A/N:) Two chapters in one day? Have you ever gotten the feeling that you're the shit? AND humble?

P.S. Dis chappie is dedicated to BLUEanimeGIRL025 because she reminded me that this story was incomplete...Even though it still took me a few months to get off (or on) my ass and start writing it. Thaaaaaaaanks! :3

---

Gaara opened the door to Naruto's room and began sliding his way into the living room. He exhaled slowly through his nose in what could have been described as an angst-filled sigh, if one truly wanted their entrails ripped out through their esophagus. Gaara is NOT angsty…Most days. The reason for his not-quite-but-pretty-damn-close angst? Naruto didn't come home last night. Gaara had been camping out on the blonde's bedroom floor waiting for him to return so he could scold him about Uchiha-ettiquette and perhaps knock some sense into that empty head of his…but apparently one of two things had happened.

One: Sasuke had found out that Naruto had set him up on a date, murdered him, raped the body, and in his distress at having lost his dobe, became a male prostitute and started working the streets to forget his harsh past.

Two: Naruto and Sasuke had a fight and Naruto decided that since Karin was there and skankiliscious as always, he'd tap that shit and would be back in the morning to apologize to Sasuke and wash the whore off of him.

Gaara looked up slightly in thought. By the looks of option one, perhaps he had been watching too many detective dramas lately.

'Damn SVU…' He muttered internally, slowly approaching the kitchenette. Seeing Sasuke's infamous fuzzy pink slippers dangling from a pair of skinny legs on the bar stool, Gaara knew that he would probably end up comforting a depressed and likely pissy Uchiha this morning. The slippers meant that Sasuke was feeling "sensitive".

This time sighing loudly in what was most definitely an angsty exhale, Gaara slowly began looking up. "What happened last night, Sa---heeeeeehhhhh?"

Naruto looked up at Gaara from his toast and chewed thoughtfully. "Wow, Gaara. That was the most unintelligible noise of confusion I've ever heard you make! And I was with you when we watched 'Dead Leaves'. What's up?"

The redhead could only gape and stare at the blonde moron…currently clad in seemingly nothing but Sasuke's fuzzy pink bathrobe!

It took Gaara a few seconds of spluttering before a perverse, and no doubt terrifying grin broke out on his normally stoic features. "Well, I'll be damned. You did it. You fucked the Uchiha." Despite his harsh tone, Gaara was still grinning like a fool at him. (Albeit a fool who had just escaped from an insane asylum.)

Naruto scowled at him and rolled his eyes. "Maaaaan, I wish! That prude wouldn't even let me give him a fellatio! If I had only known that 'other things' involved me holding him all night while he cried and talked about his feelings, I would've taken Karin up on her offer months ago!" Despite Naruto's exasperated tone, Gaara could still see fondness shining in his eyes when he mentioned holding Sasuke all night. It was…endearing.

"Morning."

The pair looked out towards the hallway to see Sasuke stepping out of the bathroom, a thin cloud of steam billowing out behind him. He was dressed casually in a dark t-shirt and jeans and apparently hadn't blow-dried his hair enough since it still had that "freshly showered" look. He barely gave Gaara a second glance before he walked over to Naruto and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and wrapped his arms around his middle from behind.

"You're up early. I thought you didn't have class?" Sasuke murmured lowly against the shell of his ear, rubbing his stomach soothingly through the pink fuzzy bathrobe.

Naruto turned slightly to smile dazzingly at him. "Well, you sorta woke me up this morning with your alarm and all, and I thought I'd see you off."

Sasuke smiled happily and leaned in to brush their lips together. "Yeah, yeah, I know you. You'll act sweet the first week we're dating, and then in about a month you'll be back to your old fatass lazy ways."

Naruto laughed loudly against his lips. "Ah, bastard, you know me so well."

Gaara gagged a little, and quickly covered his mouth with his left palm.

"What's wrong, Gaara? Are you okay?"

Gaara shook his head and swallowed thickly, panting. "I think I almost threw up."

"Huh…" Naruto eyed him strangely and shrugged. "Well, Gaara I always thought that you were one to bat for the other team, personally. I didn't think you'd wind up a homo-phobe."

Now looking a little Christmas colored due to the green tint his skin had taken on and his already vibrant red hair, Gaara was quick to reply. "Dumbass, I was trying to help you two! I think it's all the love in the air…It's like anthrax."

Sasuke sneered at him and hugged Naruto more firmly around the waist. "Maybe you should leave then, so you don't catch it." He said harshly, cuddling closer to his dobe.

"By now, Temari's probably gotten over her hangover. It's probably safe for me to return home." Gaara grinned lecherously at them again. "Although, if I leave, I fear that Naruto won't be able to sit down for a week."

Naruto gaped at him in shock and mortification. "Seriously? Seriously? Why the hell does everyone just assume I'll be the one getting my butt plugged? Huh? It's the scars, isn't it?" He pulled his cheeks down distastefully, as if stretching the slashes would make them go away.

Sasuke patted his back in mock sympathy. "There, there, my little uke…Sasuke-sama will make it aaaaaaaaaall better."

Naruto pulled away and jumped off the stool. "Yeah, with your cock up my ass? NOOOOO THANKS!" With that he "bravely" ran into the bathroom and locked the door. And mind you, he did not flee.

Sasuke watched him go with a blank look in his eyes. "Thanks, asshole. Do you have any idea how hard it's going to be getting him out of that bathroom and on his back before eight o'clock? Do you?"

Gaara chuckled darkly and walked over to the corner where his overnight bag was. "Don't mention it." He picked up his duffel and headed towards the door. "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff later tonight. I don't have the time or the patience to wait for him to get out of the bathroom."

Taking a good look at Sasuke, and then one at the bathroom door, Gaara said blankly, "I'll be sure to call first. I'd hate to walk in on anything."

Despite his earlier insinuations, Sasuke still turned tomato-red and began babbling profusely. "As if I'd…I'll have you know, that I am a gentleman! I don't fu--make love to people as soon as I start dating them!"

Once again, Gaara's gaze shifted between Sasuke and the bathroom door. "I'll definitely call first." He stated decidedly, apparently not convinced by Sasuke's little argument, and began heading to the door.

"Oh, and Sasuke," he called softly over his shoulder. "Despite your impressions of me, I had fun and it was nice meeting you."

Sasuke sneered internally. 'How polite.' "Yes, it was nice. Just remember how not-so-nice it could've been if you would have made a move on Naruto, and we'll get along just great in the future."

Rolling his eyes slightly, Gaara just nodded his head and turned the knob. "Tell Naruto I said goodbye." He said calmly before walking out the door and clicking the door shut.

Sasuke stood alone in the empty room for a few minutes in thought. He quickly glanced down and checked his watch.

'7:36…Juuuuuust enough time for a quickie.'

"Hey, dobe! Are you in the mood for ramen?"

A gasp. "RAAAAAAMEN?" Naruto fumbled with the lock on the door briefly before it burst open and he ran out into the living room where his new boyfriend was waiting with a smirk. "Sasuke, are you offering?" He asked hopefully. You could practically see his tail wagging.

Sasuke smirked perversely and stepped closer and closer to his dobe, pinning him against the wall with his body and forearm, effectively preventing escape. "Dobe…" He breathed huskily, leaning in slowly to capture Naruto's lips in a slow and sensuous kiss. "I have something for you that's much better than ramen…"

---

ZOMGHOLYSHITLOAF ITS FINALLY DONE! Sorry, it only took me...what, a YEAR? I dunno...Double sorry it's so short and lacks a lemon...I don't feel like it, truthfully. :P Read my other story if you want some pron. I think it's called Preparation...It can be viewed as a companion piece to this one. If not...I'll definitely smut in the future, so don't be TOO upset. XD

If you haven't abandoned this story due to lack of updating and overall fail, REVIEW PLZ. It makes rainbows and unicorns in my SOUL. :D