Disclaimer:
I don't own the History Boys, Alan Bennett does. If I did
own it, Posner would have gotten more than a hug – which is the
whole point of these.
This set: Mostly Dakin's POV
1 –
Walking
Stuart was strolling through one of the many green spaces
in London on his lunch break, with the general feeling of apathy he'd
had since leaving Sheffield five years ago, when he tripped over a
foot stuck in his path; normally he'd ignore this and continue, but
the sheepish yet unrepentant expression on Posner's - and what was
Posner doing there anyway - face made him pause...before
smacking the other man on the shoulder and dragging him into an
embrace.
2 –
Waltz
Dakin wondered absently if Hector had been smoking
something and the fumes had permeated the room, or if he was going
mad, or if there had been something in the water at lunch, but
Scripps was playing the piano and Crowther and Rudge were tapping out
a drumbeat and Timms, Lockwood and Akthar were humming and it just
seemed perfectly natural to turn to Posner and sweep him into a
dance, and quite honestly, the shockedhopefulhappy expression on the
younger boy's face was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen.
3 –
Wishes
'If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride'
Posner had said once, when the boys were talking about hopes and
dreams and plans for the future, for Oxbridge, before pulling out his
walkman and jamming the headphones on his head, and it's only
later, when he's lying in bed after getting rat-arsed(1) with Rudge
after Oxford creamed Cambridge at the boat race, when this memory
floats across his conscious mind, and he realises that Posner stopped
wishing a long time ago and it was all his fault.
4 –
Wonder
Dakin would often wonder what it would be like to actually
kiss Posner…but he would choose not to do anything in case it
ruined everything.
5 –
Worry
It was only when a puzzled looking Posner opened the door
that Dakin really realised that he'd just got a train to Cambridge
for no other reason than he hadn't seen the other boy in over a
week and was going out of his mind imagining all the things
that could have happened to him in that time while he wasn't there;
the look on Posner's face when he told him this made it all
worthwhile.
6 –
Whimsy
On reflection, Dakin thought as he prodded the growing
bruise on his jaw, telling the boy who was halfway in love with him
that the only reason he'd kissed the boy was because of a flight of
fancy was a bad idea; though it was a very enjoyable kiss, and maybe
Posner would let him do it again..?
7 –
Waste/Wasteland
It was upon remembering Hector's comment that
they now have field trips to visit concentration camps that prompted
the boys to go; the desolation combined with the still lingering
despair got to them all, but it was Posner's whispered "my
grandfather might be here" that caused Dakin's chest to ache.
8 –
Whiskey and Rum
Posner was going to kill him in the morning,
Dakin thought, but plying him with whiskey when they got home from
the cinema in order to see who he'd impersonate was just too much
fun, especially as he was currently staggering round the living room
looking mournfully at an empty rum bottle he'd dug out from
somewhere. (2)
9 –
War
Stuart didn't know what was more poignant, the image of
the wall coming down and the people of Germany celebrating, or David
clutching his hand and muttering 'finally, finally it's
over, they can rest now.'
10 –
Weddings
Dakin was listening to Scripps ramble on about his
engagement and what his fiancé was like and the plans for the
wedding – Dakin had realised this would take a while so had managed
to find a book – when Scripps suggested Dakin finally get married
and settle down, as it was now only him and Posner left that weren't;
Posner chose this moment to come in from the garden, and a
mischievous grin spread across his face as he said "The only reason
for that is because we can't decide which of us is wearing white,"
and Dakin cracked up at the expression on Scripps' face.
11 –
Birthday
Dakin was going to kill Scripps for remembering Posner
was gay and organising the party-thing at a pub that didn't care
about preference, because Posner had spent the last hour and a
half dancing with several different blokes and Dakin was not
amused; at this point Lockwood rolled his eyes, dragged Dakin to the
dance floor and shoved him at Posner, who looped an arm around his
waist and dragged him close and Dakin couldn't find it in him to be
pissed off at Lockwood.
12 –
Blessing
Dakin had gone down to Cambridge for the weekend, and he
and Posner were wandering round the park when they stumbled across
Irwin on a break from filming (the film crew were eating fish and
chips); Irwin took one look at them both, turned to Dakin and said
"It took you long enough,", causing Dakin to groan and Posner to
smile at their ex-teacher's odd way of approving.
13 –
Bias
For a laugh, Timms decided to ask Posner which of the boys
was the most good looking; Posner raised an eyebrow and said "It's
no good asking me, I'm biased," which made Dakin oddly pleased.
14 –
Burning
Dakin had been lying in bed for about 8 hours by the time
Scripps ushered Posner in, along with the statement "he's driving
us mad, you deal with him,"; Posner took one look at Dakin, placed
a hand on his forehead, winced, left the room and came back with a
cold compress and some paracetamol, causing Dakin to proclaim him an
'angel of mercy' and hug him.
15 –
Breathing
Dakin was a perfectly normal teenage boy, he tolerated
school and he liked hanging out with his friends and he liked girls –
and, ok, he occasionally liked guys as well, but he never did
anything and besides, all the ones that had caught his attention were
older, so that was alright – and those moments where he forgot to
breathe when Posner was laughing properly, or looked like his world
was crumbling, or was looking at him so earnestly or....well, that
was just coincidence and nothing to do with the boy himself.
16 –
Breaking
Dakin had been bothered by the other boy for so long –
not overtly, but he was always there, hovering, and it got really
annoying – that he finally snapped and drove Posner off; he didn't
expect the wrenching he felt in his chest as he watched the other boy
run off after swearing to never see him again however.
17 –
Belief
Dakin knew he was falling when he started spending his
Saturday mornings sat outside the synagogue, waiting for Posner, and
trying to pick his voice out of the many when the hymns were being
sung; he knew he had fallen completely the first time he stuck around
to actually greet Posner, instead of leaving when he came out, and
did so in Hebrew.
18 –
Balloon
The boys had gone to a fair, and immediately all the
others had run off, not realising until lunchtime that they'd left
Posner behind; it was Dakin that found him, curled up under a tree
with a book of poetry he'd bought from a second-hand stall; Dakin
hesitated, before plonking down next to Posner, shoving the balloon
he'd won at him and mumbling out an apology.
19 –
Balcony
Dakin wasn't quite sure whether to thank or hurt Hector
for making them perform the Balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet;
he'd been told to read Romeo and, as Posner was they only one
consistently good at playing female roles (meaning he didn't burst
into giggles every five minutes) he'd been cast as Juliet; which
led to Dakin's dilemma – he was acting out a love scene
with Posner, however, the other boy looked quite pretty when
he was fluttering his eyelashes like that.
20 –
Bane
Dungeons and Dragons, Dakin decided, could go jump
off a cliff and die; Scripps finally persuaded him into inviting
Posner out for a drink, and Posner turned him down as he'd already
arranged to go to a role-playing session run by one of the boys from
synagogue, maybe another time – Dakin was not used to being
rejected, let alone by Posner, and he did not
like it.
21 –
Quiet
Dakin had learnt very early on to start worrying when
Posner went quiet, as it meant he was thinking – and ok, sometimes
he'd come out with something fun or profound, but generally it was
just....weird.
22 –
Quirks
Stuart had to have the bathroom shelf lined up a
certain way, and David threw a fit if his books weren't in
alphabetical chronological order; but despite their irritating little
habits, they managed to live together quite well in Stuart's
opinion, he knew that Jimmy at least had bet they'd have killed
each other by now.
23 –
Question
David was biting his lip and shifting from foot to foot
and for all the world looking like the awkward 14 year old who
confessed and confided in him before girls and exams and uni got in
the way; and Stuart smiled and laughed and said "Why not?"
24 –
Quarrel
They had been arguing for the last half hour, in the
middle of the street, neither boy giving any ground to the other, and
it was starting to annoy Dakin as they were right outside his window,
which he couldn't close because then he would melt – Posner
solved this problem by filling up a bucket of water and threatening
to throw it at them if they didn't 'shut the fuck up now and take
their gay domestic elsewhere' and really, Dakin had to laugh (even
if it meant Posner threw the water at him instead).
25 –
Quitting
Dakin stared, dumbfounded, before saying, "You can't
just give up, if you give up I don't know what I'll do, I'm too
used to you being there!"
26 –
Jump
The most disconcerting thing about Posner, Dakin had found,
was his tendency to climb high things like walls and trees and their
ilk, with no thought as to the minor heart attacks he caused when he
hurled himself off them with apparent disregard to his safety, and no
warning.
27 –
Jester
Dakin had organised a sleepover, one last night of being
as childish as possible before going off into the big wild world of
university, and, of course, the felt tips and camera had come out as
soon as the first person dozed off, unfortunately, this happened to
be Posner and Dakin himself; however, Dakin's appreciation for the
smaller boy grew greatly when Posner woke him up in order to get
their revenge with sharpie markers – it grew even more when he
walked past a mirror and realised that he had 'property of Pos'
written on his forehead, which Posner had failed to point out – so
much, in fact, that he decided to leave it there.
28 –
Jousting
David walked into the room just in time to see Stuart
and Jimmy charge at each other with broom handles – needless to
say, injuries ensued, and David had to patch them up; upon
questioning, neither would admit to why they were trying to kill each
other, but the smug look that crossed Stuart's face when David
pressed a kiss to his hairline gave him an idea.
29 –
Jewel
Stuart tossed the little plastic ring in his hand a little,
before throwing at David's head, accompanied by "You're mine,
remember that."
30 –
Just
It figured, Stuart thought, walking down the street, that
when he finally got over himself enough to give David a chance, the
younger man had found someone else; but then he heard running behind
him and there was a tugging on his arm and he turned round to be met
with a searing kiss and "You didn't really think I'd pick
someone over you, did you?"
31 –
Smirk
Dakin gulped as a devious smirk crossed Posner's face, he
had just enough time to blink a couple of times before his lap was
filled with warm teenage boy – who was wiggling and that
just wasn't fair – and Posner had the gall to look
innocent about what he was doing while apologising but 'the
ground's wet' – which it was not, it was mildly damp at
most – and then he wiggled, again – and
Dakin gave in and dropped his head on Posner's shoulder and put an
arm round him and muttered 'you're an arsehole' and Posner
laughed –and damn him for it – but Dakin couldn't help
but grin.
32 –
Sorrow
Posner stood there staring at them with a empty look on
his face, and Dakin felt the first twistings of guilt inside his
stomach and reached out to touch Posner's shoulder; but Posner
twisted away – away from him, he'd never done that
before – and walked off, away, to someone else that wasn't him or
one of their group and it hurt, it hurt so much and it
was all Dakin could do not to cry as he knew they'd fucked
up so badly this time and they may not be able to set it
right.
33 –
Stupidity
They'd been dancing for about close to an hour by
Dakin's reckoning – purely by the force of his glare scaring
anyone else off – before either of them actually said anything;
Dakin was prompted to do so when Posner raised an eyebrow, causing
Dakin to sigh and drop his forehead to rest on Posner's, before
muttering "I'm an idiot", which caused Posner to smile a slow,
happy smile and whisper "Yeah, but you're mine" and really,
Dakin couldn't disagree.
34 –
Serenade
After Dakin had finally stopped being an ass and
realised what had been in front of him all this time, he asked Posner
if he'd sing 'Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered' for him
again; Posner smacked him with a nearby pillow and told him he had no
desire to relive one of the most mortifying moments of his existence
and if he wanted it sung that badly, he could sing it himself...so
Dakin did, looking at Posner the entire time.
35 –
Sarcasm
For years, the general consensus was that Posner didn't
have much in the way of a sense of humour, it's only with the
combined benefit of hindsight and prolonged exposure that Dakin
realised that this wasn't the case; Posner had a wickedly sharp wit
which manifested itself in sarcasm – which Posner was very good at,
so much so that you couldn't tell he was using it – which meant
he was often in hysterics while everyone else was trying to work out
what the hell the Jewish man just said that was so funny.
36 –
Sordid
Akthar rolled his eyes at the others "Oh, leave them
alone, if they want to be secretive let them; it's not like Dakin
and Posner are having some sort of sordid affair..." he was
interrupted by Posner and Dakin exchanging money while grinning
"...you two are having a sordid affair, aren't you?"
37 –
Soliloquy
Posner, when speaking on something he particularly
enjoyed or was passionate about, would often begin rambling and go
off on tangents until he'd forgotten what he was originally talking
about and he'd trail off, embarrassed, which is when Dakin would
nudge him with whichever body part was nearest (on one occasion this
turned out to be his nose – Scripps still hasn't shut up about
this), suggest a new topic, and watch it happen all over again
because frankly, he found it adorable.
38 –
Sojourn
Stuart lay staring at the ceiling for a while, before
saying "You know, this was only meant to be temporary," before he
was silenced with a kiss and a sleepy "I'm sure," from David.
39 –
Share
Dakin stormed into Posner's flat (scaring the hell out of
him) and demanded that the younger man stop going to 'those damn
clubs and flirting'; when Posner manage to calm down enough to ask
why, Dakin said "Because I never was any good at sharing," before
pulling him into a bruising kiss.
40 –
Solitary
The thing that had never occurred to Dakin was that they
were doing the Oxbridge exams, not the Oxford or Cambridge
exams; they'd been together as a group for so long, it had never
occurred to him that they could be separated, so, after they'd all
calmed down a bit post-acceptance party, he was sure that the status
quo would be preserved as the call of 'Oxford!' went round the
group...until it got to Posner, who said 'Cambridge' with this
sad little half-smile, and Dakin felt something in his chest
shatter completely.
41 –
Nowhere
It was not the most romantic of moments – especially
with 'Nowhere Man' by the Beatles playing in the background –
but it was this moment, with Timms and Lockwood doing
increasingly bad impressions, egged on by Crowther and Akthar, and
with Posner in absolute hysterics next to him – to the point that
the younger boy was clinging to his arm in order to keep from falling
off his chair – that he realised that yes, he was in fact in love
with David Posner; now all he had to do was tell him...
42 –
Neutral
Dakin had been indifferent to Posner for so long – his
opinion was that if the Jewish boy wanted to follow him, that was
fine, as long as he wasn't annoying about it – therefore he was
not prepared to bump into the man in a club, dressed in impossibly
tight jeans, and apparently oblivious to his presence; but that was
alright, he'd got Dakin's attention now, and he'd always liked
a challenge.
43 –
Nuance
Posner wasn't a touchy-feely person – most of the
time, there were occasions where he just had to hug someone –
but Dakin had become very good at reading the boy's body language,
and so therefore knew exactly when the other boy needed a hand on his
shoulder or a squeeze on the back of the neck or a hug or whatever,
and he never failed to dispense them, regardless of where they were.
44 –
Near
It was weird, Dakin decided, not having Posner randomly pop
up at his back or side, and it shocked – and slightly shamed –
him to realise how much of a part the younger boy had in his life,
so, could he have him back please?
45 –
Natural
Dakin liked a challenge – Fiona, she was the school
secretary; Irwin, well he was a teacher, the ultimate prize really –
so it was only natural that, when Posner finally gave up and started
moving on, Dakin would choose to start chasing him.
46 –
Horizon
Dakin had never really seen the appeal in sunsets –
sunrises, yes, the beginning of a new day symbolising a new start,
etcetera – but he couldn't understand why people made such a fuss
about the sun going down; that is, he did until he saw the orange
glow casting a halo around Posner's hair.
47 –
Valiant
He'd put up a good fight, Dakin decided, rebuffing the
younger man's advances, but there's only so many times you can
say no to the kicked puppy look before giving in – which was why he
was now curled up on a couch with Posner.
48 –
Virtuous
The thing with Posner was, that because he'd been so
hung up on Dakin for so long, he'd never really done anything
before, which meant that when Dakin finally did deign to give him a
chance, he had to pretty much start from scratch with the fair-haired
boy – however, there was much to be said for enthusiasm.
49 –
Victory
Dakin had come down to Cambridge with the other lads who
had ended up at Oxford to celebrate Lockwood's birthday, where the
boy in question pointed out 'Pos and his new bloke, he's not
mooning over you anymore, great, hey?' Dakin did indeed toast this,
but felt, on the whole, that it was a rather hollow victory.
50 –
Defeat
Upon informing Scripps that he'd agreed to go out for a
drink with Posner, the other man told him that it'd taken 3 years,
8 months, and 27 days to give in since the first time the Jewish man
had asked, 'and you can add another 4 years or so on for from when
he first confessed'; Dakin snorted, and replied with 'no, it took
that long for my common sense to kick in...why were you counting that
anyway?'
(1)One of many British slang words for 'drunk',
and this author's particular favourite.
(2) Referencing Jack
Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.