights on out in the garden!" Harry said in surprise and Hermione heard quick footsteps, followed by the sound of the door creaking open.

"Surprise!" everyone yelled, seemingly appearing out of thin air. Harry made a slightly girly yelping noise, the pair pulling their wands immediately.

"We're sorry," the group chorused, Molly grudgingly holding a large chocolate cake out in front of her.

Sirius clasped a hand to his heart, taking deep breaths. "Merlin's balls!" he exclaimed.

Harry cleared his throat awkwardly and placed his wand back in his pocket.

"Um. Wow. What a surprise," he began, looking slightly confused. "What's going on exactly?"

"Well," Hermione began; stepping out of the shadows by the door and making the pair jump again. "Malfoy thought we should do something for you guys to say sorry for all the... everything that's been happening. Ginny suggested we throw you guys kind of an... acceptance party I guess you'd call it."

Sirius' eyes narrowed. "Well gee, thanks ever so much," he drawled sarcastically. "An acceptance party, you hear that Harry? How fucking wonderful. They've been gracious enough to accept us."

Draco growled and stepped forward. "Don't be a twat Black, you know what we mean. Take the fucking apology so we can all drink ourselves into a stupor and pretend the past week never happened."

Sirius had his bitch-face on.

"Si," Harry said quietly, laying a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "They're making an effort."

Sirius sighed. "Fine. Fine, we accept your apology and we accept your acceptance. Happy?" he asked, turning to Harry.

The other man grinned. "Very."

Ginny smiled widely. "Great!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together and giving Malfoy a glowing look. He made a slightly disturbed face and quickly walked over to the table, grabbing the bottle of Firewhiskey and taking a swig.

"Come have cake," Hermione said and ushered them towards the table. In the background, Fred and George set off fireworks, bright stars exploding into the sky above the garden.

Sirius grabbed Harry's hand in his and squeezed. Harry squeezed back. It was all okay.

Remus glared into his drink. He sat by himself against the garden fence, moping loudly. Sure, they got a party as an apology. He was the victim in all this and he got stuck with decoration duty. Sirius really was, in reality, an awful best friend.

Tonks flopped down beside him, a grin on her face. Her hair was electric blue and spiky, her large eyes the same colour.

"'Lo Tonks," he mumbled, sighing loudly.

She rolled her eyes heavenward. "What's wrong, wolfy? You know, you're actually meant to have fun at a party."

Remus glared at her. "I know!" he snapped defensively.

"Oh Merlin," Tonks said in exasperation. "You know, I was going to ask Remus to dance tonight. Maybe grab his arse, hope for an invitation out to dinner, that sort of thing. I didn't realise he'd been replaced with his evil emo twin."

The man stared. "What?" he asked stupidly, amber eyes wide.

"See," she continued. "Harry isn't the only one I think has a really nice arse in this house. Emo Remus is a tad too depressing for me though, regardless of where his bum rates on a scale of one to ten. Can you give the real Remus a message when he gets back? Tell him that I'd love to go out to dinner with him when he returns."

She stood up, brushing the back of her bright purple dress off. "Let me know, yeah?" she winked and walked towards the refreshments table.

The werewolf gaped. Bloody hell.

And that's it! Story complete! This chapter is un-beta'd so if you find any mistakes, please let me know. Thankyou to everyone who stuck with this story, and I'm so sorry I took so long with this chapter! Please review and let me know what you thought of the story (it was silly, I know =P) and I know there were a lot of people who alerted and added this story to their favourites, so I'd love some feedback from you all! Thanks!

Lady Sarai Black