"She's far from perfect, but in the eyes Chase Collins she sure is the perfect tool."

The Tool

Preview: She was sorry for saying it, though not for the evident reasons: she was sorry that she had wasted this perfect comeback on this occasion. She had much rather spouted it in front of Kate, in front of everyone…People would've been shocked, scandalized. They would've called Kate a homewrecker, Pogue a dirty little womanizing scumbag, and she? She would've been the innocent little victim

Chapter five: Meds

She pulled her hands further into the sleeves of her hoodie: her eyes blind to what was happing around her. She had gone out to get some air and was now sitting on a bench somewhere on the school grounds.

How did she ever get this way?

Envy seemed the most logical answer. She had been envious of her sister all her life, she had stopped eating to look more like her, had started drinking to be like her, and had started drugs because of her…And now she was too far gone to ever be normal again. She remembered the day her parents had decided she needed help; it had been the first day out of the hospital, she had gotten drunk again, so drunk she couldn't even stand up straight anymore.

Her father had shook her, screamed at her, told her she was dying. It had made her brother cry, she remembered feeling terrible for making him cry, her first real emotion in ages…

"God are you stalking me or something?" An annoyed voice called snapping her out of her thoughts.

She looked up straight into the angry eyes of Pogue Perry who seemed to be out on a jog yet again, he did everything to stay in shape…such a vain little boy.

"I was here first you drama queen," Lin snapped, she could really do without his bullshit right now.

"Before I forget, great stunt you pulled yesterday, you must have really enjoyed that huh?"

"It was her own fault."

"Sarah was being a good friend."

"She should've stayed out of my business."

"What she should've let you beat the crap out of Kate is that it?"

"Yeah, she should've," Lin stated, oddly passive as she let Pogue rant. A million thoughts were running through her head making her dizzy and sick. "It would have given me closure."

"Closure? What the fuck Lin," Pogue said frowning. "Stop acting like a victim and get over it."

"I am over it, there was nothing to get over in the first place."

"Than why do you need closure for fucks sake, if you never cared in the first place?! You're fucked up Lin, a waste of time."

She stared up at him and suddenly the fire was back into her eyes, she mauled over her words in her head, trying to find the most hurtful comment she could.

And then finally something came up, the trump card she had been hiding in her sleeve all along and the one thing she could say to hurt Pogue Perry.

"I was pregnant."

It was amazing what three words, twelve letters could do to a person: his posture stiffened, his eyes widened and all colour left his face.

"You're lying," he stated quickly his voice sounding shaky.

She shook her head. "I was pregnant," she repeated matter-of-factly as if she was merely commenting on the weather. "I found out a month after you ditched me for that cheap slut, almost three months along."

He stared at her, for once not harshly but hesitantly: he obviously wanted to know more, but the tough ass biker boy was apparently afraid to ask.

Gutless, always had been always will be.

Lin got up, not bothering to pay him attention: she had stuck in the knife and had twisted it once, that was enough for now.

"Was it mine?" Pogue asked quietly as she turned to leave.

"Who cares, neither man is worth a dime," Lin said smiling slightly as she walked away from him. Now he knew how it felt.

She was sorry for saying it, though not for the evident reasons: she was sorry that she had wasted this perfect comeback on this occasion. She had much rather spouted it in front of Kate, in front of everyone…People would've been shocked, scandalized. They would've called Kate a homewrecker, Pogue a dirty little womanizing scumbag, and she? She would've been the innocent little victim, though undoubtedly some people would resent the fact she had an abortion.

She didn't regret it, she never did and never would and as if to prove just that, she smiled at her own reflection, glad to be back in the warm comfort of her dorm.

"You look like shit," a familiar voice drawled from behind her.

Lin's posture went rigid, and through the mirror she looked at who was sitting behind her on her bed: it was Nancy, with her doe-eyes and long blond hair that shone like a freaking halo. Everything about her was angelic, but on the inside she was just as rotten as her little sister, after all Lin had learned from the best.

"What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Nancy questioned amused leaning back into Lin's mint coloured pillow as she toyed with the lime green bedspread. "You and green huh?"

"You're not here," Lin stated dully staring into the reflection of her own eyes.

"Of course I'm not," Nancy laughed. "You're insane, remember?"

"Leave."

"Why should I?"

"Because you're not real," Lin said setting her jaw in stubborn. "You're somewhere in Salem with tubes sticking out of your orifices."

"You're so harsh."

"Runs in the family."

Nancy smiled brightly.

"You're not here."

"Of course I'm not," Nancy said. "I'm just a figment of your fucked up mind. I thought they told you that in that nuthouse mom and dad put you in."

"It was rehab."

"Same deal different name."

"I'm not insane."

"Whatever," Nancy said in a singsong voice.

"Shut up!" Lin snapped.

"He cares, you know," Nancy said staring into Lin's eyes; then and there, she was as real as real could be. Lin heard her breath, smelled her perfume, she could've touched her, hugged her…if she had wanted to.

"Who cares about what?"

"Pogue cares about the baby."

"There's no baby, there never was a baby," Lin stated diverting her gaze from her sister's accusing eyes.

"Yes, there was, but you made it go away and now you're sorry"

"I'm not sorry, I did the right thing."

"The right thing? That's rich coming from a pathological liar." Nancy said with a curt laugh. "It was your baby."

"So?" Lin questioned unconvincingly.

"You killed it."

"Killed it?" Lin sneered. "I saved that kid a lot of misery! Do you have any idea how fucked up that kid was going to be?! Born addicted to heroin and booze? Even if it survived birth it would've been fucked for life!"

"Someone read the pamphlet," Nancy said raising her eyebrows. "And developed a conscious, look at you getting all defensive and shit."

"Leave Nancy," Lin said calming herself as much as she could.

"He's a bad man, you know," Nancy said starring at her intently.

"Who?"

"Chase, he's no good," Nancy stated.

"Neither am I."

"He'll use you."

"I'm using him."

"No, he uses you, everybody uses you."

"Shut up!"

"He's the lion and you're the itty bitty mouse he toys with before dinner."

"Shut up!"

"You're a tool Linda, you'll never be more than that."

"SHUT UP!" She screamed slamming her fist onto the table and when she looked up again, Nancy was gone. Pushed back into whatever little dark corner of Lin's mind she had crawled out off. And then she just sat there, she didn't know how long, it seemed like for hours she sat there staring into her own eyes seeing nothing.

She looked like her sister, though only vaguely. But that resemblance was too much to handle at this point in time.

She went on a frantic rampage searching every drawer for a pair of scissors and when she finally found one she started chopping away at her long dark hair, strands falling everywhere and that's when Clara came in.

"What did you do? The room's a mess," she scolded before her eyes finally fell on Lin. "Oh hunny, what did you do?" She mumbled running over to her and taking the scissors from her shaking hands.

Her long hair, her beautiful hair…She had chopped away random pieces.

"I saw someone who wasn't here," Lin muttered seemingly out of it.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw Nancy."

"Nancy? Sweetheart she's-,"

"Yes, I know, I told you she wasn't really here but I saw her anyway."

"Lin," Clara said staring into her hazy eyes. "Did you forget to take your meds?"

"What fucking meds?" Lin shouted. "I don't take meds!"

"Your antipsychotic meds Lin, did you take them yes or no?"

"No! No, I flushed them down the toilet, happy now?"

"You have to take them."

"No, I don't!" she shouted before continuing in an almost whispered tone. "I am not insane."

"I know you're not," she said putting the scissors on the desk before pulling Lin close. "But you have to take your meds."

"I don't want to."

"They're good for you, it keeps the bad things away, remember?"

"They make me sick," Lin muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"I feel funny when I take them, like it's slowly killing me. Do you think they want to kill me?"

"Who?"

"My parents, the doctors, everyone," she said quietly.

"Don't be silly, Lin-,"

"You don't understand," she said her voice regaining it's usual timbre and her tone leaving no doubt: the conversation was over, what had just happened was in the past. "Get ready, we're going out tonight."

"Again? Lin, it's a school night."

"Fuck if I care."

"At least let me fix your hair."

T.B.C

Took me long enough I know ^^

And yep not a lot of Sons but next chapter they'll be there, I promise. Just wanted to shed some more light on my dearest Lin.

Love

Xoxo

The Fishie