50 Haikus based on 50 characters:
In order of my appreciation for the characters. If one of your favorite characters isn't on this list, feel free to write a haiku about them in your spare time.
(Smithers)
Nerdy assistant
Working hard and secretly
Loving his old boss
(Moe)
Sadness comes quickly
To the tavern owner's eyes
Spiting his plain face
(Mr. Burns)
Money and power
Cause the decrepit man joy
In his busy plant
(Chief Wiggum)
Police officer
Keeping evidence off-guard
Never very smart
(Ned Flanders)
Religious young man
Training his kids to be good
Neighbor envy, much?
(Ralph)
Deep inside his brain
There is much we cannot see
Ralph's a special kid
(Sideshow Bob)
Constantly abused,
Psychological insane
Thoughts keep him locked up
(Milhouse)
Butt of all the jokes
Kid with glasses pushed around
Loves his friend's sister
(Kirk van Houten)
Dweeb to the extreme
His wife left him unfulfilled
Son is all he has
(Sideshow Mel)
An apt replacement
Causes drifting between Bob
And Krusty the Clown
(Comic Book Guy)
Overweight, geeky,
Standing at the counter of
The town's comic store
(Maggie)
Little smart baby
Understands and responds well
Cannot speak out loud
(Dr. Nick)
The town's super quack
Calling out in infamy,
Bargain advantage
(Principal Skinner)
Little mama's boy
Stricter than the teachers are
Adores Edna K
(Apu)
Convenience store clerk
Hailing in from India
He has spawned eight kids
(Prof. Frink)
Celibate as Moe
With a brain to calibrate
Way challenging math
(Mrs. Krabappel)
Sassy school teacher
Likes to tease the principal
Doesn't mind students
(Willie)
Crazy ranting Scot
Always cleaning never seen
As a gentleman
(Nelson)
Always teasing Bart
Never will he admit to
Insecurities
(Rod Flanders)
Followed example
Set by his devout father,
He's his pride and joy
(Lou)
Second in command
Though he's smarter than the chief
Seeing things he won't
(Otto)
Tripping bus driver
No one's such a music fan
As this junkie dude
(Krusty)
This sadistic clown
Causes pain and misery
For all his sideshows
(Bart)
Bratty ten-year-old
Never taught to behave right
His daddy chokes him
(Luann van Houten)
Left her husband fast
Took a ride with other men
Never resettled
(Todd Flanders)
Cute and innocent
A little cherub gently
Grins at his good faith
(Dr. Hibbert)
Joking doctor takes
His job quite seriously
Compared to the quack
(Carl)
Sits at the barstool
Giving meaning to Lenny
Without him, nothing
(Lenny)
Always seen with him
Carl likes to drink beer with Len
The man he completes
(Lisa)
Cheesy democrat,
Props for having high IQ
Of the Buddhist faith
(Marge)
Loving caring mom
Three kids really wear you down
Homemaker's her job
(Kent Brockman)
Stupid anchorman
Always irrelevancies
Show up in the news
(Rev. Lovejoy)
Conservative priest,
Helping all who listen with
Leaving those who don't
(Cletus)
Silly hillbilly
Put in incest many times
IQ worse than Ralph
(Hans Moleman)
Strange elderly man
But as luck just must turn out
He's but thirty-one
(Homer)
Lazy stupid man
Overeats and binges beer
Why does Marge love him?
(Agnes Skinner)
Nagging old mother
To her middle-aged baby
Seymour needs some love
(Barney)
Big fat drunken guy
Always drinks beer and is soon
Intoxicated
(Snake)
Multiple-offense
Felon makes his getaway
Too proud to return
(Patty)
Tolerable twin
The one who doesn't leer at guys
Because she likes girls
(Eddie)
Third and seldom speaks
Behind the mask of Lou he seems
Just superfluous
(Bumblebee Man)
Mexican insect
Or just a man in a suit
Facing deep anguish
(Abe)
Crazy old grandpa
Father of the lazy one
Memories now lapse.
(Martin Prince)
Goody-two-shoes kid
Classmate with the hell raiser
How does he manage?
(Selma)
Twin with lots of lust
Makes Luann look settled in
Never stops the fun
(A three-part haiku for Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney)
Three distinct bullies
All band together to cause
Mischief in the halls
One is short and bald
Another one is tall and has
A knit cap on his head
The last one sporting
A tuft of short, straight brown hair
All are merciless
(Cookie Kwan)
Asian realtor
"So good you'll believe it's new
But it's just valued"
(Brandine)
Fertile country lass
Spawns more kids than Apu has
And not luck of the draw