Broken Wing

Chapter 18:Why? Why Not?

Hello and welcome to the newest chapter of Broken Wing. This chapter was one of the more difficult ones to write. This is due to it being both unknown and forbidden territory for guys. Girl Talk (Shudders) As far as when this story takes place in the timeline of things, it's before the end of the Cyclonian War and Winds of Change, basically its REALLY early in the timeline. I wrote this up some time ago and just found it on my hard drive. I haven't had time to write much, but I AM working on the next chapter of Winds of Change, consider this an apology for taking so long. I hope you enjoy it, and that it is not too bad. As always please read and review, flames will be used to cook Merb Cabbage.

Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks, and never will. They are the property of Asaph "Ace" Fipke and made by Nerd Corps Entertainment, however I DO own Kai, the Shadow crystal and this story.

"Speech"

"Thought"

Sound

Starling leaned back into the old, yet surprisingly comfortable couch the Storm Hawks now kept on the Condors Bridge. She was deep in thought so she didn't notice that she had company.

Or that she had had company for well over the last hour.

"Copper for your thoughts?" A familiar voice asked.

To her credit Starling didn't jump, but the slightly higher pitch of her voice proved that she had been caught unaware.

"Oh Piper, I didn't see you there. I'm sorry, but what was it you asked?"

Piper gave a small smile as she sat down beside the woman who she no longer saw as just a role model, but as a member of her ever growing extended family.

"Oh come on, I heard you when you got back last night. I take it the date didn't go all to well huh?" When Piper saw the look on Starlings face she couldn't help but laugh.

"You have no idea." Starling groaned as she leaned back and sighed. "I swear it's like they're getting worse or something. I spent most of last night going through all my old logbooks and journals checking to make sure I hadn't destroyed a shrine to some heathen God, or desecrated some ancient burial ground or something." Starling muttered in an exasperated tone.

"It couldn't have been that bad." When Piper saw the glare Starling sent her way she cringed and looked away. "Ok so maybe it could." Allowing a few seconds to pass the younger girls normal curious self returned in full force. "Wanna tell me what happened?" Piper asked as she scooted away onto the closest cushion and leaned forward. "Come on! I want details!"

Starling couldn't help but chuckle at Pipers antics. She had learned quite some time ago that the crew acted young not because they were immature or undisciplined, well aside from Finn , but rather it was to help each other get through each day, it was to help keep them from descending into their own personal worlds of darkness. She was thankful that they extended this to her whenever she was around, since extended bouts of solitude would sometimes pull her back into her own.

So, in light of their kindness, she decided to humor the younger girl and recount her latest miserable excuse of a date.

"Well, for starters, he greeted me by the wrong name."

Piper couldn't help but wince slightly. "Ouch."

"That was the high point of the entire…event." Starling gave a dry laugh before continuing. "He tried to give me a lift on his skimmer, but it was out of fuel, so we had to use mine."

Piper smiled and covered her eyes as she shook her head.

"Then when we reached the restaurant he had made reservations at, it not only turned out to be the wrong restaurant, but the wrong Terra." Starling was about to finish when she was interrupted by her companions laughter.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm sorry, it's just, you have to admit that is pretty bad." Piper spoke between her fit of laughs but stopped when she saw the serious look on Starling's face.

"Did I saw I was finished?" Starling rose one of her eyebrows.

Piper settled back down and got comfortable. She looked like a kid listening to one of her grandparents tell a story about the old days again.

"In the end we decided to go to a Sky Burger fly through. Not the best of meals, but I've had worse. That's when he dropped the bombshell." When Starling was sure that she had Pipers undivided attention she grinned. "He left his wallet back at home, so I ended up paying for the meal."

Piper fell into a fit of giggles and was soon having difficulty time breathing.

"Of course, the ending was befitting of the mess. When I dropped him off his mother was waiting for us on the front porch armed with a crossbow. She started firing at me and calling out at me for trying to take away her dear sweet child." Starling finished with a false sweet tone.

At this point Piper's chest was hurting from sheer laughter. After a minute or so passed and she wiped the tears from her eyes she asked one question.

"How old was he, I mean was he like nineteen or something?" Piper asked in all seriousness.

"Actually, believe it or not, he was a year older then me." Starling groaned as she leaned back into the old couch listening to Piper laugh herself silly.

"Oh come off it, you've laughed long enough. Besides it's not like you have a great track record yourself, or need I remind you about the little excursions you've been on with your fearless leader? Like your first date to terra Neon? Or how about the ski trip to terra Nord? Oh and lets not forget the all time favorite, the picnic on top of the Condor." Starling finished with a wolfish grin.

"Hey! That's not fair! It was neither my fault or Arrows' that the skycorn had gone bad, the ski trip was completely Finn's fault since he used Aerrow's snowboard as a doorstop, and as for the picnic…who could have predicted that the weather could have changed that quickly?" Piper retorted crossing her arms sulking.

"Oh? What about the part where you and Aerrow locked yourselves outside? And were stuck out there until the next morning. Did you know that Stork thought you were a couple of Murk Raiders when he saw you the next morning? He was going to make the Condor do a barrel roll and dump both of you into the wastelands." Starling was smirking now, no longer being laughed at, she was now the one on the attack.

"My problems all come from outside forces; you still haven't even been on a second date yet." Piper returned fire, once again switching the tables of there little duel.

"Not my fault, same as you." Starling replied.

"Well, maybe you're going about it the wrong way." Piper said in a serious tone.

"Hm?" Starling turned to look at her friend.

"Well, instead of letting guys ask you out, maybe you should try asking someone out." Piper offered.

"Tried it, along with singles ads, blind dates, you name it. Last month I actually took Finn up on his repeated offers." Starling replied not moving her eyes from the ceiling.

"Ouch, that must have been a complete waste of time." Pipe flinched.

"As sad as this might sound, it was the closest thing I've had to a normal date. It went pretty well, up until the part where Snipe crashed into the restaurant we were eating at and threw me into the salad bar." Starling's gaze remained fixed the entire time, never once moving from some random speck on the Condors ceiling.

"Finn never told us that he went out with you, I would have thought that he would have bragged about that for weeks." Piper was curious now. She, like every other unfortunate occupant of the Condor knew every time Finn went on a date, who he went with, and what they did, they would hear about it for weeks on end, but for him to keep something like this to himself was…not normal, especially considering who it was he went with.

"I doubt he even remembers it. He took a nasty blow to the head from Snipe's mace. I was worried that he might have been killed, but it seems that Finn's skull is pretty thick, literally." Starling laughed at that one, abet dryly.

Piper bit her lip, she knew of one other possibility, but she wasn't sure if she should voice the thought. Even though she and Starling had become very close, almost like sisters, there were something's about her past she had yet to share, so she was a bit unsure.

"What? You have any other suggestions?" The older woman shot a grin. "You know that Aladd is spoken for, besides he's not my type, if I went within ten yards of Billy Rex I'd have to deal with Suzi, and I know you and Aerrow have been an item for a few months now, the rest are all known by the general public." Starling studied the younger girls face for a moment. "I hope that you're not thinking about any Cycloninan's. Shadow is a sweet girl, and she is a good friend, but I have no intentions of become her stepmother."

"Uh excuse me for a second while I cough up my lunch, yarg!" Piper shuddered at the thought.

"You know my past, the only other prospect I can think of I have to stay away from for his own good." When she saw the young girl raise an eyebrow she elaborated with a sigh.

"Back some time ago, I actually dated Harrier of the Rex Guardians. Now before you judge me, keep in mind I was sixteen, an orphan, living alone for the most part, and had very few friends. Then swooping down from the sky came a dashing young man with a beaming smile and hair that most girls would have fought to the death for. He was quite literally a knight in shining armor, having been knighted earlier that week."

"I guess, but still, it's Harrier. I would take Finn before him, the guys a complete idiot." Piper answered carefully.

"True, but beggars can't be choosers." Starling added.

"Wait a minute; you said for his own good, what did you mean by that?" Piper asked.

Starling was silent for a few moments and Piper was starting to get worried, that is until she finally spoke. "What do you know of my understudy?" She asked.

"Understudy? What are you..ohhh. I take it he didn't care too much for Harrier, am I right?" Piper was grinning from ear to ear. Now she had the opening she needed.

"Didn't care for, would be like saying Stork is a little eccentric." Starling bit her bottom lip. "It actually almost resulted in his being incarcerated, and he was only eleven at the time." Starling said with a serious face.

"You're joking…right?" Piper let out a slight laugh until she saw the look on her friends face.

"No, I'm not joking. He literally was going to be thrown into juvie, the only reason Harrier didn't press the matter was I asked him not to."

Piper could tell just by looking at the older woman's eyes that she was watching the event over in her mind.

"Did he react that way all the time?" Piper asked carefully. When she saw the questioning look on Starlings face she continued. "I mean did he always act like that when you went out with someone?" She clarified.

Starling was silent for a moment before answering. "The only time he reacted like that was with Harrier, the other times he was slightly miffed, or a little grumpy, but no, Harrier was the only one that he outright sabotaged and openly attacked." She replied.

"Ah huh, do you have any idea why he would have acted that way? I don't know him that well, but he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would just attack anyone on sight like that." "Ok Piper, keep it going, we have her talking about him, now you just need to keep her from changing the subject…again." Piper patted herself on the back for getting this far, usually Starling wouldn't say more then a few words about her past, or her former apprentice, this was new territory and she intended to explore it as long as she could.

"Well, more than likely, it was because for the first time he was not the center of attention. We had known each other for about six years, and during that time it was just the two of us. Terra Mesa didn't have many children, so most of the people we knew were adults. He felt threatened by Harrier's presence and responded the way anyone else his age would have." Starling answered after thinking for a few moments.

"But what changed after that for him to be more…accepting? You said that was the only time he openly attacked someone, what happened the other times?" Piper asked, though she was pretty sure she knew the answer.

"Well, after the…incident. I explained to him that he couldn't act that way, it would give him a bad reputation and would reflect badly on me since he spent so much time with me. As for the others, just little things. He would be cold towards them, wouldn't speak to them, or little things would happen. Nothing serious, more along the lines of annoyance, things like disappearing wallets, skimmer's kickstand would be missing, or dinner reservations would be canceled. He understood to the best of his knowledge at the time, but he grew out of it little by little as time passed." She responded.

"Now we're getting somewhere. Think Piper think. I'VE GOT IT!" "Well, maybe not. Think about it, he always seems to be around when you're in trouble. Remember the Cabion incident?" Piper was almost completely sure that she knew what she was doing, she just needed a little more information, and how Starling answered this question would give her what she needed.

"Not completely true. You forget that he has helped others in the past. He regularly answers Tigger's calls for help, I know that he and Scarlett work together quite frequently on undercover missions, Suzi-Lu goes on and on about how he is always bugging her for more advanced training, and I happen to know that he and Shadow are good friends. So, as you can plainly see, he helps others, not just me." Starling responded quickly.

"I knew it!" Piper now had a grin on her face. "Why Starling, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were just a tad bit jealous."

"What! No, I'm not jealous, I'm actually proud of him. I was just stating the facts." She said in a matter of fact tone of voice.

"Right, and the fact that all of his friends happen to be girls doesn't strike you to be the least bit odd? Or make you wonder just a little bit?" Piper was grinning like the cat that ate the cannery, she had control now.

"I don't have to wonder, because I know. Despite what he may claim, Aladd is with Tigger, Scarlett has Finn staked out like a hungry wolf with a slab of meat, he looks up to Suzi as a sister figure and is actually helping Billy in that regard. As for Shadow, I might not know the exact details of their relationship, but I know it's not romantic. He's as protective of her as Aerrow, and neither one will say a word about how they first met. He's both kind and generous, but about as outgoing as a rock. I doubt he's ever even been on a date, much less anything serious." Starling's voice was exasperated.

"Wait a minute, what's going on? She actually sounds disappointed, something's not right here, I missed something. This might be my one chance, I'm going for it."

Piper looked a bit uneasy for a brief second but covered it with a sly grin. "Well, why you don't you help change that? Like you said, he's kind and generous, he's nowhere near ugly or disfigured, from the few times I've seen him fight I can tell he can handle himself, and you two have known each other for nearly ten years. That's longer then Aerrow and me! I say go for it, he's oceanfront property!" Piper giggled lightly at her last remark, but it quickly died when she saw the look on Starlings face.

Taking a deep breath Starling looked at her younger companion and said two words that Piper never would have expected to hear from her in a million years. "I can't."

It took a moment for it to fully register, but when it did all of Piper's thoughts came to a screeching halt. "What do you mean you can't? This isn't the dark ages, a girl can ask out a guy if she wants to, you don't have to wait on him."

Starling closed her eyes and remained silent for a few seconds, collecting her thoughts to make sure she was as clear as could be and there that there would be no misunderstanding what she said.

"I am aware of that, and I have actually done so on a few occasions. When I say that I can't, I mean I can't ask him out." Starling saw that Piper was about to ask why so she continued. "Keep in mind, he was my apprentice, like you said, we have known each other for many years, and your assessment of him was accurate. While I can't say for certain that it would work out, I would by no means outright turn him down if he were to ask."

Piper was now more confused then ever. "She's asked out guys before, but she can't ask him out, she wouldn't turn him down, but she won't ask. What am I missing?"

Seeing that her friend was now even more confused, she continued. "The reason I can't ask him out is because I am still his teacher, he has yet to learn his final lesion, and until he does, what is, is all there shall be." Starling finished with a glum look on her face.

"I thought you said he was your apprentice, not is. Besides what does it matter? Aerrow's been my teacher since he became knighted, and we're going out." Piper was now completely lost, she no longer cared about her little covert mission to dig up her friends past. She wanted answers, and if she had to argue them out of her, then she would.

Sighing, Starling continued. "You don't understand. The reason you and Aerrow are an item is because you passed that lesson, or Aerrow believed you already knew it and didn't need to be taught it." Starling's face fell into her hands and she began to rub her forehead. "The reason I can't ask out Kai, is that he has yet to learn one of the most important lessons in life that any person can. If I were to deny him that, it would weaken him, and render him unfit to ever become a Sky Knight, a squadron leader, or even just another squadron member." Starling's voice was rising, and her tone held just a hint of anger.

"Alright, fine, let me spell it out for you. He's fallen for you, and he's fallen for you hard! He never grew up after all these years; he adjusted to what he thought you wanted! He'll do anything to ensure your happiness, even at the expense of his own in the process of doing so! If you care about him as a friend, you'd see that!" Piper yelled so loudly that her voice could be heard echoing throughout the thankfully empty ship.

"I am aware of his feelings concerning me, but it would be cruel of me to deny him the lesson in question." Starling calmly replied.

"WHAT LESSON! Tell me, what could be crueler than what you're doing to him now! I might not know him all that well, heck I'm not even his friend, but it didn't take me all that long to figure out that he truly, deeply, cares for you. Yet, you just sit back and say that he needs to learn some lesson! I thought you were better then that, if you're afraid of hurting his feelings, or you see him as a brother or something you could have just said so. You don't have to have some grand excuse for every little flaw you might have." When Starling didn't answer her, she continued. "You know what! Tell me, tell me what is this oh so important lesson that he must learn!" Piper seethed threw clinched teeth.

Starling looked as though everything was fine, normal, like they weren't in the middle of an argument. "Regret" was the only word she uttered.

"Excuse me?" Piper asked quickly, still with a bit of venom in her voice.

"Throughout his life, Kai has only had to make a few choices, and while some of them were very serious, none of them had a clear cut choice where only one option would leave you with regrets. When he chose to become my apprentice, he gave up a calm and peaceful life to gain the strength to help others. When he chose to run and hide from the council and to live like a fugitive for an entire year, he gave up training and power that few can ever hope to receive or achieve, and in exchange he retained his freewill and individuality. And when he chose to become what he is today, he gained a terrible burden, a curse that I would wish on no person alive or otherwise, but in exchange, he saved my life and those of the other Interceptors at the time. Each choice offered some regrets, but also offered much more in return." Starling's voice remained calm, but Piper could see tiny cracks starting to form in her mask, chips falling off.

"Then how would his asking you out teach him about regret?" Piper asked trying to understand what her friend was telling her.

"Like I said before, I am well aware of his feelings, I know how deeply he cares for me, much more than any other person. I know that, if I do find someone, if I ever do decide to share my life with another, he will regret not having tried for the rest of his life. It will hurt him, and haunt him until the day one of us dies. He needs to learn that not every choice in life will be forced on you, sometimes you have to make the choice for yourself."

Piper was surprised by the wisdom in the older woman's words. She knew that Starling was more than just a cut above other Sky Knights, and that she was serious in all areas of her life, but she had never imagined that she would take teaching so personally, though it did explain why it took so long for her to adjust to their 'training' methods.

"I get it, what she's saying is that he has never made a choice on his own, they've always been forced onto him, and he needs to learn how to make a choice because he wants to, not because he has to, and I definitely know what she's saying about him regretting not having even tried, after all, I would feel the same if I never asked Aerrow, but…"

"When a person is taught a lesson, they learn no matter what. If the main point is for him to make a choice because he wants to, so as to avoid something he would later regret, what would he learn if he failed the lesson?" Piper asked finally understanding what Starling was trying to tell her.

"Hopefully, he will learn to avoid regret by taking action to prevent it. However, if he fails to do so, he will have to learn how to live with regret, and move on." Starling stood up and stretched before turning to walk towards her room. "I'm pretty tired from last night, so I think I'll turn in. Wake me if anything comes up." She called out over her shoulder before disappearing around the corner and leaving Piper alone with her thoughts.

End Chapter.

AN: Ok, I'm not trying to make out that Starling is heartless or anything of that nature, but if anyone didn't get this chapter, just say so in a review and I'll write another chapter to follow up this one and go into greater detail. Either way, tell me what you thought. Also, if anyone's wondering, the first half of this chapter was mainly inspired from listening to two teen girls talking while waiting in a dentist office. Please review!