Learning How to Bend
I own nothing.
WARNING: Character Death in this chapter ...
He looked at the clock on the night stand as he grabbed for his ringing phone.
6:15 ... Izzie must have stopped to pick up breakfast on the way home, he thought.
"Hello?"
"Alex ... It's Cristina."
"Yang, it's 6:15 a.m. on my day off, and all I want to do is lie in bed and wait for my wife to get home ... what the hell could you possibly want?"
"Alex. You need to come down here."
He heard it in her voice. The tone they all used when they had to deliever bad news. He felt his heart stop beating for a moment, dread coursing through his body.
"Wha-- What is it. Is it the baby? Something's wrong with the baby."
The woman on the other end of the line paused, almost like she was trying to control her emotions. Cristina Yang did not have to work to control her emotions. That scared Alex.
"You just ... you need to get down here now, Alex."
"Damn it, Yang! What the hell is going on!" He hadn't meant to shout, but he couldn't deal with not knowing.
"There was a pile up on the freeway. Izzie ... she left a little early. She wanted to ... "
Cristina's voice trailed off as she reconsidered her words. It wouldn't help him if he knew she was going home early to surprise him with breakfast in bed.
"She's in surgery, but you need to come. Now."
Alex said nothing as he hung up the phone, feeling as though, once again, his world had been shattered by tragedy. This time, though, life had been good. No, lilfe had been great. And now ... He couldn't bear to think of what he would find waiting within the walls of Seattle Grace.
"Where is she?"
"Alex!"
"Yang. Where the hell is she ... which OR?"
She had met him at the entrance of the hospital, knowing that he wouldn't be thinking straight. The Chief had been afraid that he might rush into Izzie's OR without thought, and he couldn't see her, not yet. Cristina had been elected to intercept him, because Meredith was in a surgery with Torres, still unaware of the situation, and George was too upset about the possibility of losing his best friend. Not to mention that the two men had never been on the best terms.
"They still have her in surgery, and the Chief wants you to wait in his office."
"But ... "
"No buts, Karev. I know you love Izzie, but being inside that OR is not going to help anything. She is in the hands of one of the best neuro surgeons and one of the best obstetric surgeons on the planet. All we can do now is wait. I'm under strict orders from the Chief that you are not allowed near an OR, with severe consequences if I let you go. You're not ruining my career, Alex."
He heard the words coming out of her mouth, but it was the look in her eyes that kept him from yelling back at her. He realized quickly that she wasn't being selfish, but doing whatever it took to keep him from seeing what no husband should see.
He swallowed and nodded to her, willing his feet to move. She guided him by the elbow to the Chief's office, where George and Lexie sat close together on a couch. Alex barely acknowledged the couple, numbly walked over to an empty chair. Cristina perched on the nearby edge of a nearby table. An eerie silence fell over the room.
They all looked up when the door opened again nearly an hour later, admiting Derek and Addison. All except Alex. He continued to stare straight ahead, terrified at the words that might come from their mouths. Derek signaled for George and Lexie and Cristina to leave, so that they could talk to Izzie's husband. George started to protest, but was silenced by Lexie's hand on his shoulder.
"Alex."
He refused to look up. He knew. Something inside of him knew that the news would not be good.
"Alex, we need to talk to you."
Addison tried to sound soothing and caring, but to Alex it might as well have been fingernails on a chalkboard. He looked up enough to catch their eyes as they took a seat on the sofa across from him, but he quickly reverted back to looking at his hands.
"Alex. Your baby is fine. From what we can tell, everything in utero is normal, and that is a very good sign."
"And Izzie?"
Derek and Addison glanced at each other briefly, trying to give each other the strength to deliver the news.
"Alex, she sustained major brain injuries." Derek paused, having to force himself to continue. "There was bleeding, swelling, which caused hemoraging. Her brain was severely traumatized. Her brain stem was damaged irreparably. I'm so, so sorry. There is no chance of recovery."
"No. ... No."
"We have her on a ventalator, since she is unable to breathe on her own. Her heart is miraculously in tact. She is keeping your baby girl alive," Addison said cautiously. "We want to suggest that you keep her alive at least until the baby makes it to at least 34 weeks. Right now, at barely 30 weeks, its still questionable whether the child would survive. It's possible, but I'm not confident with that choice."
Alex finally looked up at the redhead, darkness in his eyes and venom seeping through his voice.
"How dare you. Asking me to make my wife suffer to act as nothing more than a damn incubator! Asking me to make a choice about my wife or my daughter."
"Alex," Derek said, quietly. "There is no choice. Izzie's gone. She can't feel anything. Your child is still alive and healthy, but just too small to be here right now. She needs her mother right now. It is the one thing that Izzie will be able to give her. Don't take that from her. She's giving her daughter ... the daughter that you made together ... a chance to live."
The words hit him like a wave washing onto the shore. He wished that they could just pull him out to sea, and he could quietly and gently just disappear beneath the depths. It would have been better than feeling the agony of having his heart being torn to shreds.
Addison and Derek watched silently as the man in front of them went from angry and bitter to pained, giving into his tears, in a matter of seconds. The drops fell from his face to the floor in a torrent, and the two attendings knew they couldn't help him anymore. They left him to his anguish, and walked out into the hall. Where Bailey, Mark and the chief had joined Cristina, George and Lexie.
"Derek?" Mark spoke up, concern clear on his face.
Derek looked into the eyes of each physician standing around for news. Confusion, hurt, saddness, preparedness, even the smallest glimmer of hope.
He shook his head sadly.
"Her brain stem was too damaged. There wasn't ... there was nothing I could do."
Silence. Lexie tried to muffle a sob in her hand, and George just stood there shaking his head in disbelief. Richard closed his eyes, but remained calm, as he had been in Izzie's OR with them. Mark said nothing, but turned a left the scene. Bailey looked up into the heavens for answers. Cristina cursed herself for allowing tears to fall from her eyes, and then asked the obvious question.
"The baby?"
"... Is alive and seems to be doing amazingly well," Addison supplied. "We told Alex that, um, we'd like to keep Izzie on the vent, to give the baby a little more time to grow. But ... its his decision ... one he's not prepared to make yet."
"Derek!" Meredith's voice sounded from behind the group. Callie was right behind her, and both women sported a look of confusion. "Mark said I needed to come and talk to you. What happened. I've been in surgery for the past six hours."
Seeing the dark looks in her co-workers eyes, the tiny resident realized it wasn't good news.
"It's Izzie, Meredith."
That simple statement was all that she needed to know what happened.
"No ... Derek there has to be something you can do ... "
He walked over to his fiance and wrapped his arms around her.
"There's nothing."
Meredith sobbed into his chest for a few minutes, before looking up at the others. She wiped the moisture from her face, willing away the ache that had found its way to the pit of her stomach.
"Where's Alex?"
They all looked to the door of the office.
Meredith pulled herself from Derek and walked toward the door, motioning for Cristina and George to follow her. She knew that they weren't good at things like that, but Alex needed his family, and at that moment, they were as close as he had.
The three slipped into the room without knocking, finding Alex still seated in the chair, elbows on his knees, face in his hands. A tear stain had appeared on the carpet below him. Not saying a word, Meredith walked over to him, sitting on the floor at his feet. She reached up and grabbed his right hand as he continued to cry.
Cristina's heart broke for the man in front of her. She knew what it felt like to lose the person she loved. For once, no sarcastic remarks were made, no attempts at sparring. She followed Meredith and found herself perched on the arm of the chair, hand idly rubbing circles on his upper back and shoulders.
George hovered near the door for a few moments, staring at the man who, for a majority of the time they had known each other, had hated him of one reason or another. Alex hadn't just lost a friend. This man had lost his wife. Izzie. George knew that his best friend would have wanted him to be there for her husband, no matter how much it hurt. He slowly made his way to stand next to the side of the chair opposite Cristina, and awkwardly place a comforting hand on Alex's shoulder.
That was how they stayed for nearly an hour, simply depending on one another for the strength to take the next step. Alex felt their presence, and even though he was mostly unaware of his surroundings, he knew that these people would be with him through it all. They were his only family now.