Author's Note:

This is my first Koga/Ayame. And how un-nice of me to make it a dark fic!

But I hope you understand the concept, and why its called 'Trash'

Please review even though its a one shot I need reviewwwsss!!

Good/Bad reviews I don't care!! Just give me reviews!!

Oh if your wondering this fic is actually inspired by the song Trash (not the main reason why the fic is called Trash) by Korn, I might suggest you listening to it for 'full effect' ; but hell it worked for me! but if you dont like korn doesnt matter but your choice! lol but give it a try! woot! lol and yes it is inspired by a friend, whose story is close to this, but not with the ending nothing like that! but the main things was the same!

anyways please review!!

By : get-crunked

Koga's POV

How did it start well I don't know, she just came to my life, I don't even feel something for her and I don't even care. Though I dare say she is one agreeable girl, but I could never feel the same for her. Her name is Ayame. I just feel the craving. Her mother is my father's younger sister, who is my fair aunt. There was a union during our infancy in which both of us could not object. Yes, if you thought we were engaged by our parents during our first few months in this wretched world, then you got it right. I tell my lies and I despise every second I am with you. There are things in this world that I hoped to happen, but I didn't have other choice but to marry Ayame.

But before I could tell you every detail of my life including my marriage with the woman, whom I could never feel the same, let me tell you about a girl named, Kagome. I met her not too long ago and decided that she is the fairest of all in my time. Black tresses, big brown eyes, and of course her sweetness. I love Kagome. But I could never be with her, since my father already have plans, and I have duties I have to do, and that includes of separating me from my only love, Kagome.

After some time we have been separated from each other, I've been cold and sometimes bear all my anger to poor Ayame, I didn't mean to, but technically she was the whole reason why I couldn't be with my dear Kagome. Then what really killed me was when I found out that she is to marry that mongrel, InuYasha, of Inu clan of the west.

Ayame on the second hand, is kind, sweet, her youthfulness made her interesting and quite lovely, but not for me. I don't know why, but I never learned to love her, and I never will, I know.

" Isn't today a lovely day, my dear Koga?" she said while we were on our way to my aunt's house.

" Indeed," I replied quietly not really caring how the day really was.

" Is something the matter, my dear Koga?"

"You know well, Ayame." I can't help but to growl at her, many times I told her not to call me 'dear' but she keeps on doing it and I can't stand it. "Never call me that."

She did not reply but she only looked at the window, soon I sensed her bloody tears, she is crying again.

So I ran away and you still stay so what the fuck is with you?

I know that I may sound and act harsh around her, but I don't know why there is a hatred I feel for her, yet after all that, she still clings to me and says that I need not to be worry since she will be the perfect wife and that she love me. I keep on ignoring her but she still clings to me like a magnet that is attracted to a metal. Your feelings I can't help but rape (hurt) them. I cannot love her. And I am sorry about that. I feel sad for her. She is so stupid for not seeing this . I am sorry I don't feel the same. I am very sorry. I feel sorry though after all what she did to me, her being nice and caring will never do. I could never love her.

I don't know why I am so fucking cold , but in the end it hurts me. I know all she wants to do is to make me happy and to fulfill her obligation as to having a high rank in the family and has to suffer on marrying me. I have duties to attend like her. But I don't know how can she stand me, me and cruel self.

"Do you accept Lady Ayame, as your lovely wedded wife?"

I do not have a choice for the matter. "Yes. I do."

She smiled. Then suddenly she saw the look in my eyes that something dawned her. She looked sad. She instantly read my mind, it was cruel of me to act that way in her wedding day, and I know that's what she wanted. I can see it from her, everyday of my life.

"Dear Koga, I am the happiest woman alive!" she exclaimed as she inhaled the salty scent of the ocean. She fell silent when I didn't answer. And I am not sure if it was her tears or the ocean I smell.

Though I could've been much happier if you felt the same, my dear Koga. Those were the words that bothered me every night. It made me realize that I have to learn to love her, because of those words she whispered. But it never happened, I never did learn to love her. I don't know what is wrong with me. I hate myself for hating someone who hasn't done anything to me, though she could be blame for my unsuccessful love for Kagome, but Kagome long forgot about me and married someone else.

I am sorry I just threw you away. I remembered my cruel self when she waits for me every night, right when I open the door, every single night, she comes to me and give me her brightest smile. Though I ignore it and either go to shower or to bed, I don't even eat her cooking.

Often at night, almost every night I hear her cry and smell her tears, I know she expect me to console her but I never did.

My heart inside is constantly hating. I have finally realized one day, after 3 years of marriage, when I saw her, saw her … by the bed, her head fell limply forward, she held loose a knife on her left hand she was breathing hard.

"Ayame!" I ran to her, not knowing what to do, I pulled her against me and tried to stop the blood from draining off her foolish body.

"Dear Koga…" she smiled weakly.

"What the hell were you thinking Ayame!"

She smiled then she suddenly coughed up blood.

"What the hell did you do to yourself Ayame?" she didn't answer, but kept on smiling. "Answer me Ayame!"

"Dear Koga…" she stopped as she suddenly coughed up the blood that was supposed to flow out from her wounded abdomen. "…just once in my life… I want to see you care for me…"

I didn't understand what she said. "I want to see you care for me Koga, like what I tried doing for 25 years since I found out that were suppose to marry, I want to be the perfect wife! I wanted you to love me! Koga I just want to see… and it worked… you care for me don't you?"

"Of course I do! What the hell were you thinking Ayame?!"

"I love you Koga… do not forget that…" she said in her final breath.

I can't help it but a tear rolled down my cheeks and hit her lips. Foolish girl! Foolish, foolish girl! She killed herself just so she could see me care for her? I must be very cruel to her! Damnation! I don't deserve to live!!

I am sorry I just threw you away… I clutched the knife and I cut the skin on my arm, I felt the blood coming out, it stings but I deserve it. I'm sorry I just threw you away. I did the same with my other arm. Then finally stabbing the sharp edge in my abdomen hard then withdrawing it with the same force. I just throw you away. I don't deserve to live my dear Ayame.

Did I ever tell you??

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