Stilled in Happiness

Summary - Laguna's final moments with the one he has found and lost

Disclaimer: I...OWN...NOTHING!! All characters from FF8

Warning: Contains illness of the really bad kind (i.e. Cancer) though not specifically mentioned, and death. If this bothers you do NOT read. You have been WARNED

This is my first fic ever so please be kind and flames will be used to roast meat!

Laguna POV

It's all I can do, to sit here with him in my arms, comforting him in our darkest moment. It seems so unfair, having not known of him for 17 years and now, it seems fate has its own ideas; of suffering. It's ironic; after all he has been through, with Ultimeca, for something as common as a disease to be the end of him.

I watch as his face cringes when needles penetrate his skin, poisoning his body even more; only delaying the inevitable. I look down to him and find myself shocked by a sight I never thought I would see. His beautiful stormy grey eyes are awash with fear and pain; tears are welling up and running gently down his soft cheeks. I wipe them away with my thumb, knowing that my own tears are not far away. I hold him closer to my chest, his ear resting over my heart. My hand combs through what remains of his chestnut locks, the rest having fallen out from his chemo. I remember when we were first told this would happen, when the doctors said that he would lose his hair, my breath had caught in my throat at that simple sentence, I was amazed at how something that seemed so small, in comparison to what was happening to him, could affect me like that; I just couldn't imagine him without those golden locks. He, naturally, said nothing, he just nodded grimly, hiding all emotion of how the disease would affect him. I still don't understand how he can do that, even I would have reacted a bit if I was him, but that's just me.

Another needle comes forwards but is waved away by an almost transparent pale hand. The doctor looks at me apprehensively, but all I can give is a shaky nod. I've known for a while now that this treatment is becoming too much for him, but he has never been one to just give up or admit to his pain; I suppose I sub-consciously assumed that he would continue with it regardless. Yet, here he is, in my arms, refusing treatment and accepting the inevitable. It comes as a sickly strange feeling that I am proud of him; I hated it when he just accepted his suffering, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

We knew, at the beginning, that this wasn't going to work, but we went through with it, hoping beyond hope that it would work.

It's too much to explain the feelings that suddenly well up inside of me, as I motion for the doctors to leave the room. Each gives us a look of sympathy as they leave, but I don't want their pity, I just want to be with him, more so for him to be alright, but that's an empty hope. I smile sadly as he presses himself closer to me, but I am also angry, I didn't need fate to tell me I had already missed 17 years of his life. But it's too late. He's here with me his breath coming in laboured rasps. My hands grace over his arms gently pulling out the numerous tubes and needles that blemished his skin, travelling down his back to begin rubbing it in soothing circles. I glance down and he's staring at me with a smile on his face. He lifts one of his hands to my face and wipes away the tears I didn't know were coming. I smile back at him, a genuine one. He closes his eyes and leans back against me, and I'm so sure I heard him whisper 'Thank you', for what I don't know, but I'm glad that I'm here and I suppose that's what it is. I press a kiss to his head and see a faint smile pass his lips before the last thing does, 'I love you, Dad'.

At least his heart has stilled in happiness.

FIN

What do you think? Should I write anything else ever? I've never wrote a deathfic before...upset!

Angel Wings-008 thanks so much, I promise i will write more soon. HUGS! :)

Rebelling bountyhunter: Thanks. I am aiming for making people cry...glad you liked it. No FF8 for a bit but my HP story is up 'Love that Binds Us'