A/N: This really my first batman fanfiction so please bare with me!

Disclaimer: I do not own Batman or any of it's characters!

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Standing in his common position on top of the high buildings in Gotham, Batman looked down over the city. The night had been abnormally quiet tonight. Bruce had heard a few car chases and saw an attempted robbery but the police seemed to have everything covered. He wanted to hope that maybe tonight, he'd be able to take a break and get some sleep. Staring up at the dark, gray clouds hanging in the sky, Batman knew that it was not going to happen. He needed to stay alert at all times and be prepared for the worst.

Almost on cue, a bright light shone from one of the buildings in Gotham. The light was stopped by the clouds, revealing the bat signal. With a strong push, Batman jumped off the edge of the building and glided down to the searchlight. There stood Gordon, with his hands in his pockets. He looked satisfied to see that Batman arrived.

"What's the problem?" Batman asked in his deep voice.

"We have a situation." Gordon pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "The Joker has held the theatre downtown hostage. All of the audience, cast and crew are all trapped in the building."

Bruce stared at him with a confused look through the cowl. "Why couldn't the police take care of it?"

"They barricaded all of the doors. Just when we were about to break them down, we found this tape." Gordon took his hands out of his pocket and raised his right, showing a tape recorder. He pushed down the play button and let Batman listen to it.

"I want the Batman here! I want him to come see my show!" The Joker's voice happily laughed. "Only the Batman! If he does not come by midnight or officers follow him, I'll blow this place up! I'll light up the sky!" He insanely giggled. Batman could hear a few cries in the background. The tape then clicked and went silent.

The Commissioner and the Detective stared at each other for a few seconds. While Bruce was lost in his own thoughts, Gordon stood still, waiting for an answer. After moments of silence, Gordon sighed. "Well?"

"I don't have much of a choice." Batman replied in his grizzly voice. "Have your men surround the building at 12:30. Hopefully, taking care of this clown won't take me more than a half an hour."

The man in the cape turned to the ledge of the building when Gordon made a last comment. "You might want to hurry. It's ten till." Batman gave a quick nod and dove off the building.

Gliding in the air once again, Bruce wondered how he was going to get to the theatre so quickly. He did not have the Batpod with him, it would take Alfred too long to get out here and it was not like he could call a taxi or something. His best bet would be gliding, though Bruce hadn't done it for as long as he was right now.

It took his eight minutes to fly to the theatre. Landing on the roof, Bruce prayed that the Joker had not decided to act early. He looked around, trying to find an entrance when he noticed something writing on the gravel of the roof. "THIS WAY." It read it red paint, with a large arrow pointing off the building.

Bruce jumped down, landing with a small grunt. Right as he landed, he saw more writing in paint. They read the same thing but the arrows pointed in a different direction. Following the arrows, Bruce questioned if it was safe to follow the Joker's directions. For all he knew, it could lead him to some death trap. Of course he was going to need to be cautious while falling into a maniacs trap.

All of the arrows led him to a normal side door. Like all the other messages, "OPEN ME!" was painted in red on the door. He opened the door and walked in, only to the have the door slam itself shut. The area around him was pitch dark. Bruce growled to himself. Did he walk into a horror film?

Attempting to search the area, Batman found more messages glowing neon green in the dark. He had to admit, the Joker seemed to put much more effort in this one than he normally did in all of his other crimes. The glow-in-the-dark messages said the same thing as the ones outside. Growing tired of the Joker's game, he lazily followed.

After walking for a minute, Bruce spotted a large splash of glow-in-the-dark paint ahead of him. Had the Joker killed the guy painting and it spilled everywhere. Batman ran to the spot. Standing on top of the paint splotch, Bruce discovered that it was a skull and crossbones.

Before he could do anything, Bruce felt a misty substance spray into his face. He sank to his knees just as bright spotlight shone down on him. "Ladies and Gentlemen! Our other actor has finally arrived! We can now start the show!" Batman heard the Joker shout happily. Another spotlight revealed the Joker standing on top of a large platform. The light also allowed Batman to see where he was.

Bruce was on the main stage, looking out at the hundreds of hostages. He opened his mouth to shout something but all that came out was a loud groan. To his horror, Bruce found that he could not move at all. His arms and legs remained in the same place, no matter how hard he fought. Joker must have sprayed him with a short-term paralysis drug.

All he could do was look around. The audience did not seem to be tied down but they all still looked horrified. That was when he noticed men standing at each door with guns. Also, there were men on each side of the stage. Allowing his head to tilt back slightly, he spotted a man on the catwalk with an RPG. That could defiantly be a problem.

"Let's begin!"

More lights faded on, showing a downtown building set. The buildings were all different heights, though the one the Joker was on was only about ten feet. The rest of the "city" was shown by a backdrop. Bruce did not remember the original play being showed here having all this city stuff. The Joker really did prepare for this. What was he planning on doing with him?

"Tonight, we will be telling you classic tale of the Thief and the Detective!" Bruce noticed the look of confusion on everyones face, though no one made a sound. "And with a bonus, at the end, Batman's secret identity will be revealed!" He cackled. The Joker stood atop the platform with a wide grin on his face, occasionally licking his lips.

The lights all faded back down but one spotlight on the Joker. "Let's start with an introduction. For a while now, the Detective had been chasing the Thief. It had all started when he stole a little thing from the bank and since, they had been chasing each other. Soon, the two began to realize that the Detective chased the Thief to put him in prison but the Thief also chased after the Detective. He craved the others attention, hoping that he'd someday see him more than just a Thief."

The Joker jumped off his platform, landing terribly. Bruce winced. Most would have sprained their ankles jumping from that height. Yet, the Joker walked over to him with no limp. Was the man even human? "He stole things for attention but the Detective was so hard-headed, he payed no attention to it."

For the first time, Bruce noticed how calm the Joker had been sounding during his narration. It reminded him of when Gordon had told him that the Joker had a "taste for the theatrical, just like himself". The skinny man pushed back his green curls as he stepped closer.

Bruce clenched his fists to see that he could move his hands. Hopefully, the spray would wear off quicker than it seemed like it was.

"The Detective chased after the Thief but every time he got close, the Thief would get farther away." Unexpectedly, the floor Batman had been sitting on began to rise. The Joker let out a happy giggle, seeing the Bat's surprised expression. "The Thief would not let himself get caught until the Detective realized his intentions."

"Why are you doing this?" Bruce growled. It had meant to be louder but he was just regaining control of his mouth again.

The Joker had still heard it. "Why am I doing this?" He laughed, brushing his purple sleeves with his white gloves. "They should know the story."

Batman slowly shook his head. "Why do you want to do this in front of them? I thought you just wanted to know my identity."

The Joker's expression turned to a glare for a few seconds. He knew the audience couldn't hear since the Bat did not have a microphone on him. "Batsy! I want everyone to know who you are!" He said happily. "Now, now. Don't interrupt my story! Let me finish, Honey." His lively green eyes twinkled.

Clearing his throat, the Joker faced the audience again. "As the two got closer, they realized that they both wore masks." His voice was soft again. Batman found it calming as he listened to the clown tell his story. He felt his eyelids drifting down. He began to debate with himself with what he was supposed to do. He could just let everything pass and wake up in police custody. Then again, if he let himself fall asleep, the Joker would reveal who he was to everyone.

Bruce shook his head and opened his eyes. The Joker was still going. "The Detective wore a mask to hide who he was while the Thief wore a mask to create an identity for himself. The two reasons were actually very similar."

He didn't know how much longer he could take of this. Just sitting there, listening to the Joker go on and on while he could not do a thing. He stretched out his fingers and brought then back into a fist. He was slowly gaining his movement again.

Luckily, the Joker got lost in his own world for the next few minutes. As he continued his narration and jumped from building to building, some henchmen played extras, running around and doing their own things. Batman began to be able to flex his toes and bend his legs. He attempted to push himself up a few times but none were successful.

"In many ways, it was obvious that they were made for each other." The Joker smiled widely, the scars on his mouth making it look even scarier. "Yet, there-" Bruce watched as one of Joker's men ran up to him and whispered something in his ear. The Joker's face turned sour at once. "How the hell did you guys let them in, you idiots?" The Joker pulled out a knife from his long purple jacket. "I'm sorry to announce to you all," He spoke to the audience. "but we have some visitors and our show is going to be cancelled."

The Joker jumped on the platform where Bruce had been sitting. A rope dropped from the rafters and the Joker quickly tied it around their waists and had his men pull them up. Right as they got to their safe hiding spot, the doors around the theatre burst open. Cops took down the Joker's men, meanwhile all of the hostages dashed out the door.

The Joker sighed, glancing at the henchmen who had been watching from the top. "What is it?" he hissed through his yellow teeth.

"Why did you bring him up here?"

"I'm not finished with him." He told his slave. "Go do lookout." He waved him away, giving him the 'leave now or I'll kill you' look. The man jumped, grabbed his rocket launcher and ran off.

Now alone, the Joker looked down at the captured bat. "Well, Batsy, what do you plan to do now?" He leaned down to look at his features.

"Kick your ass." Batman's fist flew up, making hard contact with the Joker's cheek. He jumped back and put his fists up. Batman still did not have complete control of his limbs and everything around him swayed and he was not as fast as he wanted to be. But he would have to manage.

"Oh, Bats." The Joker giggled and began walking towards him. "Why must you cause trouble? I just want to play." He grabbed the armored man by the shoulders and flung him down. Batman moaned in pain from the impact. The Joker leaned over him and pinned him down.

"Wh-What are you doing?" Bruce fought to say. The Joker was growing closer to him. He tried to lift his arms to push the man away but he couldn't.

"Shhhhh... Just relax." The Joker laughed, closing the gap between the two.

Bruce smelled the makeup on the Joker's face. It was all he could concentrate on. He was confused, wondering why in the world the Joker was kissing him. He felt the Joker's tongue pushing against his mouth and glared at the Joker. In frustration, the Joker backed away, licking his lips. "You're tasty, Batsy. I'd love to have a better taste." He smirked.

"What makes you think I would do anything for you? Especially something so digusting as kissing you."

"Aww, you don't hate it, Bats. I actually think you would like it more if you opened up." The Joker smiled at Batman's shudder as he felt the Joker's knee rub slowly on his crotch. "Come on." He bent down and kissed Batman again. He continued to fight past the detective's lips. The Joker growled in frustration, having no luck. Keeping one of his hands on the larger man's shoulder, the other glided down to crotch and began to trace circles on the fabric.

Bruce gasped but quickly regretted it. The Joker chuckled in his mouth, gaining access to go deeper into the Bat's. He moaned, trying to get Batman to respond somehow. He ran his free hand across the Bat's body, trying to get some reaction.

That is, until they were interrupted. "Boss, they're com-" He froze in place.

The Joker rose his head and glared at the man. "What now?" His voice sounded demonic, as it did when he was extremely angry.

"The cops are searching the place for you and Batman. We gotta get outta this place!" He told him frantically.

With the Joker's attention directed away from him, Bruce jumped up and landed a kick on the Joker's chest. The Jester coughed, clutching his chest as he looked back up at Batman. He chuckled softly. "Do it." He told the henchman.

From behind one of the posts holding up the platform that hung above the stage, he pulled out a large canister. He twisted a knob and a high pitched hissing noise came from it, along with a light mist that filled the air. Bruce saw the Joker and his man cover their mouths but could not react in time. The place began to spin and grow dark. All the noses faded and everything went black.

Twisting the knob, the Joker waited a few seconds to uncover his mouth. He stared down at the unconscious body below. "Get the car ready." The man jumped, grabbed his weapon and left like before.

The Joker glanced from side to side, making sure no one else was around. When he was sure it was safe, the Joker bent down and smirked. "Let's see who's behind the mask." He reached out with a hand on each side of the cowl. The Joker hesitated at first. Did he really want to ruin everything? What if he did not like who he found?

He shook his head. He knew that this was his chance. The Joker grabbed each side and pulled the bat shaped cowl off.

Seeing the man's face, the Joker could not hold in his gasp. This was truly a surprise. Bruce Wayne. The last remaining member of the Wayne family was Gotham's Batman? Priceless. Absolutely priceless.

But his identity soon became less important than the face he was staring at. Bruce Wayne was so young and handsome. Smooth, dark brown hair. Soft skin. Thin lips. Sure, Bruce was as old, if not older than himself but Bruce took care of himself, making himself look younger.

The Joker's green eyes fell on his lips again. Without the mask, Batman was so much more... human. The Joker leaned down, pressing his lips against the others once more.

Backing away, the Joker laughed happily. Oh, the fun he was going to have now that he knew who the Dark Knight of Gotham was.

-- -- --

Bruce groaned loudly as he felt the sunlight break into his room. The billionaire grabbed his comforter and buried himself under it.

Alfred stood by the window, sighing to himself. Once again, Bruce was acting like a child. "Master Bruce. It is three in the afternoon. No respectable man sleeps until three in the afternoon."

"I don't have to be respected." Bruce's muffled voice replied from under the blanket. "I just want to sleep."

Taking a deep breath, Alfred rolled his eyes. "There's a piece of mail that I think you would be very interested in reading." He told the man.

"Like what?"

Alfred pulled out a playing card and glanced at it. "Who do you know that refers to you as 'honey'?"

At once, Bruce rose from his bed, pushing away all of the blankets. Sitting on his bed in his pajama pants, Bruce stared up at the butler. "Let me see." The older man took a few strides to hand Bruce the card. It was a joker card you could find in any card deck. The same ones the Joker normally used. Around the joker figure, there was a message. It read:

"Who would have guessed that the Prince of Gotham is also it's Dark Knight? I'll be looking forward to seeing you again, honey."

Bruce felt his heart sink to his stomach. When did the Joker find out?

TBC!