Harsh Realization

By Kris

Disclaimer: Yet again, this site is called 'Fan Fiction' for a reason.

Note: Is it sad to say that I really needed this? I don't want anyone telling me that there wasn't anything between the two, as it is my own perception. If you feel that it is wrong, simply click the back button or the x. Afterall, I'm not forcing you to read this.

The blood pooled over his snow white hands, staining them dark crimson. Shock enveloped his body and his once bright blue eyes were dimmed with confusion. Shaking, he gently prodded the body before him, not quite understanding the situation through the haze his brain produced, left over from that monster of a scientist, not grasping the realization of torment and defeat. His knees were soaked in life; the life of a friend who had just saved his life. This same life force smeared his cheek where he had been pulled down to touch, for the last time, his dying companion. One of his hands felt like lead under the weight of a giant broadsword, the legacy of a SOLDIER, the first to fight for what was right, not for what those higher up the corporate ladder decided was great for their wallets.

Cloud leaned forward, peering into Zack's face with concern. "Zack?"

There was not any answer as he had hoped there would be, not even a flicker of life coming from the eyes that were once so full of vitality they could power a reactor alone. His heart thudded painfully in his chest as his throat developed a lump he could not swallow.

"Zack?" It was feeble this time and full of wild desperation. "Zack?"

Still there was not an answer and Cloud found himself face to face with harsh reality. It hit him with such a force that left him breathless, choking for air over the well of tears that suddenly sprung from his eyes. Never again was he going to hear Zack's laughter, see his smile, listen to his words of encouragement. Never again would he feel Zack's warm skin against his cold flesh, taste the sweet desire that coated his lips. He was never going to see him again, never. . .

"Zack?" It was a whisper, a prayer that maybe this was all a bad dream that he would wake up screaming from only to be held by Zack as he tried to calm the hysterical blonde down. "Zack, this isn't funny. . . Please wake up. . ."

Silence. He knew there would be, he just could not accept it. Not so suddenly. His gaze drew over his friend's body, littered with bullet holes that spouted crimson blood of which there was no end in sight. It was as if his soul was spilling from those holes, giving Cloud the insane urge to plug them up to preserve what was left of the man that he so admired, but he knew that it was of no use. His mind was clear now, clearer than it had ever been before, remembering Zack's final words: "You are the proof that I existed."

Cloud sat back and stared up at the sky, his heart asking why? Why him? Then, somewhere from deep within him came forth all the rage and anguish he felt, resulting in almost a howl of desperation, of realization, of the death of the person he had considered to be his lover, the only one he trusted. Nothing could reverse what had been done, nothing, and his mind was coming to terms with that, but his heart was slow to the take.

Moments past in silent tears until he finally stood, hands clutching the hilt of the Buster Sword so tightly that his knuckles beneath his gloves were white. They had taken Zack away from him, and Cloud would be damned if they got a hold of what was remaining. Taking one last look at his friend, he nodded.

"I won't let your memory die. . ."

Then, slowly, he made his exit, dragging the weight of responsibility, of death, of memory, behind him. Midgar was just ahead, he could make it out of the haze of dust that blanketed the already dying earth beneath his feet. His blue eyes were still filled with sadness, but were steadily growing ever more determined. Nothing was going to stop him from correcting the atrocities that he had been through, nothing short of death was going to save Shin-Ra from what was to be its fate. And, with the last ounce of what was left of him self, he muttered:

"You died a hero and I won't let them take that from you. I love you."