Author's note: this is a piss take for Mira, inspired by her Robin Hood the Musical. Because I honestly believe Guy or the Sheriff should sing this song.
The whole of Nottingham was called to the Sheriff's keep for an announcement one rather sunny day. Robin and his gang slunk in through the crowds to see what the announcement was. The six of them stood in the back with their hoods hiding their faces. Guy of Gisborne stepped up on the scaffolding and coughed loudly to gain their attention.
"People of Nottingham, I have an announcement for you all and to Robin Hood especially" he shouted loudly.
"This will be good" Robin muttered nudging Much in the ribs.
To the gangs surprise a band started to play some rather jazzy music and Guy began to tap his foot.
"Is he…?" Much asked in disbelief
"I think so…" Robin muttered
Guy opened his mouth and began to sing;
"Gosh, it's such a hoot to see them quaking
When I'm king
they'll treat me with respect
I can't wait to watch their poor
hearts breaking
So much for politically correct"
"Wow he's actually rather good" Much commented
"I know, I never thought that grease ball would be a good singer" Allan agreed clicking his fingers to the tune.
"Up 'til now I've pulled my punches
I intend to eat
their lunches
No more Mr. Nice Guy, not for me"
"Hang on!" Will said "when was he ever nice?"
The gang just shrugged.
"If you think that I'm hard-hearted
Well, let
me by, I haven't even started
No more Mr. Nice Guy, no siree"
"No more Mr. Nice Guy" Djaq sang softly
"DJAQ!" the men shouted
"What? It's a catchy tune" Djaq said shrugging
"Soon as my witchcraft has zinged them
I'll gain
control of the kingdom
As for Marian, well that's tragic
'Cause
I'm going back to that old black magic"
Guy pulled Marian up on the scaffolding and twirled her round; instead of the normal colourful clothes she was wearing she was wearing a black sexy dress that had Robin drooling.
"Err… Robin? You can stop drooling now" Allan said
"Good behaviour is so much duller
Time to show my
one true colour
Baby, Mr. Nice Guy's history"
To everyone's shock (and Robin's fury) Guy pushed Marian on to the floor and then danced round her.
"Vengeance is what I believe in
I don't get mad, I
get even"
Guy winked over at Robin before picking Marian up and danced round the scaffolding hands on her hips, slowing edging lower.
"Marian can't get to the ball 'cause I won't bring her
So
I'll zap up a date who's a real dead ringer"
"Up to no good, I love plottin'
'Cause I'm so good
when I'm rotten
No more Mr. Nice Guy, wait and see (wait and
see)"
Marian had now danced off of the scaffolding and was walking away covering her face in shame. While Guy threw his hands up in the air dramatically.
"I'll become that nasty, naughty, very spiteful
Wicked,
wayward, way delightful
Bad guy I was born to be"
The Sheriff had stuck his head out of the window to see what Guy was up to and shouted out to him.
"One more time!"
To everyone's horror Guy ripped his clothes off and underneath was a bright pink tutu and he began to prance round on the stage as he sang the last verse.
"Lying, loathsome, never tender
indiscreet repeat
offender
No more Mr. Nice Guy, that's not me"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The gang was woken up by Much's screams coming from his bunk.
"Much, Much what is it? What's wrong?" Robin asked shaking his friend.
"I had a nightmare, a horrible nightmare" Much said shivering "Gisborne was dancing round the scaffolding in a pink netty dress while singing No More Mr Nice Guy"
The whole gang stood there looking horrified at the image.
"Right that's it" Djaq said "no more cheese before bed"