Barney and Death

Altair had been confined to Maysaf since the 'Mr. Bear' thing.

Within a few days, he had an armed escort. Apparently he had taken to singing a most hideous song which when much like: "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family…" in the market square and decapitated anyone who tried to shut him up.

A day later he was prohibited from leaving the castle, seeing as he had mistaken the purpose of the guards, calling them his 'hoes' and had been attempting to 'offer their services' to random women AND men.

One hour ago, he was locked up in a cell. After having issued the order for the insane assassin to be kept inside the fortress, Al Mualim found himself being followed everywhere by said assassin who was constantly singing 'The Song that Never Ends'. Needless to say, he was very unhappy.

Now Altair was banging his head against the wall, begging for Desmond to STFU!!!!!

Oh yes, he had not soon after the 'Bear' thing discovered the reason for his behavior: His annoying, crazy descendant in the future. He absolutely hated how he was being used as a puppet for his Allah-knows-how-many-greats grandson's amusement, but he could not bring himself to fight it.

Desmond was dying.

Whatever thing was allowing him to see Altair's memories was malfunctioning, causing rifts in time. A somewhat positive side-effect was the ability to manipulate certain things, insofar as they didn't halt the passing of heredity and didn't affect history too much. The bad part: Desmond was trapped in the … whatever it was called thing. And he was slowly dying. Altair had no desire to deprive him of his fun, so he allowed moderate access to his actions.

But this was just ridiculous. He was LOCKED IN A CAGE FOR GOD'S SAKE.

"Desssmooond! Just give it a rest all-fucking-ready!!!"

"But I'm bored! And hungry! Oh, I know, eat something! At least I'll experience it."

"Gah. Fine. One question though."

"What?"

"What was that one song? The "I love you, you lov-"

"Stop! You really, REALLY don't want to know."

"I really, REALLY do."

*sigh* "A large, plushie purple dinosaur called Barney likes to sing it in a show involving kids and learning."

Desmond sent Altair corresponding images and sounds. He was silent the rest of the day.