Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Twilight Series. That belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter One

I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. The same thing I have been doing for the past thirty years. Staring at the ceiling and tracing the lines that flowed to the wall. Hoping that just for a few hours I would forget. Forget the pain and forget the loneliness that was my constant friend. Even just thinking about the gaping hole in my chest made me remember his face and his words. I would never forget them. Thanks to becoming a vampire my mind worked on a different level and I could remember every word he said with crystal clarity. Edward. The name I had been trying to forget.

I rolled over onto my stomach and knew I would have cried if I could. I had hoped against hope that he would come back to me and tell me that everything he said and felt was a lie. I stayed in Forks for ten years after he left me, but he never came back. He had told me that the love he felt had diminished since he changed me. In truth I believed him. It was the things about me that were human that he feel in love with. The need to be protected, the beat of my heart, the blush on my cheeks, and my blood. The things that he would never see or hear again. All of those things disappeared when I was changed and I was as strong as he was.

He had been kind about the situation, but I felt the change in him. He stayed with me even though I knew it hurt him to be with the version of the girl he used to love. I knew he couldn't stand it anymore when he took me to our meadow. The meadow that we had loved so much when I was human. His words replayed in my mind as if in a video.

"Bella." His velvety voice sounded like honey and air. He pulled me down next to him to sit in the sweet smelling grass. His hand, surprisingly warm, stroked my cheek and brushed the hair behind my ear. I looked deep into his golden eyes and saw the same expression that I had been seeing for months. The look of pain and regret. Regret about me. I knew the conversation before he even had to say anything. "Bella, we both know what's going on. You were the love of my life. The one person that gave my life meaning. But now...now it's different. When I changed you we lost part of what we were together and I just don't know how to get it back, if we can even get it back." I looked down at his hands sparkling in the sun and wished I could bring him back to me. I knew that nothing I could say would change his mind. I knew he would leave. "Edward" I breathed slowly wishing I could hold him here for eternity. "Please don't do this. Please don't leave me. I love you." The pain in his eyes only intensified. He placed a feather light kiss on my forehead and whispered so softly into my ear. "Goodbye Bella".

The years passed slowly for me after that. I stayed with the Cullen's, but I couldn't stand the look of pity in their beautiful eyes anymore. My family. I had left them ten years after Edward left. They had tried to be positive for me, but I knew the strain it was having on them. On the one hand they loved me as a daughter and a sister, but the other part of them missed their son and brother. The one who had been with them for so long. I finally decided to leave them and try to find my own way. I moved around a lot. I spent a few years in Denali with Tanya and her family. I went to the University of Alaska and finished college. When I finished I decided to leave again. I spent years wandering Europe, Africa, Asia. I even visited the Volturi in Italy hoping to find an escape. They offered me a place with them which I accepted. However after a few years I couldn't escape the guilt that went with carrying out their missions. They had no regard for life, be it immortal or mortal. So, I parted on good terms with Aro, Marcus, and Cauis. They checked in on me every once and a while offering my position back, but I politely declined every time.

It was only last year that I decided to go back to college and try to settle into some kind of normal life. I missed having a regular home to come to. I wanted to be out and around life. So, I enrolled in Dartmouth and found myself a house a few hours away from campus. It was a bit of a drive, but it provided me with the best opportunities to hunt. I have stuck to Carlisle's diet and haven't lost my focus to his mission. Even if I was away from my family I still wanted to make him proud. Which was why I decided to go to medical school. I hoped that I could make some kind of difference with my life, I hoped that it would give me some kind of meaning. So, with those thoughts I got up off my bed and reached for the phone.

I dialed the number and waited for someone to answer the phone. I didn't have to wait long at all because the phone was picked up on the first ring. "Bella, Bella. I knew you were going to call today." Alice's chipper voice rang in my ear. "So, starting college soon. Carlisle told me to tell you that he couldn't be happier that you are going into medicine and that if you need any help he would be happy to come out there and assist you." I smiled knowing that the family still cared about me after all these years. "Actually Alice, I was calling to see how you all were doing." I could almost hear the speed of her mind as she tried to figure out what to tell me first. "Well, Bella dear I was hoping you would say that because we will be pulling into your driveway in about five minutes, so I hope you are ready to see us." With that said she hung up the phone and I was listening to the buzzing dial tone. I took a quick look around my house and didn't see anything out of order, so I walked out to stand on the front porch.

I hadn't seen the Cullens in almost ten years. I generally talked to them every couple months, but I had tried to stay away from seeing them as much as possible. I was always afraid that he would be there with them. Alice told me that he visits every other month and checks in every few weeks. So, hopefully he wouldn't be with them. I hadn't seen him since that day in the meadow and I was relieved I saw that his car wasn't one of them. He liked Volvo's and got a new one with each model that came out, or so Alice had told me on the rare occasions that we talked about him.

The four cars pulled up to a stop in front of the house. A midnight black Mercedes, Carlisle and Esme of course. A red Bentley, obviously Rose and Emmett. She loved red cars. They were her addiction. A yellow Porsche, Alice never got over her love of those cars. The last car that pulled in was a black Mclaren Mercedes. This was a car I had never seen with the family before and wasn't sure who it belonged to. As I contemplated this I caught a scent I wasn't familiar with.

Esme and Carlisle jumped out of the car and caught me up in a tight hug. I had missed Esme's mothering so much over the years. She kissed me on the cheek and held her hand to her chest and sighed. "Oh sweetheart, It is so good to see you after all this time. You never come home anymore." Her caring voice was so tender and filled with love that I couldn't help but squeeze her to me again. She smiled at me and stepped out of the way so Carlisle could get to me. He pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed my forehead. "My darling daughter. We have missed you so much." I was wrenched out of his embrace and captured by another set of arms. Strong muscled arms that squeezed only tighter. "Bella, my little sister. It has been to long." I looked up into the Emmett's child like face and laughed. He hadn't changed in all these years. He released me from his bear like grip and I stood face to face with his unbelievably stunning wife Rosalie. She embraced me warmly and smiled a genuine smile at me. Her voice rang out with a melody, " It has been too long my dear sister." The friendship that had developed between Rosalie and I was fantastic. Much more than a friendship, she was my true sister. I was getting ready to greet her back when Alice walked up. I expected to see her holding onto Jasper, but she was with someone new.

She danced to a stop in front of me. I still felt jealously at how graceful she was. Unfortunately when I changed I didn't completely lose my clumsiness. I still tripped on occasions and bumped into things. Her soft voice danced with laughter as she hugged me to her. "Bella, this is my friend Will. I hope you don't mind me bringing him." He stepped forward and extended his hand out to me. "Hello Bella, it is a pleasure to meet you." I looked at Alice with confusion probably written all over my face. "I will explain later." She said so low I was sure only the three of us heard it.

Jasper got out of the fourth car and walked over to me. Alice and Will quietly disappeared into the house with the others. I hugged him warmly happy to see him. Jasper had always been quiet, but there was something new to him. He looked a bit haunted and I guess I knew the reason why. "Hey Jazz. Its wonderful to see you." He attempted a smile for me. It wasn't much, but I knew how he felt. He probably didn't have it in him to pretend anymore. I felt the same way.

We walked into the living room where everyone was sitting on the couches. Emmett being Emmett was complaining about the lack of video games and televisions. Rose was checking her reflection in the mirror. Alice and Will were no where to be seen. I was pretty sure I heard the clothes in my closet being thrown away. She never did like my choice of clothing. Esme and Carlisle were just sitting there taking in the location. Jasper wandered over to a corner chair and sat down. After not seeing them all in so long I was happy to be in the same room with them surrounded by their love.

I proceeded to show them the house. It wasn't big. I never really liked extravagance, but I did like comfort. The house was two stories with five bedrooms and five bath. I had decorated it in varying shades of beige and white. The thing that sold me on the house was the view. The back of the house was not unlike the Cullen's home in Forks. The majority of the back of the house was glass, so it offered me a fantastic view of the forest. Esme seemed to fall in love with the house and continued to tell me about a home she was restoring in New York. An old victorian that was in serious need of renovation and inhabitants. Of course she reminded me that I had a home as well as a bedroom there.

I was about to show them the kitchen when Alice flew down the stairs to grab my hands. "Bella I would have thought that after all of these years you would have learned at least something from me. My darling sister, you know what this means don't you?" With those word I saw Will walk down the stairs with large black garbage bags full of what I was sure were my clothes. He smiled apologetically at me and took them outside. I sighed at Alice positive of what she wanted to do. She laughed at me and started to drag me out the door. "Alice, that was really unnecessary. You know, my clothes really aren't that bad. I don't see why we have to do this every time I see you." She smiled at me and pulled me into her car. "Silly Bella, I can't let you go to school like that. We are going shopping to find you something more suitable." Her smile was contagious and I found myself smiling with her.

We drove half of the way in silence. I wasn't much of a talker, so this didn't really surprise Alice. I looked at her face and it seemed she was practically bouncing off of her seat with something she needed to tell me. Of course, Will. Something was going on. "Well, Alice, I see there is a new addition to the family. Would you like to fill me in?" She turned to look at me and her teeth flashed in the sunlight. "I thought you would never ask. Now, please don't jump to conclusions about everything. I saw Will in a vision a few years ago. I had seen him being attacked, and I new I had to save him." She looked out the window obviously caught up in a memory. "I got there in just enough time. I brought him home and Carlisle changed him for me." She looked down and I caught a glimpse of sadness in her expression. She turned to look at me. "Bella, when I saw him in my vision I knew that things were going to change. As you know, Jasper and I have been together for such a long time, but when I saw him in my vision, I knew that he was the one for me. Time stopped and everything about me shifted around him. I told Jasper what I had seen and asked him for his forgiveness, and of course Jasper being the gentlemen that he is told me he understood." She looked back at me again with joy in her eyes. "When he was changed I couldn't tell you the happiness that I found. I felt complete. I found the part of myself that I had never known that I was missing." I thought on this for a minute, then I shoved her in the shoulder. "And after all this time you never thought that you should tell me?" She laughed with me and grinned. "Oh Bella, if I could only tell you the things I have seen." Unsure of what she was talking about I just laughed.

Six hours later we walked out of the mall loaded down with bags. I probably had enough clothes that I would be able to throw an outfit away right after I wore it. Of course I couldn't resist replacing my sweats. But Alice being Alice made me put them back and found an alternative. Juicy tracksuits. I hated to admit it, but they were very comfortable. We drove back to the house and walked in to see everyone sitting around a brand new flat screen television playing video games. My family. I had missed them.