Epilogue

Ned and I were going on our first vacation. Rod and Todd had never been happier than when I announced that Ned and I were getting married. It seems I reminded them of their mother, too. The beach was crowded and the sand was glowing. Little Sally, the baby of Selma and Lou, was already building sand castles with Ralph Wiggum. The two became fast friends.

Comic Book Guy looked stunning in his bathing suit. No one covered their eyes when he walked by. His body was in shape and handsome. Kieran Macintosh literally drooled at the sight. Though envy had been removed, Waylon Smithers still had enough common sense to give him an ultimatum—pick him or Comic Book Guy. But since Comic Book Guy was just a pretty face, the two of them were happy. With the money that they had been making more of ever since Homer Simpson became the best employee in the plant, Waylon bought Kieran a diamond ring, which was returned with a cubic zirconium ring. But the material value of one gift did not mean the person out-loved the other, and Waylon knew it too.

Kirk and Luann van Houten got remarried… to each other, and more importantly spent all their time with Milhouse rather than alone with each other. The family was a complete triangle once again.

Sideshow Bob whispered something in Sideshow Mel's ear. They both started laughing. Sideshow Mel announced, "Krusty! Your sandwich is here!" Krusty took a bite out of the sandwich and tasted worms! There were many worms wriggling about on the sandwich.

"Just a harmless prank," responded Sideshow Bob, "Not like MURDER or anything like that."

I began to bond with Ned's sons, and soon they started calling me Mommy. The entire world was happy and in sync. But last night I saw Waylon Smithers weeping at the grave of Montgomery Burns. I looked at him and said, "Drop a bouquet on the grave."

"A bouquet? But where can I find such beautiful flowers to mourn him?" he cried.

"Ahem…" said Ned, "There's a nice selection in Homer's well-kept garden, and I'm sure if you ask him nicely, he'll give you some."

"You know, a year and a half ago today, I would have said, 'What would he possibly think of me being in love with the boss he has disdain for', but now I think that's a very good idea. Thank you" he said, kissing Ned on the cheek. "Hey, if Kieran can drool at beefcake it's only fair!"

But we all knew where Montgomery Burns was right now. He was not burning in hell. He was up in heaven with my superior, behaving as a very conservative financial advisor. He took into account all the people and believed that rich and middle class people should decide of their own accord to help the poor. Some things, such as his political stance, never change. But the things that do help us see the future.

Selma Bouvier may never be a non-smoker or a conversational spark, but if she can get married for real, have a kid, and not leave, she can change anything.

Montgomery Burns may never be a democrat or even have the green earth thought at heart, but my new husband was a republican too… and charitable republicans have more merits than democrats for taking matters into their own hands instead of relying on the government.

Waylon Smithers is always submissive and always loving Montgomery Burns. But if he can be satisfied with whom he is and what he has, his life can drastically improve.

Sideshow Bob never likes be abused, but if he can hold it in like Mel, who likes it just as little, kids will ask for his autograph instead of cowering in fear.

Homer Simpson might still like to eat and have a short attention span, but the work he does when paying attention now more than makes up for it.

Comic Book Guy will probably never "get a life" outside of geekiness, but at least he will no longer binge when people tell him to.

And Snake… well, his shame may have been overwhelming, but I know deep down he's a spark ready to happen, and maybe his shame will actually trigger his next move. One can always hope it won't though.

Ned had defeated the seven Cardinal Sins, and he and I were together in the newly peaceful town of Springfield.

The End.