Author: Sinian
Rating: M
Pairing: Kuchiki Byakuya x Kusajishi Yachiru (as an ADULT!)
Disclaimer: They are not mine and I don't expect someone to give me money for this...
Spoilers: none
Warning: Crack, English is not my first language
Summary: Byakuya wakes up with a massive headache, but there's something else that is different...

I wrote this for the Bleach Kink Meme over at Livejournal.

Please keep in mind that Yachiru is an adult in this fic.

When Yachiru met caffeine and sugar...

It was warm. And it was way too bright.

Groaning Byakuya cracked an eye open to realize that the curtains to his room were not closed the way he was used to and that the morning sun was tickling his nose. Sighing he closed his eyes again and buried his face in the pillows to at least try to get a little bit more sleep.

Black brows furrowed slightly.

How, for Heaven's sake, was it possible for him to feel like he had a huge heat plaster covering up his whole back when his window clearly faced east and the sun just shone into his face a minute ago?

The thought made it's slow way through the foggy brain of the noble while he blinked again. Yes, the sun was definitely in front of him.

Something flat and square drew his attention to the mattress near his face and he picked the object up. Confused he turned it in his fingers and tried to make some sense out if it. The throbbing feeling in his head wasn't particularly helping the process. Finally he recognised it as a Polaroid photo and all the pieces fell into place. Byakuya nearly choked as his eyes widened.

"What...?" he croaked and sat bolt upright in his bed.

There was a soft rustle of the sheets and a hand tugged at his wrist. "Byakushiiii... what are you doing? Come back to sleep, okay?"

Slowly and dreading what he will see Byakuya turned his head to take a look at the person sharing his bed...

With a very unmanly yelp he backpaddled and fell off the bed when he reached the edge of the mattress. Right in front of him was Kusajishi Yachiru, 11th division fukutaichou, who sleepily rubbed her eyes and yawned. But that was not the fact that horrified Byakuya the most... it was rather her obvious lack of any clothing - as far as he could see - and his own nudity.

[ ... Yachiru pulled his mouth back to hers and claimed his lips in a passionate, lust filled kiss. Byakuya let his hand wander up to her breast and pinched her nipple what made her moan into his mouth and arch her back off the mattress. He moved his lips down her neck and sucked at her collarbone while his hand still played with her breast. Yachiru fisted one hand in the silky sheets beneath her and tangled the other in his hair to hold his mouth to her skin. ... ]

Very slowly Byakuya let his eyes wander to Yachiru's neck and almost fainted as he discovered a love bite there. "No, no, no, no... that can't be true," he murmured and buried his face in his hands.

"But Byakushii... are you hung over?"

Hung over? But he didn't drink any alcohol as far as he remembered. On the other side there had to be a reason why his head obviously tripled its size and hurt like hell. "What did we do?" he asked softly, not particularly Yachiru but more himself.

"Don't you remember? We had absolutely hot and mind-blowing sex!" Yachiru chirruped.

Byakuya groaned in frustration as she confirmed his worst fears. What did he ever do that apparently someone must really hate him?

[ ... Byakuya settled himself comfortably between her legs and gently ran a finger on the inside of her thigh, right to where she wanted him to get. He slowly slipped one finger into her and looked up at her. Yachiru's breath caught in her throat and she stared at him, her brown eyes glazed over with lust and desire, as he pulled his finger out of her again, bringing it to his lips and sucking on it.

Her legs were already open for him but he pushed them wider apart. Byakuya breathed in her scent and leaned forward to nuzzle her clit, tongue flicking out to get a taste of her. Yachiru's head fell back and she moaned deeply. ... ]

In spite of his pounding headache, Byakuya shook his head to chase away the memories of the last night that threatened to flood his brain.

He heard the mattress shift and then he felt a hand stroking his hair. "Are you all right? You look as if you're going to be sick."

"How... how much sake did I have last night?" he asked her, still looking at the floor but without seeing a thing.

"Huh? We had no sake last night, but..."

Byakuya's eyes flew open and he looked up to her, disbelief written all over his face. "What? But how..." He wasn't able to get the rest of the sentence out. Being confronted with a worried looking Yachiru was one thing, but he sure as hell wasn't able in his current state to handle a Yachiru who kneeled on his bed and whose naked breasts were dangling right in front of his eyes.

[ ... He positioned himself at her entrance and looked deep into her eyes. Without a further warning Byakuya thrust up into her and made them both moan. She felt so hot around him and he claimed her mouth in a steaming kiss while he pulled almost all the way out and thrust back in. Yachiru wrapped her legs around his waist and shifted their positions without breaking their connection so that he was on his back now.

Byakuya's hands on her hips steadied her as she began to ride his cock hard and fast, breasts bouncing in front of him. He bit his lips and groaned deeply at the sight of her reaching down between her legs to rub herself to completion. ... ]

"Byakushii?"

He didn't want to believe what his memories of the last night were telling him. But all the facts he registered let him know that it was just wishful thinking and that he really did have sex with Yachiru.

"So, you wanna have breakfast?" she asked in her usual cheerful manner that made him groan and hold his head. "There has to be at least one can left..." With this she crawled off the bed and rummaged around on the floor (he had to force his eyes away from her backside) until she proudly presented him a black can with a green symbol on it.

"What is this?" he asked cautiously. Then he registered that the whole floor was littered with these things.

Yachiru smiled radiantly, opened the can and took a swig. "Monster energy drinks. You know, Baldy had gotten them for me from the real world and we were sitting on the porch of the divisions headquarter, when Ken-chan came along and wanted to have a word with Baldy. But this stuff is so yummy that I just kept on drinking without him and emptied four or five of them. Apparently he thought that I wouldn't find his secret supply but I did," she giggled and waved her arms around, "so I have grabbed a whole bunch of them and kept on drinking... Do you want one, too?" she asked and offered him the can but Byakuya just shook his head, unable to stop her flow of words.

"But then Ken-chan called me and we went to look for Maki-maki who got himself in the 4th... he is such a weird guy, you know? Anyway, when we were halfway there, Ken-chan somehow got angry at me. I have no idea what I did, but he just growled at me. I mean, he had never complained when I was sitting on his shoulder and I swear that I didn't kick him in the head intentionally. But he turned on his heel and headed over to the training grounds. Then I was thinking that maybe I got Baldy wrong and Maki-maki wasn't in the 4th but training with someone."

Yachiru paused again to take a sip but continued on right away. "And then I saw you and the Pineapple-head sparring. I was so happy when Ken-chan headed over to you and... well I hope that the black eye of Ken-chan is better by now. Anyway, he said that he'd like to have a word with Pineapple-head and left me with you. We then went to... hmmmpf!"

Byakuya only saw one way to put a stop to her babbling and just covered her mouth with his hand. "Stop. I've heard enough." In his mind he was already considering the possible and definitely huge favors he could ask of Zaraki for having to tame his lieutenant on a sugar and caffeine high.

In the meantime Yachiru used the opportunity to flick her tongue across Byakuya's fingers and sucked two of them into her mouth. He blushed and was just about to draw his hand back when there was a knock on his bedroom door and his sister barged in.

"Nii-sama! Have you seen my Polaroid camera? I've already looked everywhere else and can't find it, so I thought that I could ask..." Rukia stopped dead in her tracks and gaped unbelievingly at the scene in front of her.

Yachiru took Byakuya's fingers out of her mouth and waved cheerfully at her. "Good morniiiing! I borrowed it yesterday from you and we," she glanced at the dumbstruck captain, "had a lot of fun! Thanks, Ruu-chan!"

Rukia blinked a few times, then she giggled and zoomed out of the room in the blink of an eye.

Byakuya wasn't sure if she already learned how to perfect her shunpo or if she just wanted to tell everyone of this as fast as possible. He sighed deeply and was tackled to the floor by Yachiru who apparently was again high on sugar and caffeine and wanted to have her good-morning-kiss.

He closed his eyes in utter defeat. "I'm doomed."

Thanks for reading!