Pairing: Sasuke and Sakura
Rated: M
Summary: Because she was tired of waiting and he was tired of pretending he didn't care.
Note: Um, okay first lemon. A lot of cursing and other things (yes, I'm so innocent that I can't say it) so it's rated M. The idea was stuck in my head forever now, so I decided to write it out. I've never written anything this serious and full of drama, but I am pretty proud.
For: SMOKe13, 'cause she's always convincing me to be more perverted and NOT a prude and Troublesome girl since all she reads (haha – your such a pervert ALI) is lemons and whatnot.
Warning: MEAGHAN, DO NOT READ THIS OR I WILL KILL YOU AND BE TOTALLY MORTIFIED AND NEVER FORGIVE YOU. ahem. yeah.
shooting across a starless sky
His curved fingers dug into her long and glossy hair. Her breaths were become more rigid with each breathtaking kiss. Hands were traveling as well as minds while he pushed her against the wall, ready to claim what was his.
Articles of clothing fly in every which way, for both were impatient for what they really wanted.
Although both the prizes were different, the fact that they were winning one (and were in for the win) was the same.
One, who had once wanted the gift of a relationship and love, now just needed to vent, and earn a sort of artificial adoration that she always dreamed of, but never obtained.
The other, whose ambitions had never changed, found the other as a nuisance and, just like he told himself manymanymany times, he would never like her in any way other then friendship—if he could even call what they have that.
Others would just call them 'friends with benefits', or even go along the lines of 'fuck-buddies'.
And for some reason, they were okay with that. Because both of them were broken, and when one has a broken heart, it isn't worth fix for they could get heart. When one is unfixable, and they meet another person in the same state, it is almost destined that they will try to help each other.
But they didn't try. They didn't try to mend the ripped seams that had been opened one too many times.
And because they didn't try, there really was no hope of normalcy, or even a whole heart and a whole head, full of ideas of the future and the possibility of the impossible.
But that ambition seemed too far away as they continued with their ministrations, kissing any available skin, being greedy, and taking all of the other person.
"S-Sasuke…" She stuttered as he entered her, overwhelmed by the power and stamina of her partner. Her breath, which was racing before, now calmed into a whisper after her peak.
She leaned into his hard chest, resting there before letting sleep overcome her. Sasuke looked down at her slumbering form, and he almost felt a smile come upon his face. But then he realized what he was thinking and quickly pushed the idea out of his head (just like he had manymanymany times).
He finally fell asleep as well, relaxed by the consistent lullaby of Sakura's steady breathing and the way her chest would fall upanddownupanddown on him.
It was almost a frightening thought, the one that entered his head once he had succumbed to unconsciousness. It was the thought of someone leaving him, just like everyone had.
His brother, who even though didn't kill his family out of spite, left him to suffer after he killed everyone he ever loved.
Konoha left him when he was suffering over the loss he didn't understand.
His heart left him during that time he decided nothing was worth loving and that there was nothing to dream for.
And after everything, and everyone, leaving him, he came to the realization that he has to keep them near, or soon enough he'll lose himself.
(even though you could consider him losing himself that night he first had fucked Sakura, for it was not like him
even though it wasn't his fault; she was the one with the water sticking to her and her clothes, showing off her curves and anything a man always had desired)
But the thought of someone running away from him wasn't of the aforementioned. It was the one person he really needed to mend his hallow and empty heart. He needed someone to fill it with the joy he never really had.
Sakura.
But how could someone fix a heart if theirs is broken as well?
It doesn't seem feasible, but he was never one to give up, so he wouldn't.
And when Sakura would wake up early tomorrow, not thinking that he could see and hear her, grab her clothes that where thrown all over his clean floor, hastily put them on, throw one last, sorrowful (sorrysorrysorry, pleaseforgiveme) glance, and run out the door, he wouldn't think twice about stopping her.
Her little footsteps that trailed his carpet (and his crueldarklonely heart) would only be background noise to his peaceful slumber, and he wouldn't feel like grabbing her wrist—he wouldn't want her to stay.
Because she was nothing, and nothing she would stay.
If she didn't want him, then he wouldn't want her.
And that's just how life would go.
It was the third time that week that it had happened—fifth time all together.
The sun was high in the sky during their training season and the heat was a bit to unbearable to not see the way Sakura sweated and Sasuke's hair did that flippy thing. So when Sakura went to go and stab a kunai into Sasuke's side, he stopped her with a fiery kiss that led them to their activities now.
Sasuke bit on her shoulder and Sakura's high-pitched squeal was muffled by his returning mouth, trying to hide what they're doing from all Konoha—and specifically Naruto.
Because it wouldn't do if everyone found out that Sakura Haruno, top medic, and Sasuke Uchiha, top ANBU captain, were getting it on in the forest, even though there was absolutely no trace of a relationship, or even a liking towards one another.
Naruto, as always, must disagree, saying that Sasuke gives too hard of stares to his favorite kunoichi and that Sakura would always love him, just like she promised.
Sasuke had often wished that the latter was true, but then stopped himself when he realized just what he was saying. He didn't want love, he didn't want a relationship, and he most certainly didn't want her.
But he wanted sex, and that is what she gave him. She'd always give (even when there was nothingnothingnothing left) to him, even though she was the one who needed to receive as well.
And as everyone (including his deadgonenevertoreturn mother) always said, it was better to give then to receive.
Sasuke thought otherwise, for he was selfish and greedy. He took and took and took. And when he was expected to give, he took some more and some more and some more.
Without regret.
But somehow, with these weird couplings him and Sakura kept pertaining in, he started, slowly (because he was never one for change alone, so moving too quickly might affect it), molding into the man she'd deserve.
And that alone scared the shit out of him.
He never had to change for others; others had to change for him.
"S-Sasuke-kun…"
Sasuke's smirk soon turned malicious as he went faster and faster over her limp form. "Yes, yes, say my name…" He demanded and she complied, because she was giving and he was taking.
But that was just their excuse.
By the seventh time it had happened, you couldn't really call it a coincidence anymore—hell, even lust wouldn't subdue.
Because, really, a man pushing a woman against the wall in said girl's office just because she just so happened to be talking to another man isn't mistaken for something as trivial as the average yearning that they both posses.
Sakura tried to resist; really she did. She put both her hands on his chest, pushing him away, for she had to get back to work and just outside were people who could hear. Oh, and the fact that she was tired of this.
She was tired of everything.
She was tired of his demands from her. She was tired of randomly giving herself to him when there was no promise for either of them. She was tired of trying to mend his heart.
Because she had just as much reason to not love again, but she always did.
And now it was time to stop. Last year, when he came back with no love, she shut herself off from said emotion and promised that it would never enter her heart. And it didn't. Sure, that fateful day when she and Sasuke had first started these routines, it had aroused some emotion in her, but not love.
She'd never love again.
Because she was tired of waiting.
"Mine…" He hissed into her ear before nibbling it, bringing her half-naked form closer to him. He ripped off her doctor's cloak, tossing it onto the chair, for he was never one to be neat in a fit off passion.
The skirt she sported had been long gone as they entered the room clumsily. Her hair was ruffled as Sasuke ran his hands through it roughly, hastily. The kisses kept trailing down as Sasuke's hand fiddled with her pink panties, trying to restrain himself from ripping them off, just like he always did.
And suddenly, Sakura melted to him, giving up her ministrations to try and get away.
Because she knew it, he knew it, hell, even the Hokage knew it.
She didn't want to get away.
She never would.
It was the tenth time that Sasuke realized these sessions meant more than just what he presumed them to be. After a few longing stares over ramen with Naruto and the way her shirt seemed to show off her curves more, it was destined that what they were doing in his bedroom was fated.
He pushed her on the bed, being in the lead (alwaysalwaysalways). He stole her innocence and he felt no guilt.
And though she didn't know it yet, she stole his heart, and still she felt guilty. She felt bad for what she had put him through, even though the damage on the opposite end was much worse.
And suddenly, as he hurt her again (physically and mentally) she realized that it wasn't worth it. It was all pain and no gain. And she knew that her shattered heart (because it wasn't cracked, but crushed) would become numb. Numb from all his kisses, all his words that would lure him to her, and numb from the love she felt growing with each and every coupling.
Sure, she would still do this, for it seemed like the only way to replace what was never there, but nevertheless she was fucking tired of everything; including him.
And as this epiphany occurred, Sasuke, although still pleasuring her (and himself, since he wouldn't do anything just for the purpose of someone else's joy, because he was just so selfishselfishselfish), had a similar experience.
He realized that no matter how many times he wanted to think he felt nothing for the pinkette shaking beneath him, he was never able to convince himself.
Maybe it was the way she was always there, the way she would always give, or just the fact that she reminded him of his mother.
But whatever it was, it confused the hell out of him.
It made him want to stop.
Because, as soon as he felt something wet coming out of her (beautifulextraordinaryextravagant) eyes, he knew that he didn't want this anymore; he didn't want to do this.
But he continued anyway, because he was reaching his climax and the girl under him was still naked, still beautiful, and still his.
And at just the thought, he never wanted her to do this with any other guy, for just the thought made him swear on his father's grave and wish death upon his deceased brother countless times.
She was hishishis, and she would stay that way forever (andeverandeverandever).
He would never lose her.
Because nothing is worse than losing something that never really belonged to you in the first place.
After going a week without any meetings, Sasuke had still craved after her and her body and her soft skin, but had kept his raging hormones down, for he knew that every dream would precede the goal.
Sakura had noticed the reductions in their activities, and even she herself had wished they continued. She had thought of confronting Sasuke, but then realized how stupid she would appear in front of the one man that always seemed to matter.
Instead, she resorted to the second, okay, maybe third, since there was Naruto, person whose opinion she held in highest regard.
Ino.
"Sakura, sweetie, I know that we have our differences, and we fight all the time, but I really love you, and when I say this, I mean it; stay away from him."
Sakura looked up, her eyes hidden by the curtain of pink hair blocking the exact view. She didn't want her best friend to see her crying. "I, I can't."
"He doesn't love you and you don't love him. There is no point."
She finally showed her glassy, teary eyes and Ino almost did the same. Sakura had once promised her that she'd nevernevernever cry; she wouldn't let herself after what happened, because all her tears were gone and there was nothing left to cry over.
But he, that wonderful man he was (isisis), always gave her something to cry over, and she was sick of it. She was so fucking sick of being weak, and that was why she changed; why she became stronger. But it wasn't enough; it was never enough.
"I-I don't love him. I don't want him. But I want it to stop hurting so much."
Ino shook her head sympathetically. "Sakura, he won't fix your broken heart; only you will."
"But what if I want him to?"
Ino gave her friend a pleading look, just begging that those tears would go away, that that smile would return, that she'd finally be happy with who she is and what she does.
That she'd get away from him.
"He is Sasuke Uchiha. He isn't compassionate and he has absolutely no interest in fixing what he didn't think he broke; even if it is you."
"B-But what about all that happened? What about what we had?"
Ino breathed out. "Sakura, you had nothing. It was just a way to relieve stress, to vent out; it was plain lust and you were the nearest, fuckable thing."
"So now I'm just a thing someone can fuck?"
"Sakura, you know what I mean. And you know what Sasuke means. And you know what you mean. You know what you need to do, and how to do it, but just because you don't listen to yourself doesn't mean that others should too."
"What are you saying?"
Ino sighed. "Sakura, you need to give up on this silly dream called Sasuke and the fact that you love him and want something else; something that he'll never supply and you'll always be wishing on shooting stars for."
"But what goes up must go down."
"What?"
"I'd never wish on an object that would one day come crashing down."
And with that, she left.
Sasuke looked up at the girl (womanwomanwoman) in front of him through hooded eyes, resisting the temptation to jump her now. Although it wouldn't be good, seeing that they were at a party and in front of many.
She was talking with Ino, secretly, and the bags under her eyes and the redness of her cheeks proved that either she had been working too hard (again), or she had been crying.
He hoped it wasn't the latter.
And as Naruto babbled to him about his latest triumph during a mission, all Sasuke could think about was the way the red material stuck to her hips, and the enticing way her skin was viewable.
Then, suddenly, he was angry, for others (men, greedygreedy men) could look at her in this position. Only he could.
Because she was his and he was hers and no other person would come between that.
And Sasuke had kept a hard eye on her all night, but more specifically, the men surrounding the beautiful kunoichi.
She had put on her black trench coat, hugging it to herself as she walked out of the building the celebration had been held in. Sasuke was close behind and he caught up with her easily. Once they were walking in step with each other, Sakura looked over at her companion and sighed.
"Not tonight, Sasuke."
Sasuke spared her a glance, raising a questioning eyebrow. "What?" Sasuke hated to ask, for it meant elongating a conversation more than it had to be. He wanted to know things now, and now he would be answered, because he was simply him, and it needed no further explanation.
She flustered quickly, and Sasuke stared in awe, wondering how anything else could be more beautiful. "I, I, uh, you know, don't wanna do it tonight."
"You don't want to walk home?"
And now she was pissed, because she didn't know what he was talking about and she just fucking hated being messed with; screwing with her emotions, her heart, or even her body would drive her mad—no matter how good Sasuke was with his hands.
"You know what I mean."
Sasuke looked up again. "I'm just walking you home."
She stared in disbelief, and the fact that she couldn't form a comprehensible sentence made him smirk. "W-Why?"
He just shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets, his smirk effaced of his flawless (justsogoddamnperfect) face.
And when they arrived at her door, he didn't attack her with kisses and his hands didn't roam all over her tempting form. He just nodded his head, saying his goodnight without words, just like always.
And once he escaped into the night and she stood there for a good five minutes, she opened the door and wondered what the hell just happened.
After another week of hardly any communication with the boy (verbal or physical), she finally couldn't take it. She stormed out of her door, surprised by the darkness that surrounded her once she was outside.
Even though it was quite late at night, she still didn't care. She needed him; she needed him bad.
She knocked on his door, somewhat harshly, but still gingerly for she would always be the kindconsiderateloveable girl that everyone had come to appreciate.
He opened it, about to yell at the dobe he was expecting, but then stopped himself; or well, was stopped, by Sakura's tongue that plunged down his throat once he made himself visible. She quickly pushed him, finally being the one who wanted, the one who would take; and take she did.
But Sasuke pulled away from her and her intoxicating kisses. Sakura stared in disbelief, hurt evident in her eyes. Her slightly bruised lips were slightly parted, her breathing ragged.
"Sasuke, it's my turn."
She went in for another kiss, but he placed his finger on the awaiting lips. "I, I can't do this."
Tears began welling in her eyes, but she promised that they wouldn't fall—she wouldn't let them. "W-Why?"
"'Cause I'm tired of just being your fuck-buddy."
Her mouth began to gape more, for she was truly befuddled about what was going on right now. "What…?"
"Damnit Sakura, I don't want to just be some shit in your life that you come to for a quick fuck."
"Then what do you want Sasuke? What can I possibly give you that I haven't already? 'Cause, if you haven't noticed, all my god damn life I've been trying to help you, giving you everything you could possible need, and not expecting anything in return! What do you need now?"
"You,"
And with that one word, one syllable, three letters, everything, he kissed her, but not in a fierce way, not in an offensive way, not even in the demanding way.
It was in a desperate way.
It was a soft kiss that expressed all the passion he could never really say; all the things he wanted her to know with just one kiss.
It didn't involve his tongue, or even his lips, but just his heart and his head and his hands when he held her in his arms just so.
"I, I don't want to fuck."
She looked up at him, her lips closed, but still ecstatic from the mind-blowing kiss she had just received. Her eyes glazed over, so mesmerized by his everything (everylittlething).
"I want to make love."
And now it was Sakura's turn to kiss him. She started off slow, but soon her kisses trailed to his collarbone as she slowly took of his shirt, her hands guiding themselves under the soft material of his shirt.
He sighed in relief and slightly moaned from the last bite Sakura gave. He helped her take off his shirt, and then his pants till he was only in his boxers. He gathered her in his arms, going into his room, only to lightly (likeshewasgoingtobreak) laid her on his bed, crawling up to meet her.
Sasuke slowly unzipped her shirt, but not before throwing her a questioning glance, to which she responded to with a gentle nod. Once it was off, he worked on her bra, kissing his way there.
She giggled lightly when he kissed her breast, free of the material that once wielded it. The sound was music to his ears and he decided that he wanted to hear it again (andagainandagain).
His nose grazed from her neck, all the way up to her jaw, lovingly caressing it. Once he pulled away, he looked down at her face, seeing enchantment and pleasure all over it. She had a large grin on her face that made Sasuke's heart skip a beat.
She hadn't smiled at him like that in years.
And again, he wanted to see that smile every day for the rest of his life.
Tonight, as they made love, it was soft and kind and loving. It was nothing like what they used to do, where everything was harsh and cruel and unforgiving (almost like their hearts and the world that they blame it on).
And when he entered her tonight, and her climax was reached, and she screamed like she always did, it was almost like a scream of joy; a scream of something accomplished—a scream of love.
They fell asleep that night, holding each other in their arms, never wanting to let go.
Sakura fell asleep knowing that tomorrow, everything would be different and everything would be okay.
Sasuke fell asleep knowing that tomorrow, Sakura would be there when he woke up.
Because she had a broken heart, and so did he.
So quietly, slowly, passionately, they would mend them—together.