How to end a first date

f.f. lindy

Jim walked Pam to the door of her apartment and waited as she fished her keys out of the bottom of her purse. He his stomach flip as he realized that this was the point where he got to kiss her good night, their first official kiss since that night a year ago when he put it all on the line. She looked beautiful with her hair in front of her face as she dug frantically through her purse and he tried his best to take it all in. "Do you want to come in for a cup of tea or something?" she asked victoriously selecting the key for her lock.

"Sure," he said, taking a deep breath and scratching the back of his neck nervously.

The door swung open and he followed her into the apartment. He'd barely seen it when he came to pick her up three hours prior but now he investigated it a little better. "Cool place," he said.

"Thanks. It's growing on me. At first it seemed so small."

"Well, there is only one kitchen. You kind of got taken."

She laughed as he followed her into the tiny kitchen. She pulled the teapot off the stove and refilled it. "Should I start a pot of coffee or do you want tea?"

He leaned uncomfortably against the opposite counter. "Tea's fine."

A look of panic rolled across her face and he actually watched the color of her flesh change as the blood drained from it. "You didn't think I was inviting you in for sex did you?" she asked far too quickly. "I mean, in movies 'come in for coffee' always means sex, but I didn't even think. Is that actually what it means? Damn it." It all poured out of her mouth in one frantic breath.

He let out a chuckle and felt his shoulders relax a little. "I knew you actually meant tea," he said, his tone matching the smile on his face.

She set the teapot back on the stove and lit it before burying her face in her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm new at this. Last time I was on a first date I couldn't have invited him in because my parents were asleep upstairs. Not to mention sex on the first date wouldn't have even crossed my mind."

"Awe, I can just imagine 16 year old Beesly deciding if some poor kid even deserved a goodnight kiss after he'd been a perfect gentleman all evening."

She blushed and tried to give him a scowl. "There are mugs right behind you," she said, "could you grab a couple?"

He spun around and opened the cabinet. Instead of pulling mugs off the low shelf, clearly full of the ones she used every day, he inspected the options on the shelf up at his eye level. "What is this?" he pulled a pink mug all the way out of the back. In a curly font it read: Scranton's Sexiest Secretary.

She blushed again. "Roy got me that when I took the job at Dunder Mifflin. I don't even know why I still have it."

"Will you please use it at the office, just once, to see what Michael says?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Jim."

"Fine. Will you use it tonight as a special treat because I'm here?"

A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. "Fine."

He pulled a second mug down that had a close up photograph of a dogs face on it. "I'm going to use this one," he said, taunting her a little.

"I don't even know where some of these came from," she tried to explain.

"Sure," he said. "I bet you bought this last weekend."

She plucked both mugs from his grasp and set them on the counter by the stove. "What kind of tea do you want?" She opened another cupboard and started rifling through her tea collection.

"Do you have Mellow Mint?" he asked.

"You drink Mellow Mint? I knew I liked you," she said over her shoulder, pulling down two tea bags.

She passed him one and he set it down in his mug, standing just inches from her as she did the same. "I didn't use to like tea much," he linked one index finger around the front belt loop of her jeans playfully, "but I started drinking this one because the smell reminds me of you." He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

She raised both eyebrows and giggled. "Oh you're not going to live that one down."

"Yeah," be tried to keep his composure, "that was a totally unnecessary bit of self-disclosure."

"It's alright. I think it's cute."

"Oh yeah?" He gave her belt loop a tiny tug to pull her closer to him and bent his head down towards her. She closed the gap he'd left between their lips and he pulled her into him.

She seemed thrilled by the kiss but as soon as they broke apart she looked down at the ground and tried to hide her reddening face. She quickly spun to face their mugs and straightened the strings on the tea bags. He could see her hands trembling as she did it. "Am I that bad a kisser?" he asked, half teasing, but not daring to touch her.

"No, no, it's not that," she explained, turning to try to meet his eyes. "It's just that I still…" she broke her gaze again to study the linoleum, "Kissing you still feels like I'm cheating on Roy."

"Well, was that your first kiss since you two broke up?"

She nodded.

"Maybe you just need to get used to kissing someone else," he offered. He leaned over again and kissed her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, making it hard for him to pull away and ask, "Any better?"

"A little," she said, her arms still encircling his head. She let him pull her in for another kiss and felt his hands move from where they had settled on her hips to wrap around her body.

The scream of the teapot just a few feet away pulled them from one another. She willed her hands to steady as she grabbed a potholder and poured the steaming water into each mug.

"I have a surprise for you," she said with a grin as they each lifted their mugs.

"Oh yeah?"

"Come on," she said, nodding her head in the direction of the bedroom.

He followed and watched as she set down her tea to steep and pulled a large book of the shelf. "It's really only fair that you get to see mine."

He instantly recognized a yearbook and took a seat comfortably close to her on her bed. She flipped expertly to the page and pointed to her own photo.

"Pamela Beesly, look at those bangs."

"They were cool back then."

He checked the cover for a date. "In 1997? I'm not sure they were," he teased. "What's this?" he pointed to some scratchy penmanship next to her photo. "Pammy, I can't believe I'm still dating such a nerd. Roy." Jim looked up at her and made a face. "What sentiment," he offered sarcastically.

"At the time I couldn't believe he was still dating such a nerd," she explained. "I thought he was the coolest guy."

"Not into the intellectual type I take it?"

"Shut up," she said. "I didn't have a huge range of comparison. He's the only guy I've ever really been with."

Jim turned slowly and raised his brow. "Been with?"

"Jim," she warned.

"Roy is the only guy you've ever been with been with?"

She blushed. "So! Is there something wrong with that?"

"No," Jim tried to suppress a laugh. "I just thought that someone as awesome as you…" he trailed off before he could put his foot in his mouth.

Her mouth was gaping in a half smile. "Why? What's your count?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does! I told you mine."

"Fine," he said, "five."

"Five?" she said loudly. "That's five times the number of people I've slept with."

Jim rolled his eyes and refocused on the yearbook. "Let's see this very cool guy who is the only man you've ever been with."

She smiled at his tone and flipped a few pages to Roy's picture.

"Wow. Roy would have kicked my ass in high school."

"Having seen your high school picture," she said, "I would have to agree."

He pinched her midsection and made her squeal. "He just peaked early," Jim insisted.

"Not like you," she reached up and messed up his already disheveled hair, "you're way cooler at 30 than you were at 17."

"I got the girl in the end, that's what matters."

"I wouldn't say you've got me yet," she teased.

"Oh yeah?" he ticked both sides of her just below her ribcage causing her to laugh and wiggle around. He kept tickling until he had her face to face then barely let her catch her breath before kissing her upturned lips. "How's that 'feeling like you're cheating' thing going?"

"I think the more I do it, the less I feel bad," she said, her mouth close enough to his that he could feel her breathe.

"Well in that case," he began, then kissed her passionately.

Yearbook forgotten they were soon laying flat on the bed intertwined, his kisses working their way down her neck and shoulder to the skin her collared shirts always hid but her v-neck sweater exposed.

When his patient lips reached her mouth again, she grabbed the ribbing of her sweater and pulled it up over her head. He contained a gasp as he touched the soft flesh of her back for the first time and felt one of her knees settle between his, the warm weight of her torso comfortably on top of him. She wrapped her hands around the back of him and slipped one under the cotton sweater he'd worn to dinner. Catching her suggestion he pulled it off as well, but didn't let their lips interlock again. "I thought you said you weren't inviting me in for sex," he said, through ragged breaths.

"I wasn't," she said innocently, "I invited you up for tea, sex is just a bonus."

Jim thought about their mugs sitting side by side on the nightstand steeping to a dark brew. Although the scent of Mellow Mint filled the room neither of them had so much as tasted the tea. He gave her a tiny kiss. He wanted to touch her so badly, but his conscience was screaming for him to stop. "It'll screw up your perfect record though," he said, pulling away again, this time sitting up enough that she could no longer lay atop him. "You won't be able to say I've slept with five times as many people as you anymore."

"Nope," she said folding up her legs to sit on the bed, "then you'll only have done three times as many people. It's fine. I'll feel less like I'm dating a man whore."

She flashed him a thousand watt smile and he didn't even think before, "God, I love you," slipped out of his mouth. It felt so natural rolling off his lips.

The color drained rapidly from her face for the second time that evening.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he said, trying to hold eye contact with her now wide eyes. "I…I…"

A tiny smile started to play on her lips as he stuttered pathetically.

"I didn't mean for the first I time I said that for it to be like this," he gestured between their bare chests. When she didn't respond he reached for his sweater and slid off the mattress. "I should go."

She grabbed his hand. "Jim, before you put that back on, just so we're even, I love you too."

He ran his fingers nervously through his hair and pulled the sweater back over his head before he could change his mind and stay. "Can I see you again sometime?" he asked, trying not to sound as awkward as he felt.

"How about for breakfast in the morning?"

He furrowed his brow and looked uncomfortable, wondering if she was purposely trying to make it impossible for him to leave.

"Damn it, I did it again didn't I? I meant 'yes you can, and soon,'" she tried to explain, her words speeding up like they had before. "I didn't mean sex." She smashed her face into her hands.

"No, I get it, sex is just a bonus," he teased.

"Get out," she sighed. "Here," she wadded up her sweater and chucked it at him, "take this. You can start wearing it because the smell will remind you of me."

He laughed and tossed it back at her as he started out the door. "I'll pick you up at nine for breakfast?"

"Looking forward to it already."