A.I. FINALE BONUS CHAPTER!!
No, really.
After posting the last chapter of A.I., I received a review from 'if we all lived in closets', which read:
"...too bad we didn't get to hear from Ame-chan again. Do you think she or someone else could submit a review? To comemmorate the last chapter?"
And I thought about it.
And then, in the end, I decided to write a review from Ame's point of view.
And, after a little more deliberation, I wrote some more reviews.
And now I'm here, trying to explain exactly why you're reading a bonus chapter of seven completely silly reviews, on a story which I effectively closed earlier this week. Ahem.
...
In order of appearance, the reviews have been "written" by: Ame Hirokawa, Narita Agata, Misa Amane, Light Yagami, Hiroshi (cough - L - cough) Toyama, Nate 'Near' River and Mihael 'Mello' Keehl.
DISCLAIMER: For the last time, this isn't mine!
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REVIEW #1: AME-CHAN
Dear Poopy-face writer man,
I am Ame-chan, and I really think your story is really stupid. I don't even get why half of the things in your story even happen so it must be really stupid. Light-chan and Misa-chan shouldn't have been the main characters because they aren't even like main characters. Light-chan is kind of hot a bit but he isn't even really all that good, and Misa-chan is a stupid ugly bitch who isn't even really that cute either. I totally think they stink.
And before I even say it, you made me really weird. What was with all the big letters? I don't even know what you're talking about because I really don't even talk like that at all. And you know, I'm the only one in your whole story that doesn't say my name right, I think, because I put too many 'A's in it when I'm saying it. I have one 'A' in my name, and I know that, so your story is stupid.
And what was that weird gay man about? That camera man person? Why did you even put him in? Was there a point? He wasn't even hot, and Takeshi wasn't even hot too. All of the men in this story aren't hot enough, like Manager-san and the old man and other ugly people that were really gross and ugly and fat and disgusting and ugly.
So, lastly, I think your story is really shit, and you shouldn't have written it. I didn't even get to be with anyone hot, so your story is stupid and you're gay. I don't like you, and I'm going to so really sue you for saying bad stuff about me, don't think I won't because I will, and I know people, okay? You aren't going to have any money because I'm going to sue you for having a bad story, and then I'll win.
love,
Ame-chan!
xoxox
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REVIEW #2: NARITA-SAN
Dear FFYP-det-Yagami,
You know, I've just been reading your story. You see, I like fanfiction, and I saw your story, and I thought I'd give it a try - and anyway, Misa had been saying how good your story was, and she's usually quite good at these things (she's introduced me to some really good films and books, so... you know).
So, anyway, I took a look at it - and gosh, it's reeally long, isn't it? You must be proud! - and I've got to say that Misa was absolutely right. This story is wonderful, and, ooh. Ooh, yes, I especially liked that bit in the bath, even though you missed out the good bits (if you know what I mean). Of course, I know that I should probably be complaining about how I should be in it a little more, but I don't really mind - I'm not reading these stories to see ME in them, anyway. Where would the fun be in that? No, I think the story being about Light and Misa was really good.
I have a question, though. Seeing that Light ends up going back to Misa at the end (not sure whether I'm happy with that ending - he had at least one other person he could have called upon if he was feeling lonely...), does that mean that their little plans about making their first 'night' together actually happen, or do they start over? Perhaps you should have included that part as the epilogue or something. But, of course, I'm not the expert on these things. I'm definitely not a writer - all that slaving away with words would just BORE me to TEARS - so I'll leave all those little technical doohickeys up to you, okay?
Okay. Now, I've got to run - I've left Misa dangling off the edge of a chaise longue and I simply MUST take a couple of personal snaps before the mood's gone!
Kisses,
Agata Narita
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REVIEW #3: MISA-MISA
Hello again FFYP-det-Yagami!
At first I thought the ending of your story was really sad, because it didn't seem like it actually finished.
Then, you updated again! I mean, where were you? You left your story for TWO MONTHS, you know, and that's a long time. You shouldn't keep a girl waiting this long! XD
But anyway, the first last chapter was kind of creepy, and then the second one was horrible because Misa had to go away from Light, and then... well, the last last chapter was weird, but Misa got Light back in the end! Were you inspired by the story Misa wrote? I bet you were!
So yes. You should write a sequel to this, called... called something that isn't so long and weird. Alternate Incubation is a strange name for a story. Don't worry though - Misa forgives you! And yes, you can write a sequel about what happens when Misa and Light get married and have some babies and... other stuff. And it'd be really fun! If you want, Misa can help you write it! Misa is a good writer.
Love,
xXx Misa-Misa xXx
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REVIEW #4: LIGHT YAGAMI
FFYP-det-Yagami.
Delete the final chapter and I might not decide to kill you.
I mean it.
Regards,
L. Yagami
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REVIEW #5: L LAWLIET
Exactly as planned.
Thank you for your compliance, FFYP-san.
Hiroshi Toyama
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REVIEW #6: NATE RIVER
Near again.
Glad to see that you've BOTHERED to update your fanfic.
Congratulations on completing the story.
It still wasn't that good.
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REVIEW #7: MIHAEL KEEHL
I saw Near typing something on his computer, and I figured he was writing an overall review for your story.
And, of course, I don't want to upset the fans out there, reading this stuff...
To be honest, I haven't read the last couple of chapters. I didn't care about what happened after I reviewed the last time, and I thought this story had died not long after. Still, to my surprise, you really did continue to churn out more pointless chapters. I congratulate you for your perseverance, but do you really think that anyone was READING that stuff?
Sorry, but you're sadly mistaken.
I've just skimmed over the last few chapters of the story, and all I can say is that I'm glad you stopped where you did. Have you read those fanfics that go on and on forever? I mean, who has the time to read those?
Anyway, I don't care about your story, and I don't care if you keep writing or not. Just remember that if you're writing a story, you have to WRITE it rather than let it sit there for months on end.
P.S. To all those fans out there - just to shatter your dreams, Matt is NOT sucking any part of my anatomy whilst I'm writing this. Now stop writing yaoi about us, please.
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Author's Note: Yeah, okay, so you're all probably sick of this story by now - but really, if anyone wants to ask any questions, or request something, or even just mention something to inadvertently give me an amusing idea for what to write (again, thanks, 'if we all lived in closets'!) - I really don't mind. Ask away!