Disclaimer: This story is the only thing that belongs to me. Everyone else belongs to people that aren't me. The song belongs the Smashing Pumpkins

I decided that there are not enough Michael/Tess fics out there so I decided to write my own, it's not great but the plot bunny wouldn't quit eating my brain. Hope someone out there enjoys it.

Please R&R I might do another one from her POV.

Awake at 3AM

I lie awake in bed I toss and turn, can't seem to get comfortable. It's pouring rain I glance at the clock, its 3 am. It's not the first time I haven't been able to sleep this week and it probably won't be the last. At least alone no one can ask me questions.

I can't lie in bed anymore, I wonder if some music might make it easier to sleep. Anything to distract me from my thoughts.

I lie, I wait

I stop, I hesitate

I am, I breathe

I meant, I think of me

God must have a sick sense of humor, for something like this to be playing now.

It makes me think of Maria, I think she's starting to suspect something isn't right with me, though I don't think she knows how long it's been this way. Every time she kisses me I feel like a jerk. She loves me so much, but I hesitate to move things further even though she's my girlfriend. Every time I touch her it feels like I'm cheating, I'm an ass.

Is it any wonder I can't sleep?

All I have is all you gave to me.

Is it any wonder I found peace through you?

I guess if I really think about it, it started the moment I saw her. I felt it then, this pull I can't explain, this peace that settled over me. I had found a part of myself that day, a part of the home I had been searching for my entire life. It lived in her eyes. If I had been free then, I would have made her mine...Or maybe not she made it pretty clear from the beginning and it was not me.

Turn to the gates of heaven

To myself be damned

Turn away from light

It's not enough, just a touch

It's not enough

She hugged me the other day. It was innocent just a friendly thank you hug. But I can still feel it. The way her small arms wrapped around my waist and her head briefly touched my chest. I swear I thought my heart would stop. I couldn't, no wouldn't put my arms around her to hug her back. I was afraid of doing something stupid like never letting her go.

I taste, I love

I come, I bleed enough

I hate, I'm not

I was, I want too much

I saw her at prom; I had never seen her look more beautiful. Her blonde hair was shimmering under the lights of the dance floor. I wanted to dance with her. I wanted to hold her in my arms. I wanted to be the one to breathe her in, to caress her skin under the guise of a dance. Who knows maybe in that dance she would look in my eyes and fall in love with me. Yeah right...

Is it any wonder I can't sleep?

All I have is all you gave to me

Is it any wonder I found peace through you

I heard he kissed her that night. It's the moment she's been waiting for since I can remember. She's happy; I can let her be happy. I can be her friend; I can give her the peace that she gave me. Sure I can.

Turn to the gates of heaven

To myself be damned

Turn away from light

It's not enough, just a touch

It's not enough

I'm in love with my best friend's ex-wife, I'm screwed. The thought occurs to me that I'm starting to hate Max Evans. He takes for granted the things I wish for most in the world, and now the one girl I wanted more than anything he has. I guess it's my fault I had my chances when he pushed her away. I was too scared to do anything; she touches parts of me that no one ever has the darkest parts and is not afraid. And now all my chances are gone.

It's not enough, just a touch

I glance again at the clock it's 3:06 am, and someone's knocking on my door.

It's not enough, just a touch

She's standing outside my door soaking wet, her tears mixing with the water running down her face.

It's not enough, just a touch

I stand aside and let her in.