A Cure For Loneliness
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in the Shugo Chara! series.
Sad she was… A sudden fear that something bad would happen – to spoil everything. Now, when they were about to get married at last. She remembered so many things they had been through along all the ten years that had passed since they had first met. She was preparing the flat in which they would live together after they got married. Now Ikuto was in Paris – she would have liked to be there with him – for him. That violin recital was so important to him! She felt like calling him all the time, but she didn't want to make him worry – or call her silly.
Amu closed her eyes, thinking about his lips and the eyes that had always made her melt inside. She just couldn't believe that this incredibly handsome young man was about to become her husband. And make her his wife. And make love to her… She blushed. Making love to Ikuto seemed something… unreal. Something mysterious and exciting. She wondered what it was going to be like. But her fantasies always ended abruptly because her imagination was still limited.
The telephone rang – all of a sudden. She rushed to it, hoping it was Ikuto. But a well-known shrill voice at the other end of the line reminded her that she was expected to dine at her friend's house.
'Oh, Yaya, I had almost forgotten. Thanks for reminding me. Who else is coming?'
'Just the girls.'
'OK. I'll bring some shrimps and crabcakes… And a bottle of vermouth. Is that all right?'
'Perfect! Will you meet me at the back entrance of the opera house?'
'Why there?'
'I promised somebody I'd pick her up…'
'No problem. I'll be there. What time?'
'Around eight.'
'Great. See you then.'
'See you.'
Yaya's liveliness contrasted with her mood. She felt so lonely without Ikuto, and yet she didn't feel like socializing. But she knew Yaya was organizing her bridal shower and she wouldn't disappoint her. Actually this dinner party was meant to discuss what Amu would fancy for her last night as a single woman. Well, she didn't really feel like a woman at all – but that was another matter. She chose a casual outfit and packed the food, then she took a cab up to the opera house. Yaya wasn't there. A guard approached her and asked,
'Excuse me, are you expecting someone? Are you miss Hinamori Amu?'
'Why, yes, I am.'
'Your girlfriend is already inside. She said you shouldn't wait for her outside, because it might take a while. So… you may go in, miss. Straight forward – through that door – and then to the right.'
'Thank you.'
Amu had become familiar with theatres and opera houses because of Ikuto's concerts and recitals. But she had never been here before and she felt shy for a second. But then she thought it was silly of her not to dare go in…
She followed the hallway into a narrow corridor and then she found herself in a circular room with many doors.
She knocked on one of them. No answer. She tried the knob. The door was locked. The next one was a rehearsal room – some ballerinas looked at her in wonder. The third door was the toilet. Amu felt awkward already. She opened the next door a little irritated already – because Yaya shouldn't have made her look for her like that. There was a heavy curtain in front of the door. And behind it… there were lights. Amu could just hope she wouldn't get right on stage.
'Excuse me…' – she whispered.
Then she realized it was one of the artists' changing rooms. Somebody was undressing just in front of her. A young man. She could see his back, all those fine muscles and a beautiful skin glowing in the light. He had long hair and a graceful figure.
'I'm so sorry…' – said Amu, blushing.
The young man turned around and noticed her. Amu's jaw dropped instantly.
'Nadeshiko!... I mean… Nagihiko…'
'Yeh, it's me… It's been a while… We've just had a show here – and Yaya learnt about it and came to invite me… Congratulations, Joker!'
'Thank you… I had no idea you'd come… It's such a surprise…'
'I'm glad I can be here for you. You haven't changed a bit.'
'You've changed. I mean… you look… different. … er… Where's Yaya?'
'I asked her to bring me some… normal clothes.'
'What does "normal" mean?'
'Yeah, right. I can't fool anyone anymore. Those girls might think I'm some kind of a freak.'
'Don't say that. You'd look lovely both in a man's suit and in a dress.'
'I thought I could wear a kimono, but Yaya said I should wear a pair of jeans and a sweater. What do you think?'
'Well, I don't know. The important thing is to feel comfortable.'
'I suppose so.'
There was a very nice smell in the changing room. Some kind of warm fragrance. Amu realized it was Nagihiko who smelt like that.
'I've missed you' – said Nagihiko, with a sad smile. 'I'm so glad to see that you are doing well!'
'How are you, Nagihiko? Have you got a girlfriend?'
'Not really. I mean… Somehow I manage to attract only men…'
'Don't say that! You look… positively… manly to me!'
Nagihiko laughed.
Amu saw that his big bright eyes were full of pain.
'What's wrong, Nagihiko? I can see that something's wrong – and you won't tell me!'
'I can't spoil your happiness…'
'How could you?'
'I lied before… It's not true that women don't find me attractive. It's just… that I reject them all. It's always been you… you've made my good side show. I went away because I wanted you to follow your destiny… with Ikuto. He is the right one for you, not I. '
'What are you saying?'
Nagihiko took Amu's hand and kissed her fingers.
'Nothing. Forget about it.'
Amu felt weak and vulnerable. The atmosphere was strange, and yet wonderful. Some warmth that was so pleasant and peaceful… She felt that smell again. Nagihiko's bare body so close to her… So close. She could touch it. That soft skin, the beautiful hair… Those big, hypnotizing eyes…
'Nade… Nagihiko, I…'
Nagihiko put a finger on her lips. And Amu felt like kissing that finger. What was going on? Why did she feel she couldn't move? She thought she was going to faint – but Nagihiko caught her in his arms. Amu felt a sudden urge to kiss him. Yes, to kiss him and hold him and cling to that beautiful body. What was wrong with that picture? Everything. She half-realized she must be out of her mind, but she couldn't stop herself.
'What?'
'Nagihiko, I… I want you! Make love to me!'
'You don't mean that – I know you don't. You'll have Ikuto soon. You love him.'
'Yes, I do love him – but this is… different. I want you, Nagihiko!'
'This is crazy…'
'Yes, it is…'
Nagihiko made her lie on the carpet and kissed her neck – slowly, very slowly. He was so gentle… His hands caressed her body and Amu sighed. Her desire was growing more and more intense.
'I want you, too, Amu… But not like this. It would be a mistake. I won't replace Ikuto. I love you. Truly. So I won't let my body rule over my reason. Come, I'll wash your face. Yaya will be here soon.'