E/N: This is my first fanfic ever. Be nice, please. (: x

11.05 p.m.

Sitting on a curb

Marvy, BLOODY marvy.

One minute later

Once again, I'm all aloney..

One minute later

On my owney..

One minute later

God, this is really naff. Not even the Ace Gang around to comfort me in my loss. Well, that would probably be because I told them to go inside because I didn't want anyone around, but still.. Who listens to that kind of rubbish? What kind of mates are they anyway? Listening to nonsense like that..

One minute later

You must be thinking: Georgia, stand up, go inside, party with your so called mates!

But it's not that simple. If only I was able to stand up, I would go in.

11.10 p.m.

Because unfortunately, or fortunately for their eaters, tarts don't have legs. And I'm a tart, so, I have no legs. That is God's Holy invention, because, if tarts had legs, they would run away. And who would want that?

One minute later

Plus, I was not quite able to use all my vital thingies, i.e. my legs, because I was having a bit of a crying thing going on.

Two minutes later

Masimo.

Robbie.

Dave the Laugh.

They would most definitely want me to run away.

Far, far away.

Two minutes later

I'll just head on home.

11.20 p.m.

As I was approaching my street with my swollen eyes, Dave the Laugh came popping up again (oo-er), and he looked rather Dave the Unlaugh-ish.. "Dave, what in the name of pants are you doing here?" He just looked at me. I said "Right, excuse me, but I was actually trying to get home." He looked away, and still didn't say anything. "Tonight, that is." He looked at me and said: "Gee, have you been crying?" "No." I anwsered, but I could feel a slight crying urge coming up again. "Gee.. I'm sorry if I made the Italian Stallion break up with you, I never meant to hurt you. I meant to hurt him, not you." He grinned. In the poonosity of this situation he was still grinning. That's of course, why he's called Dave the Laugh. Na gut. "But.. Did he break up with you?" Yes, good question.. "I don't know.. He really seemed to got the humpty dumpty.." Dave laughed. He really has a gorgey laugh.. DOWN RED BOTTOM! SHUTUP BRAIN! "The humpty dumpty?" "Yes, yes.. The full hump, the walking away, trying to maintain as much dignitosity as possible." He laughed again, even though it didn't really make sense. "That's what I like about you Georgia.. You are quite on the mad side, and quite good of making a fool out of yourself, but still.." But still what? Shut up brain, I am asking the questions here. "But still what?" "But still quite good at blowing my specific horn.." I expected him to snog me, and my lips started puckering up, but I was girding my loins. So busy girding my loins that I didn't quite realize what he was saying..

And then it hit me. I just looked at him. I didn't want to spoil the moment by unleashing my enormous conk but, I smiled. My big fat nosey smile, not even keeping my nose in, no tongue behind teeth, just, a smile. He smiled back and, God, he was so gorgey. Gorgey porgey, in fact. He said "Think about it, Gee. No matter what you decide, I'll be there for you anyway, you know that, right?" I nodded. "Well. Tatty bye then. Never eat anything bigger than your head!" And he was off.

Midnight

I stormed in and dropped on the couch. Mutti and Vati were nowhere to be seen, so I considered myself safe. Suddenly, I was so hungry..

Two minutes later

I wasn't hungry, was I?

12.30 a.m.

In bed

I think that Dave the Laugh has given me a serious stroke of the old butterflies.

Five minutes later

What was all that rambling about the specific horn? He's still with Emma, his girlfriend. You would, could and MUST assume that he has the specific horn for his girlfriend, right?

And why am I emphasizing the word girlfriend so much?

One minute later

I will never get to sleep again, how am I ever making up my mind anyway if I don't.. ZZZZZZZZ..

Sunday september 18th

9.45 a.m.

What the hell happened? I just passed out!

9.52 a.m.
Bathroom

Oh, marvelous, because I passed out and didn't cleanse and tone, I'm once again Pandy the Panda.

Eight minutes later

I'm never going to get this off properly.

Five minutes later

I'm now a red eyed loon. With a swollen face. Fabulous. Just really, fab. As if I don't have enough to worry about already.

10.10 a.m.
Kitchen

I'm actually eating cereal right now. Mum has done groceries! It's a miracle!

Two minutes later

The Dave the L. pond snogging – fiasco is nearly two months ago, and I still haven't made up my mind.. I feel like a bum.

10.30 a.m.

Let's see if Mutti's genius book How to make any twit fall in love with you has any advice on multi-boyfriend-choosing fandango's.

Two minutes later

Oh, this is vair, vair fab, possibly far away grooving away on Marv! It actually has a chapter called "Making up your mind on multiple relationships."

Three minutes later

Jas called.

"Gee!"

"Jas.."

"So, did he dump you?"

So subtle, that besty of mine.

"No, Jas, he didn't.."

"Why not?"

"Blimey Jas, aren't you the best of friends! You should be saying 'Cor, Georgia, of course he won't dump you, you're so full of maturosity and sophisticosity, he'll stay with you whatever Laughish type strolls around."

"We both know that isn't true, Georgia."

I slammed the phone down.

Two minutes later

Jazzy Spazzy called back!

"Gee! He didn't dump you then?"

"No, not really."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know."

"Oke. Let me know when you do!"

And she hung up on me.

Ah well. Back to important stuff. The book.

10.45 a.m.

It says to list positive and negative points, and compensate them. Oh! I already did that with the Sex God and the Lurve God! This shouldn't be so hard..

11.15 a.m.

Uhh.

So, this is what I have so far.

Dave the L.

Positives

He's a great laugh.

He think's I'm a great laugh

We're pretty good mates

Even when I'm talking complete nonsense, he understands

He's quite gorgey looking

He has a great smile

He introduced nip libbling to the Snogging Scale

When he calles me Sex Kitty, I truly feel like one (Not like a prostitute, argh! Like I'm the only fish in his sea I mean! I have to explain everything to you, don't I now?)

When we went out (i.e. when I used him as a red herring/decoy duck to persuade the Sex God), he was of the sweet and quite romantic side sort of thing

Even though he makes me go jelloid when he does his lip nibbling thing, most of the time I don't make myself look like a prat when I'm with him

He fought for me (sort of), even though he didn't really mean to

He can cope with Angus, Libby, and my "parents", not many blokes are capable of that

Speaking of my parents, where have they gone?

Negatives

Though he says stuff like "You blow my specific horn" (I just realized what a big fat oo-er that is!), he has a girlfriend, so has practically plighted his troth, and his specific horn. To someone else. Who is not me, and is probably nicer and kinder that I'll ever be.

He can be quite Dave the Unlaugh-ish when things don't work out the way he wants it.

He isn't very direct when it comes to feelings. At the pond-snogging fiasco he said he fancied the Queen. It took me ages to figure out that I was in fact the Queen, in his speaking terms.. And he said that I was a quite honorably bloke, which is quite strange, because after he said that, he said he loved me, because I am a honorably bloke. Does that make him a homosexualist? I'll probably just need to ask him.

And, err..

Err..

I only have three negatives? For Dave? The Laugh? That can't be right.. Hum.

Masimo

Positives

He is an aspiring popgod

He makes me go jelloid, just by talking to me

He is gorgey porgey jummy scrumboes, that is le fact.

He is a vair good snogger, mostly because of his foreigner change-thing (First kissing hard, then soft, then hard)

He has a Vespa

Negatives

He doesn't understand what I'm saying most of the time, and I don't understand him

He goes of with Lindsey quite a lot, even though he should be going off with me, being his somewhat-girlfriend-girl

He makes me go jelloid, just by talking to me (it is a curse, as well as an advantage..) which makes me dribble like a headless arse. (If arses would have heads. Which they haven't. Stop whining, you know what I mean!)

He got all mad when I did the twist with The Laugh, he is a bit on the overreactive side. Just as the fisticuffs at dawn – thing, I mean, Dave was just joking.

Noon
Oh my giddy gods pyjama's. I just realized a vair, vair important thing. I understand what Ro-Ro meant when she was dribbling on about being mates, and being snogging partners! Just look at how shallow my Masimo-list is. My bond with Dave is much stronger. Whatever that bond might resemble. We're mates, but also..

I'm going to shut up now, I'm starting to sound like Jas.

12.10 p.m.

I have a point, though.

12.15 p.m.

I think I might have the Specific Horn.

12.16 p.m.

For Dave.

12.17 p.m.

WHAT?!

2 p.m.

Bored. None of the Ace Gang has rung me. Why? Don't they care?! I was practically dumped yesterday, however not officially, but could-be-dumped, and all they do is.. NOTHING.

2.15 p.m.

Typico. And because I'm all alone again I have to anwser the door.

One minute later

"Ciao Georgia, come sta? Can I come in, please?" I said "Oh, Masimo, hi, er, I was just going to, er, go." "No, no, that's okay, eh, it's not going to be that long, si?"

Ten minutes later

So, that's it, I'm officially single girl now. And I don't even feel that bad, I just feel a bit like a vole. But even voles have boyfriends, look at Po. She and Hunky are still together and such. I'm getting a bit teary.

Masimo said: "So, bella, about yesterday, er, I don't know, eh.. I guess I need to tell you sorry.. That mate of yours, Dave, he just.." "I understand.." "Thank you, miss Georgia, but I need to ask you one question.." "Si?" He looked at me really sad and said "Oh, beautiful Georgia. Are you and Dave just mates, or..--?" I should have said: "Yes, yes! Masimo, you are the only fish in my sea!" ..and so on, but I said "I really don't know.." He said "This makes me really sad, but perhaps it is better if we are not boyfriend and girlfriend, si, cara?" I had a situation of the mad brain going on. I managed to gulge out a small "Okay.."

3 p.m.

Jas rang.

"Gee, it's me."

"Well, this is me too." Playing the game back - whatsit. Teehee!

"Stop it. What's the deal with Masimo? Have you heard from him?"

"Well, he just came over, and, well.."

"What?"

"Well. Ngungh." I started sniffing.

"Ok, I'll be there in a flash."

3.30 p.m.

"Half an hour is not exactly what I call a 'flash', Jas.."

"I know, but I ran into Hu.. Tom on the way."

I just looked at her fringe.

She started flicking it.

I laughed in my head.

"So, what happened?"

4.15 p.m.

I told Jas everything, I even showed her the lists I made. The only thing she could say was "Wow." "Wowywow." And, of couse "Blimey!"

I said "Cor, Jas, can't you say anything else besides blimey?"

"Bli.. Er, Crikey!" Ooh, Deja-whatsit!

"Don't start that business with me again, Jas."

She just went like "What, what?!"

Monday september 19th

7 a.m.

Teehee! Angus managed to get onto my bed! He's lying at my feet now, I'm so proud! "Oh good morning, my sweet chummly wummly!" He just looked at me. I knew that mischievous cat-grin, he was up to something.

Oh, bugger.

One minute later

Ow, ow, bloody buggering ow! He is doing that clawy thing again. I looked to my right, to look at my alarm clock, and I got the shock of my life. I twitched, and Angus clawed my leg harder. Oww!

Gordy was laying there, looking at me. (Well, his one eye was looking at me, his other eye was focussed somewhere by Angus..)

7.28 a.m.

Cleansing, toning, basic and almost invisible make-up. I still hadn't bought new soap, since one of my darling cats had eaten it. I had to use my darling Mutti's washing-gel then..

7.50 a.m.

"Georgia, have you used my shower gel? You smell like it.." "Mutti, don't be so ridiculous, I haven't even showered!" I did a fake laugh, grabbed a piece of toast, and headed out the door.

8.05 a.m.

Teehee, I escaped! Now I have another 8 hours of Stalag 14 to look forward to! Jippee! (Like Rolf Harris would say: "Yaroo!")

8.06 a.m.

I'm making not-funny inside jokes. I'm going mad. It must be because of my singlenosity..

Assembly

Blah, blah, blah, dribble, dribble, arse. Hawkeye had put me and Rosie apart. Rosie was now 4 rows behind me, sitting next to P. Green. I felt something hitting my head, and I turned around, to see Rosie with a big unibrow on her forhead. Oh, I laughed, only to get myself ANOTHER warning from Hawkeye. What is wrong with this place? Suddenly, Slim got to the more slimey parts in life. "..Also, I would like to draw the attention to our prefects, who have done an excellent job maintaining order in the hallways. Lindsay, Monica, would you please come forward?" You can't be serious. I turned around to look at Rosie, she wiggled her eyebrow at me.

Slim said "I would like a round of applause for these excellent students!" Oh, what larks! About 4 people actually clapped. The titches, Nauseating P. Green and some twit in the back, who keeped yelling "WHOOO! WHOOO!"

The Ace Gang was shaking up. Hawkeye gave us the Hawk Eye. As we walked out, she said "I will be taking a conduct mark from all of you. Georgia Nicolson, in your case, TWO. Now, walk on!" We all just laughed. Once in the hallway, we had a short Viking Disco Inferno, and rumbled on to our "education".

4.10 p.m.

I casually peeked towards the gates. At least Masimo isn't waiting for Lindsay. But drat, drat, buggering drat, what in the name of arse is Dave the Laugh doing here? I wondered aloud, and Ellen immediately got into a 7 (complete ditherspaz), and started droning on, flicking her hair around, as a dithering tomato. Jas was looking at me like a looking-at-thing, I just kept my cool. Strangely, I didn't really care about what I looked like when I was around Dave. He probably only would notice the Nunga's anyway. Oo-er, but I did roll my skirt up. Twice. Teehee!

One minute later

Some of the other Foxwood lads are waiting too. The rest of the gang started ditherspazzing, until Dave yelled "THERE ARE MY BITCHES!" We stopped walking and looked at him. He said "Come to Vati, come to Vati!"

Two minutes later

Walking off with the Gang, Tom, Sven, Rollo, Dec and Dave. Edward wasn't there but Mabs didn't really mind, as I quote "Well, one snog in the hand, ten in the air!", which I obviously didn't get. We all didn't, really, everybody was looking at her, she was in a strop like "What, what?"

Dave and I were just walking along, as always, him having his arm around me and such, as if there was no Fisticuffs at Dawn – fiasco. I was secretely glad that Dec came around, that would get me and Dave all aloney. Well, not all aloney as we were together, obviously, but.. Ah, buggeration, you get my point, don't you?

Five minutes later

Normally, Dave and I walk the last part off together, but he walked off with Rollo? What in the name of arse has gotten in to him?

Home

Giddy God's pyjama's. I might know what's gotten into him.

One minute later

The specifc HUMP.

One minute later

Has he got the hump with me? But why?

One minute later

Perhaps it's about the Italian Stallion.

10 seconds later

The ex-Italian Stallion.

5 seconds later

But he doesn't know that.

One second later

Oh, bugger.

Thursday september 22nd

8.30 p.m.
Mon boudoir

Haven't seen Dave in two days. And to be honest, it makes me feel a bit drowsy.

One minute later

There's a gig on Saturday. I really don't want to go, but as the Ace Gang is probably going to make me go, I'll won't even try not going, if you see what I mean.

One minute later

Oh, just leave it. I don't even see what I mean. My brain is once again off to Loon Land, with a certain Dave the L. to blame.

Two minutes later

But I really don't want to go! I don't want to see Masimo, being all gorgey porgey, doing his popstar thingy. Wet Lindsay will probably be all over him, and that's just something I can't bear right now.

One minute later

Did I just say 'bear'? I still surprise myself with my hilariosity and poonosity sometimes..

Two minutes later

Got myself a glass of water.

One minute later

Phone's ringing. Certainly, somebody will be downstairs to pick it up..

5 seconds later

"Georgia, run downstairs and pick up the phone, will you?"

No, Vati, I will not.

2 seconds later

"GEORGIA, PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!"

7 seconds later

I put my glass in between my door and it's post-thingy, so it won't blow shut, and ran downstairs.

It's so bloody windy in here, it's not even normal.

One second later
Jas.

"Gee, are you going to the gig on Saturday?"

"No."

"You should go, it will be fun!"

"No."

"Gee.. I know you don't want to see Masimo, but.. You could hang round with me and Hunky, you know.."

I was about to say NO, FOR GOD'S SAKE, SAVE ME!

But then I heard "CLANG-BASH" coming from upstairs.

"Jas. No."

And I hung up.

Three seconds later

"GEORGIA! What has happened here, for GOD'S SAKE!"

I went upstairs.

One second later

Hahahahahaha! My glass has exploded! The glass is all over the hallway. Hilarious.

Two seconds later

And Mutti is just cleaning it up! Hahahaha!

Ten minutes later

Oh, bloody hell.

One minute later

Vati gave me a lecture on being responsible with glass. I yawned, a bit exaggerated, but not much, and he got into a fit about my "bloody cheekiness". Again.

One minute later

I'm getting so bored around here.

Saturday september 24th

2.35 p.m.

Oh, buggeration. I only have about 4 hours left to get ready. The Gang's meeting at the tower at 7.30

5 minutes later

Cleanse and tone

Concealer

Foundation

Eyeshadow

Eyeliner

Mascara

Lippy

Lipgloss

4.05 p.m.

I put big curling-thingys in my hair, for the volume. They kinda hurt.

4.36 p.m.

Jeans or skirt?

Five minutes later

Skirt.

One minute later

No! Jeans, just in case Sven starts chucking me around on tables and so on. You can never be too precautious when around Vikings.

One minute later

I'll wear my dark blue skinny jeans, for the Sex Kitty effect.

One minute later

What?! You never know..!

5 p.m.

I just can't decide on which shirt to wear!

5.10 p.m.

My choices:

Black t-shirt with puffy shoulder-things

Black "Groove on, groovster!" – top

Red tank top, which gives a bit Nunga-Nunga – visiblity

Blue tight t-shirt with bow-tie-thingy

5.30 p.m.

I'll go with the blue one. I think it displays a bit maturosity on the fashion side, with a hint of accenturating the Nunga's. Just a bit.

One minute later

I'm getting the curlers out.

5.40 p.m.

Oh buggeration. I look like a poodle.

One minute later

Well, I would look like a poodle if poodles had two big circle-things on top of their heads.

One minute later

I'll just rinse my hair and then blow-dry it. That would be able to do the trick.

One minute later

What trick?

One minute later

SHUT UP, BRAIN, SHUT UP! Don't start confusing me.

Twenty minutes later

Well, I look.. Decent. I parted my hair to the side, so my fringe is halfway over my forehead. It makes my nose look smaller.

1 second later

A bit.

1 second later

A teeny weeny bitty bit.

2 seconds later

Maybe.

5 minutes later

I put a bit of Mutti's hair-stuff in my fringe, just to keep it in place.

I don't want to end up like Mrs. Huffy Knickers, flicking my fringe all night.

10 minutes later

Oh drat. SHOES!

6.30 p.m.

I decided on black flats. You never know when my brain goes on a holiday and decides to make me tip over, or other utterly poo actions. Which I won't list, just because of the Buddha-karma thing. You never know.

7.30 p.m

Clocktower

Rosie and Sven are both dressed in gold. Unbelievable.

5 minutes later

Sven is wearing plateau shoes.

One second later

GOLD-coloured plateau shoes, to be exact.

Two minutes later

I told the Ace Gang about the Masimo – situation. The main opinion is that I just should be cool bananas and ignorez vous him.

8 p.m

We're in!

Sven just carried us inside. I feel a bit strange now.

Tarts' wardrobe

Perfecting my lippy. My fringe is still where it's supposed to be.

9.30 p.m.

The Dylans sure are late. I don't see Dave anywhere either.

Ten minutes later

Wet Lindsay has arrived, with her sad "posse" trailing behind her. She's shooting daggers at me with her teeny-weeny eyes. I'll just stare at her forehead.

Three seconds later

We're all staring at her forehead. She put her hand over it. Hahahaha! The Ace Gang strikes again!

Ten minutes later

I'm on Sven's back. He's trailing me around like some sort of hump/backpack. I feel a bit drowsy.

Eight minutes later

He just set me down on a barstool.

One second later

Oh, bugger. The Dylans have started setting up their stuff. Masimo came on stage, and I almost got a heart attack. I've got to find Jas.

Two minutes later

Found Jas. She's snogging Hunky. I've turned into a goosegog. Bugger.

One minute later

The Dylans have started playing. The club immediately started bouncing.

Half an hour later

They're playing a cracking set. I found Rosie and Sven. They're headbanging. I decided to just join them. I don't have any Sex or Lurve Gods to worry about anyway. And where's Dave? Probably with his girlfriend, who happens to be nicer than me.

Seven minutes later

Fixed my hair and went off to get drinks. The Dylans started a cover of the song 'Cold Hard Bitch'. Masimo is looking at me. Oh, poo.

Two seconds later

Dave the Laugh appeared, out of nowhere. "Gee, your girlfriend seems a bit mad. Any idea who he's singing at?" I looked up at Masimo.

"Talking about girlfriends, where's yours?"

Masimo saw me talking to Dave and gave me the deadliest of all looks. He sang "Cold hard BITCH, just one kiss on the lips, and I was on my knees!"

I started to get all teary.

Dave looked at Masimo, and said "Gee, what's going on?"

I did stormies off.

So.. What do you think? Please R&R (;