New Message

--

The outskirts of Midgar appeared to be lonelier than ever in the midst of the still dark night with nothing wavering in motion except for the gentle undulating waves from the shores below. A pair of brilliant Mako eyes watched the colorless water rise up and down before swiftly rolling on to the shorelines, smoothing out the sand and carrying small debris into the maw of the sea. The water was dirty and filled with remains from the ruins of Midgar, the city that created the first chapter of his journey, and ironically, it was also the city that concluded the final chapters of his arduous expedition. In the backdrop of the city, dark clouds swarmed together, banishing whatever sunrays that longed to reach past the black tendrils that loomed ominously over Midgar.

Cloud closed his eyes as a sudden rush of wind swept past him, forcing the tiny pellets on the ground to dance against his alcohol bottle that made small clanking sounds as they continued to be manipulated by the wind. He could taste and sense a big storm approaching, but he didn't want to leave. He had gone through Hell and back and a little rain was certainly not going to kill him. In fact, maybe being drenched in the rain could even help cleanse him in some figurative sense. He had tried his hardest to forget about the past and move on to the future, but no matter how hard he forced himself, he just couldn't release the guilt, sins, and mistakes plaguing his heart and soul.

He often found himself coming to this particular spot a lot. Cloud stole a quick glance at his buster sword beside him that was planted firmly into the ground. The blade gleamed brightly even though there was no light reflecting off its surface. His eyes traveled to the hilt of the sword and a slew of painful memories came rushing back to him. Another man who was far greater than him, a man who actually deserved this legendary weapon, once held the sword. Now, he was nothing but a mere memory and his sword was nothing but a little momento, a gift to Cloud to pass on his legacy to the world that would always remain blind to his accomplishments save for a few people who knew him personally.

Cloud picked up the bottle beside him and took a swig. He felt the liquid burning the back of his throat like acid as he relentlessly forced the content all the way down in a single gulp. Perhaps if he drowned in the alcohol, so would the painful memories that haunted him every day, whether it was in the wee hours of the morning or in the wake of the night. Often times, he felt himself slipping form the world and people around him no matter how hard he tried to grasp onto his existence. He always felt something, some invisible force tugging him to the edge of an abyss, and it would only take one final shove to send him falling into the darkness where he would eventually be consumed by his own demons.

And in his personal Hell, there would be no one to save him.

But, he didn't deserve to be saved anyway. Why would anyone want to save a monster?

Ever since peace was brought back to the Planet, he had distanced himself away from his friends for fear that his presence would put them in danger. He couldn't bear to lose another close friend, and if pushing himself away was going to prevent that from happening, then his loneliness was a small price to pay in exchange for their lives and happiness. Deep down he was scared. Everyone around him seemed to be happy and content with their friends and family, and he was afraid that if he were to be associated with them in anyway, he would end up robbing them of their joy. Darkness appeared to follow him wherever he went, and he didn't want the evil to spread to the people he cared about the most. However, as much as he wanted to, he just couldn't deny the fact that his biggest longings were to be accepted and loved. It was a double-edge sword, much like his existence.

But, in the end, it was his decision and he had to abide by his own choice. It would be best for him and for the ones he loved.

The wind started to pick up again and the gentle roll of the waves turned into angry ones, threatening to hungrily swallow up the entire shore in its rage. A brief streak of yellow light flashed among the gray clouds followed by the sound of crackling thunder. Cloud remained lifeless as he felt small droplets of water bouncing of his exposed skin and savored the cold sensation of the rain cooling his hot skin. He stood up from his kneeling position and touched the hilt of his sword gently before removing it from the ground with little effort. He slowly walked towards the edge of the cliff with his sword trailing lazily behind him in one hand with the harsh sound of the blade drilling into the earth with each step he took. He suddenly saw an image of his younger self struggling to carry the heavy sword with both his hands as he trekked through the foreign roads leading to Midgar after his best friend had lost his life to save him. Even though that felt like a lifetime ago, the emotions from that fateful day still felt as fresh as the sheet of rain landing on him. What made it hurt more was the fact that he was standing on the very same land that the tragic incident had occurred. He was standing on Zack's monument, except he was not with him this time. He was alone and the only thing he could offer his best friend were his tears and his eternal gratitude for giving him the chance to live his life, even though it was a life he didn't deserve.

Cloud came to an abrupt halt when he approached the very edge of the cliff. Another step would send him tumbling into the turbulent waves below, whisking him away to Death. Being this close to death gave him pensive thoughts, thoughts he knew he shouldn't be thinking of especially when he realized how others have sacrificed themselves just so he could continue living. If he could, he would gladly exchange his life for theirs again, but that was something even the "greatest hero" who saved the Planet couldn't even grant no matter how much he wanted to.

He felt a sudden low rumble against his thigh. At first he thought it was clothing billowing against him from the wind, but when the vibrations didn't stop, he realized his phone was ringing. He didn't even know why he bothered carrying his phone with him anymore. No one had called him recently and his phone only served as a connection to his friends, a connection that he needed to be severed. With a sigh, he flipped the cover of his phone and found a "New Message" sign.

Hey Cloud. It's me, Tifa. Happy Birthday! Come home soon!

He felt his heart jump a beat at the unexpected message. He checked the time of the message and realized it was sent five hours ago. Had he really been contemplating for that long? It certainly didn't feel like that. But, what surprised him the most was the fact that today was his birthday. He couldn't even remember the last time he celebrated his birthday. It simply felt like another ordinary day that made him wish he had never been born.

He didn't know whether or not he should text her back or give her a call. Instead, he stood motionless beneath the angry sky and stared blankly at his phone as rain trickled down his face, hair, and bare arms. He stared until the screen of his phone became blurry with water and the words could no longer be made out.

Even through the emerging heavy downpour, Cloud detected the faintest movement behind him when he heard the sound of his alcohol bottle tipping over. He instinctively tightened his grip on his hilt while quickly stealing a glance at the intruder from the corner of his eyes. However, even though he knew someone was behind him, he didn't get a threatening sense. It was a familiar presence, one that was warm, gentle, and loving. Cloud slowly felt his adrenaline rush ebbing as he let out a small sigh of relief. The firm grip on his hilt was released as well as he curtly answered without turning around, "How did you know I was here?"

Tifa flinched at his rather annoyed tone, but immediately pushed back the hint of hurt that was slowly forming on her face. "You come here a lot, Cloud…" she softly replied back with a smile even though he couldn't see it.

"I see…"

With a small defeated sigh, she hesitantly walked up behind him and placed a shaking hand on his shoulder. She assumed today was one of the days when he wasn't in his best mood. Sadly, he should be feeling happier since it was his birthday, but she had a feeling that he probably didn't even realize that. "Did you get my message?"

"Yeah, I just got it now. I didn't check my phone since you first sent it to me. Sorry." He tried to think of something else to say, but the words just wouldn't come to him. The silence felt awkward, but it wasn't necessarily uncomfortable. He already knew that Tifa understood him well enough to know that sometimes silence suited him the best.

"I've been waiting for you to come home." The alcohol bottle behind her rolled up beside her feet and she glared at it with a bothered look. The bottle was almost empty and she knew right away that he was trying to forget about his problems. With a light kick, she sent the bottle tumbling over the edge of the cliff and watched until it was swallowed up by the waves beneath her. She never wanted to see it again, and she never wanted to see Cloud drown in his sorrows again. "You don't need that," she reprimanded lightly with concern dominating her tone.

"I'm sorry if I worried you. I'll be fine," he replied rather shamefully with his head bowed.

"It's okay…just come home with me. I got something planned for you, for your birthday."

He turned around and saw her face radiating through the darkness around her. Her tender sweet smile widened as she reached out her arms and encircled his waist in a tight embrace. She leaned her head against his shoulder and gave him a hopeful look with her eyes before staring off into the distance. He instantly felt at ease from her touch and all his anger and disappointment from a few minutes ago melted away as she held him tighter. Here was someone who cared about him, loved him, and cherished him for who he was, even though he considered himself to be a failure. "What did you have planned?"

"Nothing too special. I made a nice dinner and the kids are waiting too. Most importantly, I just want to spend time with you, Cloud. I want to let you know that you're not alone and that you have…me…" The storm below was no match for the turbulent storm raging in Cloud's Mako eyes. They were so emotional and so full of life. Sometimes, his eyes would make her sad, and other times they would make her happy. She didn't need him to speak for she could tell what he was feeling at that very moment just by reading his eyes. She searched his endless blue depths and found a sense of contentment and comfort residing in him. All the previous pain he had caused her became worth it when she realized that he had found some sort of solace in the midst of his troubled self. "Come home, Cloud."

Home. He was still lucky he had a home and a family to go back to because he certainly didn't deserve the love he was getting right now.

"Come on…it looks like it's going to rain harder," Tifa warned. She placed a small kiss against the side of his neck, but she wanted to do so much more…

"Yeah, let's go…home…" Maybe this was the Planet's way of telling him that he had been forgiven for his sins, and waiting for him in his sanctuary were love and happiness. With his free hand, he placed it around Tifa's shoulders and led the way towards the path down the cliff. With the smallest hint of smile, he pressed his chin against her forehead and returned her affection by planting a small peck on her nose. "Thank you, Tifa. I don't know what I would do…or where I would be without you."

She was his family, his home, and quite possibly…his lover.

-Fin

Author's Notes: Just a small one-shot for Cloud's bday! 8/19/08! Thanks for reading and please leave a review!