Well, here I am, back for another rewritten chapter. Aren't you all excited? Well, at least the like 9 people who've alerted and 13 people who've favorite'd this might be remotely jubilant.

In any event, I'm really…REALLY upset with the way I portrayed Tenten in the old version of this fanfic. I made her out to be an annoying busybody who loves to shop. Which…I don't think does Tenten the justice she deserves. I'll just have to stick with it though…once I have a time skip I'll make her personality do a complete 180 and hopefully make her less irritating, while maintaining some girly traits. Also in the old version, I could probably count Tenten's lines on my fingers and toes, there were so few of them…trying to fix that.

…wow…this chapter was originally so damn short…I'm gonna have to like rewrite the whole thing from scratch in order to meet my minimum…

Oooh, I just got some inspiration of what I can change in this chapter to make it more interesting! Woot!

Seriously, go read the original version of this chapter…it's so bad compared to this one.

And yes, the whole point of this chapter is to be fun. C'mon, even the canon has filler…why can't I have it too?

Started at 1400…and…it became the chapter that doesn't want to end…

ADVENTURES

IN

L I G H T N I N G

--Digitally Rewritten--

Chapter 6: Three is company, but Four is just Awkward

Naruto paced back and forth between the beds in his room. He was unsure of what happened that day. Everything was going great until Tenten had opened her stupid mouth. He flopped down on a bed and let out a sigh, followed by a sharp inhalation through his nose. He noted some blockage in the nasal path so he inserted his finger in order to dislodge whatever may be obstructing it. After it was dislodged, he stuck it on Kakashi's pillow and sighed again.

What was a guy supposed to do in that situation? Just suck it up and try to get through it? He wasn't an expert on girls, but he was fairly certain that just ignoring this whole situation would probably make it a whole lot worse. He and Hinata were getting along fine, and he didn't really want to ruin that, as she was swiftly becoming an even better friend.

Not to mention this friend was smart, pretty, way nicer than Sakura, apparently, unlike Sakura, viewed him with great respect, she was a little insecure…but he sort of found that cute. In addition to all that she had those nice massive…EYES. Naruto forcibly dragged his mind out of the gutter, determined not to turn out like his sensei or Ero-Sannin. Though, he did really find her eyes intriguing to look at.

"But I still like Sakura better," He said matter of factly, then with a sigh added, "Then why was it so embarrassing?" He scratched his chin. It was true, if someone had said that about him and Sakura, he'd jump all over that and agree with them, despite the innate risk of head trauma. So, if he could act that way in the same situation with Sakura, the girl he was supposed to like, why would Hinata make that big of a difference? They were both girls, so it shouldn't be that different.

The more he thought about it, the more he confused himself. For the first time in his life, he didn't really know something about himself. He was one hundred percent sure that he liked Sakura, suddenly an image of her punching him in the head flashed through his mind, ok…ninety-eight percent sure.

"Still…I…like Sakura." He said very unconvincingly.

"Really, Naruto?" Kakashi, who was standing by the door, asked. "It seems like you should try to convince yourself before you try to convince others, cause you don't seem too sure of it.

"Oh shut up Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said rolling his eyes. He did not want to hear anything about girls from the pervert that, as far as he knew, never had a girl who he liked, ever. "What do you know?"

"I know you've got a lot going on up there in your head kid." Kakashi said simply. "You can try to figure it out on your own, or you could let me try to help." The blonde looked at his masked sensei and weighed his options. He sure as hell didn't know what to think, so a second opinion might be in order…even if it was Kakashi-sensei's opinion. Naruto usually valued his sensei's opinion, as he knew that Kakashi was far more experienced than him, however…Naruto doubted this was a topic he knew much about.

"Kakashi-sensei…why is life so confusing?" Naruto finally broke the silence.

"If I knew that, Naruto, I'd be a hell of a lot richer." Kakashi said jokingly.

"Kakashi-sensei, I understand you want to help, but if you're going to be an ass about it then I don't want it." Kakashi looked at confused teen and sighed.

"Oi…" Kakashi walked over to Naruto and sat on the bed next to him. "I'm going to guess that no one's ever taught you about the birds and the bees…have they Naruto?"

"Umm…I know about them." Naruto said with a furrowed brow.

"Good, that's a start." Kakashi was about to continue when Naruto interrupted him.

"Both of them fly around…" Naruto said making hand gestures of a bird flying. "And one stings you and you swell up…and some people are allergic… but what's that got to do with…"

"Not those kinds of birds and bees Naruto." Kakashi interrupted with a long drawn out sigh. "The other kind."

"There are other kinds of birds and bees?" Naruto imagined giant, 8 foot hawks battling similar sized bees. "…I've never seen any bees like that." He said flatly, though with a proper summoning contract the hawk was more feasible than a giant bee. Kakashi sighed and started whispering into Naruto's ear.

"Well…Naruto, the birds are…"

"Really?" Naruto asked as shock spread across his face. "No way…"

"Yup." Kakashi said, "And the bees…well they're a whole different story…they're…"

"Are you sure…?" the blonde looked at his sensei incredulously. Somehow the image he got in his head was of a parakeet in a dress and a bee wearing a suit and tie, eating a romantic dinner of birdseed and honey by candlelight. "Nuh-uh…"

"Yes Naruto," Kakashi continued. "Then afterwards they…" he leaned further in and continued to whisper the new, delicate information into Naruto's ear. The longer Kakashi whispered, the more visible the look of mortification on Naruto's face became. Once Kakashi had stopped Naruto just sat there for a while, absorbing what Kakashi had just said to him. Naruto's overactive imagination once again bastardized the information he had just received. The parakeet and bee, stood up from the table, threw off their clothes, embraced, stared at each other lovingly for a moment, shared the most awkward kiss that Naruto could possible imagine (beak plus mandibles does not a kiss make), and dove into a futon, conveniently placed on the floor right next to them.

"WHAT?!" Naruto jumped back. "T-T-T-T-T-THAT'S GROSS!"

"God…" Kakashi said with a blank stare, "Who'd have thought at 15 this kid wouldn't know about the birds and the bees…" Kakashi rested his head in his palm. "The master of Sexy no Jutsu and Harem no Jutsu doesn't know about the birds and the bees…" Kakashi looked at Naruto who was flailing about complaining that Kakashi shouldn't have told him something like that. "…As if anything could get more ironic…"

"And you're telling me that this whole birds and bees deal is going on between me and Hinata-chan?" the blonde inquired cautiously.

"Sort of…" Kakashi sighed dumbfounded.

"But a bird is too big for a bee to…" Naruto was even more confused now, viewing his imaginary bird and bee couple (Their names are Chirpy and Stingy!) trying to accomplish any illicit acts with the huge size difference, was hurting his brain. All the while, still trying to figure out how birds and bees getting it on related to him and Hinata, was making smoke pour from his ears as the rusty gears turned. After nearly three minutes of thinking, he finally came to a conclusion. After reaching said conclusion, he yelled, "I'm not a bee!"

"Holy shit you're an idiot Naruto…" Kakashi hoisted himself off the bed and started towards the door.

"Where are you going Kakashi-sensei?" The curious blonde inquired.

"You obviously need to get in touch with your pituitary gland." Kakashi opened the door and stood in its frame. "Later, I'm gonna go look for Kaoshi again. I'll be back by morning, and while I'm gone I want all four of you to stay in this room."

"W-WHAT!" Naruto yelled surprised by the turn of events. That meant he'd have to be in there with Hinata…awkward.

"You heard me. Tell them when they get back, ciao." He smiled and shut the door behind him.

"Idiot…" Naruto said under his breath, leaned back in his chair, and stared at the ceiling. Only instead of the ceiling he saw Kakashi's face but a few inches from his own. "WHAT THE F-!" He yelled as he sprang out of the chair.

"I forgot to tell you that you should try to talk to Hinata. She seems fairly distressed too." He pointed out, "Can't have awkwardness throwing off our teamwork now."Kakashi smiled and poofed away in a cloud of smoke again. Naruto had nearly died of a heart attack.

"Damn him!" Naruto said between breaths. He looked up at the ceiling again. Kakashi wasn't there. He was alone again. He could always go next door and…

"Oi Naruto," said Kakashi as he crawled out from underneath the bed. Naruto jumped to the ceiling and clung there as sweat poured down his face. After soothing his bladder into not releasing its contents, took a deep breath.

"K-KAKASHI-SENSEI!" He yelled, "STOP DOING THAT!"

"Sorry, one more thing, that's it I swear." Kakashi put a package on the table. "I need you to watch this for me, don't open it or anything, kay?"

"Y-Yeah…" Naruto said between huffs.

"Excellent," Kakashi said, "Ciao." Was his last word before disappearing once again.

"God dammit." He really wasn't fond of the idea of going to talk to Hinata. They had spent four hours having great times and were becoming really good friends. Then it all exploded like Chouji after a bean burrito. He thought about it several times before saying, "What the hell?" He got up and left his room.

Hinata was lying on her bed on the verge of tears. Her perfect day was ruined. The once in a lifetime experience was over. All she could do now was remember it. Or so she thought.

A knock came at the door. Hinata looked up and trotted to the door.

"W-Who is it?" she asked meekly.

"It's Naruto. I was bored so I figured I could come over and talk to you?" said the voice outside. "So…c-can I come in?"

"Y-Yes…" Hinata unlocked the door, rubbed her eyes, hoping they weren't too red, and took a deep breath before saying to herself, "You can do it…" She opened the door, and there, lo and behold, was the object of her desires. "H-hello Naruto-kun." She said as her face turned bright red. "Come in…"

"Thanks." He said as he flashed his classic cheek-to cheek smile. He walked into the room and sat down on one of the beds. Hinata followed him and sat adjacent to him on the other bed. They both wanted to say something but neither of them could really find the words to say anything.

Finally Naruto decided that the silence had gone on long enough.

"Hey, Hinata-chan…"

"Y-yes, Naruto-kun?"

"About what Tenten said…" Hinata looked up so she could see his face. "Let's not get all weird about it, all right?" Hinata blushed and smiled.

"O-okay Naruto-kun."

"Let's just pretend it never happened, the only thing we'll remember from today is all the fun we had, kay?"

"Y-yes…okay." Naruto patted her on the head. "Good. Now that that's all cleared up…" his voice trailed off.

"N-Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked. Naruto responded by placing his index finger over his lips.

"Shh." Naruto crept up to the door and placed his ear to it. Outside he heard the two familiar voices of Lee and Tenten. Naruto, not wanting to be caught in the girls' room quickly used a Henge no jutsu and transformed himself into a lamp above the door.

Hinata realized why Naruto was acting so weird when Tenten, who, though honestly sorry for the trouble she caused, had gotten distracted by a shop on the way to the inn, walked in. She placed her plethora of bags down and looked at the shy girl on the bed. Hinata's face was still flush red.

"Hey, Hinata-chan why are you blushing? It's only me." Tenten said arching an eyebrow.

"N-no reason." Hinata said in a rather unsure tone. Tenten could only think of one reason she'd be blushing. Naruto was somewhere in the room.

"Oh…" Tenten said with a sly look on her face. "So you wouldn't mind me…" Tenten dropped down onto the floor looking under the beds, "LOOKING UNDER THE BEDS?" No Naruto.

"Ummm no…" Hinata said in a soft tone, slightly less worried that Tenten would find Naruto now that the search was actually on. "Tenten-san…why are you…?"

"How about…" Tenten flung open the door to the bathroom. "IN THE BATHROOM!"

"A-Are you feeling alright Tenten-san?" Tenten continued around the room looking for Naruto. Luckily for him, Tenten had left the door ajar because she had so many things to carry. Naruto quickly undid his Henge no Jutsu when Tenten had her back turned, winked at Hinata, and left.

"Well…I guess the room is clean." Tenten said looking at Hinata whose face was even redder than before. "Jeez girl…there's something wrong with you." Tenten sighed, figuring Hinata just blushed at random times and couldn't really control it at all.

Naruto stood outside the girls' room for a moment gloating to himself. "I've still got it!" He said. "The prankster stealth." Naruto opened his door and walked into the room. Lee was sitting in the chair reading a book he had picked up about ancient or lost Taijutsu styles. "Sup Lee,"

"Naruto-kun, my companion!" Lee yelled jumping up. "There you are! I was worried you might be off squandering your youth!

"N-No…" Naruto said with a sigh. He really felt sorry for what Gai's training had done to the poor genin's mind.

"Did you and Hinata-chan resolve your issues?"

"Yeah," Naruto shrugged, it was pretty easy really…after all that internal debate had made it seem.

"Excellent!" Lee exclaimed, "The fires of youth are strong in you Naruto-kun!" Lee repeatedly slapped his hand on Naruto's shoulder with pride. After the third slap Naruto had to break away, fearing that Lee would dislocate his shoulder.

"Well, Y'know," Naruto said scratching his cheek, "Can't have awkwardness messing up our team dynamics."

"Yes," Lee agreed, "Very well said my youthful friend!" Lee yelled excitedly once more.

"Anyways, we've gotta tell the girls to come in here," Naruto said with a sigh, "Kakashi-sensei's orders." Lee nodded and stood up, but Naruto told him to keep reading, hoping that if might free his brain from the hold Gai-sensei had put upon it. Naruto exited the room and walked up to the girls' room. Naruto pounded on the door, opened it, and stepped in. "Kakashi says that we all have to…" Naruto's eyes went wide as he surveyed his current environment. He examined the two figures in front of him, clad in nothing but their undergarments. "Woah…" was all he could say

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Tenten, who seemed to prefer the simple white undergarments, shrieked as she threw a lamp at him. Before it collided with his head, Naruto noted a single skull and crossbones on her bottom undergarments, and thought it suited her. The lamp collided with Naruto's face, shattering into several pieces. Unphased, Naruto's eyes drifted over towards Hinata and her massive…EYES. Naruto snapped back into reality and started to freak out.

"WAAHH!!" He yelled as he finally realized his predicament. "Wha--?! Uhh, I…" Not knowing what to say, Naruto finally decided on, "YOU SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME!!"

"You should have knocked!" Tenten seethed. "Out."

"But…" Naruto said, still trying to deliver his message.

"OUT!!" She yelled as she picked a kunai off the ground.

"Y-YES MA'AM!" Naruto yelled and fumbled over himself to get out of the room. He exited and slammed the door behind him. Tenten deeply breathed in and out trying to soothe her frustration. Judging from his totally stunned behavior, he clearly didn't mean to walk in on them changing. It was hard to really, REALLY get mad at that kid…even if she wanted to.

"Ugh…" Tenten sighed. "Not cool…" Tenten looked over to Hinata, whose face was absolutely red. If it was possible, Tenten thought her head might explode from sheer embarrassment. "Snap out of it girl!" Tenten said as she bonked Hinata on the head.

"Tenten-san…" Hinata said shakily, "C-C-Can I…n-not get m-m-married now?" her white eyes threatening to let loose tears.

"Of course you can…if something like that ruined women for marriage, most women wouldn't get married." Tenten then smiled mischievously. "Well, even if it did, if you married Naruto then it wouldn't matter then, would it?"

"M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M…" Hinata's brain exploded with images of her and Naruto at the altar. "M-M-M…" She stuttered, "m-m-m…"

"Great…I broke Hinata…" Tenten sighed. She bonked Hinata on the head again, snapping her out of her daydreams. "Look, I don't know why, or from who you're trying to keep this a secret…but me, Lee, and Kakashi-sensei already know." Hinata's head sunk a bit. "So, if you need someone to talk to, I'm all ears." She noted Hinata's face lift a bit. "I can't promise advice from experience…cause well, I haven't had much myself…but sometimes just talking helps."

"Th-Thank you Tenten-san…" Hinata said shyly.

"I expect you to do the same for me." Tenten said with a smile. "Got it?"

"Yes." Hinata smiled back at Tenten.

"It looked like the idiot had something to tell us too…" Tenten sighed. "Well, let's go over there and use that as an excuse to patch things up." Hinata agreed and they finished changing, and left their room. After a walk that lasted but a few seconds, they arrived at the guys' room and knocked.

"Shit!" Naruto yelled. He may have been blocked by a door and walls, but he was still clearly audible from outside. "They're here to exact revenge! Lee! I'm going to hide in the bathroom so don't tell them where I am!"

"Sure thing! I do not wish to see my companion, so overflowing with youth to be beaten to a bloody pulp after accidentally viewing our female companion's stunning visages; as you so described them!" Hearing this made Hinata blush again and Tenten's eyebrow twitched.

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to feel complimented or irritated…" the brunette said. After a moment Lee opened the door.

"Oh, my female companions!" Lee exclaimed in an overly practiced tone. "What could you need?"

"Naruto looked like he needed to tell us something about Kakashi-sensei, so we're here to find out about that." Tenten said with a sigh as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Well Kakashi-sensei apparently visited Naruto and told him to tell us that we'd all be staying in this room tonight for safety purposes." Lee, who was also in the know, explained.

"Ah," Tenten said simply. "So, where's our 'youthful companion'?" Tenten asked flatly in an unconvincing attempt to humor the boys.

"I promise with all of my youth that Naruto is NOT in the bathroom under the sink!" Lee terribly lied, if you can call it a lie…

"I see," Tenten said flopping down on one of the beds. "So, did he say anything about what happened?"

"Indeed." Lee said with a smile, "Naruto-kun said that when he went to inform you of the room change, he accidentally opened the door to find you and Hinata-san changing. Upon viewing your, 'stunning visages', as he so referred to them, he froze and didn't know what to do. When you threw the lamp at him it woke him from his daze and he hastily exited the room."

"That sounds about right." Tenten sighed.

"Naruto-kun feels incredibly guilty about it." Lee continued, "He asked me to apologize for him."

"Fine…" Tenten stood up and walked to the bathroom.

"AHhhhh," Lee yelled, "You won't find him in there Tenten! If you recall I said he was definitely not in the bathroom under the sink!" Ignoring her teammates cries, Tenten sauntered into the bathroom and dragged the blond out. Ignoring Naruto's cries of apology she propped him up on the bed and drew back her fist to punch him really, really hard. Naruto saw it coming and squinted his eyes to prepare for the coming deathblow. When Tenten only bonked him on the head, he opened an eye to see the brunette standing before him with her hands on her hips.

"Look," she said strongly, yet in an understanding tone. "Hinata-chan and I have talked it out and we're letting you off easy this time. So," She added with a smile, "Knock and wait for an answer before barging into someone else's room. Especially if it is a girl's room."

"I'm sorry Tenten!" Naruto yelled with relief. "It will never happen again!"

"Damn straight it won't." Tenten said crossing her arms, doing a complete 180, "Cause if it happens a second time," she paused dramatically and pressed a kunai to his neck, "There won't be an opportunity for a third time, get me?"

"Y-Yes!!" Naruto stuttered.

"Good." Tenten let out a long breath. "Okay, now that that's settled and we're all still friends…" She was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Oh, I bet that's Kakashi-sensei." She hopped over to the door and looked through the eyepiece. "Who is it?" She found herself looking into a blood red eye with three commas in it. Her world swirled into darkness as the genjutsu took hold of her and she collapsed.

"Tenten!" Lee yelled rushing to his fallen teammate. "Snap out of…" He also found it hard to speak as a hand rammed through the door into his face, sending him flying back into a chair.

"Lee!" Naruto yelled as he took up a defensive stance. The hand that had punched through the hard wooden door worked its way over to the handle and unlocked the room. As the door slowly opened, Naruto could only feel a chill go down his spine as he found himself staring down a man with blood-red eyes who wore a cloak covered in red clouds.

"Good afternoon, Naruto-kun." The elder Uchiha said flatly. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

"Itachi…" Naruto growled as he positioned himself between the mass murderer and his teammates.

-- -- -- -- --

Lol cliffy. I NEEDED to end this chapter…it was going on too long. In any case…here it is…From 1400 words to almost 4000…ENJOY!