Shawn sat across from me on my bed, nimble, practiced fingers twirling a baseball around his hands

Shawn sat across from me on my bed, nimble, practiced fingers twirling a baseball around his hands. His brown hair fell in loose locks around his face, eyes lost in another world that I wasn't a part of. I had offered to let him stay over my house for the night, but he had yet to say anything. "Shawn?" I finally asked. No response. "Shawn. You in there?" I tapped his shoulder with my hand in an attempt to get a response. "What cory, what?" He sighed, not turning around. "Are you okay?" I already knew the answer before he spoke, what had been his reflex for the past few years.

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Look at me and say that."

"Why should I?"

"Then you're not okay, Shawn." I sat next to him, placing an arm around his shoulders. He shivered, finally looking at me.

"Please don't do that." His face was hurt, broken. I took my arm off, but refused to give up. If there was a way I could help him, I was determined to find out how.

"Shawnzie... you know I'm here for you. I always have been, and I always will be. But I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on.

"You're in love with Topanga." He stated matter-of-factly.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It means you can't help me! You have the love of your life. You're not stuck here waiting for him to finally realize that you two are supposed to be together forever. You're not stuck here watching him fall in love with some girl that is totally wrong for him. Some girl that can never know him as well as you do, and wouldn't know what was best for him if it punched her in her god-damned nose!"

"I'm confused..."

"And you think I'm not? I mean godDAMN."

"Are you gay, Shawn?" I was completely lost. Was that what he was trying to tell me? And who was this guy he was watching? What did this have to do with Topanga? I felt my eyebrows knit together as I tried to decipher what he was saying. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, eyes closing as he took a deep breath.

"That doesn't matter right now."

"Well then what does matter?"

"Nevermind, Cor. Nevermind."

"No, really." I prodded. I almost had him. Almost. "It's no big deal. There's nothing you can do, I was stupid to even bring it up." "Fine then. We will just have to sit here until you are willing to talk about it." I sat next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You don't want to do that, Cory. You don't."

"Do what?"

"Get this close to me. I'm loosing my self control as it is." He grimaced, tossing his shoulder back and letting my hand fall off.

"What, you want to hit me?" Come on, do it." I put my hands on his shoulders, face a few inches away from his. "Right here," I pointed at my face. "I can take it. Bring it on."

"No, Cor. It's not that. I won't hit you."

"If it will make you feel better then go right ahead. I'm ready." I closed my eyes and waited for impact. I could hear his hand lift off the bed but instead of it hitting with my face I felt it land on the back of my head and push it forwards, another pair of lips colliding with mine.