Here we are at the fouth chapter, woo hoo! I promised sparkling, didn't I? THANK YOU VERY MUCH Seengot (for reviewing), Ralenore (for reviewing and putting this on alert)! The last chapter seemed serious and non-crack in my opinion, so I'll try to make this one more entertaining. Let the fanservice begin.

I don't own ZOMBIEPOWDER., and neither do you.

WARNING: This contains foul language, suggested sexual themes, character bashing, and spoilers. Not like you don't see that in your average middle or high school nowadays.

-Dirty Letter Finding-

Elwood was listening to his Walkman as he headed towards one of the big publishing companies in the area. He felt like a mobster in a suit with a pink tie and dark sunglasses, but Smith said he needed to make a good impression if he wanted the big-headed corporate people and their busty trophy wives to take him seriously. Elwood also had his throwing knives hidden in his sleeves, since Gamma suggested they would make a good plan B. Somehow, he felt like he was being tricked by them.

Perhaps it had something to do with the "Kick Me" notice sewn onto his back. Perhaps it was only a feeling.

He entered a large building with a mascot on the side and approached the secretary, who was painting their nails and ignoring the several ringing phones. "Hi, I have an appointment with Mr. S-"

"No." They looked down. "Shoot, I ruined my pinkie."

"Why not?"

This time the secretary actually put the polish away and looked him straight in the eye. "Do you see what those ugly headphones on your head connect to?"

Elwood followed the cord to his pocket. "My Walkman?"

"Yes, that outdated thing. I can't let you up with you walking around with something tacky like that. It gives our company a bad name."

He was furious for being not allowed for such a stupid reason. "Can I just leave it with you while I talk with your boss then?"

The secretary was disgusted. "Heck no are you leaving that here with someone as classy as myself, it'd disgrace my image."

"You're a guy in a dress painting your nails, how will this disgrace your image?"

"GET OUT!" Ed was shooed out of the building with haste.

"Damn it."

---

Wolfina walked back into the apartment complex and into the elevator with her brother, out of breath. It was suprisingly hard to find this place. She had to ask for directions several times on the way, and all the people had an interesting look on their faces and were hesitant to help. Maybe it was her shirt? She knew pink wasn't her color, but Elwood insisted when they went shopping a week before, so she guessed he just had bad taste. Figures, men.

Nothing could have prepared poor Emilio for the hell he was going to experience now that he was living with these people. Even in a coma, he was not safe. He was surrounded by morons, complete and utter morons.

---

Elwood had just returned from his crap visit with the tranvestite secretary, only to find the apartment halls covered in dirt. This was odd yes, but he lived across the hall from the S-rank criminal that runs around nailing armour into arms and a hitman in a banker's suit. This was nothing really.

It wasn't until he noticed that the dirt also trailed under the crack of Wolfina's and his apartment and grabbed a soil covered doorknob that he realized something was very wrong.

The door opened slowly, dirt gathering under the door and causing it to be even harder to open with dramatic effect. Elwood braced himself and observed his surroundings. Just like the hallway, dirt was everywhere, even on the tables and his favourite couch. There was another wheelbarrow, this one containing a shovel with a big, pink ribbon on it. Finally, in the middle of the room, was the culprit behind this tragedy, which is also serving as the plot for this chapter. Gamma Akutabi.

"Hey Elwood." Gamma was clad in gardening clothes and a kitchen apron.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm searching stupid, what do you think I'm doing?" He wiped some sweat off of his face with a sleeve. "Boy, this is sure hard work."

Elwood was only confused further. "It looks more like you're throwing dirt all over the place."

"Exactly."

"I figured criminals never got much of an education, but you're killing my brain. How is this searching?"

Wolfina suddenly appeared, well her head and breasts, in the doorway. "Hi Elwood! You want to help search with us? I got you a shovel, it's the one with the ribbon on it! I know how much you like pink."

So she let him in, no wonder. Elwood grabbed the shovel and ripped the bow off, then stomped it into the carpeting. "What exactly are you looking for?"

"My manuscript."

"You mean the one for our manga?"

"That's the one." More dirt was carefully spread around.

"Then how is this helping? And why do you even think it's here of all places?" Elwood started to shovel dirt back into the wheelbarrow stealthily so he wouldn't be noticed.

This made Gamma stop. "I don't know. How is this helping Wolfina?"

She made a face. "Why am I supposed to know? I just went along with it because it was fun and it made Emilio happy, see?" She pointed at the face-down wheelchair with Emilio still tied to it. "He got really into it earlier."

"Right. Sure he did. How about we clean up, have lunch, and try a different method afterwards, okay?" Elwood felt it was pathetic that he had to sound like the parent in the group.

"Fine Mother, I'll go change my clothes, you want to iron those too?" Gamma decided to be sarcastic to show that he was upset over losing such an important document. This was not helpful in any way. He sulked out of the apartment and into his, where they heard the shower turn on.

"Alright then, I'll make my special stew suprise for lunch, since I know everyone loves that!" Wolfina quickly ran to the kitchen and began her work, getting out various pots and pans, then pulling out a chainsaw from one of the bottom cupboards.

"Then who's going to clean up all the-" Elwood paused. "Wait a second, did you guys just-?" He kicked the wheelbarrow and picked up one of the shovels. If anyone got near, he'd probably kill them.

Emilio stayed where he was, his face still associating itself with the carpet.

----

Angelle was on her bed, drawing pictures of her and Gamma with crayons. "A little red here, some blue on this part, oh and definitely more pink!" She hummed a little tune and started on Gamma's hair.

Dr. Nazna Gemini knocked two times on her door, then broke it in two. "Angelle, what are you doing?"

"Drawing my love and I on our dream vacation to Europe." She held up one of her drawings.

Nazna's eye twitched slightly when she saw it. "Isn't that concept a little too adult for you?"

"What? No, I'm a beautiful lady, so I'm plenty adult."

"But-"

"Not listening, la la la la!" Her tone went high-pitch as her hum became singing. The window shattered in agony.

Nazna had prepared and pulled out some earplugs from her coat pocket. "Do you know why I'm here? I told you on the phone earlier today."

"Mmhmm" Angelle didn't look up at the woman's face. "All finished. Next will be our beach house." She grabbed another piece of computer paper and started drawing.

The doctor's foot began to tap impatiently. "Well, where is it?"

"Is what?" A look of innocence peered at her, but the charm failed.

"The rough draft of the advertisement for the manga, you little bi-"

"Can I use these?" Angelle pointed to the crayon pictures.

"No, I'd like a more appropr-"

"Why not?" She pouted. "They're pretty."

"We are not featuring a crayon sex scene as our advertisement Angelle. Now give me the real picture." Nazna hoped there were some good operations for today, or else she'll make one.

"Fine, fine, meanie." Angelle took out a scrap piece of paper wadded into a ball out from under her pillow. "Knock yourself out." She hardly got it out before it was ripped from her hand and the door slammed shut. She paused for a second, then went back to her drawing. "Freak."

----

Elwood lay colapsed on the dirt-ridden ground like the hero of a tragedy, sullen and dead. His eyes were in the shapes of X's and that mustouche, wait, that was Gamma's doing, nevermind. But he lay there neverless, tragically.

Wolfina got tired of listening to the narrator and stepped on Elwood to see if he'd wake up. "Good morning sunshine!"

The boy grumbled something heard only by the carpet. This seemed to just be a common thing, getting his face whacked onto the nearest flooring.

Wolfina was not tolerating it. She grabbed his hair and lifted up his head so he was eye level with, you guessed it, her face. "I can't hear you Elwood. I said 'Good morning', what are you supposed to say back?" There was a hint of menace in her voice, which could be misinterpreted by fans as sadism.

"What do you want?"

"Elwood."

A moment of defeat. "Fine, good evening Wolfina, may I ask why you're grabbing my head?"

"Because I love you." Her face lit up in a smile. "Now, I finished making lunch while you were busy dozing off with Emilio. Honestly, you two and your carpet." She let go of his hair and walked to the kitchen while Elwood struggled to get back up, now feeling the pain from her stepping on his spine.

"Did Gamma find his manuscript? You do realize we're screwed without it an-" A spoon full of burning acid, or soup, was shoved into his mouth. "MMMHPH!!!" The boy ran around screaming bloody murder as he threw the spoon out of his mouth.

"Nope! Not yet.' Wolfina grabbed a spoon for herself and started to eat her cooking peacefully. not really noticing anything abnormal with it. She must have a stomach of steel.

In his pain, Elwood ran out of the apartment and straight into Smith, who was wearing his usual attire and carrying several pieces of paper clipped together with a pink paperclip. "Where are you going?"

He gasped for breath and tried to answer. "It burns."

"Do I look like a drinking fountain to you?" Smith still carried that blissful expression, enjoying the current situation. "Have you seen Akutabi lately? He forgot this roadkill on his desk." He held up the piece of paper.

Shock went through Elwood's injured spine. "Th-the manuscript?! You had it this entire freaking time?"

But this was not the end; Gamma heard the familiar swish of paper in the air and ran to the two as fast as he could, then stopped and ripped it out of Smith's hands. "My baby! My beautiful, darling, spark of hope! I've been looking for you all day, I didn't even think that I forgot it on my-" He paused. "I left it on my desk. In my room. In the apartment. With the door locked. Yet you somehow found it?" Rage started to be emitted in a satisfactory manner for an S-rank criminal.

"Yes I did. It was late anyway so I picked your lock."

"Is that why there's a bullet hole in it? That'd explain why it won't close."

Elwood was beyond upset. These morons got sidetracked so quickly that they couldn't possibly be criminals. They were missing the point, such an obvious one at that. There was something seriously wrong with that pile of papers. "Do any of you realize that the manuscript is sparkling?"

"Why yes I do." Gamma said proudly. He held it up to the heavens. "It is sparkling for it is the work of God! No, I have surpassed him with all of my epic trials and beau-"

"He pasted glitter on it." A simple statement from Smith that explained it all. The gunman watched Gamma dance around with his sparkling paper for a while with an expression of mild humor on his face before shooting the man in the foot. This made it better.

Wolfina saw the entire commotion from the door of the apartment and felt left out, so she joined in. "Well, now that we've got one problem solved. Yay team! Everyone's hands up!" They did as told. Just let the girl go. "Woo! Oh and Elwood, how is that legalization going? We're getting ready to print."

He remembered his meeting with the transvestite. "$#%."

Alright, this chapter is finally done. o3o I think I ran out of new material. Anyway, this story will probably end in the next chapter or two, just wanted to give you a heads-up. If there's anything you want to see in it, please make a suggestion. No inside jokes, you know who you are. Thank all of you people again, and have a nice day.