Dis-of-the-claiming: I don't own Gravitation. Period.
A/N: This story is rated M to be safe, since I'm not sure if a lime deserves an M or T rating. Oh well, better safe than sorry. This story contains a lot of firsts; first Gravitation fic, first lime and first time writing in present tense. Hopefully I didn't slaughter it too bad, I tried my hardest. Well, enjoy!
The Bittersweet Taste of Other Boys on Your Lips
-
You get me out of the rain,
You get me out of the clothes,
Hope I don't make a sound,
Hope that nobody knows…
-
I breathe in and out slowly taking large gulps of air, trying desperately to control the loud sobs racking my body. I know I'm making a scene—I can feel people staring all around me—but I don't care. "How could you?" I scream, causing a few bystanders to flinch at my loud voice.
He just gives me that cold, hard look; not like that's anything new. "Look brat," he growls, leaning towards me so only I can hear his low voice, "Now's not the time. Can't you wait till we get home before you have your little tantrum?"
I feel like hitting him, but I don't. I know it won't do any good; I'm not strong enough to cause him any damage. The tears are flowing freely now and there's nothing I can do to stop them. I want to run, but I can't. Not yet anyway. I want to know why, why he can't just love me.
He narrows his eyes and grabs my arm, swiftly pulling me past the crowd of people that have started to gather. I can see the curiosity on their faces, drawn to the scene like it's a traffic accident, some hoping for a fight, others just itching for some drama in their otherwise mundane lives. I allow him to pull me, barely conscious of my immediate surroundings. "Why?" I manage to choke out between my sobs. "Why Yuki? Why?" Everything's a blur now except for his body pulling me along. "Why!?" I shout, louder this time.
He stops, as do I. I can tell he's angry this time, probably down right furious. He turns toward me, his eyes glowering. The eyes of a murderer, though not many people know that. Normally I'd shy away at such look, but not this time.
He pushes me hard and my back slams against the concrete wall of the building behind me. He keeps on advancing until his body has me pinned against the wall. He leans down till his face is inches from mine, but there's no intimacy in the position, only fury. He speaks slow and deliberate, his breath ghosting against my lips. "You want to know why so bad? Well I'll tell you why. I was bored."
That stung.
It wasn't like this was the first time Yuki had cheated on me. No, in the past month it had gotten worse and worse. He was always gone—out with his editor he would say—though not only did I suspect, but I was also told by numerous people that he was out with other women. I knew they were right, but I didn't want to believe it. I thought that he really loved me now. I couldn't understand what had gone wrong. At least all the other times he would come up with some plausible lie when I confronted him, but him being so blatantly obvious—it hurt worse then the lies.
"You were bored," I mutter, not wanting to meet his eyes, though that was impossible at our current proximity.
He smirks and each word he spits out stings more then the last. "I guess you haven't been very efficient lately Shuichi."
My eyes widen. The fact that he used my name is like a final blow to my heart and I feel myself breaking down and shattering into pieces. His words echo around my head like a bad song on repeat, stabbing me over and over again. I try to push away from him, desperate to get away. He let's me go and I can feel him watching me as I blindly run down the street.
It takes me awhile to figure out where I am, but soon I begin to recognize the buildings I'm passing. I keep running until I'm gasping for breath, the tears still blurring my vision. I wish Hiro was here, but he's off in Kyoto with Ayaka, so for the moment I have no where to go. I refuse to sink to the level of returning to my parents' house, I guess I still have that much self pride. Yuki never told me I couldn't go back to his apartment, but he didn't have to. There's no way I'm going back there, not this time.
Why did he have to say it like that? Why did he have to be so cold?
My lungs feel like they're on fire and I stop, heaving over and gasping for air to sooth my burning lungs. It's dark now and I spy a bench a few feet away. It seems like as good a place as any to rest.
I sit down and let myself break down completely as the situation fully washes over me. I still love him. That's the worst of it all; I still truly love him even after all those times he's cheated. Even today when I saw him outside that café locked in an embrace and making out with another guy of all people, I still fucking love him. Why am I so stupid?
I sigh, slumping further down on the cold metal bench wondering how much worse it could get. A rather cold breeze shifts though the night air striking my exposed arms and legs and a second later I feel the first drops of rain. I groan and as if on cue the downpour commences, soaking through my thin clothes in a matter of seconds. The few remaining people on the street scatter into nearby shops or continue walking at a quicker pace.
"I wish I had a sweater," I murmur to myself, wrapping my arms around my legs and curling into a ball in a pitiful attempt to keep warm. My head falls to rest on my knees and I close my eyes. Now that I'm calm, the feeling of loneliness begins to wash over me replacing all other emotions.
I don't know how long I sit there, curled up in a tiny ball just shivering, but when I do finally hear a voice, all my limbs are numb and cramped.
"Shuichi?"
The voice is questioning and I contemplate on raising my head to see who it is. It's a familiar voice, though at the moment I can't quite place who it is. Whoever it is decides on sitting down beside me. After a moment, curiosity overcomes me and I slowly raise my head. I gasp. "Sakuma-san, what are you doing here?"
He frowns as he takes in my miserable appearance—I know I must look awful sitting here soaked and my face is probably still blotchy from crying. Then suddenly his face lights up and he takes on his childish persona he always wears. "Me and Kuma got lost!" he grins, chewing on Kumagoro's ear. "Why are you here Shuichi-kun?"
"I…" I pause, not quite sure what to tell the famous vocalist. He probably doesn't want to know about my stupid problems, but what other excuse could I tell him for being out here? I worry my lip, stretching out my sore muscles before answering. "I guess I got lost too," I lie, faking a smile though I'm not quite sure if I succeed. Oh well, I'm sure Ryuichi won't notice anyway.
He grins and jumps to his feet, excitement practically radiating off him. "Let's go then Shu-kun!" he yells, grabbing my wrist and dragging me off the bench and onto my feet. "We'll find our way back together!"
"Sakuma-…" I start to protest, but he cuts me off pouting angrily.
"Geez, Shuichi-kun. Call me Ryuichi already. You're making me feel old," he complains, tears and rain water streaming down his face. "I'm not that old, am I?"
I wince trying not to sound as miserable as I feel. Even though I've known him for awhile now, I still can't get used to being so friendly with my former idol and obsession. "Of course you're not that old Saku… err Ryuichi-san."
He brightens up immediately, pulling me along at a break neck pace. His hand feels warm on my wrist and I don't bother to protest as he continues to pull me down the street, sloshing through the puddles. I don't feel right following my idol to his house—it just feels so strange—but I guess it's my only choice other then staying outside in the pouring rain.
We stop at the end of a street, Ryuichi humming one of his own songs. "Now which way do we go from here Kumagoro?" he says softly to himself, looking around thoughtfully.
I've never really given any thought to where Ryuichi lives, but I realize now that could be a problem. Not only did I have no where to go, but here I was with a guy relying on a stuffed animal to get him home. I sigh and reach for my cell to phone someone to pick Ryuichi up—I guess I'll just to a bar or something after all—but it wasn't in my pocket. Looks like I'd left it at Yuki's apartment. I cringe at the thought of Yuki. Hopefully Ryuichi didn't notice, but he appears to still be trying to figure out which direction to go. "Do you have a cell phone on you?" I ask him.
"Hmm…" he mumbles, his finger tapping his lip thoughtfully. Then, in a more then happy voice, "Nope, I left it at home."
I groan and I can't help but think 'Why me?'.
-
"When you said you were falling apart. I thought you meant you were falling apart."
-
Surprisingly, it doesn't take us that long to find his place. To be honest I was expecting something larger with him being so famous and all, but his apartment is an average size and in an average part of the city. Regardless, I sure am glad to see it. All second thoughts aside, I just want to get into some dry clothes, curl up and go to sleep. I can barely drag my feet up the stone steps, even with Ryuichi still dragging me along.
He unlocks the door and again I'm surprised to find the interior so neat and tidy. Ryuichi really is one big enigma. "Do you think I can borrow some dry clothes?" I ask him.
"Of course!" he exclaims and he quickly disappears down a hall which I presume leads to his bedroom. I quickly scan the main room and discover a black leather couch which looks all too inviting. Despite being wet, I slump over to it, too exhausted to care about ruining furniture. The moment my head hits the couch I feel myself drifting off…
"Shuichi!?"
"Wha-?" I yell, jumping up off the couch and scrambling to my feet in a daze.
"I've got the dry clothes," he replies.
I look over to see him already wearing dry jeans and no shirt, water droplets still running down his bare chest. I grab the clothes and mumble a thanks. "Where should I change?"
"You can change in the bathroom," he says, leading me over to a closed door.
"Thanks," I mumble again, entering the bathroom. I strip, putting on Ryuichi's clothes. They fit almost perfectly, just slightly too long as he's a little taller than me. I sigh softly. I was lucky that Ryuichi had practically dragged me straight to his apartment, insisting that I stay with him, this way I didn't have to explain anything. I don't think I can deal with explaining what happened so soon.
I leave the bathroom feeling slightly better now that I'm no longer dripping. "Ryuichi-san?" I question, looking around for the brunette. I spy his hair sticking up from in front of the couch. I hastily walk towards him, oppressing a massive yawn. "Where should I put my…" I trail off as I see the serious look clouding his features. It's a look I'm familiar with—one I've seen a million times on Nittle Grasper videos—that same look he has when on stage, so different from his normally naive expression. The same look that makes everyone who knows the vocalist question just how intelligent he really is.
His eyes gaze intensely into mine and I can't help but gulp. "Shuichi," his voice is soft, but it's lost all its child like quality. "Why are you so broken?"
My eyes widen and I'm completely frozen, not knowing what to do. There's not a coherent thought running through my head at the moment. "W-What?" I stutter.
His eyes narrow and he frowns, making him look almost angry. "What happened today?"
So he did notice, I'm more pathetic then I thought. My mouth falls open and I'm not sure how to respond. I'm not sure why I suddenly feel so sad from his simple questions, but I do. It's like a deep, penetrating feeling welling up inside me and I start to get that odd burning sensation at the back of my eyes telling me I'm about to start crying any second. It always happens, it seems inevitable with me. I go to take a step back, but suddenly Ryuichi's on his feet, holding me by my shoulders.
"You deserve better than him," he all but growls.
There's that feeling again and this time the water works start rolling. I have no idea how—or even if—Ryuichi knows what happened, but either way, his statement hit the mark. Since Hiro's not here, Ryuichi will have to suffice.
Without thinking I fling my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook of his neck. I feel his warm arms wrap tightly around me like they're all that's keeping me together. It's weird because thinking back to little over a year ago—before I met Yuki—I would have traded anything for a moment like this. Back then, it didn't even seem plausible yet alone realistic that I'd even get a chance to speak to my idol. Yet here I am in his apartment, in this position, but it only feels depressing.
I step closer to him, clinging to him tighter, my whole body pressing against his. "Why can't he love me?" I whisper into his skin.
One of his hands remains on the small of my back while the other reaches up and strokes my hair sending a tingling sensation down my spine. It feels just as strange as it does comforting. "I don't know Shu," he says, his voice serious yet soft, "But you deserve so much better. Someone who will love you, someone who won't hurt you so much."
His reply sounds so much like something Hiro would say, it's uncanny really. But then he does something Hiro has never done. He tilts my head up slightly, softly pressing his lips against mine. My eyes are wide in shock and I immediately stiffen, my heart rate increasing tenfold.
My first impression is to push away, because this is oh so wrong. This isn't supposed to be happening, but I don't because it doesn't feel entirely unpleasant. No, it feels good, if not a little different. His lips are softer then Yuki's more subtle. With a little uncertainty, my eyes close and I kiss back deepening the kiss, my thoughts still racing a million miles per hour.
Our lips move together, hesitant still and my hands move from his neck to tangle in his soft brown hair. Finally, he pulls back and my eyes flutter open. His eyes gaze into mine, my uncertainty reflecting in his own expression. I know he's asking an unspoken question, but I'm not sure how to answer it. Do I really want to do this?
What I was doing was cheating, wasn't it?
But wait! Wasn't Yuki the one who was cheating in the first place? He was screwing around with countless other people, so why should it matter to me? If he wasn't going to play fair, why should I?
I nod slowly, giving Ryuichi permission. He doesn't waste a moment as he pulls my face toward his own, crushing our lips together. This kiss is completely different, much more demanding and needy. I find myself growing dizzy in the heat of it. As if reading my thoughts, he breaks away for a moment pushing me down onto the couch. He straddles me, sitting on my hips. His lips find mine yet again—hot and needy.
I'm an addict already.
His tongue slips from between his lips, running over mine making me moan softly and also granting him entrance. His tongue slips between my teeth, greedily exploring every inch of my mouth. I trail my hands through his hair, continuing down his bare back and finally I let them rest on his butt giving a quick squeeze. He squirms slightly, grinding against my hips sending a wave of pleasure coursing through my body from the friction at my groin. I moan loudly into our kiss. I feel him smirk against my lips.
He pulls away, panting just as loud as I am. "You… like that… Shuichi?" he gasps out.
I can't help but nod. I definitely like this side of Ryuichi. He sits back on my hips and gives another experimental rock. I gasp as pleasure courses through my whole body.
His hands grab my shirt and I sit up, allowing him to pull it over my head. His lips find mine again and I kiss back eagerly. I pull him closer, longing for more contact. I love the feeling of his skin hot against mine. His lips leave mine, traveling downward to my neck. His tongue travels the length of my collarbone and I gasp as his teeth sink into my neck, leaving a mark I'm sure. Maybe I'll feel guilty in the morning, but not right now.
His tongue moves lower, pausing to run over both my nipples before continuing right down to my navel, leaving a trail of liquid fire. My nails scrape down his back and I continue to gasp and pant as he keeps teasing me, biting both my hip bones. I'm painfully hard now, my erection straining against my jeans. I can feel Ryuichi's too, poking against my thigh.
I whine as he pulls his head back, shifting his weight so I lose all contact. He grins seeing my sad expression and places one chaste kiss on my lips before moving down to undo the button of my jeans, holding my gaze the whole time. I guess he expects me to protest, but I've gone way too far for that.
"Ryu…" I whimper, still breathless. His hands retreat and I quickly shake my head. "More."
He smiles and unzips my pants, pulling them down till I'm clad only in my boxers. My heart's beating so fast in my chest and I move to unbutton his pants, but he swiftly grabs my wrists holding them down. "No," he mutters.
Confusion washes over me and I can't help but feel hurt. He sees my expression and sighs. "This is only for you tonight," he says softly, kissing me again, but pulling away before I can respond. Then in one fluent motion, he removes my boxers, exposing me.
He stares at it for a moment before lowering his head until his breath it ghosting over it, sending shivers up my spine. I want to scream at him to hurry up, but I'm way to breathless to do that. Finally he gives an experimental lick. I gasp my hands moving to his head, entangling in his hair. "Ryu," I groan.
At last, his mouth descends on my member, enveloping it in heat. The feeling is of utter bliss and I moan loudly. He moves, slowly picking up the pace, his tongue swirling around. His nails dig into my hips, keeping them from bucking and my fingers fist his hair, pulling him up and down, trying to make him move faster.
The feeling of pleasure builds more and more until I don't think I can take it anymore. "Ryu!" I almost scream and impossibly he picks up the pace. I gasp and cum, shivering uncontrollably. He pulls away, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.
We sit there for another moment—our limbs entangled—until he sits up and then stands. I sit up too. "What about you?" I ask, as I notice his erection still straining against his pants. I feel kind of bad. Ryuichi didn't get anything out of the situation.
He just shakes his head. "Get some sleep Shu."
I lay back down and I hear him walk away. It's silent and I yawn, suddenly remembering just how tired I was not so long ago, my eyes abruptly feel like dead weights. Yawning again, I roll over shutting my eyes. I'll think about all this in the morning.
-
You get me out of the rain,
You get me out of my clothes,
Hope I don't make a sound,
Hope that nobody knows…
-
I wake up to the soft sound of music. A familiar song it seems. It takes me a moment to realize it's my own—The Rage Beat. I blink groggily, rubbing my eyes. Where am I? I look around at an unfamiliar scene—someone's bedroom? It seems likely as I'm currently sprawled across a rather large four poster bed.
I sit up, my feet dangling over the side of the bed. Wait! I freeze as last night's events come pouring back to me. I must be in Ryuichi's room! I look down and see that I'm fully clothes and well… rather clean. How did that happen, didn't I go straight to sleep… and on the couch at that?
I stand, dashing over to the door and flinging it open. I run down the hall and come to a stop in the main room as I spy Ryuichi sitting on the floor. He looks up, surprised. "Shuichi-kun, you're awake!"
I nod.
He grins, jumping to his feet. "Come on! Me and Kuma have been waiting for you! Let's go draw!" he squeals, running over to me and grabbing my arm before I can even blink. He pulls me back over to the floor and proceeds to continue his drawing.
My mind reels. Last night he had been so different, so serious and well… hot. Yet here he was acting like nothing had happened… like normal. Confusion washes over me. Last night did happen, right? I'm beginning to seriously doubt my memory when, "What's wrong Shuichi-kun? Don't you feel like playing?"
I frown, taking in his face—only child like innocence surrounding it. "What happened last night?" I ask him.
"Welllllll," he says, stretching out the 'l'. "You and me were both lost, but we decided to come back together and then we came here and-…"
I cut him off. "I know that, but what did we do here?" I can't help but blush.
"Oh," he says, looking down at the floor now. "I'm sorry."
His words ring around my head. That is all I need to hear, that's as good as a confirmation. Last night's events come back clearer then ever. I smile he's still not looking at me. I guess he really is sorry about what he did, who knows how his mind works. I'm not though.
Before anything else can be said, I crawl into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. "Shuichi?" he mumbles, confused.
I just smile. "I want to repay you for last night." With that, I tilt my head up, softly placing a kiss on his lips.
-
A/N: EWWWW! I feel impure; I can't believe I wrote something like that. Gah, I don't think I'm going to write anything M rated again for a very long time. :Shudders: I hope I didn't make anyone too OOC, especially Ryuichi, I find his character very hard to write. So, drop in a review if you want. I'd definitely appreciate some helpful comments on this one. Oh and Sam, if you laughed during that part I swear I'll kill you.