1.) Unohana Retsu is the oldest living female in all of Seireitei. No-one but the Commander-General knows how old, though, and none suspects it. After all, her conscience is clear, and she bears old age considerably better than some others because of it.

2.) Minazuki likes to eat Hollows whole. When she asked the giant flying ray-thing why, the answer left her giggling for a day. "They taste like chicken, mistress" it had said. Not that she tried to find out if that was true, but many centuries later a quirly pink-headed ball of barely restrained energy told her that they kinda did.

3.) Aizen Sousuke knew better than to try and stab her. Creepily efficient illusions or no, he knew that she could - and would - have reduced the area they fought into the spiritual equivalent of a radioactive crater in order to get him.

4.) She has an on-off relationship to all things alcoholic. While they help her to bear the many centuries of memories trying to crush her at times, she is a horrible lightweight and gets really, really frisky if she's too far gone for her lieutenant - whoever it is at the time, given she had more than any other captain - to rescue her. Too many fellow captains found out the hard way about this. Nonetheless, Captain Shunsui is persistently trying to get her to agree to another Great Bar Crawl Like The One Back Then, You Know The One Where You Aiiiiiinotinmyfacepleaseretsustopit.

5.) She has lost more members of her division than all captains of the 11th put together. Tragic as it is, the suicide rate amongst the Fourth is higher than the combat casualty rate amongst the premier fighting division of the Gotei 13. She hates the rules that allow this to continue, but she refuses to fight, kill and destroy to save more lives. Only because of this does she not join Aizen Sousuke when he asks her to.

6.) People look at the captain of a division of healers and what amounts to a cheap labor force and think her to be soft, weak, like they think of her subordinates. They forget something of grave importance, though. She is, unlike her subordinates and those who try to judge her, a captain. And like all of her rank, she enjoys the rush that comes with calling on their powers, the pulse of reiatsu unleashed. Too late and to their sorrow do those who try to kill her find out that her sword is more than just a giant, grinning ray-like thing. It is, in some cases, also a big, sharp sword, and Unohana Retsu is a master of the blade.

7.) She has had more Vice Captains than any other captain. With the exception of three, all of them became captains and died in heroic last stands. Those three that didn't become captains died as most medics do, quickly mourned, quickly forgotten. Only her last - and current - Vice Captain has figured this out and decides to stay at the side of her Captain come hell or high water. She's bound to survive to die of old age this way, at least.

8.) Unohana Retsu was asked twenty-seven times to join the Central 46. The first ten times, she politely declined. The next ten times, she curtly declined. The five times after that she had to tell the Commander-General that she would delegate his yearly medical check-up to hopeful apprentices if he tried to get rid of her again. The last two times, though, she handed the luckless messenger over to the ever-present recuperating patients from the 11th and told them that the man had volounteered for combat practice. So far, the Central 46 did not send anyone else to try and convince her to join them, and even if they did try, they found no-one willing to take the job.

9.) She hates three men with all the considerable passion her heart can muster. The esteemed Commander-General of the Gotei 13 for more crimes than she can possibly count before her audience falls asleep from exhaustion, Kurotsuchi Mayuri for being the singlemost unholy blight to ever disgrace the title of 'Captain' and Urahara Kisuke for allowing the miserable, wretched slive known as Kurotsuchi to usurp his title... and, well, bolting from Soul Society without telling her. She does not, however, hate Aizen Sousuke for trying to bring down Seireitei and all it stands for, even though she disagrees with his methods. She knows that she'll be the first to cheer for him if he ever manages to strike down Yamamoto.

10.) It was true love at the first sight when she met Ichigo. She could feel it radiate off him, the burning desire to prove himself, the spiritual-biological imperative to grow stronger and stronger and stronger until nothing in the world could challenge him anymore. She loves Ichigo, because when she looks at him she sees the death of the system of Soul Society, be it by his hands or by his death.

11.) She introduced the living-world speciality of catnip to Soi Fong. To this day, Yoruichi has not forgiven her for this transgression. Unohana thinks it's been worth all the trouble the angry and scarily creative Shihouin princess unleashed upon her in retailation.

12.) Ise Nanao is a former member of her division. When the woman - more a girl, back then - was a 3rd Seat in her division, Unohana took notice of her exceptional talents at all things related to the manipulation of reiatsu. After only four years of training she considered Nanao ready to take on Vice Captaincy. Three days after that the last Great Bar Crawl happened and she managed, of all things, to lose Nanao in a bet to Shunsui. Somehow, though, Unohana Retsu knows that her former subordinate likes her new place within the hierarchy of Soul Society.

13.) She is - and has been - the closest thing to a friend Komamura Sajin has amongst the captains of the Gotei 13. She was the second person in the afterlife to see him unmasked and not show fear or revulsion. She personally took over his physical examinations from the day he joined the shinigami corps and she has greatly enjoyed debating about the concepts of both justice and honor with him. It is a real pity in her eyes that Komamura is Yamamoto's Man to the core, because if he wasn't, she could truly be his friend instead of someone who values a strong sense of justice and honor, misplaced as they might be.

14.) She has helped Kuchiki Byakuya greatly over the years in either dissuading or outright terminating rumors concerning the man's sexual orientation. While it is very hard to do so - both of them know that he looks exceedingly effeminate and that his zanpakuto release states do not help at all - she does it because he had the guts to marry Hisana. Anyone who stands up against the repressive order of those who claim nobility in Seireitei is, by her choice, a friend in need. And she helps those who need it.

15.) During the war against Aizen and his army of horrible hybrids, she volounteered to teach the rag-tag strike team that Kurosaki Ichigo had assembled everything she thought they'd need to survive in terms of kido. The frustration she felt when the boy simply fell asleep during lectures was quickly replaced by bone-deep satisfaction when he learned quickly. The transition from boredom to frenzied activity was accompanied by her setting the boy on fire in order to catch his attention. That she got her hands all over him in order to make sure no burns remained was a big plus, too.

16.) She grinds her teeth in frustration as she readies to unleash Minazuki on her enemies in order to save Yamamoto-Genryusai Shigekuni. But she realizes that the time-worn man is needed yet, as a symbol to keep that which she loathes together. It is the hardest thing she has ever done, preserving that which she would gladly see reduced to naught but ash, but she does it anyways, to make sure youngsters like Ichigo have a chance to change things.

17.) She is an example of poise, grace and everything else one likes to see in a lady, and she has been hit on by enough people - of both genders, to her chagrin - throughout the centuries to prove it. Unfortunately for the most persistant of her pursuers she is not a lady, but a lady that knows how to use polite serenity as a weapon more dangerous than anything they might imagine. No-one knows that she is waiting for her perfect Prince Charming - and if they know, they also know how to shut up on the matter.

18.) When Ichimaru Gin stabs Aizen Sousuke in one swift, final act of betrayal she lobbies the hardest to get the man re-instated into the ranks of the Gotei 13. When it is decided that the silver-haired betrayer is too dangerous to keep around, she made sure that all they destroy was a fake body. Nakajima Ginga is a rising star in the academy these days, and no-one would suspect the cute, if creepy, girl to be the former captain. Unohana Retsu is many things, one of them being an expert spiritoplastic surgeon.

19.) During her long, long stay in the supposedly good-aligned armed forces of the afterlife she has slain what amounts to three captains in direct combat. The first had the power of one - before the rank of captain was introduced by Yamamoto. He had come to budding Seireitei, looking for a fight and had picked her. Minazuki said the man gave her indigestion. The second was the precedessor of the delightfully caustic shrimp known as Hitsugaya Toushiro. Trying to force himself on one of her subordinates was the last mistake the drunken wretch made in his life. Minazuki asked her not to fight drunkards any more. Hangovers shared over the Shinigami-Zanpakuto bond were awful, so she didn't. The last was Kurotsuchi Mayuri, and she loved every second of it. She asked Minazuki for forgiveness, but the manifestation of her sword told her that if she ever found another walking cocktail of psychotropic substances, she should waste no time in ordering her zanpakuto to devour it. Somehow, Unohana is angry at Mayuri for having the gall of being tasty in the eyes of her sword.

20.) When it's all said and done, the only thing she laments is that her hair still has a mind of its own and refuses to accept the heavy braid she keeps it in, even after many, many centuries of keeping them in this shape. Although it takes no more than two minutes and thirty-six seconds thanks to practice, the fact that she can and has braided her hair while sleeping is a tad bit embarassing. She is a creature of habits, indeed.

--

Note to self: Do not make bets with Fosfor. He is a robot who replaced his heart and brain with machines so he does not have to sleep any more.