Broken Little Doll

By Blumarshin, written for Momosportif's D. Gray-Man Competition.

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man. This fic is making no monetary gain and is only done for personal enjoyment.

Summary: The Fourteenth makes his move and the truth about Allen's very own existence is revealed. Allen the clown of The Clown begins to dance his very last dance...

Set after the Forth level Akuma battle but before the whole Zombie affair.

Allen opened the door to his room, looked about the small space and let out a sigh of not only exhaustion, but of relief as well. He was back in his room peacefully and totally alone. He had missed his room here at headquarters, at the place he got to call home. Having mission after mission, ordeal after ordeal, crisis after crisis, well it was one after the next, and now as Allen shut the door behind him and leaned heavily on it for support, he felt he was finally able to breathe. But that ended the moment his gaze glimpsed his reflection. That was all it took to shatter his peace, to make him hold his breath once more.

Allen stubbornly ignored his reflection and began to drag his aching and tired body forward, ordering his exhausted limbs to motion before he collapsed unceremoniously onto his bed. But it was then that the thoughts returned, troublesome thoughts with no answer and facing a truth he was not ready to face.

Allen was concerned. The shadow had not left him yet. There, as he saw his image in any reflecting surface, be it a mirror, window or glass, 'it' would hover, just before his own image. True he had now gotten used to it, after all it had not talked to him since the Ark, and so it was only the image he was seeing. Nevertheless, simply having the shadow from his dream, from the Ark haunting him was still a little creepy.

But, what could he do about it? Master had disappeared off to central, so no answers could come from him and since no one could see the ghostly apparition bar him, it was a bit hard to explain it to the others. Allen could hear his friends' responses now.

Don't waste my time with your stupid delusions Bean sprout.

Hmm...Allen-kun, don't take this the wrong way, but the stress could be getting to you, perhaps you should lie down? I mean, you are only young and as a Bookman apprentice, I've seen many aged war-veterans and soldiers in the field suddenly lose it. There's nothing to be ashamed of Allen-kun and I'm only saying this because I'm concerned.

A shadow in the mirror? This could be a part of you reaching critical, Allen-kun. I know, you should go and see my brother so he can check on your innocence. That or the rest of the science department may be able to help you.

Images in the mirror Allen-kun? Hmm...I can't see any image, nor can I sense anything out of the ordinary, especially no Akuma, or my teeth would be craving for a bite. Although, perhaps you should see the Matron and get her to check on your eye, maybe it's something to do with your curse?

Shadow exorcist-sama? Ha ha, I remember this one time on Anita-sama's ship the guys brought back this tea and drank it, making them see all these weird things, it was really funny. Have you taken anything strange of late?

Allen sighed. None of their responses would help, and explaining that the shadow had been in his dream would be the clincher. Besides, Allen didn't want to worry them. This has been a stressful time for everyone, what with the Ark incident, the attack on headquarters and the level four Akuma.

During these times Allen couldn't help but think that maybe he was going crazy. Although he would never admit it out loud, his mind and heart was tired. He had done so much in the last couple of days, overused so much of his innocence that he was beginning to dramatically tire. The constant facade of being overly happy and eating until bursting point wasn't helping either. Allen had to admit he was becoming depressed, or perhaps he already was. After his whole world being turned upside down by Mana, the truth he was seeking and yet was in no way able to attain. Did he really want to know anyway? Being nothing more than a foundling and clown was such a dear time to him and to find out that that wasn't it, that they perhaps were something more...

Allen shook his head. He didn't want to think about it. The only good thing was that Howard Link was not constantly following him around anymore. After their victory over the level four Akuma the inspector was satisfied of Allen's loyalty, and let's face it, he wasn't going anywhere at the moment.

So here he currently was, in his room, for the first time since the Ark, peacefully alone from troublesome friends, inspectors and expectations, staring at his reflection in the mirror, which was situated right across from his bed, waiting. Waiting for what exactly he didn't know, so he just sat there looking at the shadow while it looked at him.

"So...are you going to speak?" Allen questioned. No answer followed.

"Are you even real or am I really just going crazy?" Allen sighed, exasperated. The shadow didn't speak but Allen noticed that its mouth curved up into a grin.

"Pheft, well that helps," Allen grumbled before he fell back onto his bed. "Ah, I'm so tired. Perhaps I'm not eating enough? I have been overusing my innocence lately," Allen spoke aloud to himself as he held up his arm that held his innocence above him, considering the green gem imbedded in his arm. It was then that his eye caught something in his peripheral vision. The shadow in the mirror was suddenly moving.

"Huh?" Allen slowly got back up. The shadow was beckoning him to come closer. With its arm raised up and index finger crooked he inaudibly called Allen forward.

"You want me to come closer?" Allen clarified. The shadow nodded its head. Allen got up off the bed.

Allen stood, only a meter away from the mirror and as he stared at the mirror and the ghostly shadow, Allen soon realised something.

"I can't see me..." Allen stared at the shadow, his expression demanding answers. "Why can I only see your image and not my reflection?"

The smiling shadow beckoned Allen even further forward. Allen shifted hesitantly to the edge of the mirror unconsciously placing his hand gently against the mirror trying to get a better look, and when the shadow slightly moved back, what Allen saw made his eyes widen in disbelief.

"That's...but, how?" Allen whispered, stupefied.

The mirror was no longer a reflection of Allen or his room; instead, he saw a broken pink sky, the black crescent moon and all that the landscape held were ruins. Then there was the frozen river.

"My...dream...?" Allen's gaze drew back to the shadow and then it happened. The river cracked and the shadow grabbed hold of Allen's arm that was resting on the glass.

"Ah! Let me go!" Allen demanded, panicked as he began to pull back with all his might. However, it was no use, the shadow kept pulling him forward. Allen suddenly felt his arm go cold and he froze in fear. His eyes slowly reopened and he saw his arm completely pulled through the mirror.

"No, im...pos...sible!" Allen stuttered.

"My...Allen..." the shadow cracked out as it opened its mouth.

"No! I don't want to, stop it! Please, stop!" Allen began to beg. Allen heard wings flutter behind him and his head whipped to the direction. His body now dragged in to the torso, his body growing colder by the minute.

"Timcanpy! Please, help me. Help me Timcanpy! Timcanpy!" Allen pleaded. However Timcanpy just flapped in mid air unmoving, watching the whole spectacle occurring.

"My...Timcanpy,"

Allen's head whipped back to the shadow, his eyes wide in disbelief. "Your Timcanpy?" Allen questioned in fear.

"My...Timcanpy...my...Allen..." the shadow repeated.

"No...no, no, no, no-no-no-no!" Allen shook his head over and over again. No longer was the shadow in the form a big clown with a huge coat, but it had morphed into the exact likeness of Allen. Allen's left leg was now through. Allen snapped.

"Innocence, activate! Crown Clown!" Allen exclaimed, waiting for the familiar feeling of his innocence and his heart synchronizing, having crown clown appear and wrap its protecting cloak around him. But this did not happen. His innocence remained dormant and unresponsive. Allen looked to his arm.

"Why...?" Allen voiced his hurt, and that moment of shock and confusion was all the shadow needed for that final pull of Allen into the mirror.

Allen went cold and before his eyes closed and complete darkness engulfed him Allen was able to whisper out his final words, his thoughts centred on one thing only.

"Someone, please he..."

And he was gone.

Allen awoke to the sound of voices.

"Allen, Allen-kun, may I come in?" called out a muffled voice as they knocked on a door.

Allen recognised that voice, it was Linalee-chan.

"Of course you can Linalee-chan," another voice answered. Allen's eyes snapped opened. He knew that voice. It was his own. Allen had to wait for his eyes to adjust to see anything at first, but when they finally focused, he let out a gasp of horror. Allen saw his own room before him, Linalee had just entered it and there by the bed, finishing putting on his jacket, was himself.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Linalee questioned, smiling as she entered the room.

"No, I was just finished getting changed." Allen heard 'himself' answer as he turned to Linalee. Allen noticed that before him was some sort of window and so he began banging on it madly.

"Linalee! Linalee-chan! That's not me! It's an imposter, don't listen to him!" Allen yelled out as he banged on the barrier that held him at bay. However, Linalee didn't seem to hear him, she only walked up closer to the 'imposter.'

"Allen-kun, your uniform is crooked silly. Here let me fix it for you."

"Thanks Linalee-chan, you're the best." Allen's fists slowed as he watched the exchange, seeing his trademark grin on the imposter's face.

"There, all done," Linalee declared, smiling her own smile of happiness.

"Heh, heh. Thank you. So what can I do for you?" the imposter questioned in a voice that was the exact as Allen's.

"He is me..." Allen said softly to himself. Allen suddenly recalled the last thing he remembered before waking up in here. The shadow, the shadow had turned into him and pulled him into the mirror somehow. Allen slowly looked behind him. "No," Allen whispered out. Allen was inside his dream, the landscape full of ruins, the pink sky, black crescent moon and the frozen river, no cracks present. Allen swiftly turned back to the barrier that allowed him to see the real world.

"Well, Nee-san needs to see you," Linalee answered the imposter's question.

"Oh, okay, sure no problem."

"Help me Linalee! Let me out! That's not me! Linalee please hear me! Help me Linalee, please!" Allen begged, tears in his eyes as he once again began to pound the transparent glass that held him at bay.

Linalee was currently looking around Allen's room when she noticed something. "Wow, Timcanpy has gotten so big!"

"Yeah, he is finally the size he is meant to be." Allen heard the imposter reply.

"Wow..." Linalee said, truly amazed at Timcanpy's size. He was now twice the size he use to be when he had stayed with Allen. Allen was still trying to get Linalee's attention in vain. His throat was beginning to get sore from his constant yelling.

"Well, shall we go?" The fake Allen asked.

"Sure, okay. Nee-san is in his office. You want to see the others in the dinner hall afterwards?" Linalee asked as 'Allen' escorted her out of his room.

"Absolutely! But as long as I get to eat as well."

As the imposter followed Linalee out of his room, Allen in horror saw the imposter turn his head and look directly at Allen in the mirror. A grin formed on its lips and Allen recognised the grin immediately. It was the shadow's. He brought his index finger to his mouth.

"Shhh..." he said to Allen and began to close the door behind him.

"He can see me..." Allen said shocked. That shock broken when Linalee had reached the door. Allen began to bang his fists more furiously on the boundary that held him.

"No! No, stop! Linalee! Don't leave me! Linalee! Li...na...lee..." Allen yelled, his attempts futile. Finally Allen collapsed to his knees and began to cry. "Why, why has this happened, why has this happened to me? Somebody please help me. Anybody, please...save...me...Because...I can't seem to save myself..."

It has now been days later since the event that transpired in Allen's room and still Allen remained trapped in whatever realm he was trapped in. However, now he had given up all hope. Not one of his friends had heard his pleas. Not one friend had realised that the Allen they were with, talking to, laughing with, training and eating with was an imposter.

Not one of them was suspicious at all. Nevertheless, Allen had to give it to the shadow, he played Allen perfectly. He walked like Allen, talked like Allen, ate like Allen and even spouted off the same high ideals and hope that inspired everyone around him like Allen. His act was perfect.

But Allen could not believe this to be true. How could this be true? How could someone, no something imitate him so flawlessly?

Why did no one realise this? Why did no one hear him? See him? Sense his presence? Allen had tried everything he could think of. Bashing the pane of, well, whatever the barrier was made of to see if it would break to no avail. He had tried activating his innocence, but that too did not work. His arm and innocence would stay dormant no matter how hard he tried to activate it. He had even tried talking to the imposter Allen, after all Allen assumed he could see Allen the same way Allen had seen him before, in his reflection. But the imposter, the shadow parading around as him, for some reason Allen still hadn't figured out yet, only ignored him, as Allen had ignored it before. Allen was essentially trapped with no known way out.

Allen thought it was finally his chance when the imposter needed to use activate his innocence for Supervisor Komui Lee. Allen had flared with hope knowing that this would be the moment that everybody would know it was not Allen they were with. However when that pivotal moment came, Allen watched in shock as the imposter effortless activated Crown Clown. It was in that moment that a cold hard dread settled on Allen's heart as he had slowly sunk to his knees in defeat. Not missing it for a second a sadistic grin was plastered on the imposter face as he stole a glance in Allen direction. Affirming to Allen that the imposter could see him and the anguish Allen suffered as he watched the imposter lead his life.

Yes all hope had faded from Allen. What could he do? The imposter not only acted to perfection Allen's persona but also had all of his powers as well. At one stage Allen could not take it anymore. Seeing all his friends laughing with the imposter, eating with them and hearing the same jarring insults from Kanda that were meant to be for him.

And so Allen left the barrier that displayed the 'real' world to explore the area that was now his prison. Dismayed to find that yes, it was his recurring dream. The black crescent moon hung high in the pink sky and the landscape full of nothing back dead trees and decaying ruins. The river, Allen noticed had once again frozen completely solid. And so Allen wondered, wondered aimlessly around the dimension he was trapped in, walking wherever his feet would take him, alone, confused and frightened.

How long Allen wondered like this he didn't know, it wasn't until a voice pierced the lifeless world did Allen return to his senses.

"So you've actually done it then, taken over that is."

Allen knew that unmistakable voice. Allen rushed to the reflection on the real world and what he saw made his hope flare up light a bright signal in the darkest of nights.

"Master..." Allen whispered out as he plastered his face against the barrier. The shadow in Allen's body had just entered Allen's room. Jumping in shock at Cross's voice, as Cross magically appeared sitting quite comfortably in the room's only chair, Maria by his side.

"Oh! Why, good evening master. What are you doing here?" The imposter eeped out in astonishment.

"You can drop the act clown, I know it's you." Was Cross's immediate reply, as he took a long drag of his cigarette.

The imposter smiled, dropping the Allen act immediately, his whole demeanour changed. "Well, can't pull the wool over your eyes it seems."

"I know my idiot apprentice when I see him. Besides, Timcanpy is a dead given away for those who truly know about him," Cross answered, in his 'I know all voice.'

Timcanpy, who had been flying above the imposter Allen, settled himself down on the imposter's head. "Yes, I suppose he is, my Timcanpy. You've taken good care of him all these years, my thanks."

"Whatever, it's just about time you got here, here's hoping you are more useful than last time." Cross snorted. Allen sat there watching the whole conversation in muted shock. Cross knew the person in front of wasn't Allen, and yet he did nothing about it, acting as if he had expected it to happen.

The imposter's smile dropped and the air turned quite serious around him, his demeanour changing to someone of importance who was pissed off. Pointing at Cross the imposter spoke, "Don't take that tone with me Marian Cross. Useful? Don't forget it was I, who trapped the Ark in Edo and that it was I, that taught you your sorcery and how to use two forms of innocence. It is because of I and I alone that you have the grave of Maria. Although heavens knows why you chose your own wife. And just as I have given with one hand, I can take with the other! Useful!" he scoffed.

Allen couldn't believe what he was hearing, that his master was taught his magic by the imposter, and that it was the imposter that showed him how to turn his very own wife into an anti-Akuma weapon. Allen couldn't understand it all. He didn't even know that Cross had a wife.

Cross for a moment had a look of distress on his face before he closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Forgive me Fourteenth-sama. I'm just concerned about the boy, that's all. I put so much work into him."

Allen's jaw dropped. He had never seen his master act in such away. Allen didn't even think Cross had it in him. But when Cross called the imposter the 'Fourteenth' everything seemed to click into place for Allen. The shadow had taken over his body and the shadow was the Fourteenth, the Noah who had betrayed the Earl of Millennium and was killed for it. But if that was him, what was he doing here, alive and in possession of his body. Allen's mind reeled, but still he paid attention to the conversation. He remembered the Fourteenth in the secret room in the Ark, but with not able to talk with Master, Allen never knew what it all meant.

"Ha! That is a first coming from the likes of you Marian Cross. However, it is not my fault you and my dear deceased brother Mana did not tell the boy who, or really what the boy is." The imposter now revealed as truly being the Fourteenth shot back, the scorn thick in his voice, leading the conversation on as he occasionally took quick glances at Allen, currently plastered to the mirror's surface.

"We, Mana and I, had decided it was better off that he never knew. The innocence that I imbedded in his arm needed to fully and properly mature by his own will and heart. Knowing the truth about his origins would have prevented that." Cross answered flippantly, his remorseful attitude completely dropped.

"Yes, well being one of the great Marian Cross's lab rats would have shot the boy down. However, I must say your experiment was indeed a great success. I am quite please with the clone you have made for me." The Fourteenth answered, twisting around to 'check out' the body he now fully possessed.

"Embedded innocence? Lab rat? Clone?" Allen whispered to himself, not following what they were saying but knew that it all related to him somehow.

"So I have satisfied my end of our agreement then?" Cross questioned, taking another drag of the almost finished cigarette.

"Yes, yes. In exchange for teaching you the forbidden art of the magicians and the knowledge of saving your poor wife, although turning her into a weapon instead was quite callous Cross my boy, ha, ha, ha," As the Fourteenth laughed as he danced around the room with an otherworldly grace. An image of a clown appeared in Allen's mind as he watched scene unfolding before him. The Fourteenth began to spin as if he was on a ball before he continued on. "You, Marian Cross would create a vessel, an almost exact clone of myself, embedded with innocence, to contain my memories and hence carry out my final will."

"No!" Allen croaked in disbelief. "It's not true, it can't be true." Allen began to shake his head. How could he believe it, that he wasn't a person but a clone, artificially created by his master, not chosen by God, but forcefully born with the innocence inside of him, in the form of his arm. Created only to accommodate the thing that had control of his body now. Allen doubled over, sliding down to his knees as he couldn't hold his weight up any longer, he felt sick with the thought.

"I won't believe it! I had parents, real parents that loved me and took care of me, before their deaths," Allen told himself as he tried to recall any memories he had that were of his parents. But none came. Mana taking him in was his earliest memory he could recall.

"Allen was my greatest work. It took countless attempts, but that is in the past now. How did you manage to do it anyway, fully take him over that is?" Cross asked, curious as he knew Allen had such a strong will and determination. Cross was actually quite shocked to see that the Fourteenth had emerged completely and so quickly after the Ark incident.

"My, my, my...we are concerned aren't we? Well it was easy actually. The Ark was the catalyst, the memories, my memories, my essence needed to be fully awakened to control the Ark. The notes Mana and I had written were my key. Afterwards I only had to wait patiently for the defensive walls in Allen's mind to weaken, and weaken they did. Recently his constant use of Innocence and the traumatic emotional rollercoaster he has been on fully took a toll on the poor boy. He had grown tired and therefore weak. I took my chance and I won." The Fourteenth explained, as if he was acting in some sort of Shakespearean play, his glee displayed in only a way a clown could show.

"So, he is really gone then?" Cross asked solemnly, dubbing his finished cigarette out.

"No, no, no, nonononononono..." Allen said to himself over and over again, covering his ears with his palms as he tried to block out what they were saying. He couldn't take any more of it, didn't want to know any more of it. He could barely take the betrayal and hurt of Mana, but to hear this from his Master, the only solid thing he had known in his past, to face this kind of betrayal was unbearable.

The Fourteenth dropped all of his dramatic poses and faced Cross. "Almost. But why do you care? Our plan, or really your plan because you were the one to come up with it, worked and both of us got what we wanted."

"I suppose," Cross agreed, sounding really tired all of a sudden.

"Feeling guilty are we?" The Fourteenth's face lit up, turning the possessed body of Allen's face a twisted mockery of glee. Cross couldn't bear to look at his former apprentice's body, seeing it twisted in such a way that wasn't like the real Allen at all.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha! I get it now. So that's why you've always distanced yourself from the boy, made him do all the awful things for you, live such a hard life?" The Fourteenth rationalised, his index finger at his lip, the grin plastered on his face, as if he knew all.

"It was to make him stronger!"Cross exclaimed, banging his fist down on the table beside him.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure. But let us not lie to each other. I know you Marian Cross. You did so you hoped the boy would hate you, so that when this very day would come, as you knew it would, you wouldn't care about what would happen to him, to poor little Allen. Why you distanced yourself from him. After all, we both know that I am a bit suicidal! Hahahaha!" the Fourteenth laughed, prancing around the room in a way that only clowns could pull off.

At the Fourteenth's words, Allen's head popped up, and a small hope rose back up in Allen, as Allen thought that his master did actually care about him.

"Master, please say that you care. Please hear me somehow and help me. Please don't leave me." Allen prayed out to his master.

Cross got up off the chair and began to walk to the door. "Come on Maria, we are leaving this Hellhole."

The Fourteenth glanced at the mirror to see Allen plastered to the glass looking at Cross with hope as tears threatened to fall onto his cheeks. The Fourteenth grinned maliciously. "What, leaving again so soon? I thought you cared about Allen. Don't you want him back?" he questioned so very innocently.

Cross paused at the door. "No... I never have, nor never will care about Allen Walker. I only came to insure our deal was done. Do what you want with the body I made for you; just don't stuff it up this time. The fat-ass is really starting to piss me off," and with that said Cross disappeared from sight.

"Hahahaha! Daddy dearest will be so shocked when he sees me again. Yes, this time I won't fail. Earl of Millennium, hahahahah, I shall be destroyer of time itself!" The Fourteenth stopped his cackling laughter and walked over to the mirror, to Allen. Allen had dropped down off the pane that held him at bay and was now curled up, his head buried into his knees as he cried. His whole world shattered in an instant.

"That's it my precious, cry, let it all out," the Fourteenth soothed.

Allen looked up at his own softly smiling form. "Tell me it's not true. It can't be true..." Allen whimpered softly.

"Oh but it is. You heard it yourself, what you actually are and that Cross doesn't care about you, he never did. Not even your so called friends know you are gone from their lives. They don't even realise, and therefore had never truly cared for you, not like you did. No one cares about you, not even my brother Mana did. It was ever only about me and now it's time for the little boy to sleep."

Allen's heart was breaking, he suddenly realised what the Noah was asking of him. "But I, I don't want to disappear," Allen sobbed.

"My poor broken little doll. We all have to play our parts in this big top circus we call Earth. Your act was perfect, everyone loved it, but you're finished now, and the show must go on. It is time for the main act to start. The main clowns to take their positions, I have unfinished business to attend to, the dance between the Earl of Millennium and I is not finished. Your Lacrimosa is here, we made it for you, just for you. You hold the melody. Perform for us, your last dance, make the audience proud!"

The Fourteenth disappeared and Allen was left alone, darkness was all around him until a single large spotlight shone down upon Allen.

"Ladies and gentlemen! For your enjoyment tonight, may we present one of the stars from our show, dancing his last performance for tonight, Allen Walker!"

Allen stood and took his position, fully dressed in Crown Clown, the mask adorning his face and then Allen heard it, faintly at first, but then it grew into a resonance that it surrounded him in its totality. It was the song he played on the Ark. Allen the clown of The Clown then began to dance his very last dance as the song was sung.

"And then the boy falls asleep.

The flame inside the breathing ashes. One, then two.

The floating swelling, the dear profile.

Thousands of dreams, dreams, that pour down onto the Earth.

On the night when the silver eyes swing. The shining you, who was born.

Millions of years.

No matter how many millions of years, return the prayers to Earth.

I continue praying.

Love for the last.

And then the boy falls asleep.

The flame inside the breathing ashes.

One, then two. The floating swelling, the dear profile.

Thousands of dreams, dreams, that pour down onto the Earth.

On the night when the silver eyes swing.

The shining you, who was born.

No matter how many millions of years, return the prayers to Earth.

I continue praying. Love for the last.

Kiss for the joined hands.

And then the boy falls asleep..."

The song stopped and Allen finished, a single spotlight was all that shown down at him, its circumference growing smaller and smaller. Allen bowed, and the image of all the people he called friends flashed vividly in his mind. Master Cross, the Asian branch science department, Fou, Bak Chan, Lo Fwa, Li Kei, Sammo Han Wong, and Shifu. Then the main head quarters science department, Reever, Johnny, 65 and Tapp, as well as the finders he had met in his life, like Toma and then there was Jeryy. Komui was next followed by Chouji, Miranda, Krory, Bookman, Lavi, Kanda and finally Linalee. Allen's short but happy life flashing practically before his eyes. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, but the smile on his face was a happy one.

"Goodbye, everyone..." The spotlight shut off.

And the applause was thunderous...

A/N: First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my fic, I really appreciate it. Second, I would really love to hear your comments, questions or thoughts on the fic, so if you have the time, send a review, or a PM message, I would love to hear from you.

And third, for those who have not watched the Anime, the song that was sung, is the song from the Ark, when Allen plays the piano to restore and control the Ark. Episode 93 is the best episode to see if you want to hear it. It's pretty good, makes more sense in Japanese though.