I don't remember having a nightmare, but I do know that I woke up screaming.

I quickly sat up on the makeshift couch-bed and breathed heavily. I could feel the ringing in my ears as I recover from the deafening sound I managed to create.

Sasuke opened the door to his room and looked at me, his eyes searching for anything wrong.

Suddenly I remember why I started screaming. It was a memory, or multiple memories of Sasuke just…resurfacing all at once. The good and the bad…

"Go away Sasuke." I snapped at him and walked over to the kitchen to get a glass of something, anything. As soon as I got up my head reeled and I felt like the room was spinning. My hangover was starting.

Sasuke swiftly caught me as I tumbled into the coffee table, but I shoved him away.

"Don't touch me!" I glared. His hands burned but he let go and step back, looking pissed off.

"You scream and expect me to just ignore it?" he bit.

"I expect you to just forget it happened and leave me the fuck alone." I continued towards the sink and grabbed a glass out of the cupboard.

Sasuke grabbed my arm causing me to drop the cup, shattering it on the floor. "Why were you screaming?" I pushed him back and winced as I stepped in the broken glass.

"Why do you care?" I yelled. "I'm in the same house as a traitor, that alone is reason enough for me to scream." He recoiled a bit and snarled. "You know what, I wasted 4 fucking years of my life trying to get you back. I thought maybe I could start over with you if you did, but obviously you had other plans. Now all I want is for you to fuck off and let me get on with my life!"

"You know why I had to leave Sakura, I had needed to become stronger. Falling in love with you wasn't on my to-do list!"

"Don't give me any of that sob story bullshit Sasuke, boo-hoo for you! I know what happened and you were so blinded by revenge you didn't think anything through! And I never expected you to love me back!" Sasuke pushed me against the wall and held me there.

"You think I wanted this?" he snarled. "I never asked for any of this" He pushed me farther into the wall and the alcohol made my head spin. "I wasted everything only to realize it was a lie and my brother paid for that lie with his life!" I hazily looked at him and hissed.

"You still took the power Sasuke, and where did it get you? You lost everything." I struggled against his grip but in brute strength, he definitely won. "Show me that precious power of yours was worth it! I'm sure your brother's eyes were!" I screamed. "Kill me Sasuke, finish the job! Show me you severed your bond with me." Sasuke growled and grit his teeth as he pulled his fist back and I cursed myself for flinching as his hand crushed through the drywall just inches away from my head. His head hanging low and our breathing matched, labored and sporadic.

His left grip loosened around my wrists and he rested his head against the wall, his breath tickling my ear.

"I can't kill you…" he breathed. A shiver went down my spine as his words faded and I hated him for being able to cause it.

"You've tried to kill me twice before, why should killing me now make a difference?" I said softly. "If your worried about your precious freedom in the village just kill me and run, that should be easy for you. After all, you managed to successfully run from us for 3 years" I stayed as quiet as I could to hear him move…breathe. To convince myself that even he is human. Sasuke still didn't respond. I just stared at his shoulder and looked at all the scars and burns…something was missing. There was a small puckered scar in the crook of his neck.

"The cursed seal…" I whispered. Sasuke's head jerked up and looked at me, a sad expression on his face as he read my surprised look. "How is it…gone? It…you had it and I thought…" I stumbled over the words. I remember the chuunin exams so clearly, when he got that retched seal on his collar. How he warned me not to tell anyone. All Kakashi could do was try to contain it but even that didn't work. I reached up gently and traced the outside of the scar where the mark used to be and Sasuke just watched, letting me touch the marred skin. I was gentle and hesitant, but Sasuke left me to my devices and watched as I absently tried to understand just how it could possibly be gone…

I looked up at Sasuke our faces dangerously close. His eyes stared into mine, a mixture of sadness and anger. He whispered softly, "My brother…" he reached over his shoulder and grabbed my hand, gently this time. My heart sped up as his hand, sweaty and sticky wrapped itself around my small wrist. His knuckles were raw from punching the wall.

"Your brother sacrificed a lot for you…I know." Sasuke nodded. He knew I had heard everything in intelligence. When Ibiki interrogated him, I was one of the few who had to sort out the facts through nothing more than a false brick wall. I knew him personally and finding out the rest of the story was…difficult. But Sasuke told the truth in interrogation. There was no reason for him to lie. Suddenly I did feel like the bad person, shutting him out and blaming him for so much, despite all that he's been through. Sasuke leaned forward and rested his head against mine, his breath warm on my lips.

"Sakura…" he let go of my wrist. "Killing you would do nothing." he whispered. "Don't ask me to kill you when I have nothing left."

Why did my name sound absolutely sinful on his lips? I felt my heart fall to my stomach the same way it always did when I'm this close to him. This wasn't the Sasuke I remember, the man who I loved and feared. This Sasuke is broken and hollow.

And those eyes aren't his.

They were his brother's. I let him get hairs breadth away from kissing me before I push him away. I realize that I'm crying and he looks cold, shutting everything out again like he always does.

"You're not the Sasuke I knew, and you don't even deserve the little that you do have." I wiped my eyes with my forearm and looked at him, hands tightly balled into fists, eyes cold but hurt shutting me out.

After everything that you've done to me I can't let you into my life again, Sasuke. Please understand that. You've hurt me way too much for me to trust you…

But I don't say that. I take a step forward to go back to bed and my head reels and I'm falling…

…

"Sakura-san,"

I could hear my name being called…but it sounded like there were multiple voices.

"Sakura-san wake up." The voices pushed my shoulder and I groaned, my head was pounding with a hangover and I desperately needed pain medication. Ugh.

"Sakura-chan, wake up!"

"Ugh…Naruto go away…" I pulled my pillow over my head. My headache was making my ears ring.

"See Sasuke-teme, she's fine!" Naruto pulled me up and handed me an aspirin and a glass of water. Hinata gave me a small smile and asked me if I was feeling all right.

"I am never drinking again…" I finished the water and set the glass down on the coffee table.

"Sasuke told me about the ambush last night are you ok? You have a huge purple bruise on your forehead." Naruto brushed my hair away and I winced as he brushed against the bruise. I guess I have more than just the drinks to blame for my hangover.

I'm gonna bash the bastards head in at interrogation today…

"I'm fine, Naruto really. They were rogues at best; they had no idea what they were doing. Their only motive was to get revenge on us for killing his brother because of the syringe we were transporting back from Suna."

"The one you, Neji and the Suna medics were working on for Tsunade obaa-chan?" I nodded and pressed my hand to the bruise to ease some of the pain and I looked around the living room, finally able to see just how bare the walls of this temporary apartment were, as well as the stack of unwashed dishes in the sink. Sasuke sat across the room with his arms crossed, not looking at anything but the floor.

"You know you never told me what it was?" Naruto poked me in the shoulder.

"It's top secret baka, I couldn't tell you if I wanted to." That syringe was under top security and I had to develop a second one by the end of this week…

"Aww come on Sakura, you can tell me! You developed it didn't you?"

"Well yeah, but all I can tell you is no touching! It's unstable."

"You told me that on the mission!" he pouted and Hinata giggled.

"Naruto-kun, I'm sure Sakura-san will tell us If the experiments are a success." Naruto rolled his eyes at me and kissed his fiancé. Hinata blushed and I felt happy for the couple. They worked well together.

"Experiments?" Sasuke asked.

"It's an unstable vaccination we're developing and we have to find a way to make it…not kill the client." I explained. "I can't reveal much more than that." Hinata nodded and Sasuke just quizzically raised an eyebrow before returning his attention to the floor.

"Well, Sakura, Tsunade wants to see you in her office, in about an hour. She wants to know about the attempted ambush and also," he jabbed a finger at Sasuke, "Bastard needs a checkup." He grinned and Sasuke just sighed with a muttered "fuck".

I pulled myself off the couch and grabbed my shoes from the door.

"Come on, lets make a quick run to my house before your doctors appointment. I need clean clothes and a shower." Naruto grinned and took over the couch before pulling Hinata onto his lap, glad to have more time with his girlfriend. Sasuke pushed himself off the wall and put on his shoes before coming with me.

My house wasn't far from here, just 4 blocks east of the apartment. However, the company left something to be desired because the walk was completely quiet the whole way there. And we would've been there faster if Sasuke had any chakra to use, but unfortunately the seals prevented him from doing much. It's not like I was complaining. Sometimes it just felt nice to be able to walk casually, like I'm no better than anyone else.

The outfit was getting me quite a few stares though…

I never got the chance to change out of my club clothes so I'm walking down the street looking like a cheap whore who just woke up. Meanwhile, Sasuke walking not 4 steps behind me looks casual and aloof. Great.

I hear a whistle and I turn my head to see Kiba and Akamaru, Kiba whistling "Nice outfit hot stuff!" I flipped him the finger and laughed. Sasuke just stared ahead and ignored his whistles.

We finally reached the door to my apartment and the minute my hand touched the doorknob I was on edge.

It was warm.

Not just warm but...lingering, s if someone was trying to open my door not too long ago.

Instead of putting the key in the deadbolt I tried turning the handle.

It was open…I never leave my apartment unlocked. I checked the deadbolt on the door and it was melted off, leaving the lock completely useless. Something was very wrong.

"Sasuke?" I turned towards him and he looked at me questioningly. I reached behind me and pulled a kunai out of a pocket in my outfit. "Take this…" He just nodded and followed me inside. The living room looked normal enough, nothing seemed like it was out of place…but my bedroom door was open. And there was the smell!

I reached underneath the couch cushion and pulled out a spare kunai before silently making my way to my bedroom.

It's a disaster. My mattress is in shreds and thrown against the window, my dresser drawers are open and empty, its contents spilling out to the floor. In the middle of the mattress I smelled burning flesh, and a dismembered arm was laying charred on the floor.

"What…?" I dropped the kunai onto the floor and saw the blood from the arm trail towards my closet, the only thing that looked intact, but the smell there was terrible. The entire room smelled of death and rotting corpses. Sasuke walked over to my closet, holding his breath and flung open the door. The dead body of Mao Ikuza toppled out of the closet covered in dirt and flies. Sasuke covered his nose and stepped away from the body.

"Sakura, do you know him?" he spoke through his hand.

I staggered a bit on my feet and ran out of my bedroom towards the bathroom and bent myself over the toilet, Sasuke ran after me and held my hair back as I puked from the stench and the shock. This can't be happening…shit no…

"Sakura?" Sasuke stroked my back in an attempt to calm me down after I was done emptying my breakfast into the toilet. "Who was that body?" I wiped my mouth with toilet paper and flushed the evidence down the toilet. My head was spinning and no matter how much I tried I could still smell death and to know that I was the one that caused all of this mess…

How could anyone know about him? That experiment was secret and confidential and we had cover stories and…

"Sakura?" Sasuke gently and awkwardly stroked my hair back onto place as I finished vomiting.

"He was a criminal, locked up in the Konoha Maximum security prison." Sasuke handed me a glass of water to wash out the taste in my mouth.

"Why was his body in your bedroom closet?" I gulped down the water and stared at my disheveled appearance in the toilet bowl before answering him.

"I killed him."

…

Sasuke and I stood outside the now quarantined apartment as ANBU and police forces worked to clear out the body and check for any other possible damage or traps or poison. Obviously I was their target tonight, but instead I had stayed at Sasuke and Naruto's apartment, those two goons from last night were probably on their way back from this disaster when they realized I wasn't at home where I should have been.

"That man was robbed from his grave, because you killed him?" Sasuke asked again. I never really explained everything that happened because I had to send out an alert call and get that awful stench out of my home. Of course, I probably won't be going back there, since whoever was trying to kill me knows where I live, its not safe for me.

"He was the first test subject, for the vaccine I'm developing. Once the effects backfired, he started getting severe seizures and died from cardiac arrest and he had these violent reactions and…it was terrible. The serum contained inside the vaccination had a negative effect on his heart, disintegrating his blood vessels causing severe internal bleeding."

"What is the vaccine, exactly? And why does it have a danger to the human receiving it?" Sasuke asked. This has to be the most normal conversation we've had in years and it happens to be top secret.

"I'll tell you and Naruto tonight." I promised. Sasuke nodded and we started walking towards Tsunade's office.

We walked in silence, the smell still lingering in everything I'm wearing. I couldn't take a shower in there…not with everything in that apartment now. I'm going to burn everything in my room, my clothes, everything. Start new, I have plenty of money saved up of course that means I have to get an entirely new wardrobe and mission gear and a new lab coat for work…maybe even a new apartment…

…

"Enter!" Tsunade-shishou's voice boomed from the office. Sasuke and I entered and she immediately stood up, a look of anger on her face. The air was tense and I knew the minute I saw the sake bottle crash to the floor we were knee deep in shit.

"How did this information leak, Sakura ?" she said calmly. Her voice was steady and level but her eyes looked like they wanted to strangle me, and that is never a fun experience. "you were almost killed?!" she slammed her hands down onto her desk and stormed over to Sasuke and I, standing at attention under the pressure of her yelling at me. "How did this information become known to two useless rogues with pathetic shinobi training?" she yelled and I flinched.

"I'm sorry, shishou." Tsunade took a deep breath and grit her teeth before she rounded on Sasuke and glared.

"You." She pointed. "You have caused me nothing but trouble since the day we threw your sorry ass in prison!" Tsunade-sama walked over to her desk and hastily grabbed a folder with Sasuke's genin picture paper-clipped to the front. "A 10 million yen bounty on your head? You have got to be kidding me! Every fucking bounty hunter and rogue and even village leaders are after your body, dead or alive!" She threw the folder at Sasuke and its contents spilled out onto the floor. "Do you know how much this could affect Konoha? We just finished with all of the damaged you and your little posse caused, rebuilding what was destroyed from pain's attack nearly 4 and a half years ago and now I'm going to have every self righteous shinobi in Japan knocking down our doors to get to you for a 10 million yen bounty! If I had half a mind I would turn you in for the money myself but your teammates protected you, kami knows why!" Tsunade-sama picked Sasuke by the collar and lifted him off the ground, his expression unmoving before she threw him against the wall, the sharp sound of collapsing drywall filled the office.

Happy birthday to me…