Turned Tables
Alright, I would like to thank xXJashin-rocksXx, Furrywolfpup, Dominno, ocean stone, and Kyra213 for their reviews! GO GIVE THEM LOVE! :3 And Special thanks to 'I Spaz With Pizzazz'! He (she?) has given me the best (and longest) review so far! GIVE HIM (her?) EXTRA LOVE!! :D Now, on with the story!
I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction, and gain no profit from this literary work. All characters and likenesses belong to Masashi Kishimoto, and their respective owners…….I OWN NOTHING. D:
-kitty1994
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Hidan, still facing away from Kakuzu, continued his ranting unhindered.
"I SAID, PUT ME DOWN! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE FUCKING HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING?! JASHIN DAMN YOU ALL! YOU'RE HEATHENS, ALL OF YOU! NOW LET ME GO, SO I CAN SACRIFICE YOU TO THE GREAT LORD JASHIN! YO-"
"HIDAN!" Kakuzu shouted. Hidan paused for a moment before speaking.
"Kakuzu? Is that you?" he questioned. In response, Kakuzu just turned Hidan's head around to face him, showing Hidan's puzzled expression. The silence between them lasted a bit longer before Hidan broke it.
"YOU BASTARD! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAS STUCK IN THAT HOLE?! I KNOW I DON'T, BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING UNDERGROUND FOR JASHIN-KNOWS HOW LONG!" Hidan ranted. Kakuzu, having expected this, merely dug a rag out of his pocket and stuffed it into Hidan's mouth, cutting his rant short. Hidan glared at Kakuzu in response.
"Now," Kakuzu started calmly," We need to get you sewn back together, and be on our way, before those genin see through the shadow clones, and bring the whole population of Konoha ninja down on our heads." Hidan said something that sounded like 'fine'. Then again, knowing Hidan, it also could have been anything along the lines of 'fuck you, you atheist bastard'. Ignoring his 'answer', Kakuzu began the tedious process of reattaching all of Hidan's limbs.
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On the way back to the village, Shino noticed a few odd things about the guards that had retrieved them. For one, they weren't even headed in the direction of the village. For another thing, they kept glancing back menacingly at them. Hinata and Kiba seemed to have noticed too, because they fell back a little to talk to him.
"Hey, Shino," Kiba said, "Something's up with those two guards." Hinata nodded.
"Yeah. They're acting really strange….." she added.
"Like turning back periodically and glaring menacingly at us? And that we're not even remotely heading in the direction of the village?" Shino stated in monotone.
"Yeah, there's that," Kiba said, rolling his eyes, "But that wasn't what I noticed. Their shirts aren't on backwards." Hinata looked surprised.
"R-Really? I'd noticed that they weren't bumping into each other…..." she said. Shino looked slightly irritated.
"You think they're strange because their clothes and strides are perfectly normal?" Shino questioned. Hinata nodded.
"Yeah, who doesn't?" Kiba questioned. Shino promptly slipped off while landing on the next branch.
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-Back At the Akatsuki Headquarters…-
In what was used as the living room, Deidara fiddled with the remote control for the TV. Whilst fiddling, he accidentally set a season pass on 'Scooby-Doo'.
"Stupid TiVo HD, un….."
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Kakuzu had finished putting Hidan's body back together. The only thing left to do was attach his head. Picking up Hidan's head, he was amazed at how silent he was being without the rag in his mouth. Wait a second…….. He wasn't being quiet! He was just asleep! Sewing Hidan's head onto his body, he then stood up, and angrily kicked him in the ribs.
Hidan jolted awake almost immediately.
"OW! What the hell was that for?!" He complained. Kakuzu just threw a set of clothes at Hidan, along with shoes. Grumbling about Kakuzu, Hidan sifted through the clothes.
"Hey, wait a second! I can't wear this!" he shouted indignantly, holding up a white nurse's outfit. Kakuzu glared.
"It's the only thing I could find. At least the shoes are flats, and not heels. Now, it's either that, or what you have right now," he threatened. What Hidan had was in taters, and did nothing to preserve his modesty. Not that he really had any in the first place.
In reality, Kakuzu did have normal clothes for Hidan. He had only picked up the nurse outfit because he thought he might be able to sell it to Konan, or at a village on the way to the base. But because Hidan had fallen asleep, he felt it his duty to torture him a little.
"Plus, it's only for a little while. There's a cache not far from here." All over the world, the Akatsuki had millions of secret caches, where they stored extra clothing, weapons, medical supplies, and rations. However, they were only to be used in times of emergency, so Kakuzu couldn't make him and Hidan eat the rations for every meal, instead of spending the money from the bounties he collected.
Hidan muttered angrily and pulled on the clothes he had been provided with, along with the shoes. Hidan stood up, and Kakuzu nearly laughed. Hidan was wearing the nurse's outfit, complete with hat. Hidan glared at him.
"No one, I mean NO ONE, is to EVER hear about this," Hidan said with finality. Kakuzu just started walking. After continuing in an angry silence for a few minutes, Hidan suddenly stopped. Kakuzu turned back to look at him.
"What is it?" he said irritably. Hidan started looking all over his person.
"My rosary! Where is it?!" Hidan questioned franticly. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow.
"Probably back in that hole…?" he replied. Then it clicked in his head.
"Hidan, we are NOT going back just for your stupid rosary!" Kakuzu shouted angrily. Hidan glared.
"Yes, we are!" Hidan argued, turning back around, and walking back the way they had just come from. Kakuzu could feel a vein throbbing in his forehead.
"Fine, you go back and get it. I'll meet you at the base," he said angrily, and left. Hidan, meanwhile, just continued to the battleground, to search for his and rosary (and his scythe now that he thought about it!).
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After Hidan had made it back to the site of the battle, he had the problem of figuring out exactly where his rosary and scythe were. Heading for the place where Kakuzu had dug him up, he dug some more, and soon found his scythe, but failed to find his rosary. After searching a bit more, Hidan sat back and sighed in defeat. At this rate, he was never going to be able to find his rosary! Suddenly, he had an idea. Grinning triumphantly, he set to work.
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After leaving Hidan to his own devices, Kakuzu felt kind of bad. He should have known Hidan would get all worked up about not having his rosary, and that he would insist on going to get it. Not to mention he had the attention span of a 3 year-old, meaning he was bound to get into trouble. Sighing, Kakuzu grabbed Hidan some clothes and sandals from the cache, and went back the way he had come.
When he got there, he found at least twenty Hidans, all wearing the same nurse outfit. Kakuzu immediately had the mental image of twenty Hidans doing the Can-Can. Snorting in laughter, the group of Hidans immediately turned to look at him.
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Hidan had started searching using the Shadow Clone Jutsu, but he still hadn't found his rosary. Just as he was about to give up, he heard a noise, and turned to see Kakuzu standing at the edge of the clearing. Hidan glared at him, and was about to make a smart-ass remark, when he noticed Kakuzu was holding some clothes and shoes, presumably for him.
Biting his tongue, Hidan merely dispelled the jutsu, and walked over to Kakuzu to retrieve his clothes. Pulling on the shirt, pants, sandals, and Akatsuki cloak, he turned to Kakuzu and raised an eyebrow.
"So are you going to help me look or not?" he questioned. Kakuzu just rolled his eyes, and within seconds, Hidan had to jump to the side to avoid being impaled by black threads. Less than a minute later, Kakuzu's threads receded, and he had Hidan's rosary in hand. Thrusting the rosary into Hidan's grasp, Kakuzu turned on his heel to once more resume their journey to the base, when a commotion came from some nearby bushes.
Turning toward said bushes, they were surprised to see a trio of Konoha genin emerge, ready to attack!
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In a result of Shino slipping, and falling to the ground, Kiba, Hinata, and the two 'guards' stopped to look back at him. Picking himself up off the ground, Shino dusted himself off, as Kiba and Hinata landed next to him.
"Hey, Shino, you alright?" Kiba questioned. Hinata also looked worried. Shino, still wiping dirt from his face and clothes, nodded.
"Yes, I'm fine. However, those aren't the guards from the gate. They're shadow clones." Shino stated calmly pointing at the would-be imitators. The two guards turned to face them fully, and smirked evilly.
"So, you've finally noticed, eh?" he grinned, glancing to his cohort. The other charlatan grinned and chuckled, and opened his mouth to start his villainous speech, when his eyes widened in surprise, and disappeared into a cloud of smoke, the kunai that had pierced his chest falling to lodge itself in the branch he was standing on.
The first imposter's eyes widened in surprise as he stared at the spot his companion was in just moments before. He turned to glare at the trio.
"No," Shino replied, "I'd noticed for awhile now that there was something strange about you; however, you've just confirmed it."
"You killed Kenny! You bastard!" the guard shouted angrily. With that, he pulled out a kunai and charged the three genin.
(A.N. – What, you expected an awesome fight scene? No, I'll save that for later……fu-fu-fu-fu!)
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After disposing of the remaining shadow clone, Hinata Shino and Kiba were left with figuring out what to do next. Shino looked up after a great pause.
"Well, one of us should go tell Lady Tsunade. However, if we're going to go stall the perpetrators, it would be best to have all three of us," Shino said, looking up at his team mates. Hinata stepped forward, a determined look on her face.
"I'll go warn Lady Tsunade. I wouldn't be that much of a help in a fight, so at least this way I'd be making myself useful!" she said with vigor. Shino and Kiba looked at her.
"You're sure?" Kiba questioned. "We could always tie a note to Akamaru and send him." Hinata just shook her head.
"No," she said, "Akamaru is an important part of your jutsu Kiba! If there's going to be a fight, its best he's with you!" Kiba just nodded. Shino stepped forward to talk.
"Alright then. Hinata, you go inform Hokage-sama and send for some back up. Kiba, you and me will go and try to stall whoever sent those shadow clones." With that, they all disappeared into different parts of the forest.
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Sprinting along the tree branches, Shino and Kiba raced to the scarred battlegrounds. Starting, Shino looked to his left. Out of the brush came a figure.
"Naruto? What are you doing here?" he questioned. Naruto just grinned.
"Tsunade Baa-Chan sent me to help you guys out! I ran into Hinata on the way here, and she told me everything!" he announced, still grinning. Shino just nodded, and hurried towards their goal. Reaching a spot just outside of the clearing, Shino held out a hand, signaling them to stop. Jumping down to the forest floor, he crouched down and crept toward the bushes concealing them. Parting a few branches, he peered out to see two men talking, both wearing Akatsuki cloaks.
Glancing back to Naruto and Kiba, who had also jumped down and were crouching behind him, he motioned jumping out into the clearing. Naruto and Kiba both nodded, and readied their kunai, tensing, waiting for Shino's signal. With a flick of his hand, Shino motioned them all forward, and they jumped out into the clearing.
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Well, what do you think? Yes, I put in a reference to 'South Park'. So sue me…….. No, wait, I take it back! DON'T SUE!!