Calm My Heart: One-shot

For three years my lover and I lived in secrecy. Not even our friends suspected us. We did well, and were careful, especially when went out drinking or partying. We only allowed ourselves to have as much as we want before we get drunk in any way, and only get wasted when we were home alone, on a day off night.

Work was also very… awkward. We worked in the same business, and yes, he got hit on everyday by the same women at the same time. It got annoying, too.

It made me happy when after work he'd call me from his car and started to blab about how much he hated those women and wished he were in my pants. All I managed to do was laugh.

I loved him.

"Baby, when are we going to bed?" He asked on that night, in a whisper. He ran his hands up and down my thighs.

"Why do you ask?" I chuckled and wrapped my arms around his neck. Over the past years we've been together all we really did was kiss and have sex. When went out to dinner we spoke about dude stuff, like sports and women and family. If I could have told him I loved him over and over and hold his hand while we walked I would do it and never stop, but we couldn't risk it.

"I want you, baby. I've been hard all day and I you're your tight, pretty hole." He said, making my cock twitch. His hands moved from my thighs to my back and he picked me up, moving us to our bedroom.

My shirt was long gone by the time we got there and he kissed me all over my chest and my neck, but he couldn't reach 

my lips, not yet. He gently laid me on my back on our queen bed and made sure I was comfy before he removed my pants and my underwear – yes, my underwear. He thought it was sexy on me, because my ass is so hot or something. He was insane.

I loved the way he kissed me. I felt like butterflies were flying over my stomach and… everywhere his lips tasted for. I did my best to give him everything he wanted and needed, but my body is all he asked for. He paid our bills, he bought our food, and he offered to pay for my collage funds. I was going to school for pre-med at Konoha U.

But whenever I tried to do something for him he told me to go take a long nap and let him rub my back. I do whatever he wants, of course. As I said, I wanted to make him happy, no excuses.

"Sasuke," He whispered into my shoulder as he made slow, passionate love to me. My arms locked around his neck and his around my waist.

"Oh, Itachi… I love you!" I shouted his name when I came all over us and he filled me up with his seed.

When I was in bed with him I felt like no one could get to us, no one could take him away from me.

When I look at his grave stone, I cry and I wish that we were more careful with what we did and when we did it. I wish that those people hadn't done what they did to him. My heart pounds in and out of my chest when I think about him. That night, I felt like I was going to die, but it isn't me who was hurt.

His last words run through my head as I lay next to him, my lover in the ground. "I'll love you forever, no matter how far apart we are, Sasuke, my love." My life isn't the same. In my, or, our 

apartment, it feels so empty, even though his picture is in every room and his scent never leaves.

The only person who comes to visit me now is my best friend, Naruto. He is the only one who understands my loss in the oddest of scenes. It is basically the same as it is whenever he came when Itachi died. I'd cry into his chest and he'd hold me tight as he could.

He tells me I'll be okay with him there, and that I should try to move on. It will be better for me if I do so. He tells that he'll be here for me when I'm sad and I can call him whenever I need him.

I need him, now more than ever. I can no longer rely on Itachi to pay for the bills, food or tuition anymore. It is all on me now. And it is stressful. I work extra hours and now I have another job at the ramen shop, where I met Naruto. He was a daily customer and we quickly became friends.

He noticed that I never seemed upbeat, so he'd tell me things that made me smile and laugh. He took me out to dinner and we talked and talked about nothing particular and I didn't sulk at all. It was as if… I forgot that my lover had been beaten to death.

I forgot what he did; I forgot the pain I saw in his eyes when he backed me up into the wall, when he fell on top of me so I didn't get hit. I forgot everything, and all I saw was Naruto.

It was inevitable, ironic. I remember when he asked to be my lover. A few months after I said yes, things turned out for the better.

That night, it was so different.

I wasn't crying.

I wasn't thinking of my previous love.

All I thought of was Naruto.

I thought of his cock inside of me, deep and full. Slow and passionate. Just like Itachi.

And it wasn't until two years after Naruto and I married I realized that my heart was calm, and I was not empty. I realized that I did not have to cry for my previous lover, because he wanted me to be happy, and find love in someone I could feel, someone who was actually there.

I'm thankful for Naruto. Now our apartment smells like our love, and my brothers' grave is decorated with flowers as beautiful as he was, beautiful as he is.

I'll never have to worry about anything anymore, now that I have Naruto. My heart is calm now, and will be that way until I die myself.