Crazy Moments in DADA

Crazy Moments in DADA

Disclaimer: Not mine. JKR's. Don't sue me. Over and out.

AN: This is a collection of crazy things that didn't happen in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but would have been funny. I was going to just do one for Fifth year, but it somehow got expanded into a series. Now there is going to be one for each year, which might take a while. On to the story now.

First one:

The scene: Quirrel is walking into his classroom for his first class of the day, third year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws.

"Everybody s-s-sit down! Quiet p-please!" Quirell called, stuttering.

The class sat down, shutting up.

"Now, everyone g-get out s-some p-p-parchment," Quirrel instructed. "T-today we w-will discuss—"

At this point, Fred raised his hand.

"Y-yes? W-w-what is it?" Said Quirrel impatiently.

Fred asked, "Where did you get the turban?"

"W-well, it was g-given to me—" Quirrel made an attempt to respond, but was cut off almost immediately by George.

"What for?" He queried.

Fred broke in with, "What's it made of?"

"Why does it smell like garlic?" Continued George.

By this time the class was laughing and Quirrel was confused.

Fred folded his parchment into a paper airplane and threw it at Quirrel's turban. The turban popped clean off his head.

George called, "Great shot Fred!"

Then Voldy woke up.

Voldy yelled, "I was asleep, fool! Put the turban back on and be quiet!"

"Uh…" Mumbled Quirell. Before he could think of something to say, the twins started up again, this time finishing each other's sentences.

Fred: "Professor, the back of your head—"

"Just talked."

"Thought you might want to—"

"Know so you could—"

"Seek medical attention because—"

"That's not normal."

Fortunately for the students, as most of them were close to passing out from laughter, Kenneth Towler walked in. "You calling someone abnormal?" He said. "That's a laugh."

In a mock-offended voice, Fred quipped: "At least we had the forethought to have only one voice per head."

"Much more sensible," George continued.

Kenneth, confused, turned to Quirrel. "Professor Quirrel," he said, "Professor McGonagall needs you in the staff room."

Quirrel, who had been standing in shock for the past few minutes, jammed his turban back on hastily, saying "Good. Read chapter one in your textbook. Class dismissed!" With that, he ran out.

Muffled voice from Quirrel's head mumbled, "Oww…"

Fortunately for Quirrell, and unfortunately for everyone else, nobody reported the odd occurrence. The eventual consensus was that there had been a spell on the paper airplane that had caused the effect, and the twins never bothered to deny the rumor. Anything that got them fame without getting them detention was a good thing, and stopping the Hogwarts Rumor Mill was an exercise in futility.

AN: Thanks so much to all you people who reviewed Fettuccini Alfredo: xTamikax, The Wandering Star, Roses of Sharon, Siriusly klutzy, RandomnessAndTea, Sorrybut, Lady Knight Keladry, GoldenWolf88, Beefcake the Mightly, Mischief7, and PolkaDotFeathers! Thanks and spaghetti for all of you!

AN: So, what do you think? Please review! If I think even one person cares, I'll update. Flames will be used to heat my house this winter. Coming up next,... Lockhart!