Touch
Touch
Author's Note: The age difference between Rose and Hugo is not DH compliant.
Author's Note 2: This story was inspired by the song Touch by Seal. NOT A SONGFIC.
Summary: Draco reminisces about his and Hermione's life together.
I still remember that day; at Platform 9 ¾. You smiled at me; everyone else whispered and looked away but you, you smiled. That simple gesture was the first sign of kindness I had seen since I had moved back here from the States. My marriage only a shell of what I hoped it would be but I couldn't let anyone see that. It wasn't how I was raised. Astoria and I went through the motions in public, the young affluent doting parents, proudly sending their child off to school but it was a total scam. Scorpius was so happy and so excited. This was all a big adventure for him. First, moving back here; he hadn't live here since he was an infant, and then going to Hogwarts, his family's alma mater. He was so proud. A selfish part of me wanted to keep him home with me. He was the only part of my life that was worth anything. He was my little shadow ever since he could walk. I couldn't imagine what that house was going to be like without him there with me. Just the thought of it hurt more than I could think about. He was the only good thing that came out of that marriage. I knew it, even if Astoria didn't.
I will never know how you recognized my pain through a simple nod of my head but I thank Merlin, every day that you did. Not two days later, you showed up at my office with some silly excuse about needing help with the pre-planning of the Hogwarts alum mixer that was over 12 months away. In hindsight, that was a really lame story but I didn't care; I was just really happy to have company. That's how it all started, isn't it, us? Our lunches together, three days a week were based on a lame story, an excuse to see each other, to spend time together. It's kind of funny that we had to find an excuse to get to know each other better; I guess with our track record at the time, it was to be expected.
I remember the day when we stopped lying to ourselves and each other. You asked me about Scorpius, like you always did. I showed you his mid-term report; he was #2 in his year. You proudly showed me Rosie's report; she was #1.
"The next generation of the Malfoy/Granger competition, watch out." I said. You didn't correct me when I said 'Granger' and not Weasley. You became quiet for just a moment or two.
"Hermione, are you ok?" You nodded and smiled at me then flipply said, "I'm fine, my husband has been shagging one of his Quidditch team mates for the past 4 years, my marriage is a scam, my kids don't know their father but I'm just peachy, thanks for asking. And you?"
I sat back in my chair and stared at you. You shocked the britches off of me. You said it all so matter of factly. I couldn't believe it. I leaned forward, and looked you in the eyes,
"Astoria and I haven't had sex since Scorpius was 5 years old. Our marriage is only for show." Your reaction was priceless, I'll never forget it. You leaned in to meet me; you were really close, almost nose to nose. Then you said, with that sexy voice of yours, "Well, Malfoy, if we're going to take things to this level and we're gonna get so intimate, you know what that means, don't you?" I could feel your warm breath on my lips, I so wanted to kiss you at that moment. Then, you kissed my nose and snatched the pickle off of my plate. "Ha, Gotcha!" You giggled, "I got your pickle." You had the cutest smug look on your face. At that moment, I knew, I was in big trouble. Things were going to get dangerous and I didn't care.
From that day forward, we were almost inseparable. We had lunch together every day; we would have dinner together with Hugo. He loved that he had two 'parents' with him. Truth be told, I didn't know if he would like having me around because I wasn't his dad but our kids never ceased to amaze me. I still remember the day that Hugo called me Daddy for the first time. He was very sick, we had been up with him non-stop for 3 days, trying to keep his fever down and make sure he didn't get dehydrated. He slept between the two of us on your bed so we would be there for him if he needed anything. You had finally drifted off to sleep out of pure exhaustion when Hugo woke up for the first time in 2 days. I had just started to fall asleep when he began to stir. I watched him for a few moments. He didn't know I was awake. He turned over to face you. Checking to see if you were asleep; he touched your cheek, gently then he turned towards me. I closed me eyes before he could see that I was awake.
"Daddy…Daddy, you awake?" He shook me gently. I opened my eyes and smiled at him. "Hi Daddy…"
"Hi Hugo, how do you feel?"
"I have to go…" I nodded, picked him up and moved him to the floor on the other side of me and his legs started to buckle. I caught him before he fell.
"Are you ok, Buddy?" He shook his head, no. He looked so much like you when he did that, it was unbelievable.
"Would you come with me, please? I still don't feel so good." I picked him up and took him to the washroom, I gave him a quick sponge bath and changed his pajamas, then brought him back to you, thinking he would want to curl up with his mum. Instead, he climbed into the bed and when I lay down he positioned himself on my chest. I pulled the blankets up to cover both of us so he wouldn't get cold. Hugo sleepily lifted his head and smiled at me. "I love you, Daddy", then he fell asleep. I couldn't help but cry. It was one of those moments that I never expected and didn't dare hope for. I held Hugo and I fell asleep. I don't know when you took this picture of us but I'm so glad that you did. You captured my first father/son moment with Hugo. Thank you.
Do you remember the day we told Rose and Scorpius about us? That was an adventure. You received special permission to let Rosie come home overnight for the weekend in the middle of the term. She had asked if she bring a friend with her and you said yes without asking who it was. I guess you were too concerned about how Rosie was going to feel when you told her that you and Ron were splitting up. Having a friend with her could only help her.
We got to the train station that afternoon; Hugo was so excited. You were nervous. When we reached Platform 9 3/4 , Hugo saw the train and ran down the platform, yelling for Rose. We lost him in the clouds of steam. I grabbed your hand and we chased after him but I couldn't see him. You were in tears; I think you had hit your breaking point at that moment. Then we heard Hugo's giggle. We turned to see him walking between Rosie and Scorpius; he was holding their hands. They were swinging him back and forth. They were all smiles when we reached them. You hugged Hugo then smacked his bum for running away and scaring us. Scorpius and Rose looked at us puzzled.
"Hi Daddy! What are you doing here?" He came over and hugged me. I picked him up and squeezing him tightly. I couldn't believe how much I had missed him.
"Hey Buddy! I could ask you the same question?"
"Rosie invited me; Mom said you said it was ok." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I made a mental note to speak Astoria about this. I sighed quietly. Having Scorpius here was going to make this a bit more…challenging, especially since I hadn't spoken to Astoria yet.
After introducing you and Scorpius, he nearly knocked you over when he hugged you; we all headed back to your house. The kids were talking non-stop about classes and all of the new friends they had made.
"Scorpius, how did you and Rosie become friends?" I asked.
"We're potions partners. Slytherin and Gryffindor have a lot of classes together. Did they do that when you were in school, Daddy?"
"Yes, they did. Mrs. Weasley and I were in several classes together." Scorpius looked at you, shocked.
"Were you in Slythe…?" Rose interrupts.
"No, you prat! My mummy was a Gryffindor like me"
"Oh…" Scorpius was a bit disappointed.
"What's wrong, Scorpius?" You asked, innocently.
"How come all of the stupid girls are in Slytherin? It sucks."
"Scorpius, come here, Dear." You pulled him onto your lap, almost instinctively. "I'm sure there are plenty of smart Slytherin girls; you just haven't met them yet."
"Were their smart ones in your year?" He asked innocently, rendering you speechless. I snicker.
"He's got you there, Love." Without even thinking about it, I got up and started cleaning off the table; kissing your head as I passed you. You looked up and smiled at me. The kids watched us but said nothing. As they got up to leave the table, you stopped them.
"Umm, before the two of you go off to play, we need to speak to you, ok?" Rose and Scorpius exchanged looks and nodded, quietly. We sent Hugo upstairs to play; our talk with him was going to be a bit different since he and I had the beginnings of a relationship and he was too young to understand things like divorce. We all went into the living room and piled onto the overstuffed sofa, you were propped up against me. Your voice was shaky and you were visibly nervous but I don't think they noticed.
"I wasn't expecting to have this chat with both of you but somehow, it seems appropriate. Rosie, your father and I haven't exactly been happy together for quite some time, I think you know that. It's not your fault, it's not Hugo's fault, it's not anyone's fault. It just happened." I noticed Rose and Scorpius look at each other; then she took his hand and squeezed it tightly. She started to speak, very softly.
"Umm, Mummy," Rose started, very tentatively, "does this mean you know about…Simon?"
"What? Yes, No, Wait…What? Who's Simon?" Again, they exchanged looks; then she continued.
"Umm, Simon is Dad's…paramour."
"Uh..Uh…how do you know that word? Rose, why would you say something like that?" You were starting to unravel.
"Because it's true, Mummy. Simon's daughter, Ashton is a 3rd year; she told me…us, a few weeks ago."
"Why? Why would she do something like that?"
"She said that she was tired of her family living a lie for the sake of the Chudley Canons, and she didn't want another family to go through the same thing… And…" Again, she looked at Scorpius, he nodded for her to continue. "She said that if one family can be happy, even if it's not hers, she was good with that." Rose looked down, her voice got really quiet. "Mummy, were you and Mr. Malfoy gonna tell us?"
"Tell you what Rosie?" Your face went pale and your palms were sweating. Rosie was outwardly calm but it was obvious that she was nervous.
"Tell us that you two are a couple." Your mouth hung open in disbelief. I pulled you into my arms and kissed your head.
"And how did you find out, Little Lady?" She blushed slightly.
"Ashton's older sister works for you, Mr. Malfoy. Kaitlin Dornblaser. She said that you always seemed so sad when she saw you. Then you started having lunches with Mummy. She said that you started smiling." We both blushed, in spite of ourselves.
"You like each other, don't you?" Rosie asked eagerly. Scorpius nodded hopefully.
"Yes, we like each other very much." The two of them beamed, looked at each other then nearly pounced on us.
"Well, are we gonna be a family? Are we?" We both started laughed as our kids bombarded us with questions; their excitement was bubbling over…
"Hold on, Hold on, both of you…Slow down, one thing at a time." They both sat back, trying to contain their joy. "Scorpius, I need to talk to Mummy first. You can't tell anyone. Neither can you, Rosie. Your mum still has to talk to your Dad. There's a lot of grown-up stuff that has to be decided before we can plan anything."
"So we're gonna be a family?" Rosie said.
"Maybe… And that is all we're gonna say on the subject for now. Ok?" I said, with a big smile on my face. The children looked at each other and nodded in agreement. They kissed each of us and ran upstairs. You relaxed into my arms, smiling.
That night was the first time we made love. I'm not sure why we waited but now, I'm glad we did. It wasn't easy feeling your warm body against me every night, kissing you, touching you. I have no idea how I/we exercised so much restraint. It had to be accidental.
We had tucked the kids into their beds and I was just expecting us to go to sleep. You kissed me and said you were going to take a quick shower. I was lying on the bed, reading, in my plaid flannel pajama pants, when you came back into the room. You dimmed the lights, and I looked up. You were standing at the bathroom door in one of my white dress shirts; I could see your toned bare thighs.
"Hi Love." You said, shyly.
"Hi Beautiful."
"Would you like some company?"
"I would love your company." You walked over to my side of the bed and stood between my legs. I gently ran my fingers up and down the back of her thighs. I watched you shiver. I smiled. We both knew that the time was finally right.
"Draco, I'm nervous."
"Me, too." I pulled you to me and kissed you softly at first; then slowly, I deepened our kiss. I could hear you moan against my mouth. I ran my fingers up the back of your legs and grabbed your bum firmly. "You don't have any panties on." I looked at you in disbelief. You smiled and blushed as I caressed your bum, kissing down your neck and tickling your ear. I looked up at you, totally in awe of you.
"I love you, Hermione." I heard you gasp as your grip tightened around my neck.
"I love you, Draco."
I felt your soft lips on mine and I knew I was in heaven. I ran my fingers through your soft wet curls and pulled you back onto bed with me. We giggled like a couple of teenagers when we toppled over. Our kisses were soft and warm and ever so slow. We didn't want to rush this, we wanted to remember everything. I slowly unbuttoned your shirt, placing a kiss where each button opened. You moaned softly as you ran your fingers through my hair. When the last button was unfastened, I opened the shirt and gazed at your beauty. With a feather-like touch, I ran my fingers over your breasts and your abdomen, making you gasp softly. You never stopped looking into my eyes. I kissed your forehead, then your nose, then your sweet lips. My hands lead the way for my lips as I explored your body. Feeling your nipple against my tongue was sheer bliss. You arched towards me, hungry for my touch. I could never deny you. I kissed down your stomach, tickling your navel with my tongue, making you giggle. When I reached the place where your thighs meet, I had to stop myself for a moment; I had to steady myself. I couldn't rush, not matter how much I wanted to devour you, I wanted to savor every second with you. I spread your legs; I could see your wetness. It was making my mouth water. With the first taste of your sweetness, I thought I was going to lose my mind. So sweet, so warm. Absolute bliss. I could feel you trembling; your body was so hungry for me. I sucked your clit as I slowly thrust my fingers into your warmth. I looked into your eyes; they were twinkling as you smiled at me. I could see such love and passion in your eyes. I sat up and removed your shirt and you helped me undress. We were kneeling in the center of 'our' bed, naked together for the very first time. Our bodies touching, our hands caressing, our mouths tasting, it was so sensual, so beautiful. We melted into each other, becoming one for the very first time. I entered you so slowly, savoring every second. I have never felt so complete. I looked into your eyes, I could see your tears, and you were trembling. You snaked your legs around mine, as you thrust against me. Your moans were driving me mad; I could feel you tightening around me. Your voice was just above a whisper as you clung to me.
"Draco, yes…Oh…Oh yes…Please…Please don't stop…Oh…Yes…" I could feel your walls caressing my shaft, I couldn't hold back any longer. I swear I saw stars when I climaxed. I buried my face in the crook of your neck, kissing you, and basking in the moment. I felt your fingers in my hair. I looked into your eyes, you were crying. I wiped your tears.
"Thank you, Draco." I looked at you, confused.
"For what?"
"Loving me."
"For loving you? Loving you is easy. Resisting the urge to shag you senseless at my whim, that's going to be a bit more challenging." You laughed and smacked me in the arm then pulled me to you and kissed me.
I lost count of how many times we made love that night. Both of us so hungry to each other's touch, to love and be loved; we had been deprived for so long. We finally fell asleep, naked in each other's arms, exhausted and blissfully happy. Sometime between 5 and 7 am the next morning, the invasion began. First, Hugo came in with his blanket and climbed into the bed with us and promptly fell back to sleep, snuggled between us, like he did when he was sick. Sometime later, I heard the door open again, and I heard them whispering.
"Do you think they 'did it'?"
"Hugo's in there, I don't know."
"Wait, my mummy always sleeps in pajamas.
Look, no pajamas."
I then heard an excited giggle.
"There's my dad's pajama bottoms, this is a good sign."
"Come on…"
The next thing I felt was the two of them climbing on the bed and curling up with us. Rose, curled up next to you and Scorpius snuggled behind me. I was really glad that you had a king sized bed. We all slept for a few hours before we all woke and made breakfast together. We were becoming a family and we didn't even notice it at the time.
The kids were actually disappointed when they had to go back to school; they wanted to stay with us. We told them that if all went well, we would have Christmas together and they were happy about that. The house was really quiet when we got home. I don't know about you, but I missed that madness of having them home. We put Hugo down for his nap and retired to our room for a while. We decided that we needed to deal with Astoria and Ron that week, no more waiting, we were tired of waiting. We also knew it wasn't going to be easy.
When I spoke to Astoria, I was shocked to learn, she was fine with us splitting up. I told her that Scorpius was going to stay with me, permanently and she didn't seem phased.
"So, Astoria, who is he?"
"What do you mean?"
"Stop the bullshit, who is he?"
"Theo Nott."
I growl.
"How long?"
"Long enough."
"What about Scorpius?"
"You've already found a new mother for him, haven't you? Besides, I'm not the mummy type."
I wanted to slap her but she was right. They had never been close and Astoria was good with that. Scorpius adored you and his new family so I might as well leave well enough alone.
Ron wasn't nearly as easy for you but it all worked out in the end. He tried to bully you but you weren't having it. You told him that you would go to the Quibbler and the Daily Prophet with his and Simon's relationship if he gave you any problems. You were bluffing but he didn't know it. Fear, it's an excellent motivator. Our divorces were final just before Christmas. We surprised the kids with a new house, one where they could decorate their new rooms and they had plenty of room to play. On Christmas night, amidst the boxes and giggling children, I proposed to you. When you said yes, the kids nearly knocked us over. I'm not sure who was happier, them or me. All of my dreams were finally coming true. We were a family.
Our wedding was small but beautiful. I'm so glad that we decided to have it here. Mum wasn't really happy about the idea at first but when you told her how much it would mean to us, she finally softened and helped you plan everything. Simple elegance, that is the best way to describe it. There were floating candles everywhere, crystal vases filled with white and blush roses. You looked like a goddess as you walked towards me; Rose and Hugo were holding your hands. Your gown was white with golden cords wrapped around your middle. The sleeves were long and flowed like wings. You wore a golden tiara, with simple gold hoop earrings and a gold lariat neckleace. You took my breath away. Scorpius squeezed my hand and said, "Daddy, breathe…"
When you took my hands and looked into my eyes, everything and everyone else disappeared. I could only see you. My beautiful Hermione. I can still remember the poem you recited for me.
Now we will feel no rain
For each of us will be shelter to each other.
And now we will feel no cold
For each of us will be warmth to each other.
Now there is no loneliness
We are two bodies, but there is one life before us and one home.
When evening falls, I'll look to you and there you'll be.
And I'll take your hand and you'll take mine
And we'll turn together and we'll look to the road we traveled to reach this - The hour of our happiness.
It stretched far behind us, and our future lies ahead -
A long and winding road where every turning means discovery
All the hopes, new laughter, shared tears,
The adventure has just begun
I cried, and I didn't care who saw me. My hands were shaking, my voice cracked worse than when I was going through puberty. I was trying so hard to sound perfect for you but I was so nervous. Then you touched my face and smiled at me. That's when I knew, everything was already perfect. This was our wedding day; the day we became a family, officially. That was all that matter. I looked into your eyes.
"My dearest Hermione,
The road that brought us here has been a long and bumpy one.
In my quietest prayers, I asked for you. I asked for a best friend,
a lover, a soul mate. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I ever expect
my prayers to be answered.
It all started with a smile. Such a simple gesture, an act of kindness, a ray of
sunshine and hope in the darkest recesses of my heart. You are a gift that I don't
know if I deserved. I will spend the rest of our lives showing you how much I love you.
Every moment of every day, I thank you for rescuing me and making all of my dreams come true.
I read this poem once, a long time ago. I hope it says what I can't.
If there are regrets,
let them be for things unimagined, unattained
songs unsung, passions sadly tainted.
To these regrets add one,
love reserved, restrained.
People who are treasured,
as I treasure you,
can be separated by distance and time.
Yet upon reuniting resume,
as they had never been apart.
Because in our hearts,
we have always been together.
I remember looking at Rosie, her face streaked with tears. She gave me the thumbs up. I guess I did good.
My parents were really great to us, much to my surprise. They surprise us with the villa in Greece for our honeymoon; they took Hugo for a week and they were civil with Molly and Arthur when they picked him up. For them, that was huge. Honestly, I think my parents finally realized that my happiness was more important to them than ancient history.
We were so blessed. For two people whose relationship started out so rocky, sometimes I can't believe that we're found each other and we have the life that we have. I never told you because I thought that you would laugh at me. But I used to watch you sleep. A part of me was afraid that if I didn't watch you that somehow, something would take you away from me.
We became a family as soon humanly possible, Rose and Scorpius made sure of that. I still remember the best Christmas gift the kids ever gave us. I'll never forget it. Rose and Scorpius were 14, and Hugo was 8, I think. The three of them stood in front of us, in matching pajamas that they picked out and handed us two scrolls.
"Open it, Daddy," Hugo said, his little face beam.
I opened it slowly and we both gasped and looked at our children.
"When? How? Rosie, Hugo are you sure?" I asked, completely confused.
"Yes, we're sure."
You looked at Rose, "Hunny, how did you… ? I don't understand."
Our wonderful daughter squeezed your hand and smiled, she looks so much like you. "I went to Ron's house with Hugo a few minutes ago. Grandpa Arthur and Papa Luke set it up for us. I told Ron that he chose his life and chose not to have us in it. So we have made a choice as well. We chose our Dad, the man that loves us and is always there for us. I presented him with these papers and told him that he had to sign them."
"And he just agreed?" Hermione asked, in shock.
"Mummy, you know how he is, of course he didn't. He yelled and screamed and basically freaked out. I told him that the Ministry and the Daily Prophet would be eager to hear about their star Quidditch player who is living with his 'paramour' and neglecting and verbally abusing his children."
"Rosie, you didn't." Hermione covered her mouth with her hand.
"I did. Then I told him that he can live any lifestyle he wants to as long as we can live your lives the way we choose to. There was much more screaming and yelling as well as throwing things. Grandpa Arthur and Papa Luke actually had to step in when Ron's temper was getting out of control. Ron finally signed the paperwork and Grandpa and Papa took them to the Ministry for processing." Rose looked at Hugo and Scorpius, they both nodded. "You just need to sign here and you will be our Dad, for real…That is if you want us." She looked up at me with those eyes that look just like yours. My heart just melted.
"If I want you?" I pulled her and Hugo into my arms and hugged them tightly. Scorpius looked at you, with and apprehensive look on his face.
"Umm, will you open yours now?"
You opened it and gasped. The tears started almost immediately.
"Scorpius?"
"Will you…umm…will you be my mum?" He asked, his voice shaking, terrified that you would say no. He looked down, afraid to meet your glance. You pulled him into your arms and he started to cry. "You're really gonna be my mum?"
"Yes." You whispered, kissing his head as he hugged him.
"This is the best Christmas ever." I did my best not to cry but I couldn't help it. We signed the paperwork and within seconds it was off to the Ministry to make everything official. Rosie and Hugo officially became Malfoys and you became Scorpius' mum, legally, as of the January 1st of that year. Much to our surprise, Father and Mother were elated. They treated Hugo and Rose just like they did Scorpius; they were spoiled rotten and loved every minute of it.
"We were a happy family, weren't we? A man can't ask more than that, can he? Maybe I should've asked for eternal happiness. I finally had everything I ever wanted, a wife that loved me as much as I loved her, wonderful children, a happy home. Maybe things were too perfect?
I remember the day that I came to the Ministry to meet you for lunch. You had been working, for years, to reform Azkaban so it would be more like a muggle prison. Your campaign worked, the prison started allowing visitors and the judicial boards started allowing appeals, and the inmates were treated more humanely, after they got rid of the Dementors. We were meeting in the main concourse so we could floo to a Lilybeth's, that little cottage lunch place that has your favorite, American Style Cheeseburgers.
You were hurrying towards me with a big smile on your face. I was just beaming, I love when you smile at me. Then there was a commotion behind you; Rudolphus LaStrange was in court for his appeal case. He saw you, then he saw me and he yelled something that I couldn't hear. People were screaming and running when they saw him begin to struggle. He overpowered one of the guards, took his wand and hit the other guard with a Cruciatus Curse. I drew my wand and he sent a curse towards me, I saw the green light coming towards me. He missed, or so I thought. I hit him with 'Stupefy' and he fell to the floor as you landed in my arms. I heard someone screaming; it was a blood curdling scream of grief and despair. I felt people around me; it was then when I realized that it was me who was screaming.
Your eyes were open as you lay in my arms; you felt so tiny, so frail. People were talking about me but I couldn't understand them. I kept talking to you, begging you to come back to me. You couldn't hear me.
What am I going to do without you, Hermione? What about all of the plans that we made? You promised that this was forever… I'm not ready for this to be over yet.
You come to me every night; you promise me you won't leave me, again. You tell me you love me, I say I love you, too. We make love; we hold each other and cry. It's not fair, but live and death seldom is.
In the darkness of the night, I can feel you, my love. When I wake, my heart aches for you even more. I know you're with me but it's not enough. I know I'm being selfish, I know I'm being greedy but I don't care. I want you back, I want us.
"Daddy…"
Draco looked up to see his loving children, Rose and Scorpius, age 19, and Hugo, age 13. They had sad smiles on their faces. Rosie sat next to him on the floor of the empty bedroom and placed her head against his shoulder. The boys sat in front of him.
"Daddy, everything is packed, it's time to go."
Draco didn't move.
"Daddy?"
Draco looked at his daughter, thoughtfully.
"We had it all, didn't we?"
"Yes, Daddy, you did. You and Mummy had the romantic fairy tale."
"What am I going to do without her, Rosie?"
"You're going to take things one day at a time. And you're going to live and love like she did."
Draco smiled and touched his daughter's cheek.
"How did you become so wise at such a young age?"
"Nature and Nurture," she smiled warmly.
Draco smiled and hugged his children, tightly and cried.