A/N: I hope I won't get in trouble for this…not just with the rules, but with the fans as well. I thought it would be funny to have Harry write a letter to J.K. Rowling (who is not me, by the way), so we'll just have to see what happens. If enough people like this, maybe I'll continue with these. Also, these are OOC, just so you're warned.

Dear Miss Rowling,

I am your creation, also known as Harry Potter. You have given me a pretty harsh life. You killed my parents at the hands of the darkest wizard of all time, you had me live with horrible beyond belief relatives, you even had me survive multiple life threatening events, most of which occurred during school!

That's only a bit of the insanity that is my life. Yes, I know I have great friends, Ron and Hermione, who send you their regards, so thanks for them because we all know Hermione and Ron make life much better. My girlfriend, soon to be wife, Ginny, is also pretty great.

But when I learned that my second born son was going to be called 'Albus Severus', I felt like vomiting. Why would I bestow such a horrible name on my kid? I understand my flawless logic on how I came up with the name 'Albus', but 'Severus'? I was bullied by him for seven years! I never liked him for as long as I knew him. I did respect him during the Final Battle for reasons you should remember, but not enough to name my kid after him!

Wishes for a better named son,

Harry James Potter

P.S. Ginny wants to know why it seemed she had no say in naming our kids, after all, the names are special for me. But who cares about her? I'm the main character, after all!